[open/closed] i must be the only one to dance this beautiful dance

[axethrows]

WHO: Rodion & Friends
WHAT: Catchall for May + June
WHERE: Various locations
WHEN: May & June (from TDM#4 prompts to up to end of June)
WARNINGS: various warnings due to June Event; threads/top levels will be marked accordingly

[OOC Note: If you would like to have a closed thread or something else in here, please contact me and we can set something up!]

Comments

i forgot to put a label for the second half

[yuwon]

[ his silence might have lingered, but his hands remain in place. even in moments like these he can't deny that she was beautiful, even if this may have been the first time he's ever seen her appear so vulnerable. when he pulls her upwards silently, he almost keeps to this severe atmosphere. his face discernable, before he holds the both of her cheeks in his hands as if looking right at her. it lasts a moment too long even by his standards, and so he eventually looks down. ]

So we'll just have to make certain first. [ first, before what? he seems to leave it vague on purpose, showing zero inkling of following up his words with anything else. almost as if shifting out of that topic, he continues. ] You don't think I would have pushed you away already if that's what I wanted?

[ i want you... or so he seems to think on these words, but he doesn't say it, unsure of what capacity he might mean them in. at the very least, he figures he needed to come up with a plan. for what? idk, but why do i play someone so meticulous in the worst way. ]

😳

[axethrows]

Eh? [The sound that escaped from her lips was small yet still full of sudden surprise as her head was pulled up and his hands were on her face to hold her there. Her eyes widen and for a few seconds, her mind blanks out on everything that is not related to the man in front of her. The storm in her heart silences as they held eye contact before his eyes move downwards.

Her hands slowly move to grab his cheeks in return, one hand even tucking some of his hair behind his ear as she slowly clicks back into reality.]

Yuwon... [Even when she has been showing great vulnerability, her voice is quiet yet clear enough to be heard. She speaks his name in a way that she is serious right now and she wants his attention on her in this moment.]

Tell me what you want right now. I don't care if you give me an 'I don't know' or your words are going to hurt me, but I want to hear an answer from you. Something, anything- Say what you want to say, not what I want to hear. You can make up a lie and I would accept it- [She takes a deep breath, eyes closing for a second to collect herself before her blue eyes pierce right back into him. Part of her wants to act as frantic as her heart is right now, but she is trying to keep some solid composure like a frozen object with unbreakable ice.]

I want to hear your thoughts from your voice. I can figure some things out without words, but I am not a mind reader. [Her voice has sharpen with her gaze.] Don't try to deflect the question back at me- I'll answer once you answer. Okay?

[If you tell her ICly to wait five years, I am flying over to your house to shake your shoulders for a whole hour (and pet hazel.)]

jk

[yuwon]

[ did his name always sound like that? for once, she doesn't apply a nickname, nor does it have the carefree tone in which he grew so accustomed to. to be honest, it's a lot to take in at once, and to a degree, he's not sure if he completely understands it. in his journey thus far, he didn't exactly have room for emotions, and yet at the same time, it was clear to him that he's also changed a bit here.

specifically, his attitude towards the people around him has. it's not that he's opened up by any real measure, nor has he released any of the heavier burdens he shouldered, but when he hears her words, he almost feels like he gets insight into a part of her he never thought he would. as always, there's that pressing desire to read further into her actions, to try and wrangle out some sort of truth—

but, when he doesn't even know his own, he isn't sure he deserves to even feel that way. as usual, it's easier for him to push aside his feelings, almost as is perfectly packing them away. when he speaks, it's as calm as ever, but if she listens carefully there definitely it an almost stiff undertone to it; almost forced. ]

It's complicated. As you know, I've never thought of anything beyond the fate of the tower. [ ... and even that might have been revealing too much. he rubs his thumb against her cheek. ] Sorry, [ yuwon wasn't the type who apologized easily, at least not in the context of interpersonal relationships, but he means it when he says it. he wasn't much of an actor, and so he keeps to his blunt nature. he doesn't mince his words, but there might have been a bit of his own expectations mixed into his words. ]

Can you wait for me?

closes my eyes.......

[axethrows]

["Can you wait for me?"

She listened quietly as he speaks and that question might as well shot a hole through her chest like it's a weapon. How many times has she heard that question? That request for patience, in which it has been drained out of her system for a long time now. People told her to wait during her periods of begging, Sonya telling her to wait for the right moment to cut down the upper class and bring equality in their Backstreets. How long does she have to wait? A few days? A week or two? Months or years? Is LILITH going to keep them around long enough? What if she goes back before she got an answer? What if Yuwon goes back to his tower before he gave his answer?

She opens her mouth yet closes it, her fingers slowly trailing down Yuwon's cheeks as she takes her hands off of him.]

It's always complicated. [Her eyes gaze downward as her hands move over on top of Yuwon's hands, slowly taking hold of them to pull them away from her face. She would tell him to not think about the tower, why care about it yet at the same time... It's not really appropriate. Yuwon made his decisions. She has to respect that.]

I'll wait, but... [She stops there. Due to her past, her hope is very small since she has been burned in the past. It still exists, at least.] Anyways, go rest up. I'll get out of your hair.

[She pulls herself back on her feet, brushing off the wrinkles of her dress before she turns around towards the door. She's taking her time in case he has something else to say, so she is lingering around.]

closes mine forever

[yuwon]

[ naturally, he has no insight into the nature of his own question, or how that translated to her life. at the same time, when he sees the way in which she simply just listens to him, it evokes a clear feeling within him. he doesn't regret his words, but he does seem to comprehend the unintentional weight behind them for the first time. it's in this that he also realizes that while centuries were a common life span for a ranker, and while people tended to live fairly long lives within the tower— he could see that this could have potentially warped his own perception of time. of what it meant to be patient.

when she replies back, and he feels her hands pull his own away from her, he isn't sure how he feels. his own expression remains unreadable as always,

and in this moment he's a bit grateful for it.

"but"—

he seems to still be deliberating over what she wanted to say. while she takes her time to leave, he looks at the place she had stood moments before. ] It won't be long.

[ once again, he isn't sure if that's irresponsible of him to state knowing he has no concept of what constituted as long or short for her, but it's something he says anyway. perhaps, it may have been closest to the least calculated action he's took so far. ]

I'll see you tomorrow. [ he adds quietly. unlike in the tower, he couldn't simply ascend further and away without anyone's notice. ... and maybe, it's become that much more routine here for him to see her on the regular. in his life of being an orphan, it's a luxury he's never really thought of. or rather, it felt so natural for him to build so many walls in order to avoid unnecessary contact, and yet who knew even he could grow closer to someone here. ]

one more shotgun blast before we end it here

[axethrows]

[She stops at the door as soon as he said that comment. She doesn't look at him as her hand rests against the door. She... literally cannot show her face to him, not right now. It's more vulnerable than earlier, way more than ever before. That if she looked at him back, she might fall apart.]

Sorry... I can't believe those words until I see it happen. [...] I will see you tomorrow.

[And she leaves without looking back.
Perhaps this is the reality between them: forever surrounded by their own walls.
Perhaps this is the reality she is never escape from: forever surrounded by ice, living and watching the world while she yearns for a relief from this cold.]