he's not unlike other Fixers she's known, fought and fought beside. the weight of a word is nothing to the weight of an action. they may not be entirely quick to judge, they are quick to rescind trust when broken; they might have gotten lucky the first time, but the second? the third? the more chances they give someone, the more lenient they are, the more likely it is that they'll end up worse off.
even all the poetic he's spoken to her, about her, wouldn't change that. malkuth's face turns down to their hands and she shakes her head. ]
I don't know. I don't want you to hate me, but being able to accept what I've done, the people whose lives and loves that I've taken not even with the Library, but working at L Corp. itself, because it didn't happen to yours... is how we still have the cycle we work under today.
[ softer: ]
It's unacceptable. At least acknowledge that, if you won't judge me -- if you can't, because you don't view yourself any differently. Remembering them doesn't bring them back, it only keeps them alive a little longer; that's the weight I carry, I choose not to forget that, I choose to commit the lives I've taken to heart even if that means nothing to the people I hurt, even if it won't ever be enough to satisfy them.
... I won't judge the person you are, but I acknowledge that even if it's to live, what you and the other Fixers do shouldn't be normal or celebrated. It's unacceptable, and it needs to change. No one should need to die for the sake of another's goals, be it to live a better life, to fix what's broken... or to find a lost son.
[ though
the purple tear needs to accept the possibility she might never find him too, and try to live on from that point instead. malkuth isn't the kind of person who gives up either though. ]
no subject
he's not unlike other Fixers she's known, fought and fought beside. the weight of a word is nothing to the weight of an action. they may not be entirely quick to judge, they are quick to rescind trust when broken; they might have gotten lucky the first time, but the second? the third? the more chances they give someone, the more lenient they are, the more likely it is that they'll end up worse off.
even all the poetic he's spoken to her, about her, wouldn't change that. malkuth's face turns down to their hands and she shakes her head. ]
I don't know. I don't want you to hate me, but being able to accept what I've done, the people whose lives and loves that I've taken not even with the Library, but working at L Corp. itself, because it didn't happen to yours... is how we still have the cycle we work under today.
[ softer: ]
It's unacceptable. At least acknowledge that, if you won't judge me -- if you can't, because you don't view yourself any differently. Remembering them doesn't bring them back, it only keeps them alive a little longer; that's the weight I carry, I choose not to forget that, I choose to commit the lives I've taken to heart even if that means nothing to the people I hurt, even if it won't ever be enough to satisfy them.
... I won't judge the person you are, but I acknowledge that even if it's to live, what you and the other Fixers do shouldn't be normal or celebrated. It's unacceptable, and it needs to change. No one should need to die for the sake of another's goals, be it to live a better life, to fix what's broken... or to find a lost son.
[ though
the purple tear needs to accept the possibility she might never find him too, and try to live on from that point instead. malkuth isn't the kind of person who gives up either though. ]