WHO: Yuji Itadori & various ( closed and open prompts ) WHAT: Yuji has Canon Updated. It isn't going well. WHERE: Across the base WHEN: March 21 onwards WARNINGS: Jujutsu Kaisen spoilers up to chapter 248.
[ The day after Yuji's birthday, he seems to disappear from the base.
He's still around - his name and details are still active, he can be messaged, so he's not gone - but his usual presence disappears. He's not in the cafeteria for regular meals, he's not in the training areas, he can't be found in the kitchen. For all intents and purposes, it seems as though he stopped existing in Synflux completely. Even messages sent to him between the 21st and 22nd don't seem to get answered.
If you knock on his door loudly enough, he might appear, but for most people... He's just 'gone'.
Eventually, he seems to drag himself out of whatever disappearing act he'd put on and start to appear in small doses. Breakfast one day, but no other meals - lunch the next. His usual bubbly attitude has been quashed for now, and while he might greet people he recognises with a smile, his heart clearly isn't in it. Something has happened, and it has left him shaken, wounded - hurting.
In the evening, the quiet hours of the day, he's sat outside staring at the stars, a set, determined look on his face. He barely flinches if anyone comes to sit down beside him. The more perceptive of people - especially those who knew him Before - might see he has a handful more scars. ]
[ There's something—different about Yuji these days. Not that Wriothesley would consider himself any sort of expert on the boy, but they've worked alongside each other long enough that he thinkshe's gotten a good enough sense of the boy, a young man full of heart and energy. The boy that walks through the hallways now is....well, not that.
But they're not close enough that he can just up and ask what happened, and so he keeps his distance for a few days until he spots Yuji hunkered down outside and finally decides to head over. ]
Long day?
[ It's not so much a real question as it is a cautious hello, a veiled inquiry as to whether his presence here is allowed or not. ]
[ Yuji doesn't jump when Wriothesley comes and sits beside him; he felt him coming, more in tune with his understanding of people and the prickle of his senses than he might have been before. Turning his head, he deliberately shifts to tuck his hands away, the longer sleeves of his hoodie hiding them from view - an intentional movement, a disguise.
It's painfully obvious how tired he is, exhausted and feeling weak from his new experiences, and he has to force himself to nod his head before he turns back to look at the stars. It's going to take some time for him to back to his bubbly self, isn't it? ]
[ Of the answers he expects that isn't one, and he blinks once in surprise before taking a seat next to Yuji a few feet away. Far enough to give the young man some space but still close enough to hear what's being said.
Also close enough to see the exhaustion still on Yuji's face, another small detail that makes his heart sink further. ]
Huh. Didn't know that was possible.
[ It doesn't sound like it had been planned either, or surely Yuji would have said something about it earlier. The mystery deepens.... ]
I take it you didn't have a good time while you were home?
[It's not the day that he's gone that Bakugo misses. He doesn't see Yuji every day for one reason or another. But it's the next time he sees him that the hero realizes something happened. His eyes, his attitude, additional scars on his face, and the damn forced empty smile that he's seen on a certain someone's face more times than he wants to count. The walking embodiment of that fucking "I'm fine" that anyone sharp enough or close enough would realize is a shitty cover to mean anything but.
But despite the flare up of defensive anger, Bakugo keeps his distance. Mostly out of respect for Yuji's companions. Whatever happened to him, they would know first and want to talk to him, help him, console him. Megumi, Nobara, Nanami, Choso. Gojo. People from his world. Bakugo has loyalties to people, but in the end, he still considers people from your world, my world, their world, our world. Because he doesn't want to view this place as a permanent home. There's still so much to do back home...
Distance only lasts so long though. Despite his attitude, Bakugo's a hero with a heart. And... Yuji's friend. Seeing him missing meals, his sunshine attitude darkened, his "new" smile... It's uncomfortable for the few days it goes on. So this night, he goes to him, though has to search from the empty dorm room to finally locate Yuji outside.
Shoes on the grass, a quiet approach with his hands in his pockets, before Bakugo takes a seat next to the sorcerer. Spring still brings a chill in the air at night, the darkening purple sky above still reaching for pink towards the horizon and that fiery glow of red orange left behind by the setting sun.
Silent as he watches the skyline... before finally reaching to the side and offering his hand to the other boy to take if he wants.]
[ Yuji hadn't thought to seek out Bakugo, because it hadn't registered in his mind to sink into this particular friend with all the strange new grief he's feeling.
Bakugo is the kind of person he spends time with for fun, for sparring, for sharp words but soft moments, a tenderness that's bled between them because they understand one another. Yuji hadn't thought to burden him with this, because it didn't feel right to, not because their bond wasn't secure, but because it didn't seem fair. Why should Bakugo have to suffer just because he had? Why did his friends have to be dragged down to his level?
Feeling the other boy come and sit beside him, though, softens him just a little, the edges of his sharp pain sandpapered away. He could've been wrong, could've been too deep in his own shallow hurt, so stupid with it, but his friend is here all the same. He has no idea how he was lucky enough to earn this, how he got so lucky that he has friends who want to take care of him and help him - at his own pace.
That's a morbid relief.
Bakugo offers his hand, and Yuji hesitates, if only because his fingers are misshapen now, pinker, with claws on the end. Not human; different, Sukuna gone but something in its place. Choking back his tears, he wraps his fingers around Bakugo's and squeezes gently, letting himself take that comfort, to let himself have this moment even if, in the future, he might feel guilty for it. ]
[Because they're friends. This isn't dragging anyone down to a level that's too low for them. Bakugo remembers Midoriya out in the rain, tired, hurt, running on fumes, and still so damn determined to shoulder everything on his own. Because his friends couldn't keep up with him, because he had to keep them at arm's length lest he drag them down with him, because only he deserved this pain. Every single one of those 19 students, his classmates, his friends, came to get him that day because of a simple fact:
We're your friends.
Grief. Pain. Burden. Destiny. Future. Villain. Hero. Hope. Hunger. Rest. Victory. Defeat. And so many more words that they were willing to take on along side Midoriya to make sure he could walk the path he chose. A path similar to Yuji's. Bakugo himself told his childhood friend that his path wasn't wrong. Only the belief that he had to walk it alone. He doesn't know the details of Yuji's path, what's knocked him down and torn him up, but he knows the sorcerer's on the right path. Just that he need not do it all by himself.
A concept Bakugo's not the greatest at following himself... but he's improving.
As those misshapen fingers curl around his own, claws touching his skin, inhuman and different, Bakugo closes his hand around Yuji's in a warm, secure grip. It's not dragging down; it's reaching out and holding on. Of course he wants to know, of course he wants to beat the ever-living shit out of the shadows plaguing Yuji's life and mind and heart. But that's Yuji's call. What he can do is be here for him, whenever and however he needs.]
Hey, Gari Head. [A while. Yeah, a few days, but that's... not what happened, is it.] I'm glad to see you.
[ The first thing that Yuji feels when he wakes up is agony - pure agony.
Not the physical kind, there are no wounds on his body, no aches or paints that have him shaking or needing to go to the medical centre, but a deep well of emotional hurt that has his eyes immediately welling up with tears. He had gone to bed happy enough, content with the joy that came hand in hand with his birthday the previous day. His throat feels tight, panic thrumming through him, and he wheezes a little as he sits up. He doesn't even notice that he seems to shake the weight of his brother beside him, pushing the palm of his hands into his eyes.
The tears keep coming, but he can't breathe. It feels like someone is pressing down on him, kneeling on his chest, and he can't stop himself from making a pained, whimpering sound.
Slowly, slowly, he sinks down into the bed, the sobs coming as little hiccups, but he doesn't move to try and get closer to Choso. A small part of him thinks that he doesn't deserve that, hasn't earned anything that Choso might give him.
Gojo-sensei... Higuruma-san...
Yuji wails, the sound too loud in the silence of the room. ]
[ choso feels the change before he even wakes; his blood reacts to it before anything else, a hiccup in the pulse, a falling stillness followed by a surge of adrenaline. awareness spreads from his heart outwards, ripples of some fell stone cast into the slow-churning lake of his consciousness growing exponentially so when yuji begins to stir, choso is already halfway to the surface.
he wakes in stages, fingers twitching to breach the placid surface, lashes fluttering to blink away the binds of softly poisonous dreams. choso, he wakes on a murmur, a sleep-soft: ]
Yuji…?
[ -that quickly dissipates as he takes in the rictus of agony that yuji has become. yuji’s weeping has him levering himself up from the fetal curl he had fallen asleep in, hair coming loose from its looser ties to hang in his eyes as he stares into the dim dark.
something cold seizes him from within. ]
Yuji!?
[ sleep is as nothing in the face of the panic that grips choso by the throat. he lurches over, hands darting out, hesitating only for a whisper of a heartbeat this time before he lays hand on yuji, warm palms on his shoulder, on his arm, gripping firm and steady.
be calm, choso. be still, choso. you must be the big brother he needs now.
[ It’s still so hard to breathe, even with the knowledge that Choso is here, with the burst of their relationship solidifying in his mind, weeks together that unfolded in a single night. He was gone for months, but for no time at all. He had something to focus on, a fight to win, and now all that he has is an empty space. The quiet happiness he’d found here is tainted with the new memories, and he doesn’t know how to cope.
Choso’s hands on his shoulders are grounding, but it doesn’t help Yuji calm down immediately. His own hands - claws now, fingers flexing with the strange new shape of them - reach up to grip at his brother’s shirt, twisting the limbs into it in the same way his grief twists his stomach. Megumi… Gojo-sensei… Higuruma-san, Tsumiki-oneechan…
How did he let this happen? How did he fail so impossibly? The Binding Vow, how could he have forgotten?
Shaking his head, all Yuji can do is cry. It reminds him of the moment where Kugisaki and Nanamin had been taken from him, curled up on the ground in Shibuya and sobbing, wishing for death to come to him. Hating himself for his cowardice, his weakness, his inability to save anyone he cared about. It continues, a story with no happy ending other than Yuji Itadori’s death, a fair price to pay to save Megumi.
Slowly, his arms wrap around Choso, desperate, begging, wanting comfort but not feeling deserving. Feeling as though a knife has been shoved into his gut and he’s bleeding his life away through his tears. He wonders if Choso can feel it, if he really is losing blood, or if Choso can sense the change in him.
Yuji tries to speak through his tears but it just seems to make it worse, little desperate gasps coming between each sobs as his lungs cry out for air. ]
I… I went home… It’s awful, Choso - it’s awful - I ruined it all - it’s all my fault!
[ he doesn’t mean it to come out a boom, a roar of a thing, but it bursts out of him anyway, so great is his intensity, his need to drive that simple truth home in a way yuji will hear, will feel. never mind the neighbors, the city, the world.
panic forgotten, choso pulls yuji to his chest, crushes him in close to curl over him, a protective shell against, against what? against the world, against LILITH, against sukuna’s distant gaze? what does choso know? nothing. he knows nothing of what pains yuji, only that his little brother hurts, weeps, laments. knows nothing of the things that await them beyond LILITH’s summons only that his brother bleeds in a way choso cannot hope to heal.
the only thing choso is certain of in this life and the next is yuji’s innocence. ]
You haven’t! What has happened? What did you see?
[ his is one voice against whatever crowd screams in yuji’s skull, but choso pushes each syllable out like he could bull through the throng, his shout against cries innumerable. (against yuji himself) ]
[ After Choso has - at least somewhat - managed to calm Yuji down, he moves like a man on a mission, an intensity that he can't ignore or hide.
He storms out of the Everlight area of the base and over to Revelation, pushing through with his usual, intense speed. It takes him no time at all, and then he's outside Megumi's door, standing there with shaking hands and eyes that feel a little too sore to face his best friend. The last time he had seen Megumi was horrifying, painful, and he doesn't want to think about the burden of the weight of that knowledge.
There's no way he can be the to tell Megumi, and yet...
Resting his hand on the door, he waits for a moment, not sure what to do with himself. He breathes in once, and then out, body shaking as he tries to gather himself back together again. Something inside of him knots, and he blinks back more tears before, finally, he lifts his hand.
The knock is weak, which is weird, comparatively, considering it's Yuji, but he doesn't have the heart for much more than that. ]
[ The cursed energy that's suddenly just outside his door is so strange. It feels familiar but also not, and he can't seem to make out what it is. What he does know is that it doesn't feel like a threat. Before the knock comes, Megumi is already making his way to the door, ready to investigate just what is going on. The knock finally does come, and it sounds hesitant and weak for reasons he cannot explain.
Megumi opens the door and he's surprised to find his best friend on the other end. It hadn't felt like them at all. Yuji's cursed energy is so different.
Also, the scars are nowhere to be seen. ] Yuji ...?
[ The relief he feels when Megumi opens the door is like someone had punched him in the gut; some of the tension sags away and he breathes out. He's deliberately wearing a hoodie with long sleeves to try and hide some of the more obvious changes on his body, but there's no disguising his changed cursed energy and the way he's desperate to find Megumi and make sure he's safe.
No scars. No marks. No Sukuna.
The tension bleeds out further, and he shakes his head. ]
[ Usually, Megumi can sense Sukuna's residual energy, even if he wasn't transported to Neo Tokyo alongside them. It would make up Yuji's cursed energy. Right now, he can't sense any of it at all, and the scars having disappeared only makes it more obvious that the curse is gone from the other boy. That's a good thing, right? Yet, he sounds so desperate for some reason. ]
Yeah? Why ... wouldn't I be?
[ Why????
Megumi takes a few steps back, inviting the other boy to come inside if he wants to. ]
[ It doesn't hit Yuji straight away that Gojo-sensei might know about the things that happened, the things that had been in his 'future', once upon a time.
When he's seen Megumi, when he's allowed himself a little distance from Fushiguro, that's when the knowledge seems to click in his mind. Gojo-sensei had appeared the same here as he had when he had left the Prison Realm, stronger, something heavy on his shoulders that Yuji now recognises. That's when it dawns on him that Gojo-sensei must be from a time in what had been so far away from Yuji, months ahead, the fear and horror of Christmas now burning inside of him.
Gojo-sensei knew, and he had said nothing.
The anger he feels is mixed with the pain of his own understanding, recognising the fact that there was a good reason for a lie but being hurt all the same. Isn't he doing the same with Megumi now? Hiding the truth, because it was too painful to reveal, equally painful to keep it locked away, letting yourself suffer to keep someone else safe... He's well experienced with that, and he tries not to let himself think too much about all the secrets he's keeping.
A little while after his talk with Megumi, Yuji is making his way slowly through the base to the Brimstone area, hoping to avoid Toji-san on the way. When he gets to Gojo's door, he hovers there, lifting his hand and waiting for a moment. It's inevitable that his teacher will have noticed the fact that he's outside.
Eventually, he finally lifts his hand and slams it on the door, hard, hard enough that the frame creaks a little. ]
[ from the moment gojo realized that everyone was spread across differing timepoints, he knew that he couldn't tell anyone the truth — not even nanami. there wasn't a scenario where he would have revealed his fate voluntarily, unless the person in question was already aware of that morbid reality. but the only one who would have known out of their current group is yuji and he— well, he doesn't. so, gojo chose to lie and he hasn't given it another thought since.
honesty is a meaningless thing if it serves no purpose.
sensing yuji long before he stopped outside his door, gojo still waits for his student to knock first — and it's quite the angry knock, isn't it? he swings the door open, a curious smile gracing his features. ] You're gonna break my door, Yuji. [ not that he would care. ] Is something wrong?
[ It's possible that he has no right to be that mad - because he's not exactly going to be sharing the entire truth with everyone here, not if he can help it - but he's a little frustrated. He would have liked to have some kind of idea about what was waiting for him when he gets back, but it's too late for that now. There's nothing he can do about that now, but...
Stepping into the room, he tries to shove Gojo back to get into somewhere a little quieter for him - so that he can be more honest. ]
I went back home, Gojo-sensei... I know what happened.
[ It takes a little while for Yuji to message his friend after he wakes up, slammed with new knowledge that had left him feeling physically sick. He's not prepared to face anyone for a long time, even with the comfort of Choso and his other friends, even with the knowledge that, once again, there's nothing he can do. His entire world had shifted, and the singular mission in his mind - save Megumi, free Fushiguro from that control, to defeat Sukuna.
Nothing else in the world mattered, not during that fight. He remembers that feeling, above anything else.
Waking up back in the City had slammed him with all the developing feelings and thoughts that had been developing here, the reminders of the people he had come to care about, so of course Raidou was near the top of that list. He hadn't been able to face him, not for a little while, trying to muster his confidence and strength to make himself feel as though he was capable of it.
Not because he thinks Raidou will judge him, but because he's judging himself for his failures, for his new features, for the choices he made, the claws on his hands a sickening reminder.
If Raidou knocks, Yuji doesn't get up to answer the door: he said it was open, after all. He's curled up in bed, pillow in his arms, looking haggard and, more importantly, utterly exhausted. ]
[Nothing had been out of the ordinary the day before yesterday. Not seeing Yuji around for a day had been a little odd, but they were both busy people, like everyone in the base. Not only that, he'd been recovering from a case of hanami hay fever, meaning he spent a little more time in his room than usual, resting.
It's not long before there is a soft knock on the door, then it opening just enough for Raidou to take a look in. He's about to greet Yuji when his words stop, seeing him on the bed in such a state, and he takes a step into the room. Did he fall ill as well?]
[ There's a brief surge of panic inside of him when Raidou steps inside, like he's going to be judged, somehow - but they've spoken about things like this before, the sense of duty, the need to do what has to happen, and how they can be themselves here. It doesn't make it easier for him, but it does make him feel a little bit like he might be able to survive this.
Lifting his body up a bit, he rubs at his face before he shakes his head. Admitting that he isn't okay is a big enough step for Yuji, even if he can't go into the details of all the different things he's feeling. Instead, he shuffles over to make space for his friend, hoping that he'll come and sit down - or, better, wrap his arms around him. ]
[ Yuji takes a little longer than he probably should to seek out Nobara, especially compared to how fast he had been to chase her down the first time he'd woken up to realise she was alive and living. He feels a little uncomfortable, a little on edge - what might she say? What will she do, when she sees his new arms, his new scars, the strangeness of it all?
He can already imagine all the questions she's going to ask, and it's a little painful to know he's not sure if he can admit it all. He's not sure if he can confess to her the things he's hiding from Megumi, the burden of knowledge too heavy to bear.
Eventually, he pushes himself out of his own room and makes his way down the hall to hers, hovering at the door for a moment.
It's embarrassing, isn't it? To think that he's so afraid to tell one of his best friends something brutally honest: how much he loathes himself, how much he blames himself for all of the things that happens, how much he longs to be punished for it.
Finally, he lifts his hand and knocks, sombre and quiet. ]
[After the battle, and over the course of the rest of the week, Raidou isn't around too much. His physical wounds had been healed, but it's everything else that's the problem. The LILITH medics told him to take it easy since the rift side effects could last several days, and combined with how he felt about how things went during the battle, a few days to mentally recoup is more than needed.
If Yuji checks up on him during the week, he will still be greeted by Raidou at his door with a smile every time, assuring each time that he's alright. He doesn't want these flares of temper or strange impulsive moments to cause any more problems, so it's a fine enough excuse to stay in and catch up on his studies.
Cabin fever does start to set in after awhile, though, and he's feeling well enough, anyway. On the morning of the 4th, Yuji will get a text.]
Are you free this afternoon? If so, can you meet me outside the base when you are? I have something to show you.
[ Yuji is doing his best not to be overbearing, but it’s hard, especially with how much he cares about Raidou and how close the two of them had come to a point of no return, something he cannot undo. Yuji is far too familiar with death, greeting it like a rival or a nemesis, but he wants to avoid it for as long as possible.
He checks in as often as he dares, offering quiet companionship and tenderness as much as he can, trying to be there for his partner as much as possible, but he doesn’t push. He knows how that feels more than anything and he’s aware of his own folly - he can’t exactly blame Raidou for something he does himself.
The message brightens his day all the same though. ]
[That will give him enough to get out there before Yuji. When he comes outside, Raidou is there, leaned against his motorcycle, holding a spare helmet in his hands.]
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OPEN TO ANYONE.
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But they're not close enough that he can just up and ask what happened, and so he keeps his distance for a few days until he spots Yuji hunkered down outside and finally decides to head over. ]
Long day?
[ It's not so much a real question as it is a cautious hello, a veiled inquiry as to whether his presence here is allowed or not. ]
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It's painfully obvious how tired he is, exhausted and feeling weak from his new experiences, and he has to force himself to nod his head before he turns back to look at the stars. It's going to take some time for him to back to his bubbly self, isn't it? ]
I was sent back home for a while.
[ And it was only overnight here. ]
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Also close enough to see the exhaustion still on Yuji's face, another small detail that makes his heart sink further. ]
Huh. Didn't know that was possible.
[ It doesn't sound like it had been planned either, or surely Yuji would have said something about it earlier. The mystery deepens.... ]
I take it you didn't have a good time while you were home?
[ To put things lightly. ]
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But despite the flare up of defensive anger, Bakugo keeps his distance. Mostly out of respect for Yuji's companions. Whatever happened to him, they would know first and want to talk to him, help him, console him. Megumi, Nobara, Nanami, Choso. Gojo. People from his world. Bakugo has loyalties to people, but in the end, he still considers people from your world, my world, their world, our world. Because he doesn't want to view this place as a permanent home. There's still so much to do back home...
Distance only lasts so long though. Despite his attitude, Bakugo's a hero with a heart. And... Yuji's friend. Seeing him missing meals, his sunshine attitude darkened, his "new" smile... It's uncomfortable for the few days it goes on. So this night, he goes to him, though has to search from the empty dorm room to finally locate Yuji outside.
Shoes on the grass, a quiet approach with his hands in his pockets, before Bakugo takes a seat next to the sorcerer. Spring still brings a chill in the air at night, the darkening purple sky above still reaching for pink towards the horizon and that fiery glow of red orange left behind by the setting sun.
Silent as he watches the skyline... before finally reaching to the side and offering his hand to the other boy to take if he wants.]
I'm here.
[-for whatever you need.]
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Bakugo is the kind of person he spends time with for fun, for sparring, for sharp words but soft moments, a tenderness that's bled between them because they understand one another. Yuji hadn't thought to burden him with this, because it didn't feel right to, not because their bond wasn't secure, but because it didn't seem fair. Why should Bakugo have to suffer just because he had? Why did his friends have to be dragged down to his level?
Feeling the other boy come and sit beside him, though, softens him just a little, the edges of his sharp pain sandpapered away. He could've been wrong, could've been too deep in his own shallow hurt, so stupid with it, but his friend is here all the same. He has no idea how he was lucky enough to earn this, how he got so lucky that he has friends who want to take care of him and help him - at his own pace.
That's a morbid relief.
Bakugo offers his hand, and Yuji hesitates, if only because his fingers are misshapen now, pinker, with claws on the end. Not human; different, Sukuna gone but something in its place. Choking back his tears, he wraps his fingers around Bakugo's and squeezes gently, letting himself take that comfort, to let himself have this moment even if, in the future, he might feel guilty for it. ]
... Hey, dandelion. It's been a while.
[ Not really, but for Yuji... ]
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We're your friends.
Grief. Pain. Burden. Destiny. Future. Villain. Hero. Hope. Hunger. Rest. Victory. Defeat. And so many more words that they were willing to take on along side Midoriya to make sure he could walk the path he chose. A path similar to Yuji's. Bakugo himself told his childhood friend that his path wasn't wrong. Only the belief that he had to walk it alone. He doesn't know the details of Yuji's path, what's knocked him down and torn him up, but he knows the sorcerer's on the right path. Just that he need not do it all by himself.
A concept Bakugo's not the greatest at following himself... but he's improving.
As those misshapen fingers curl around his own, claws touching his skin, inhuman and different, Bakugo closes his hand around Yuji's in a warm, secure grip. It's not dragging down; it's reaching out and holding on. Of course he wants to know, of course he wants to beat the ever-living shit out of the shadows plaguing Yuji's life and mind and heart. But that's Yuji's call. What he can do is be here for him, whenever and however he needs.]
Hey, Gari Head. [A while. Yeah, a few days, but that's... not what happened, is it.] I'm glad to see you.
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@CHOSO.
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he wakes in stages, fingers twitching to breach the placid surface, lashes fluttering to blink away the binds of softly poisonous dreams. choso, he wakes on a murmur, a sleep-soft: ]
Yuji…?
[ -that quickly dissipates as he takes in the rictus of agony that yuji has become. yuji’s weeping has him levering himself up from the fetal curl he had fallen asleep in, hair coming loose from its looser ties to hang in his eyes as he stares into the dim dark.
something cold seizes him from within. ]
Yuji!?
[ sleep is as nothing in the face of the panic that grips choso by the throat. he lurches over, hands darting out, hesitating only for a whisper of a heartbeat this time before he lays hand on yuji, warm palms on his shoulder, on his arm, gripping firm and steady.
be calm, choso. be still, choso. you must be the big brother he needs now.
his voice only shakes a little this time. ]
What happened? Are you hurt?
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Choso’s hands on his shoulders are grounding, but it doesn’t help Yuji calm down immediately. His own hands - claws now, fingers flexing with the strange new shape of them - reach up to grip at his brother’s shirt, twisting the limbs into it in the same way his grief twists his stomach. Megumi… Gojo-sensei… Higuruma-san, Tsumiki-oneechan…
How did he let this happen? How did he fail so impossibly? The Binding Vow, how could he have forgotten?
Shaking his head, all Yuji can do is cry. It reminds him of the moment where Kugisaki and Nanamin had been taken from him, curled up on the ground in Shibuya and sobbing, wishing for death to come to him. Hating himself for his cowardice, his weakness, his inability to save anyone he cared about. It continues, a story with no happy ending other than Yuji Itadori’s death, a fair price to pay to save Megumi.
Slowly, his arms wrap around Choso, desperate, begging, wanting comfort but not feeling deserving. Feeling as though a knife has been shoved into his gut and he’s bleeding his life away through his tears. He wonders if Choso can feel it, if he really is losing blood, or if Choso can sense the change in him.
Yuji tries to speak through his tears but it just seems to make it worse, little desperate gasps coming between each sobs as his lungs cry out for air. ]
I… I went home… It’s awful, Choso - it’s awful - I ruined it all - it’s all my fault!
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[ he doesn’t mean it to come out a boom, a roar of a thing, but it bursts out of him anyway, so great is his intensity, his need to drive that simple truth home in a way yuji will hear, will feel. never mind the neighbors, the city, the world.
panic forgotten, choso pulls yuji to his chest, crushes him in close to curl over him, a protective shell against, against what? against the world, against LILITH, against sukuna’s distant gaze? what does choso know? nothing. he knows nothing of what pains yuji, only that his little brother hurts, weeps, laments. knows nothing of the things that await them beyond LILITH’s summons only that his brother bleeds in a way choso cannot hope to heal.
the only thing choso is certain of in this life and the next is yuji’s innocence. ]
You haven’t! What has happened? What did you see?
[ his is one voice against whatever crowd screams in yuji’s skull, but choso pushes each syllable out like he could bull through the throng, his shout against cries innumerable. (against yuji himself) ]
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@MEGUMI
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Megumi opens the door and he's surprised to find his best friend on the other end. It hadn't felt like them at all. Yuji's cursed energy is so different.
Also, the scars are nowhere to be seen. ] Yuji ...?
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No scars. No marks. No Sukuna.
The tension bleeds out further, and he shakes his head. ]
Are you okay?
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Yeah? Why ... wouldn't I be?
[ Why????
Megumi takes a few steps back, inviting the other boy to come inside if he wants to. ]
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@GOJO
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honesty is a meaningless thing if it serves no purpose.
sensing yuji long before he stopped outside his door, gojo still waits for his student to knock first — and it's quite the angry knock, isn't it? he swings the door open, a curious smile gracing his features. ] You're gonna break my door, Yuji. [ not that he would care. ] Is something wrong?
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[ It's possible that he has no right to be that mad - because he's not exactly going to be sharing the entire truth with everyone here, not if he can help it - but he's a little frustrated. He would have liked to have some kind of idea about what was waiting for him when he gets back, but it's too late for that now. There's nothing he can do about that now, but...
Stepping into the room, he tries to shove Gojo back to get into somewhere a little quieter for him - so that he can be more honest. ]
I went back home, Gojo-sensei... I know what happened.
[ What happened to him. ]
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@RAIDOU
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It's not long before there is a soft knock on the door, then it opening just enough for Raidou to take a look in. He's about to greet Yuji when his words stop, seeing him on the bed in such a state, and he takes a step into the room. Did he fall ill as well?]
-- Yuji, are you alright?
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Lifting his body up a bit, he rubs at his face before he shakes his head. Admitting that he isn't okay is a big enough step for Yuji, even if he can't go into the details of all the different things he's feeling. Instead, he shuffles over to make space for his friend, hoping that he'll come and sit down - or, better, wrap his arms around him. ]
I went home.
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@KUGISAKI
backdated to 04/04
If Yuji checks up on him during the week, he will still be greeted by Raidou at his door with a smile every time, assuring each time that he's alright. He doesn't want these flares of temper or strange impulsive moments to cause any more problems, so it's a fine enough excuse to stay in and catch up on his studies.
Cabin fever does start to set in after awhile, though, and he's feeling well enough, anyway. On the morning of the 4th, Yuji will get a text.]
Are you free this afternoon? If so, can you meet me outside the base when you are? I have something to show you.
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He checks in as often as he dares, offering quiet companionship and tenderness as much as he can, trying to be there for his partner as much as possible, but he doesn’t push. He knows how that feels more than anything and he’s aware of his own folly - he can’t exactly blame Raidou for something he does himself.
The message brightens his day all the same though. ]
i’m good now
shall i come out?
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[That will give him enough to get out there before Yuji. When he comes outside, Raidou is there, leaned against his motorcycle, holding a spare helmet in his hands.]
Hey. Nice day for a ride, don't you think?
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1/2 as he dies
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cw: reference to suicide ideation
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