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I'm fine, I'm fine... I can still move, so I guess I didn't get totally fried.
[but as his appearance suggests, he's absolutely been zapped to some extent; his movement is a little sluggish as he shifts to lay down.]
What even got you? One of the monsters?
[but as his appearance suggests, he's absolutely been zapped to some extent; his movement is a little sluggish as he shifts to lay down.]
What even got you? One of the monsters?
[ ... if only she was stronger, or faster, or-- ]
Yeah, I guess so. I don't... really remember, I've been sorta all over the place. [ trying to protect them. ] They're about as tough as the Ordeals are though, I guess? The Agents really had their work cut out for them, not to mention Gebura and her team...
[ she rubs at her head as she speaks. it's not just the abnormalities giving her a headache, right? maybe it is... the library protected them from a lot after all. or it's the damn lizards. or something. ]
But it's pretty satisfying to take them out once you're in the rhythm of it! Their hides would be great armor.
Yeah, I guess so. I don't... really remember, I've been sorta all over the place. [ trying to protect them. ] They're about as tough as the Ordeals are though, I guess? The Agents really had their work cut out for them, not to mention Gebura and her team...
[ she rubs at her head as she speaks. it's not just the abnormalities giving her a headache, right? maybe it is... the library protected them from a lot after all. or it's the damn lizards. or something. ]
But it's pretty satisfying to take them out once you're in the rhythm of it! Their hides would be great armor.
( he's stumbling on what to say to that, given comfort isn't his specialty in any shape or form.
but... something about malkuth's dismissive explanation clicks, and then he's staring past the rim of his glass, something palpably distant about him despite their closeness. )
More on merit, huh. Doesn't sound half bad to me. All you gotta do is be strong. Wouldn't matter how smart or how handsome you are...
( they'd look at you, and not in that way where surely, you were something discarded and worthless. something trivial.
he slams back the rest of his drink, licking his lips free of any excess. )
but... something about malkuth's dismissive explanation clicks, and then he's staring past the rim of his glass, something palpably distant about him despite their closeness. )
More on merit, huh. Doesn't sound half bad to me. All you gotta do is be strong. Wouldn't matter how smart or how handsome you are...
( they'd look at you, and not in that way where surely, you were something discarded and worthless. something trivial.
he slams back the rest of his drink, licking his lips free of any excess. )
... But don't be fooled into thinking that makes someone irreplaceable, Izou. A life is a life. Just as they're born, they can be taken -- you know that. The same goes for the City.
[ so she says, turning her quite aware gaze to him instead. more on merit is fine. she judges people by that too, more than anything else -- but she doesn't go too far anymore. ]
The moment you can't show the results they want is the moment your life ends. Figuratively, and most of the time literally. It wouldn't be half bad if results weren't the only thing they cared about.
[ the way she'd been no different, as the sephirah of the control team. she recalls the ID numbers of the employees she'd cut down far easier than their names even now, unnecessary in the line of work. ]
[ so she says, turning her quite aware gaze to him instead. more on merit is fine. she judges people by that too, more than anything else -- but she doesn't go too far anymore. ]
The moment you can't show the results they want is the moment your life ends. Figuratively, and most of the time literally. It wouldn't be half bad if results weren't the only thing they cared about.
[ the way she'd been no different, as the sephirah of the control team. she recalls the ID numbers of the employees she'd cut down far easier than their names even now, unnecessary in the line of work. ]
... I wouldn't, given I've been through it.
( it feels natural to follow-up with this, to just tell her, but he can't quite put a finger on why. isn't clever enough to figure out the why, probably, he thinks.
it's best to just do what feels right, even if he feels a tightness in his jaw like it might twist into a scowl depending on her reply. )
Been a long time, but... you could prob'ly still find where they buried me if the country weren't so torn up. But that still ain't right. Results don't mean nothing when people turn on you at the slightest sign of trouble on their end, or even if they don't like ya. When you can't understand why you went from fightin' alongside someone one day to them laughin' at you the next...
( he turns a gyoza idly with his chopsticks, clearly disinterested at this point. )
That's why that merit stuff appeals to me, whether it means losin' your life or not in the end. At least folks will look at ya and recognize your worth.
( it feels natural to follow-up with this, to just tell her, but he can't quite put a finger on why. isn't clever enough to figure out the why, probably, he thinks.
it's best to just do what feels right, even if he feels a tightness in his jaw like it might twist into a scowl depending on her reply. )
Been a long time, but... you could prob'ly still find where they buried me if the country weren't so torn up. But that still ain't right. Results don't mean nothing when people turn on you at the slightest sign of trouble on their end, or even if they don't like ya. When you can't understand why you went from fightin' alongside someone one day to them laughin' at you the next...
( he turns a gyoza idly with his chopsticks, clearly disinterested at this point. )
That's why that merit stuff appeals to me, whether it means losin' your life or not in the end. At least folks will look at ya and recognize your worth.
Edited 2024-04-26 02:12 (UTC)
[ where they buried him, huh...? so he's a part of history here, dead as anyone and yet here alive regardless. LILITH's no different than the City after all, in an odd way, and it's one that makes her give off a short laugh -- before she shakes her head, she knows that can be taken wrong. ]
Sorry, I was just thinking-- that there's more in common between LILITH and the City than I thought. If they could get away with it, they'd be reviving people for their own uses too... at least one Wing got away with it, which I only know because I was one of the people that was.
[ it's a somber thing though, something that is easier for some to talk about than others... it's a fact either way, and malkuth finishes off her drink as she leans back in her seat, hands in her lap as she looks up at the ceiling. ]
... We really aren't so different, [ but it has a far different tone than their first dinner together, where she'd said it lightly about their kill counts and professions that had asked it of them, one that's quieter at its core, ] though it was only after I died that I was of use to anyone. I was a nuisance at best before, and not worth looking back at at worst -- I wasn't hated or loved, there was just... nothing there. I couldn't produce results, and as a person I was nothing but a defect. I was just allowed to stay because I was passionate and in too deep by the end.
[ the memories aren't her own, but they are about her. facts you could find in data entries back at a certain corporation, no different than a history entry containing the name of a certain swordsman sitting in front of her. ]
So I don't have the greatest opinion on it, but I get why someone else would. It feels nice to be seen, doesn't it?
Sorry, I was just thinking-- that there's more in common between LILITH and the City than I thought. If they could get away with it, they'd be reviving people for their own uses too... at least one Wing got away with it, which I only know because I was one of the people that was.
[ it's a somber thing though, something that is easier for some to talk about than others... it's a fact either way, and malkuth finishes off her drink as she leans back in her seat, hands in her lap as she looks up at the ceiling. ]
... We really aren't so different, [ but it has a far different tone than their first dinner together, where she'd said it lightly about their kill counts and professions that had asked it of them, one that's quieter at its core, ] though it was only after I died that I was of use to anyone. I was a nuisance at best before, and not worth looking back at at worst -- I wasn't hated or loved, there was just... nothing there. I couldn't produce results, and as a person I was nothing but a defect. I was just allowed to stay because I was passionate and in too deep by the end.
[ the memories aren't her own, but they are about her. facts you could find in data entries back at a certain corporation, no different than a history entry containing the name of a certain swordsman sitting in front of her. ]
So I don't have the greatest opinion on it, but I get why someone else would. It feels nice to be seen, doesn't it?
( it makes sense that there are others who died here, for death was as common as betrayal, but to hear malkuth relate to his circumstances without ridicule... with laughter that has understanding flit across his features rather than have him flinching away—
izou's eyes drop, his face warming.
it does feel nice to be seen, and the boisterous braggart of a killer who might've sneered at her a month ago stiffens in posture as malkuth takes a hammer to the wall of his heart with her nourishing words. he didn't expect this. didn't expect to be drawn so deeply into their conversation, to open up about himself. again, mind you. what was it... what was it about this woman that had him relaxing into her company like this? was it because she actually listened? that she didn't pretend to care? )
I can't pretend to get how this "city" of yers functions entirely, but... the way things work where I'm from, folks who've made a mark on the world are brought back to do good for humanity's sake. Much like things are here. So, maybe you could consider LILITH as seein' you as worthy... that you did some great things in life, and...
( man. this is so sappy. )
... Augh. Look. I'm not good at this sorta stuff.
izou's eyes drop, his face warming.
it does feel nice to be seen, and the boisterous braggart of a killer who might've sneered at her a month ago stiffens in posture as malkuth takes a hammer to the wall of his heart with her nourishing words. he didn't expect this. didn't expect to be drawn so deeply into their conversation, to open up about himself. again, mind you. what was it... what was it about this woman that had him relaxing into her company like this? was it because she actually listened? that she didn't pretend to care? )
I can't pretend to get how this "city" of yers functions entirely, but... the way things work where I'm from, folks who've made a mark on the world are brought back to do good for humanity's sake. Much like things are here. So, maybe you could consider LILITH as seein' you as worthy... that you did some great things in life, and...
( man. this is so sappy. )
... Augh. Look. I'm not good at this sorta stuff.
[ it makes her laugh again, a little brighter this time. ]
You're really not, but... I appreciate it. [ sincerely, she does. she always meant it when she called him sweet. ] Looks like you're double wanted then, huh?
[ summoned twice... whatever the feelings between march and him, just good friends or more, malkuth doesn't think she'll have to worry too much. not that she did before -- but certainly not as she gets to know him better. ]
I'm probably just more useful than notable though, really. You know. The thing I showed off and all. But I like the way you put it better, so I think I'll start believing that too. I have to have faith in what other people see that I don't, right?
You're really not, but... I appreciate it. [ sincerely, she does. she always meant it when she called him sweet. ] Looks like you're double wanted then, huh?
[ summoned twice... whatever the feelings between march and him, just good friends or more, malkuth doesn't think she'll have to worry too much. not that she did before -- but certainly not as she gets to know him better. ]
I'm probably just more useful than notable though, really. You know. The thing I showed off and all. But I like the way you put it better, so I think I'll start believing that too. I have to have faith in what other people see that I don't, right?
[Red. Its all red. She may want to see what colors they would make, but her body, his eyes, the quickening of their pulses in practical unison, the flow of their blood...its red right now, from top to bottom.]
[He never felt like he appreciated the color, truly, before this very moment. He was titled it. It meant nothing but a reference, perhaps, to the blood he had spilled constantly over the years.]
[....She would know that better than most. And yet, here she is, giving him everything including the uttered compliment of his eyes. It's sincere to a point where it feels it stabs through him. If he had done this earlier, he doesn't think it would've gone anywhere. A single moment. A dot.]
[There's a weight of mutual understanding that holds them together like a paperweight. These abandoned texts can be read together. As easy as anything. He swallows down her sighs, a low keen of a noise at the back of his throat that replies to her.]
[Yes. He is gentle even now. He wants to savor it. He wants her to savor it. To move inside her with such a steady pace, feeling the lines of her legs held so perfectly against him, is true bliss. He means it.]
[Her hand moves, and he instinctively kisses at its palm, kisses its fingers, sucks ligtly over a few fingertips to produce more of that spark of their shared color.]
[Beautiful? Him....?]
Ha.....you feel...like everything.
[Everything he could ever want. His movement and creased little eyebrows of happiness and concentration say it for himself. He groans again, eyelids fluttering.]
I like...how you sound, ah...
[He never felt like he appreciated the color, truly, before this very moment. He was titled it. It meant nothing but a reference, perhaps, to the blood he had spilled constantly over the years.]
[....She would know that better than most. And yet, here she is, giving him everything including the uttered compliment of his eyes. It's sincere to a point where it feels it stabs through him. If he had done this earlier, he doesn't think it would've gone anywhere. A single moment. A dot.]
[There's a weight of mutual understanding that holds them together like a paperweight. These abandoned texts can be read together. As easy as anything. He swallows down her sighs, a low keen of a noise at the back of his throat that replies to her.]
[Yes. He is gentle even now. He wants to savor it. He wants her to savor it. To move inside her with such a steady pace, feeling the lines of her legs held so perfectly against him, is true bliss. He means it.]
[Her hand moves, and he instinctively kisses at its palm, kisses its fingers, sucks ligtly over a few fingertips to produce more of that spark of their shared color.]
[Beautiful? Him....?]
Ha.....you feel...like everything.
[Everything he could ever want. His movement and creased little eyebrows of happiness and concentration say it for himself. He groans again, eyelids fluttering.]
I like...how you sound, ah...
[ the mouth against her hand raises new desires and questions, fluttering forth and then away as she laughs, half the sound lost amidst the rest. everything is an odd thing to be. her fingertips tap against his lips, enjoying the slight diversion of attention. ]
No more... poetry for me, Vergilius? [ teasing even now. ] Can't think of any?
[ she likes his voice too, she'd said. hearing his written word was the match that struck this after all. has she ever been anyone's everything? not to her knowledge. but she's everything right now, she feels everything right now, nails in his skin and knees squeezing tight. it really is a good a lot, a chosen a lot, and maybe she's goading him just a little. ]
No more... poetry for me, Vergilius? [ teasing even now. ] Can't think of any?
[ she likes his voice too, she'd said. hearing his written word was the match that struck this after all. has she ever been anyone's everything? not to her knowledge. but she's everything right now, she feels everything right now, nails in his skin and knees squeezing tight. it really is a good a lot, a chosen a lot, and maybe she's goading him just a little. ]
[ For a fleeting fraction of a second, while Malkuth goes still, Yesod's fingers — too convincing and disconcerting an illusion — maintain the contact. They register more than he expects, once again, presumably because the cloaking technology is designed to enable its user to blend in with ordinary humans, possibly even simulating certain sensory receptors to ensure appropriate responses to one's surroundings. Malkuth's tears, turning her lashes wet and tracking thin glistening trails down her cheeks, mix with the blood coating Yesod's thumb.
And then Malkuth recoils, as if to jerk away from a blow or a scorching flame or the bite of an unpleasantly cold surface. Yesod's hand remains outstretched a moment longer, giving it the appearance of reaching for Malkuth, beckoning to her. The sight is, without a doubt, as strange as the touch that came before it — Yesod is acutely aware of it himself.
Finally, he lowers his hand. His body lacks a heart, but something clenches where it might reside, his mind all too capable of emotion, and he recognizes this powerlessness. ]
...That was my choice as well.
[ But it has accomplished nothing positive. ]
And then Malkuth recoils, as if to jerk away from a blow or a scorching flame or the bite of an unpleasantly cold surface. Yesod's hand remains outstretched a moment longer, giving it the appearance of reaching for Malkuth, beckoning to her. The sight is, without a doubt, as strange as the touch that came before it — Yesod is acutely aware of it himself.
Finally, he lowers his hand. His body lacks a heart, but something clenches where it might reside, his mind all too capable of emotion, and he recognizes this powerlessness. ]
...That was my choice as well.
[ But it has accomplished nothing positive. ]
[ his choices are stupid, she wants to say, words caught in her tight throat instead. the heel of her hand comes up to wipe at her tears before she shakes her head, chest aching, and droops as she digs into the cavity of the body. ]
... You're lucky you're a hunk of metal, [ after a moment, shaky and a little sulky, ] or I would've taken your finger off.
[ even if she wouldn't have really. dedicated to keeping her friends safe, swearing to march she'd never hurt her and wanting to promise the same to yesod now. but the contact had eased her hunger somewhat, irritatingly, annoyingly, and she presses her hands into hot blood to try and capture the warmth before. she can't ask it of him.
she can't, she won't, so she doesn't. she answers his question from before instead, once the soft tissue has slide down her throat and she's resisted the natural human urge to gag on it. ]
... My sake. I don't want one of your memories to be... this, about me.
... You're lucky you're a hunk of metal, [ after a moment, shaky and a little sulky, ] or I would've taken your finger off.
[ even if she wouldn't have really. dedicated to keeping her friends safe, swearing to march she'd never hurt her and wanting to promise the same to yesod now. but the contact had eased her hunger somewhat, irritatingly, annoyingly, and she presses her hands into hot blood to try and capture the warmth before. she can't ask it of him.
she can't, she won't, so she doesn't. she answers his question from before instead, once the soft tissue has slide down her throat and she's resisted the natural human urge to gag on it. ]
... My sake. I don't want one of your memories to be... this, about me.
I don't know. I don't think it'd be very satisfying, even if I was good at that.
[all else aside, even without the fact that he's not a machine made for combat, thinking about it is still...
he doesn't like the idea of it. netzach would if he needed to, he's not going to refuse to fight, but he doubts he could enjoy doing that at all.]
I'm probably better off sticking with stuff like working on the generators.
[all else aside, even without the fact that he's not a machine made for combat, thinking about it is still...
he doesn't like the idea of it. netzach would if he needed to, he's not going to refuse to fight, but he doubts he could enjoy doing that at all.]
I'm probably better off sticking with stuff like working on the generators.
... Yeah, you are. You're much better at taking care of others, Netzach.
[ not fighting. that's true even now. she rests her head back, sighing. ]
If I could help it, I wouldn't want you or Yesod in danger at all. I can at least handle myself, and I don't dislike fighting the way you do... It's fun.
[ it's fun. it feels good. she's doing something instead of just sitting around watching others. but there's others who only do it because they have to, so if she can save them that trouble... that's enough. ]
[ not fighting. that's true even now. she rests her head back, sighing. ]
If I could help it, I wouldn't want you or Yesod in danger at all. I can at least handle myself, and I don't dislike fighting the way you do... It's fun.
[ it's fun. it feels good. she's doing something instead of just sitting around watching others. but there's others who only do it because they have to, so if she can save them that trouble... that's enough. ]
I don't know about that.
[when has he ever been good at taking care of anyone? when his department loses a chunk of its employees to a single abnormality, is he good at it then?
...]
But I don't really like seeing you get hurt either, Malkuth.
[when has he ever been good at taking care of anyone? when his department loses a chunk of its employees to a single abnormality, is he good at it then?
...]
But I don't really like seeing you get hurt either, Malkuth.
[ it's a slightly different flavor than what he might have said otherwise, "i guess so" or "are you sure about that...?" mumbled in mind, and malkuth laughs a little at his follow-up. there's that heart she speaks so fondly of.
her leg is starting to throb. it's fine. ]
So look away, I won't be offended. [ yesod refused, but netzach might agree.
in an effort to reassure him, even, she's pumping her fist. ] I'm a tough gal! I've even fought a Grade 1 Fixer! It was a real pain in the butt, would definitely not recommend it -- but these are small fry compared to that, so don't worry about me. I'm gonna get a little hurt no matter what, but I won't die. Promise.
her leg is starting to throb. it's fine. ]
So look away, I won't be offended. [ yesod refused, but netzach might agree.
in an effort to reassure him, even, she's pumping her fist. ] I'm a tough gal! I've even fought a Grade 1 Fixer! It was a real pain in the butt, would definitely not recommend it -- but these are small fry compared to that, so don't worry about me. I'm gonna get a little hurt no matter what, but I won't die. Promise.
M-Malkuth.
[Now that gets him to shoot her a little bit of a frown - what a tease. Here, now, in the midst of union, heat, and desire? Well, on second stuttered thought, maybe that is the point. Maybe there's never been a better time of it. It's hard to think, though - he feels like his thoughts are tripping like drunkards over the weight of sensation as he continues his thrusts into her.]
[What she does IS goading him, he thinks.]
[But he doesn't mind.]
Your voice is...the song I want to sing to myself in the dark. [Another shift of his hips, a guttural gasp.] For myself. For you. A duet to...consume and be sated on. Ha.
[His body is shaking a little, sparks singing up his spine as he quickens his pace, dives deep, emphasizes it to make her truly feel the weight of him.]
You menace.
[Now that gets him to shoot her a little bit of a frown - what a tease. Here, now, in the midst of union, heat, and desire? Well, on second stuttered thought, maybe that is the point. Maybe there's never been a better time of it. It's hard to think, though - he feels like his thoughts are tripping like drunkards over the weight of sensation as he continues his thrusts into her.]
[What she does IS goading him, he thinks.]
[But he doesn't mind.]
Your voice is...the song I want to sing to myself in the dark. [Another shift of his hips, a guttural gasp.] For myself. For you. A duet to...consume and be sated on. Ha.
[His body is shaking a little, sparks singing up his spine as he quickens his pace, dives deep, emphasizes it to make her truly feel the weight of him.]
You menace.
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