[He naturally would assume in a bad way. It must be an instinctual response for most at this point. The Red Gaze, more phenomenon than man. A force not to be trifled with. But Malkuth, well, Malkuth has always looked into his eyes.]
[When a monster becomes a man in someone's eyes is when they're at their weakest, he thinks. Not that's in a bad way.]
[She pulls up more, and his eyebrows tilt. She didn't exactly answer the question. But she's not pulling away - is that enough? He doesn't know. But when she puts the question right back to him, those same eyebrows knit together.]
[He wants to say so much, like kneejerk reflexes.]
[I'm someone who should be punished for his sins.]
[In the end, I'll lose you. I will always lose that what I love.]
[Kaito wants you. Is this not also unfair to him?]
[I am too selfish. What a wretched soul I am.]
[But as much as he wants to say it all, he makes a conscious effort to pull it back. These layers of excuses, like dried blood. He can't make the same mistake as before. He beats them down like he would the monsters of the City, in waves - because as much as he's seen things now from a new perspective, it's hard. It's the hardest thing in the world. He's been in the pit for so long that he convinced himself that's how it always was, and always should be.]
[But for her, he has to try. He has to wash to the core of it all, and offer it to her with a shaking hand. Even if it may kill him to do it.]
[His voice cracks. He focuses on this warmth against his face, and relaxes into it, his own heart fluttering like a restless, needy thing.]
no subject
[He naturally would assume in a bad way. It must be an instinctual response for most at this point. The Red Gaze, more phenomenon than man. A force not to be trifled with. But Malkuth, well, Malkuth has always looked into his eyes.]
[When a monster becomes a man in someone's eyes is when they're at their weakest, he thinks. Not that's in a bad way.]
[She pulls up more, and his eyebrows tilt. She didn't exactly answer the question. But she's not pulling away - is that enough? He doesn't know. But when she puts the question right back to him, those same eyebrows knit together.]
[He wants to say so much, like kneejerk reflexes.]
[I'm someone who should be punished for his sins.]
[In the end, I'll lose you. I will always lose that what I love.]
[Kaito wants you. Is this not also unfair to him?]
[I am too selfish. What a wretched soul I am.]
[But as much as he wants to say it all, he makes a conscious effort to pull it back. These layers of excuses, like dried blood. He can't make the same mistake as before. He beats them down like he would the monsters of the City, in waves - because as much as he's seen things now from a new perspective, it's hard. It's the hardest thing in the world. He's been in the pit for so long that he convinced himself that's how it always was, and always should be.]
[But for her, he has to try. He has to wash to the core of it all, and offer it to her with a shaking hand. Even if it may kill him to do it.]
[His voice cracks. He focuses on this warmth against his face, and relaxes into it, his own heart fluttering like a restless, needy thing.]
Yes. [He's quiet, so quiet.] I want you, Malkuth.