[open/closed] i must be the only one to dance this beautiful dance

[axethrows]

WHO: Rodion & Friends
WHAT: Catchall for May + June
WHERE: Various locations
WHEN: May & June (from TDM#4 prompts to up to end of June)
WARNINGS: various warnings due to June Event; threads/top levels will be marked accordingly

[OOC Note: If you would like to have a closed thread or something else in here, please contact me and we can set something up!]

Comments

[axethrows]

[Maybe the memory reveal does have an impact on this moment, but she still had to get out of her system. Rodya, a woman who normally is very good at keeping her emotions bottled up, finally ripped out a piece of her heart and offered it to Yuwon. Impulse could have something to do with it, but waiting... She's tired of waiting. Her heart may have a bleeding hole right now, but she honestly couldn't stand it and she had to tell Yuwon something.

Her blue eyes... 'I probably looked pathetic in his eyes right now' as she thought, her own eyes are filled with such a mix of emotions. Sorrow, frustration, yearning-

She has put so much effort into trying to change herself a little bit and trying to make this work, trying to understand Yuwon as a whole while learning things about him and being drawn to his strengths and charms. Drawn to his uniqueness and small bits of kindness, even if she doesn't understand some of his behaviors or actions. He is not as much emotional as compared to she is, Rodya has only seen Yuwon always keeping his cool and straight to the point. She has seen him smile, but other emotions are either too rare to catch or impossible to see. Overall, Yuwon is someone special and part of him does make her feel like she is special. Something she longed for because how The City raised and treated her. To have achievements she could be proud of having, to be a better person...

Even in this world... She feels like she hasn't gone much anywhere, no matter what things she has done... It's not her world to begin with, but it would be nice to leave her name here before she disappears. To feel that she has achieved something.

She opens her mouth to say something, but the last sentence oddly catches her off guard. Dude????]

Okay, it's a tempting offer, but why would you suggest that... Weirdo. Do you like getting hit that much?

[Backtracking to his previous words, she's been told to wait. Again. She turns her head away as she sighs, breaking their eye contact while a hand moves to push Yuwon's hand off of her chin.]

How can I understand you if you keep making me wait? But, fine... I get it. [She turns her head back towards him, but her eyes are glancing to the side instead of towards him. She should walk away right there, but she's hesitating...]

[yuwon]

[ it's not that yuwon is impervious to bouts of self-reflection. he simply just didn't believe it was necessarily conducive to his overall objectives; in a sense, it could have easily deterred them depending on what line of thinking he chose to meander down. hence, he normally stopped himself before feelings of having wronged someone truly settle in. before, any guilt can weasel its way in. that said, he can't help but feel a bit regretful over her reaction.

he knows it's not exactly fair to her to make her wait until he feels like he's come to his own conclusions. until the aftermath of the kaiju battle that would inevitably just repeat itself, almost like an endless cycle. perhaps, it simply was just him falling back into old habits. of focusing on a distant future rather than the present. but, sometimes even he thinks moments like these seem far more valuable.

as difficult as it is for him to dig that deep (mostly out of the dogmatic desire to remain neutral and apathetic), he can't deny she was there. even now he feels like heart itself was trembling, wavering, and the only the thoughts of his seemingly lofty goals seem to re-ground him. but, her response does make him feel a bit lighter, but not by much. ] ... Of course not. But, if it relieves your anger a little.

[ it was easier for him to accept someone's anger flat out like that than it was to argue with them. it seemed the most effective at times. (doubt) ]

Don't go. [ he grabs a hold of her wrist. he might not have a right to ask her to stay after all of that, but he just feels like he couldn't leave her alone right now. but, suddenly feeling self-conscious of his words, he pauses momentarily, before releasing her wrist. ]

[axethrows]

[She is so tempted to give him a black eye right now, but her thoughts are more focused on beating up herself. She should have cut him off before her feelings grew, but it's too late now. Now the heavier thoughts are kicking in while she is so vulnerable.

Maybe her desires never mattered. Because why would someone like her be deserving of affection and attention? Even happiness-

There is also another thought: Why... did LILITH pick her in the first place when there are so much better options in The City? People with power and achievements that actually made a difference meanwhile every thing she tried to do didn't make an impact. Did someone picked her as a joke? What good even is she as she's been stagnant... Trying to do something and getting nowhere meanwhile other people achieved so much, even some who recently got here.]

Why?

[It's a vague question, but a word does escape her while she is lost in her personal torment. She should accept to herself that she will never change and she will never be someone. Only a nobody. A foolish cottager. Alone in the cold.]

You don't want me to go yet you are hesistating... If that is what you want, I will leave you alone. [Until after the kaiju fight or forever... Who can truly say at this point.] I-

[She stops there as she slowly pulls herself away so she can turn around and start walking away from him.]

[yuwon]

[ in everyone's lives comes a distinct moment in which they've realized they've made a terrible mistake. in yuwon's case, it's probably now. the second she questions why, he doesn't say anything. per usual, he fills the space with a purposeful silence. while he could potentially have found the words to say, he isn't sure any explanation is actually adequate in the moment. he doesn't want to debate with her on this, especially considering the memory he just saw, and so he opts on not uttering a single word.

there's something solemn on his features as he gives a quiet, reticent sigh. it's not that he's exasperated with her, but is lamenting the fact that there's little he could do to put her mind at ease. so, he does what's best and simply just lets her leave. ]