head above water

[gimu]

WHO: Choso & YOU
WHAT: CATCH-ALL log for the next indeterminate while!
WHERE: Main Base; Neo-Tokyo & Surrounding Areas; 12am shower thoughts psyche plane
WHEN: Time is irrelevant & shall be labelled as needed
WARNINGS: Jujutsu Kaisen spoilers up to AT LEAST current canon (just in case). Further warnings will be labelled in relevant threads as needed

Comments

[gimu]

[ in person, kuzunoha raidou is a quiet young man, all measured tones and discipline and eyes downcast as if to shutter from the world the toothed thing that lay coiled under the veneer of his skin. in person, his heart lays more on his sleeve than mere text could ever convey; even choso can feel the weight of the boy’s concern from here, can pick out the familiar ache of worry in his even voice, can taste the anger seething in his pulse because it’s an echo of choso’s own, born from the same source:

yuji is in pain. ]

Whatever it is LILITH did, it brought him more loss.

[ more, more, ever more lost to the battlefield; a whole line of names burned into the back of choso’s mind, so many he doesn’t know, doesn’t think he’ll ever know now. the guilt flares like an old wound (you helped make this happen), a burn in his chest that bows choso’s back as he slumps in his seat, elbows on his knees, eyes boring unseeingly into raidou’s empty seat before he manages to lift his head enough to return his panda-eyed stare onto the summoner proper.

do curses sleep? does choso? no matter what he may think of himself, the last 24 hours has been spent awake, vigilant and restless in his own worry. ]

Be with him.

[ in the quiet of the room, choso doesn’t have to speak up to be heard, but the way his voice dips there, the slope down, the grate of his voice as his heart settles somewhere in his throat, it speaks of the significance he is trying to lay in each heavy syllable. ]

He fears losing more. More friends, more loved ones, more allies. I— I do not know how to salve his hurts, Kuzunoha. [ a confession, quiet with a shame he cannot dispel. ]

[the_fourteenth]

[Raidou's jaw sets tight as he says that, fearing that's what Choso would say. He nods lightly. There is also a chance that here, people will be lost to kaiju attacks. No security of a normal life here, though from what Raidou can glean from what Yuji has told him, Neo Tokyo was still the better option. What a terrible position to be in.

While Raidou feels helpless in this situation, Choso's only suggestion is the one thing he really can do for Yuji.]

If that's all I can do, then that's what I will do.

[A light sigh, Raidou's eyes move to Choso now, even if the rest of his head doesn't. Really, deep down Raidou already knew the answer to his question, because what can anyone really do in this situation? What he really needed was someone to talk to about this, because he doesn't know how to do that, doesn't know who to go to. Summoners are to stand on their own.]

Whatever happened, he blames himself. I can't begin to fathom what the situation he was facing was like, but I can believe that... that he did everything he could to help everyone the best he could.

[gimu]

Therein lies the root of his agony: he did his best, but the disaster still claimed those lives despite his efforts. His faith has been shaken.

[ an agony that echoes through his's blood like a sonar ping, each throb of yuji's strained heart like a phantom ache in choso's own. ]

I have thought of how to lessen the burden on his heart. [ a beat. ] But it remains a work in progress. Until then, your efforts will be instrumental in helping him, I do not doubt.

For that, I thank you, Raidou.

[the_fourteenth]

[A relatable feeling. What can you say, what can you do when your best wasn't good enough? There's very little that can comfort you.

After a moment, Raidou decides to sit down. Stock straight, looking away again, one hand lightly wringing the fingers of the other.]

No need for thanks. I... [He frowns, thinking, unable to place nor articulate how he felt seeing Yuji that way. Frankly, he was scared as well as angry, the latter being something he's not felt in a very, very long time.

He hesitates, because Raidou knows that people can come from all different times, and he doesn't want to say anything out of line, something maybe Choso doesn't and shouldn't know. But as Yuji's brother, he hopes Choso knows enough.]

I don't know many details at all about your world, but Yuji did mention to me about Sukuna, about Shibuya... I couldn't imagine how it could have gotten so much worse. I'm sorry to hear it. I asked him that when he's ready, maybe he can give me the whole story, from the beginning.

[gimu]

[ shibuya. choso had never asked, had almost been afraid to ask all this time, had avoided it until he had-- ha, until he'd forgotten. he'd allowed this new rhythm of life and purpose pull his head up and away from the past and the carnage strewn in his wake, let himself put it out of his mind for a fleeting, precious little while and the simple reality of this is like a slap to the face.

struck stupid as choso may have been at the time it happened, he still remembers the sickening surge of power that came with Sukuna opening His eyes.

how could it have gotten so much worse? he doesn't have to think hard to find the guilty parties.]

Sukuna. Nothing brings misery more wholly, more totally than the King of Curses. He has inflicted much on Yuji in the time he's been 'away'. [ overnight, how fucking horrible. an unknowable stretch of time, condensed into one horrible half a night's worth of sleep. ]

[the_fourteenth]

[Raidou looks up when the words King of Curses is spoken, because that's not a detail he had previously.]

King... Is he really that powerful? [No wonder Yuji couldn't control him. No one could be blamed for that.

There is at least one bit of relief in all of this. Raidou attempts to relax in his chair a bit, but he's not very successful.]

But here, he's not, ah, possessed, yes? [Is that the correct term?] Life here may not be easy, but... it is life, and I'm glad for that not just for my sake, but for everyone else. For people like Yuji.

[gimu]

Sukuna’s strength beggars belief. [ choso has never laid eyes on the great king himself, but what he felt that day echoes still like the aftershocks of some vast, immeasurable disaster. ]

Here or there, Yuji is no longer plagued by that presence now. Whatever happened, it transferred Sukuna from him to another.

[the_fourteenth]

Does it seem like it's at all possible to stop him?

[Because this situation sounded at all hopeless. And Sukuna taking another host? It doesn't sound like Choso has many details with how he said "whatever happened", so Raidou feels a little silly even asking.]

...You don't have to answer that. I'm... probably better off not knowing, even if you do.

[Another anxiety has been chipping away at Raidou the last few weeks, and it comes to mind whenever Raidou thinks about Yuji's situation at home, but his own.]

LILITH has said... Ah, have you known anyone Outsiders who have vanished yet? Gone from not just the base, but the network, everything.

[Probably not, since Choso was still knew, but Raidou knew at least two. He misses his chess partner and his sparring partner.]

They weren't very forthcoming with information, but they said that people can... glitch, was the word. Sent back where they came from safely, so they tell me. [The skeptic tone to that sentence tells Choso how much he believes that.] I wonder if Yuji experienced the same sort of glitch. It seems it could happen to anyone.