zauneyete: (Can I convince you?)
𝗦𝗢𝗹𝗰𝗼 ([personal profile] zauneyete) wrote in [community profile] synflux 2025-04-15 07:49 am (UTC)

[ he hates not knowing.

He hates it because he can see something in her face that makes him think of guilt, and shame. Like those early days, when the high of invention always came with that crushing screaming and crying. Silco hearing exactly known what to do, what was right to do, and Jinx had been so difficult, and so upset, all of the time.

Sometimes, he wondered if she hated him, for killing her other father β€” for making the circumstances to kill him, perhaps β€” if she blamed him for the deaths of her temporary siblings.

It was only long after that he realized that it was something different. That she still blamed herself. Does she blame herself for whatever happened to him, too?

He reaches out, to brush her tear away. He doesn't look away from her.
]

Come now. Give me a little bit more credit than that. [ A beat. ]

You were always worth everything I could give you. [ How could she know? That he'd flayed his soul β€” something he hadn't even believed in β€” and had given everything for her. Everything. He made so many enemies, had been so willing to alternate nearly everyone that the only people left in the end had been... The god of war and a god of conflict, before arriving here. How fitting. He would have fought tooth and nail for it, to see her alive. He'd done everything he could. And now here she was.

He'd been mad with grief then. He knows it for what it is. Completely, and utterly mad. How was it he'd come out of that so broken, and shattered, and can given everything he could ever want? When asked to have a Zaun without her, he decided to save his entire world, her. The rest of it could be kindling for the cosmic fire. The rest of it had never mattered, in the end.
]

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