[ better than apathy, better than emptiness. her heart pangs terribly at the mention of both, because that's exactly the last thing elijah remembered about that man -- how she had pleaded, how he had ignored, how she had died at his heels.

if someone doesn't look back towards you, what does that mean? a rhetorical question. answered soon after. that they don't acknowledge you. that they don't even care about the expression you may be making.

that they feel no need to see what you're doing, as they've already come to a conclusion.

does she regret it? loving someone who wouldn't love her back?

... ]

It was a very valuable experience, [ she says with a small, painful smile. ] And I can't thank him enough for it. I wouldn't want to repeat it, but I don't regret having the chance to love someone in the first place. It's a rare thing to have the space for in my world, so I cherish them greatly -- my foolish feelings.

[ it was bittersweet. it didn't end well, and it never would have. the what-ifs of things going well for the group in general crowds her mind and she wonders if elijah's heart would have stayed course or strayed, if it would have strengthened or waned. ]

I just regret not telling him how I felt when I had the time to, really.