( to say that being kissed first in this situation, with her weight balanced on top of him, was surprising, would be an understatement. the sort of kiss one does to catch attention rather than make someone whole, and izou feels it on his teeth as they draw apart. feels something scratch in his throat for how, in realization, he's just pushing her the wrong way again—making a stupid assumption while she's upset.
but what makes his brow furrow more than that, is hearing that she needs a moment to cry.
over him, of all people, and of course she would given everything, but. any tension that had built up in him from their current exchange flat-out melts away.
if his heart had tipped out of his chest before, had torn at the seams over her abundance of kindness and concern, now a piece of it chipped at the thought of her in this world that she'd made for herself, this wall of pictures and memories, crying alone. he'd never considered anyone ever being so upset over him that they'd cry. who had ever? who would ever? not his family, to his knowledge, even as he walked homeless on the streets and even as they tried to push his little brother to poison him. not takechi-sensei, who met izou's grin upon his first kill with a straight face. not even...
but here, there was march. someone still so wholly new to him, so bubbly and feisty and willing to share her insecurities with him. who'd pushed his boundaries from day one, and had been so inviting. and now, he... why does it feel like he's falling for her even more, his chest seizing over the barest gap between them on this bed?
izou takes a couple seconds to rapidly collect his thoughts when it comes to that, "okay", because all he wants to do now is... comfort her somehow. hold her, but a hand that rises up from the pink of her bed can only freeze in mid-air. his fingers curl inward, back to rest on the bed instead of at her back. )
I... I hear you. I'll do it, after that. Leave, I mean.
( there's an unfamiliar timbre to his usual rasp, and that shocks him, too. )
... M'sorry. It prob'ly doesn't help to hear it, now, that I never wanted to... make you cry. Not when I keep telling you I won't let a soul hurt you. ( a grimace, as he finally breaks their mutual gaze to flick that one eye to the floor, and then back up. ) ... Maybe I should've told myself that. Will you let me... tell you a little else, before we're through? If you want me to just keep quiet, though, I can do that. I owe you that much... a hell of a lot more than that, even.
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but what makes his brow furrow more than that, is hearing that she needs a moment to cry.
over him, of all people, and of course she would given everything, but. any tension that had built up in him from their current exchange flat-out melts away.
if his heart had tipped out of his chest before, had torn at the seams over her abundance of kindness and concern, now a piece of it chipped at the thought of her in this world that she'd made for herself, this wall of pictures and memories, crying alone. he'd never considered anyone ever being so upset over him that they'd cry. who had ever? who would ever? not his family, to his knowledge, even as he walked homeless on the streets and even as they tried to push his little brother to poison him. not takechi-sensei, who met izou's grin upon his first kill with a straight face. not even...
but here, there was march. someone still so wholly new to him, so bubbly and feisty and willing to share her insecurities with him. who'd pushed his boundaries from day one, and had been so inviting. and now, he... why does it feel like he's falling for her even more, his chest seizing over the barest gap between them on this bed?
izou takes a couple seconds to rapidly collect his thoughts when it comes to that, "okay", because all he wants to do now is... comfort her somehow. hold her, but a hand that rises up from the pink of her bed can only freeze in mid-air. his fingers curl inward, back to rest on the bed instead of at her back. )
I... I hear you. I'll do it, after that. Leave, I mean.
( there's an unfamiliar timbre to his usual rasp, and that shocks him, too. )
... M'sorry. It prob'ly doesn't help to hear it, now, that I never wanted to... make you cry. Not when I keep telling you I won't let a soul hurt you. ( a grimace, as he finally breaks their mutual gaze to flick that one eye to the floor, and then back up. ) ... Maybe I should've told myself that. Will you let me... tell you a little else, before we're through? If you want me to just keep quiet, though, I can do that. I owe you that much... a hell of a lot more than that, even.