What the hell is this...?

[Johnny lets out a sigh of despair as he gets a good look at the crowd. This is lame. Lame as hell. This is arguably the wackiest shit he's ever seen in his life, and he played at some of the roughest clubs in Night City; honorable mention to The Red Dirt for keeping it real for the past forty years.

Whatever excitement Johnny had at potentially crashing this little lovefest of a party vanishes once he realizes this is just a glorified shag shack with crappy lighting. He was just about to leave until the awful synthesized music reached his ears.

‘…They call this music?’

He stares at the DJ up on the stage with a look of sheer disgust. Of course, the disc jockey can’t hear his mental anguish but before Johnny knew it, he’s shoving folks out the way as he barrages towards the stage like a man on a mission.]

Out of the fuckin’ way!

[He throws the DJ out of his way and shuts down the turntables by slamming his guitar case down, probably wrecking at least 300,000¥ worth of equipment. Johnny hastily opens the case revealing his black guitar and jacks into the sound system with a few cords. It takes a moment but eventually Johnny gets everything set up, and grabs the mic.]

Good evening, Tokyo! [He calls out towards the confused masses.]

Ready to party like it’s 2023?

[When it comes down to songs he could play, SAMURAI has a fairly small catalogue of platinum hits. However, the song he picks starts off with a lyrical solo perfect for a one man performance such as this. It’s such a crying shame that the others aren’t here. Nancy used to sing backup on this part while Kerry handled the bass. While it will be nearly impossible to match the quality of the original song, Johnny plans on at least keeping it interesting.]

Okay, so…where do we start?

[Speed dating was never really Johnny’s thing. Then again, dating in general wasn’t really Johnny’s thing. As a former rockstar, Johnny often lives life on the fast lanes, meaning he doesn’t get caught up in long winded relationships. While he certainly dated Alt for a time, he and his on-and-off-again girlfriend were always taking breaks or cussing each other out. Then there was his whole bisexual exploration through Kerry that opened up a can of worms.

So yeah, Johnny doesn’t know the first fucking thing about dating. That’s why he’s just staring at his new date like they grown a second head.]

Sorry if my voice is a little hoarse. I’m still on the mend after that…well, hm. Performance.

[He grumbles after taking a swig of whiskey. If Johnny is going to survive speed dating, he’s going to need some liquid courage.]

Have an icebreaker in mind? Or are you just dull?

[Sorry, this gonk lacks manners sometimes.]

(Got something else in mind? Feel free to send me a DM or contact me at devillady)