synflux | i bet you think about me ( closed )

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i bet you think about me ( closed )

WHO: Aki and Yuwon
WHAT: Drinking as an apology
WHERE: The nearest (and cheapest) bar
WHEN: Early March(ish); after Denji's canon update
WARNINGS: Men drinking alcohol, Chainsaw Man manga spoilers

[ It's mid-afternoon when Yuwon receives a message from Aki: Bar. 8pm. I owe you a drink.

He's not one to go back on his word, after all.

After the last mission - one that had gone surprisingly well, considering how uncomfortable his new arm had felt - Aki had slipped into something that felt like a daze. Denji had come back from seeing into the future, and Aki had the weight of all this new knowledge baring down on him, oppressive and dangerous for him to struggle through. He doesn't think that he should be shocked to hear that he's going to die, since he knew that his life was on a timer, since he knew from the Future Devil that his ending would be a poor one, but for it to come so soon....

He had left Denji alone, despite how much he had wanted otherwise. He had been willing to give up everything to stay with him and Power, and none of it mattered. Nothing he did mattered now, because when he goes back... It's all over.

It's what brings him here, leaning against the wall of the bar, a cigarette held up near his mouth, breathing in and out. The habit has become worse lately, making him need them all the more, craving the way it soothes him in an old, achingly familiar way, and as he flicks the ash off the end he breathes out a small cloud of smoke.

At the end of the day, it's a little pathetic, isn't it? He owes Yuwon, but he's using this for his own means. He doesn't think the other guy will care, though. ]

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[ in a case like this, he doesn't know if comprehending your fate is a blessing or a curse. though, for what it was worth, from what he could comprehend from aki's expression and behaviors, he appeared to lament less about his own life ending than about the implications of what his departure meant. though, as for the details, he can only do vague guesswork. he didn't exactly like to pry, but almost contrary to that, he did tend to be blunt and ask things straightforwardly.

it's why he didn't exactly expect aki to produce a response to his question. ]

It may be worth looking into. [ is all he says on the subject. he didn't want to speculate on something that could have been perceived as impossible. that said: ] I don't think anyone but they know what they intend to do with us.

[ he finishes his own drink off, idly taking another bite of food, before reaching over and placing in another order idly. he taps his finger on the screen a few times before turning back to aki. ] You may as well search for your own solution. I knew someone who stated they were brought back from the brink of death. [ a pause. ] I also had certain abilities before coming here... [ except, he decides not to get too into that.

the point was it wasn't entirely impossible. but, his tone is devoid of anything even remotely hopeful. ]

[ Aki is finding that he doesn't... Mind. Talking about this kind of thing should be harder, more difficult, but for the kind of the person that he is - he always knew his death would come in a way that would be uncomfortable and unpleasant, always knew that he would have to pay the toll for his use of the Curse Devil blade sooner rather than later. Each time he used it his life was stripped of him, and that meant that he was prepared to go sooner than anyone else.

He wishes it had been different, though. He wishes, desperately, that he had been able to do something more for Denji, had been able to make him happier, with the time that they had. Hearing about the horrors that his - friend had faced in the time since Aki has gone...

Undeniably, he hates himself for not being there, not to protect him, but to help him. To be there at his side, to show him how cherished he still is. Aki's depth of love for Denji is incomparable to anything else in his life, but he doesn't know how to say it properly.

Another drink. It makes life easier. ]

I don't know how much interaction I want to have with them. [ Leaning back, he frowns. ] I was brought here from the moment everything changed for me. I know that I am lucky, to be mostly whole [ little flex of his metal arm, haha ] but that doesn't mean I appreciate being... Played around with like this.

[ But what choice does he have? ]

I'll ask. Maybe they'll save me.

[ played around with. it's not exactly wrong. he supposes being brought here, being told that it was a separate reality, or whatever else— it was already relatively difficult to swallow down. (don't test me on this synfluyx lore, i forget everything, don't come after me). that paired with finding out your fate from those around you. obviously, he doesn't think to the actual logistics of it, if just for the fact that it'd be way to convoluted and built up entirely on speculation, but it's clear that it was just a lot.

on anyone, but especially on someone who seemed to have a lot to leave behind. he supposes he'd believe a similar thing of himself if he were in the same position. except, his was more about his objectives than any specific person he leaves behind. but, he wasn't here to discuss himself or what he would do.

"maybe they'll save me." he's never heard anyone be so casual about their own life. ] If they're using you, you just need to use them. [ isn't that all it is? but, who knows if they even have that ability. ]

Is the future something that can't be changed in your world? I mean, is the Future Devil always right?

[ Does Aki think he would prefer not to have known? No, he doesn't think so: it explains too much for him to be able to wish it was otherwise. He understands why Denji wants him to stay away from Makima, the chill of fear he feels when their eyes meet, or he sees her name, the inexplicable feeling of ominous danger... It's because his life is going to be ripped from him, and he has to deal with that, somehow.

Leaning back, Aki rubs at his face absently. He's tired, he's so tired, but it's not as if he can just stop. It's not as if he can abandon Denji a second time, be the cause of more hurt and pain for what little family he has left... Shaking his head, he leans back in his chair. He wants another cigarette, damn. ]

Maybe. If I can find a way to ensure that I can do that without risking anything.

[ And then, his lips twitch a little, hand waving. ]

He's always right. The Future Rules, after all... He's never wrong. That's his role.

[ without risking anything.

before he knows it, his mouth is opening for a simple rebuttal— ] Is anything without risk? [ he would argue the higher the stakes, the higher the reward. it's not just a principle where he's come from, either. in the same way that they could potentially be burned for whatever sliver of trust they place in LILITH. though, they could also receive an equal amount. even strength could be gifted in a sense... aki's arm was a clear indicator of that.

but, he's not criticizing aki, either. but, maybe, it's his own way of casting out that cautionary sign. ]

That sounds like a shitty saying. [ "the future rules" sounds like a cult thing...

he reaches out, giving aki a squeeze on the shoulder. albeit, it's a bit rough. it's not like he was trying to comfort him or anything, but well... in this moment they shared, maybe it just felt familiar, that's all. ]

There's risk, and then there's risk.

[ Aki is more than willing to risk himself, or he was, once upon a time. Before Denji and Power, his life was a series of exchanges, blood and flesh and life force itself in order to get what he wants. Now that he's got cold feet, now that vengeance has fallen away and all he has is the family he claimed as his own... The things he's willing to risk and give up are falling short.

It's embarrassing, how much he cares, how much he wants to cherish Denji and show his life. Mortifying.

Rubbing his face, he huffs a little laugh, a low chuckle. A rare gift. ]

That's because it's a shitty devil.

[ Fuck the Future Devil, honestly.

The squeeze is... Nice, and Aki lifts a hand, patting Yuwon's hand absently. ]

Thanks for listening.

Sure. [ it's not sarcasm, despite it definitely appearing like it on paper. his lack of any real tone to his voice also probably doesn't help in projecting this point, but he really did think it was completely reasonable. who wouldn't curb whatever risks they could.

when aki rubs his face, yuwon seems to look at him, the corner of his lips curling upwards in amusement. it kind of reminds him of a cat or something, but of course, he doesn't exactly voice this out loud. thankfully, it could also be seen as an equally quiet huff of a laugh in return. ]

No problem. [ normally, he would have leveraged this into another favor, but for once, yuwon decides against it. instead, he cuts aki some slack. sort of. ] I also feel like I saw something good.

[ ???

that said, he looks aki over quickly. ] You going to be okay going back to base?

Hm?

[ Aki blinks at him absently, before... Yeah, okay, right. He's had a few beers. It's probably...

He waves his hand absently. ]

It'll be fine, Yuwon-san. I'll be able to get back without a problem.

[ despite his words, there is clear disbelief that colors his features.

there's a brief touch of a sigh. ] Your face already looks a little red. [ he says this, but he is actually just saying it to say it. he figures if the threshold of his drinking is enough to loosen his lips, well, he has zero faith in aki getting back on his own two feet.

but, he guesses it wasn't his business either. that said, he still reaches over to aki's half-finished drink and gulps the rest of it down. ] I'll cut you off here and you can thank me later.

[ Don't look at him like that. ]

I can handle a few drinks.

[ Though he is scowling a little at Yuwon, wondering why that guy isn't as flushed as he is. Hasn't he been drinking too...? Damn, just like Makima-san...

Leaning back, he rubs his face. ]

I'm fine.

Can you? Then maybe you need to change your definition of "handle."

[ he releases a quiet huff, just barely audible before he places a hand on the top of his head. it's belated, but he realizes only now... was his hair different? that said, ] Let's go. [ he's not sure why he gets a bad feeling about leaving him to his own devices...

but, he supposes if he still says no, then there's nothing much he can do. ]

I've drunk more than this before.

[ He's not passed out on the table at least... Aki sighs a little, lifting his hand to rub at his eyes. He is tired, but... But...

Shaking his head, he lets himself stand, Yuwon's the boss now. ]

Let's go.

It doesn't mean you need to break your own record.

[ when being passed out is the standard...

in a sense, he supposes he should be grateful not to be affected by alcohol in the same way. he seems to eye aki, making sure he's actually following and he's actually stable. if he's not, he goes grab him firmly by the forearm. it's not like he wants to see a guy who just ... poured his secrets out laying on the streets of neo tokyo. ]

It's not even close.

[ Hasn't he earned the right to be a little bit wasted after all of this?

Letting himself be dragged is easier than arguing, though, and he lets himself trail after Yuwon with a sigh. ]

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