synflux | [OPEN] Lost in paradise

WHO: March 7th and anyone who wants to witness this
WHAT: Post-upgrade Problems...
WHERE: Around the base, around Japan
WHEN: April 12th and up to a week after that
WARNINGS: None so far!

A. Post-Surgery

[ Choices were made. March may or may not regret them a little, but upon remembering things like how badly injured so many of the Outsiders had been and Ishmael gritting her teeth while struggling to walk, she'd ultimately decided it was worth it.

Maybe not right now, though, not when she's kind of staggering around the base, looking very much Still In Pain and sheet-white. Of course, that's one thing. The other thing is that she looks completely disoriented and depending on where you find her, it's pretty obvious that it's not where she was trying to go. Maybe it's a non-Redemption wing. Maybe it's the cafeteria.

Maybe it's the rec room?? Maybe she's actually heading outside when she clearly shouldn't be??

If you're still not entirely sure what she's up to, she can be heard quietly muttering to herself in a shaky voice, definitely rattled-- ]

W-why is it so hard to find my room??

B. Compass Required

[ It's a day or so later! And she is.

... Not doing any better. Though at the very least, she's had some time to get the style upgrade implemented and is comfortably clothed in her much more familiar (to her) outfit from home.

But she hasn't actually been seen on the base all day, which probably isn't terribly strange, since March likes to go out and experience life, but at this point it's dark and if you're out at night, you might spot her. Talking to a few people who seem either amused or flummoxed by her current level of vexation. ]

No, sorry, I've definitely been to Shinjuku, and I know where it is on a map, I just--

I'm not drunk! Look, just tell me "this way" or "that way" and I'll figure it out from there!!

[ ... She has apparently been dealing with something similar for hours, given that she really does sound like she's on the verge of frustrated tears. ]

C. Bah Hummingbird

[ At this point, March has given up leaving the base on her own, so you can spot her in the greenhouse (though it's arguable whether she meant to be there or not), a cute little hummingbird perched on her shoulder. She's taking pictures of the plants, though she pauses to glance up when she realizes she's got company, offering a smile that is definitely a lot steadier than the mess she's been over the past few days. ]

These little guys are pretty cute, aren't they? I'm more of a dog person, but I gotta admit, they've got a lot of appeal!

[ OOC: Also fine with doing custom starters if nothing catches your interest! ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ what, after her terrible time in her first life???????? ]

Thanks. I do wanna know what it feels like to be... you know. Wanted, I guess. I was just tolerated by pretty much everyone in my first life.

[ she wasn't, but they're the memories that surface easiest. her pattering down the hall, apologizing to any she passed as she hurried, leaving a mess in her wake... returning a few steps to pick up papers and then be off again.

yeah, there's no way anyone looked at her with anything but aggravation. ]

... Huh. That's weird, I guess they all had bad taste.

[ That statement seems to bewilder her a fair amount, from the slow way she blinks. ]

But I do get that, I think. Not that I was tolerated, but you know, the flirts flirt with everyone, and it'd be nice if I was approached for that sort of thing just because it was me.

[ Unfortunately(??) no one's come up to her with apologetic confessions lately. Which is probably for the best. ]

[ ... march really has some faith in her. it makes her feel kind of bad, actually -- even though the person she is now isn't drastically different. ]

No, I just... didn't belong in the place I was born, maybe.

[ maybe. if she can put a positive spin on it like march would want her to, rather than sink into her thoughts again. ]

It is sorta hard to take people that tease everyone seriously when they do it to you though, huh? Like, even if they tell you that they are being serious, you still have the thought they aren't. You really haven't had anyone pay you special attention just because you're you?

Edited 2024-04-21 18:16 (UTC)

Not romantically.

[ With a dramatic sigh. ]

But yeah, I feel like it'd be pretty hard to take someone seriously who was teasing the whole time before it... then again, maybe you'd be able to tell if they were being genuine.

I don't know, either way... I guess I haven't thought about it too hard here. With the amount of work I had to put into just getting friendship to happen in a lot of cases, I can't even imagine what it'd be like for romance.

[ Exhausting, maybe. ]

[ maybe if they didn't keep her guessing she WOULD KNOW. it's fine. it'll be fine now. probably. ]

I know right? Like, I only stopped using my foolproof friendship plan within the last week or so! I don't have anything past that!

[ she has research to do!!!! ]

I don't think there's exactly a foolproof plan for relationships beyond that.

[ Probably because romance is a much more complicated thing to navigate. ]

There has to be.

[ dead serious. ]

[ ... Flicks her forehead. ]

Nope. Stop right there. Don't even start thinking that, actually, or it's not going to go well.

[ ow... girl, your nails. she can't even rub her forehead right now. ]

Sorry, I'm just... worried. I mean, what if we can't go back to being friends? Or they don't want to be friends anymore, because it's all or nothing? I don't want to be with someone I can't match the feelings of, but I don't want to have to pretend I do just so I can keep them in my life either.

[ since it'd

hurt, a lot. a lot a lot. it's scary and, despite her best efforts to remain still, her hands clench. ]

If I have a plan, then I can follow it.

[ Yeah, as planned.

She at least finishes up with one of Malkuth's hands (painstakingly made to unclench) before she speaks again, eyebrows knitted together. ]

I don't think either of those guys and... [ she grimaces ] Ryoji, I guess, are the kind who will just throw everything out the window and avoid you forever if you decide you don't want to be dating them and you'd rather stick to something else.

... Even Mr. Vergilius almost had some kind of breakdown when I brought up a hypothetical of you never wanting to talk to him again.

Sure, having a plan is great and all, but you're probably going to find out you'll have to modify it a ton, depending on the person. And it still might not go how it works out on paper. People are even more unpredictable when feelings are involved.

[ Things learned here, from just paying attention-- ]

So I think it's normal to be worried about it, but you're also not going through it alone, you know? And if these guys are any kind of smart, they'll give you the time and the understanding you need to work it out.

[ ... march always knows how to ease her. as her friend talks, malkuth feels her mind settle, gaze rising slowly. in, one two three, out. just like roland taught her. ]

... When Kaito told me how he felt, he immediately tried to leave when I didn't respond quite the same -- because he was scared too, I think. So... I don't know. I especially don't want to mess up there.

[ but he also isn't himself right now, so malkuth can forgive him. ]

But you're right, and... I'm sorry for panicking.

Why're you apologizing? Even in movies, the protagonist doesn't always hold it together!

[ March shakes her head with a fond smile. ]

Honestly, who knows how I'll feel if it ever happens to me? You might have to talk me through it, too. [ Even though it'd be nice if she handled it calmly and rationally, as she sure intends to do. ]

We'll take it one day at a time, okay? You guys were friends before you were anything else, so I'm sure it'll be fine. It's just shaky territory right now.

[ no, march'll handle it totally flawlessly and cool as a cucumber. there won't be a single bit of nervousness. malkuth's sponging it up right now. ]

Alright, alright. One day at a time. Would it be easier if a stranger caught your eye? Like... love at first sight kind of thing.

Oh yeah, definitely!

[ It sure would be easier. But at the same time, what Malkuth had said to her... ]

... Though I guess what you said before, in the springs, is also true that maybe it's harder to be really attracted to someone without them having be a friend first...

But I think that'd be complicated in its own way.

Let's give up on love.

[ that is not the answer. ]

Malkuth, that's quitter's talk.

[ Ma'am. ]

[ ma'am. ]

Oh, full name. [ she's in trouble. ] I know, I know, I'm kidding. I hate throwing in the towel without giving something a real shot.

[ even if it's

something vaguely terrifying like losing her friendships, ]

... Elijah deserves a second chance too. I didn't have any fear at all about it back then, but maybe I would have if he liked me back. I got a photograph of him and a few others actually, when I got Citrine? But it's in my room.

[ so. so! can't show and tell! ]

A photograph of that guy...?

[ Haaa. ]

Well, show it to me when I come over next time. We're gonna make the most of the chances we've got here anyway!

When and only when we're ready!

[OPEN] Lost in paradise

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