WHO: Okada Izou and "friends". WHAT: Catch-all for TDM/event prompts. WHERE: Various sites around Kyoto. WHEN: Most of May. WARNINGS: Animal gore, BDSM talk???. Will update as necessary.
( izou swallows as warmth passes from those palms and over skin that's cold from the rain, a good deal different when you're made of flesh now and not just magic. he's grown used to the real sensation of touch these past couple of months.
but what really gives him pause, drops of red receding from the cuts down his forearm and back as everything begins to graft and heal, is the seriousness of her gaze. )
Well, you got my attention. Obviously. What's on your mind?
( there's the rumbling of thunder in the distance briefly, a sign that the rain isn't letting up anytime soon. )
She should be able to release him in a few more seconds, but for now, her hands remain where they are. She's not sure what kind of answer she wants from him, at this moment. Maybe she just wants an answer at all.
Finally, after a pause-- ]
The good and the bad, Izou. I told you that, remember? Whatever being your friend came with.
[ And there's a flicker of hurt in her eyes as she stares at him now. ]
So why didn't you tell me you were dead? Why did I have to hear it from Malkuth?
( his mind races to deny it, to put hands against the accusation and shove it away, but he had told malkuth. he had, hadn't he? in a moment of understanding, so casually and so far from march who had been his first proper "friend" after ishmael. from someone who he knew...
and march's hands are gentle, just like her voice even as she calls out his reluctance to tell her all this time that he's more a phantom than a person. just a concept from a bygone era, and maybe it's that gentleness to her that makes the wave of guilt so heavy.
why... why's she gotta keep a hold on his face for?
izou tries to tilt his head away only to be met with the press of her palm against his cheek. a reminder. and then, through a grimace and a furrowed brow of his own, he stares down at march's face and the shape of her features. )
What I tell Malkuth's... my own business. But I didn't keep it from you all this time to hurt ya. You've gotta... You've gotta trust me on that.
( is making excuses... all he's good for?
but this is man-slayer izou, and the blood drying on the floor beneath them serves as a reminder, too. )
[ The air smells like blood and rain, the scent of the latter seeping through parts of the tile that have broken off from nature's disregard and past monster attacks, she's sure.
And March draws both hands back as he speaks. He's not wrong. What he tells Malkuth is his own business. What he doesn't tell her is also up to him. But there's that same sharp ache in her chest from before, prompting her to rest one of her hands against her heart again because she thought, maybe. Maybe that would stop once she knew the answer. Or maybe she'd been wrong.
But he'd just said it. That he had kept it from her. And she-- ]
I know you didn't do it to hurt me. But it...
[ It hurts. Right now, it hurts, and she squeezes her eyes closed.
No, that's not all she has to say about this, does she?
[ This is just narrative timing here, that the thunder rumbles, closer and louder, at the same time that March opens her eyes again and they're blazing, as hotly as her voice because actually, no, she doesn't feel like being gentle in this precise moment.
Maybe that had been the problem. Maybe he thought she was delicate.
Well, screw that, and instead of a hand over her chest, it's a fist over his. It's not really a punch, honestly, it's just contact. But from the tension in it, it's perhaps apparent that she'd be shaking him by the civilian clothes if he had them on right now. ]
I'm--not stupid, you know? I knew there were times you'd start to say something and then stop and I figured it was fine, you'd tell me when you were ready, but you never did! And I don't know! I don't know if it's because you trust Malkuth more or because you think I can't handle it or because you think I'm weak, because I can't read your mind!! You being dead hurts, of course it does, but if it's true that you kept it from me to, to--for my own good--!!
[ It's the same. It's the same as what the messenger had said. Poor little March 7th, named herself after a date, should not be exposed to pain and sorrow, the harsher edges of a truth, because isn't it better that way?
( it's anything but pathetic, but izou can't read minds and can't find it in himself to voice a response at first.
not when march's upset hits him in waves.
not when the mortifying realization of how he hadn't been discreet in the least in hiding something from her hit like that monstrous kaijuu had soared straight into the mucked up dirt—hard, and with little to no grace whatsoever. izou's teeth grit, because who's the real idiot here? here he'd been, keeping this little detail about himself a secret out of a supposed concern for march, doing the thing he hated most that others had done to him most convincingly in keeping him out of the loop, and now...
for a short, blissful period, it felt like he had been on top of things.
but maybe this is why... this is why they thought him a liability back then, because he just didn't get it. and maybe this is why he couldn't keep people at his side, when he was bound to ruin his relationships with his crudeness and stupidity. if izou could just... trust march like she trusts him, that balled fist against his chest so much smaller than his but just as forceful, then maybe this confrontation wouldn't have happened. maybe he could've prevented himself from seeing march so disturbed over a man who couldn't even handle telling a cute girl who opened her heart to him that he had a gravesite. that he had stared at the sky that day, malnourished and empty and ready to be done with this world that refused to let him go no matter how many names he spat out.
his face scrunches up in anger unintentionally, a redness rising to his cheeks. )
How'd you... How'd you get it in your head that I told her all that 'cause I trust her more? That isn't true. If anything, I told her 'cause it was easier. Just 'cause it came out when I felt like I didn't have anything to worry about.
( his free hand, the one that hasn't been holding steel this whole time, reaches up to grip tight at the wrist that march has planted against him.
now he's the one stammering back at her, expressive in the sense that he's clearly trying his best not to snap. no woman has ever confronted him like this before, not even his master, and this is where the comparisons fold completely. )
But maybe, I... maybe it's true I went and kept it from you, thinkin' you didn't need to hear it. That I didn't want the girl who told me she's missin' memories to know she was talkin' to a guy who might not even be around later. I shoulda just, told you there and then before it came to this. But how could I—
( he bares his teeth, pained by the mess he's made and by the hurt in march's expression. the rain, ever tenacious, remains beautifully cool. )
How am I 'sposed to bring it up when I care about you this damn much? Huh?!
[ How they went from working together to yelling at each other is a little too much of a callback to the last time they'd been on a mission together, except this time, there's enough of a difference for March to be conscious of it. Last time, the distance had hurt.
This time, it's the closeness that hurts, the reason why she'd finally spoken up about it, because she wants so badly to understand him and that's so difficult to do when there are still things she hadn't known. Something like that, at least, and as Izou grips at her wrist, March stares up at him with widened eyes.
She doesn't mean to pull this kind of raw honesty out of him, knows he probably isn't fond of it either, but those words feel like they're echoing, sinking into more than just her ears.
How could this guy, man-slayer or not, ever think that killing was all he knew how to do when he could tell her right now that he cared about her this much? That that was why?
His hand around her wrist feels almost like a brand but she doesn't pull back. ]
It's hard to lose me. [ She'd told him that before. And she says it now, a little unsteadily, a flush from losing her temper still warming her cheeks. ]
And you--even if you're not around later, you're in front of me right now, aren't you?? You're letting me make memories with you right now, aren't you??
Even if you disappear or whatever, that doesn't make you any less important to me! And I'd never let that go, that I got to know you and befriend you and care about you just as much, whether you were dead or not!!
( the wind picks up, whipping away at what's left of the fabric of the shoji screen.
but izou stands resolute, his one visible eye fixed on her, unable to relax as his hand starts to grab the hilt of his blade so tightly that his fingertips might pierce his palm.
all-at-once, his head is starting to pound, the anger melting off his face. why's she... why's she so... )
I am. Right now, this Okada Izou... is the real deal, a man made 'a flesh standin' before a woman who's been kinder to me than... than anyone's ever been.
( he licks his lips, vulnerable and watched... but maybe not as vulnerable as march is, practically trembling before him as she shares her distress. )
But even then, you... you're cruel in yer own way, you know that? Sayin' stuff like "I'd never let that go," to a man you just consider a friend.
( the wounds have healed and the dried blood has vanished from his upper lip, march's touch now possessing the power to sustain life... to keep him alive, as it were, and really, isn't that warmth she's imparted a permanent part of him as well? or at least... it feels permanent in the moment, even if he's not sure if it'll last or what will happen if they manage to save mankind together.
what izou does know right now is how much he shook her up and hurt her, and how just looking into those eyes of hers that always seem to hold a sparkle makes him all stupid in the head with how badly he wants to comfort her through his mistake.
and so he tugs hard on her wrist, hoping to lift her into him if she lets him.
and so he leans in, too, if she'll let him, closing the gap between their faces with his teeth and his lips before izou can even think to stop himself. )
[ March is already on the verge of talking, fierceness softening into confusion, to ask what he means by cruel when she'd meant what she said and--
A lot of things cut her off midsentence: the way she's pulled up and against him so suddenly, her other hand clutching at his shoulder for balance. There's no real time to gasp until two seconds after he captures her mouth, which is definitely belated, but then again, so are her thoughts.
Which consist of the following in no particular order: Would've been nice if he'd let her get a sentence out, is this friendship behavior to him, no probably not, he's so warm, this was not an accidental trip or stumble, he's kissing her--
And inanely, March remembers the mission with him, the guy she hardly knew, and how her first thought had been that he had a face like a thundercloud. That's what it feels like now, like lightning racing down her spine, and maybe there's something dangerous about it, but also something exhilarating, but these are all thoughts that happen in an instant, colliding with each other and she hadn't taken a breath before he'd yanked her in. If she had, maybe she'd be able to...
...
She does have to breathe, drawing back, and her face is a brilliant red with her heart feeling like it's lodged in her throat. Somehow, she hadn't seen that coming, had dismissed Malkuth's suggestion sincerely because it had taken so long to befriend him, now that he had comfortably settled in that role of his own free will, surely anything else wasn't going to happen.
But it's a little hard to say that with any kind of confidence now, gazing up at that lone amber eye and fighting every single urge in her body to do That Shoujo Thing and touch her lips in shocked disbelief.
She refrains. ]
I--U-um--
[ Use your words, March. ]
W-wait, I thought you... that you didn't like... when it took so long for you to even call me a friend, I--
[ Nothing is making sense to her right now, except that she definitely feels far warmer than she usually does and her lips are still tingling. Had she missed something? How long had she missed this??
Izou, please explain, she's short-circuiting a bit. ]
( like always, he acts, regardless of what the other has to say, and in acting without thinking izou reveals his heart.
his mind doesn't ponder on a thing as his mouth pries hers open, but his body, at least, does its best not to overwhelm her with how sudden his want is. best being that he isn't leaning in harder when it comes to this stupid, blinding desire to taste her, both eyes closed as the rough stubble on his jaw brushes against her chin. what he can't help is how his kissing lacks finesse, how it's as warm and as hungry as the blade that he wields, and it's only when march breaks it due to a lack of air that izou's breaths come in ragged as well.
he draws back, just as flushed. )
Well, you... you know how I feel now, don't ya? That I—
( like you. like the way she didn't back down, that she caught the end of the cord that she'd unraveled from his chest to tug on it and force him to confront her. like the groove of her body against his and how those palms had felt against his face, and honestly, as all these feelings well up in his chest again, izou feels greedy, like he ought to steal another kiss from her.
the thought of rejection, though, keeps him at bay.
he releases his grip on her wrist, wresting himself away slightly from their contact to flick any remaining drops of blood on his sword to the floor before sheathing it. a convenient excuse to try and recollect himself, because... he seriously just kissed her. just like that. what the hell?
don't mind him while he has a little freak-out of his own, because what if he just ruined it all further? it only makes sense that march is stunned. )
You... You don't have to respond me on that end, or nothin'. Not when I'm the one who's got a lot of answering to do. Feels like all I've done since we met is apologize, but. I... m'sorry. I didn't think... I didn't think, and that's the problem.
[ March is silent as he speaks, thankfully spared from stammering even more, because full sentences just are not coming out as eloquently and flawlessly as she would have wanted them to.
Which is not how it tends to work in the movies, but maybe the female love interest also saw it coming or was dealing with unresolved feelings and longing or something. If anything, her mind just keeps replaying the last few minutes, over and over again, as though it's worried she's going to forget that. Of all things. As if Izou hadn't just gone from Very Good Friend to Guy Who Kissed Her Like He Needed It More Than Anything. Reconciling them into one thing feels a bit like trying to walk calmly head-first into a wall right now.
She knows how he feels now? More than she knows how she feels.
Finally, she speaks again. ]
I forgive you. I mean that. I didn't know you cared about me that much, but there's no way I could think you were lying about that.
[ Not after all of this?? ]
But I do want to--respond, I mean, I just-- [ Ah, and there's the stammering again, March lowering her eyes in thought. Being left unanswered... isn't something she could do, not to anyone she considered a friend. ]
Can you... give me some time? To... think things over. Unless you just wanted to get that out of your system and never talk about it again, but...
I wanna think about it properly. [ A pause, and then she sighs, a little aggravated at her own wording. ] About you properly.
( it's more than he expects to hear, and izou feels a tell-tale thump against his chest, one loud enough to have him raise his voice again even as it threatens to crack: )
Never talk about this again... ? Don't make it sound like I'm gonna disappear from your sight for good this very second. From the very beginnin', I said... I promised I wouldn't let anyone touch a hair on yer head, and even if I...
( a hand on the hilt of his sheathed steel tightens, the last words takechi-sensei spoke to him on that cobble-stone street of a singularity that didn't deserve to exist coming to mind.
"i want you to use your sword as it was meant to be.")
—even if I have to kill a guy to do it, I'll keep that promise, and I won't go nowhere.
( and then more pitifully, almost fidgeting in place in front of her, izou tries to swallow a sudden nervousness.
march's heated confessions from just minutes earlier had come rushing back to him at the speed a wave crashes against a coast. but he can't run from this, just like he couldn't run the last time she confronted him, and so...
he raises his attention from the floor to her, giving her the hesitant gaze of a dog that's been scolded—a much weaker izou, tripping on himself and this vulnerability he's kept hidden from most. )
... I'll wait for you. Just ... tell me you won't go avoiding me or nothin', no matter what way you feel about it. I don't know if I could take losin' you too. Not after how... how much I enjoy just bein' around you.
[ With absolutely no hesitation, March reaches out, hooking her finger around the one not currently clutching at the hilt of his blade. A single up-and-down motion. And, very firmly-- ]
I promise I'm not going to avoid you. You're still the same guy I like spending time with, you know? The one I've always felt safe with even though-- [ and there's a stern edge here ] I can take care of myself.
[ She doesn't need him to kill a guy! ]
That includes being able to handle whatever painful things you think might hurt my feelings. I can carry a lot more than most people think I can.
[ And do it with a smile, no less.
Another firm shake of their pinkies before she lets go. The expression on his face is heartbreaking, enough to make her want to wrap her arms around him and hug him as tightly as she can...
But the emotions are still running rampant right now, and it's probably not a good idea. Even she knows that. ]
Don't worry. Believe me, I'm not the type to run away.
[ If he can trust her. If he can't, she'll prove that much herself. ]
( izou watches the soft shake of their little promise, struck by how the motion works to relax him a little. he's never done something like this before, this childish little gesture... and if he weren't already embarrassed by this situation he caused, then it might've gotten a laugh out of him. for now, it's almost charming.
and while all he ever did in life and in this second one so far is show off his faults, march's declaration that she can take care of things in the face of his offer seizes him right in the heart. that's right. this whole time, she's been headstrong, meeting every obstacle he's thrown at her. of course she can take care of herself.
but even so... his chest swells with the desire for this to last, willing himself not to flinch away from her determined gaze. )
Y-Yeah. Then... like I said, take yer time. I'm obviously not gonna... rush you or anything. And I'll...
( he'll berate himself for his weakness later. he'll deal with each wave of frustration later.
right now, all he cares about is how he's all flustered skin and thumping heartbeat over her little pledge with him.
like he still has a chance. )
Whatever you wanna know about me from now on, I'll do my best to answer ya in kind. I owe you that much, after all this.
[ It's fine, the panic and alarm will also set in later, even though she's bought herself some time to process it. And she'll be thankful to herself that she did, because if her thoughts are a bit of a mess now, they're sure not going to be any less tangled hours from now.
She's coming from this encounter a lot more frazzled and overwhelmed than she'd expected to be, but the original problem was resolved. He's willing to be more open with her, and he hadn't been before because he hadn't wanted to hurt her. It's not a light offer he's pushing forward to her, and she knows it and appreciates it, dipping her head a little with a smile. ]
Got it. Then I'll look forward to getting to know you even better. Kinda wish I could do the same, but... my options are sort of limited.
[ No backstory, stuck in the now. But she'd answer anything he wanted to know, too. ]
( the guilt doesn't hang as heavy as it did the first few times she casually mentioned her lack of things to look back on, but it still gives him pause in the cool of the passageway. touching no longer, and yet still close enough for him to watch her out the corner of his eye, to search her face for even the slightest hint of further upset.
but what he finds is a smile on march's face, and izou, remembering just moments ago the weight of that tightened fist against his chest and what it felt like to kiss those lips of hers cooled by the cold of the rain, tries to manage one for her in return.
he can't seem to do it, though. not right now. not while he's still trying to parse everything that just happened, and what might happen, and whatever the hell he's supposed to do now. wait, like he said, but...
what's a dead man like himself pushing these feelings on her for?
if izou were alone, he might be holding his head in frustration right about now. but the undeniable fondness he feels in her presence is still there, growing stronger by the second, and—
as the shoji screen finally breaks proper, he raises his arm with an irritated click of the tongue to shield himself from an incoming torrent of rain. )
I'm gonna give this place one more look-over, make sure there ain't anything hiding further back. Better to take cover in here until the storm passes completely anyhow.
[ March yelps a little as the rain comes sweeping in, going from Mildly Damp to Definitely Soaked in a matter of seconds. Which is not the most pleasant feeling and she backs away from the immediate opening. ]
Yeah, good idea. I'll...
[ ... Go with him? She'd promised not to avoid him, and she doesn't intend to, even though it's not exactly going to be the easiest thing to continue As Normal. But maybe right now, they do need to take a bit of time to cool their heads.
At least she needs to get to the point that she can look directly at Izou without turning red, drawn back into the last few minutes far too easily, and who even knows how much is flying through his mind right now. ]
... Go see if I can find a good place in here for us to wait out the storm. Most of it's been cleared out, so I should be fine.
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synflux2024-04-30 06:51 pm
no subject
but what really gives him pause, drops of red receding from the cuts down his forearm and back as everything begins to graft and heal, is the seriousness of her gaze. )
Well, you got my attention. Obviously. What's on your mind?
( there's the rumbling of thunder in the distance briefly, a sign that the rain isn't letting up anytime soon. )
no subject
She should be able to release him in a few more seconds, but for now, her hands remain where they are. She's not sure what kind of answer she wants from him, at this moment. Maybe she just wants an answer at all.
Finally, after a pause-- ]
The good and the bad, Izou. I told you that, remember? Whatever being your friend came with.
[ And there's a flicker of hurt in her eyes as she stares at him now. ]
So why didn't you tell me you were dead? Why did I have to hear it from Malkuth?
( 1 / 2 )
but that doesn't prepare him for what she says next.
"why didn't you tell me you were dead?"
izou freezes, instantly, face blanched with surprise. )
( 2 / 2 )
and march's hands are gentle, just like her voice even as she calls out his reluctance to tell her all this time that he's more a phantom than a person. just a concept from a bygone era, and maybe it's that gentleness to her that makes the wave of guilt so heavy.
why... why's she gotta keep a hold on his face for?
izou tries to tilt his head away only to be met with the press of her palm against his cheek. a reminder. and then, through a grimace and a furrowed brow of his own, he stares down at march's face and the shape of her features. )
What I tell Malkuth's... my own business. But I didn't keep it from you all this time to hurt ya. You've gotta... You've gotta trust me on that.
( is making excuses... all he's good for?
but this is man-slayer izou, and the blood drying on the floor beneath them serves as a reminder, too. )
1/2
And March draws both hands back as he speaks. He's not wrong. What he tells Malkuth is his own business. What he doesn't tell her is also up to him. But there's that same sharp ache in her chest from before, prompting her to rest one of her hands against her heart again because she thought, maybe. Maybe that would stop once she knew the answer. Or maybe she'd been wrong.
But he'd just said it. That he had kept it from her. And she-- ]
I know you didn't do it to hurt me. But it...
[ It hurts. Right now, it hurts, and she squeezes her eyes closed.
No, that's not all she has to say about this, does she?
A shaky, shivery exhale. ]
2/3 just kidding
Maybe that had been the problem. Maybe he thought she was delicate.
Well, screw that, and instead of a hand over her chest, it's a fist over his. It's not really a punch, honestly, it's just contact. But from the tension in it, it's perhaps apparent that she'd be shaking him by the civilian clothes if he had them on right now. ]
I'm--not stupid, you know? I knew there were times you'd start to say something and then stop and I figured it was fine, you'd tell me when you were ready, but you never did! And I don't know! I don't know if it's because you trust Malkuth more or because you think I can't handle it or because you think I'm weak, because I can't read your mind!! You being dead hurts, of course it does, but if it's true that you kept it from me to, to--for my own good--!!
[ It's the same. It's the same as what the messenger had said. Poor little March 7th, named herself after a date, should not be exposed to pain and sorrow, the harsher edges of a truth, because isn't it better that way?
She doesn't want to believe that. But-- ]
3/3
[ It's angry. It's desperate. She's aware of how she sounds and maybe that's pathetic, but she chokes those words out anyway. ]
At the very least, tell me to my face that you don't have that kind of faith in me!!
no subject
not when march's upset hits him in waves.
not when the mortifying realization of how he hadn't been discreet in the least in hiding something from her hit like that monstrous kaijuu had soared straight into the mucked up dirt—hard, and with little to no grace whatsoever. izou's teeth grit, because who's the real idiot here? here he'd been, keeping this little detail about himself a secret out of a supposed concern for march, doing the thing he hated most that others had done to him most convincingly in keeping him out of the loop, and now...
for a short, blissful period, it felt like he had been on top of things.
but maybe this is why... this is why they thought him a liability back then, because he just didn't get it. and maybe this is why he couldn't keep people at his side, when he was bound to ruin his relationships with his crudeness and stupidity. if izou could just... trust march like she trusts him, that balled fist against his chest so much smaller than his but just as forceful, then maybe this confrontation wouldn't have happened. maybe he could've prevented himself from seeing march so disturbed over a man who couldn't even handle telling a cute girl who opened her heart to him that he had a gravesite. that he had stared at the sky that day, malnourished and empty and ready to be done with this world that refused to let him go no matter how many names he spat out.
his face scrunches up in anger unintentionally, a redness rising to his cheeks. )
How'd you... How'd you get it in your head that I told her all that 'cause I trust her more? That isn't true. If anything, I told her 'cause it was easier. Just 'cause it came out when I felt like I didn't have anything to worry about.
( his free hand, the one that hasn't been holding steel this whole time, reaches up to grip tight at the wrist that march has planted against him.
now he's the one stammering back at her, expressive in the sense that he's clearly trying his best not to snap. no woman has ever confronted him like this before, not even his master, and this is where the comparisons fold completely. )
But maybe, I... maybe it's true I went and kept it from you, thinkin' you didn't need to hear it. That I didn't want the girl who told me she's missin' memories to know she was talkin' to a guy who might not even be around later. I shoulda just, told you there and then before it came to this. But how could I—
( he bares his teeth, pained by the mess he's made and by the hurt in march's expression. the rain, ever tenacious, remains beautifully cool. )
How am I 'sposed to bring it up when I care about you this damn much? Huh?!
no subject
This time, it's the closeness that hurts, the reason why she'd finally spoken up about it, because she wants so badly to understand him and that's so difficult to do when there are still things she hadn't known. Something like that, at least, and as Izou grips at her wrist, March stares up at him with widened eyes.
She doesn't mean to pull this kind of raw honesty out of him, knows he probably isn't fond of it either, but those words feel like they're echoing, sinking into more than just her ears.
How could this guy, man-slayer or not, ever think that killing was all he knew how to do when he could tell her right now that he cared about her this much? That that was why?
His hand around her wrist feels almost like a brand but she doesn't pull back. ]
It's hard to lose me. [ She'd told him that before. And she says it now, a little unsteadily, a flush from losing her temper still warming her cheeks. ]
And you--even if you're not around later, you're in front of me right now, aren't you?? You're letting me make memories with you right now, aren't you??
Even if you disappear or whatever, that doesn't make you any less important to me! And I'd never let that go, that I got to know you and befriend you and care about you just as much, whether you were dead or not!!
no subject
but izou stands resolute, his one visible eye fixed on her, unable to relax as his hand starts to grab the hilt of his blade so tightly that his fingertips might pierce his palm.
all-at-once, his head is starting to pound, the anger melting off his face. why's she... why's she so... )
I am. Right now, this Okada Izou... is the real deal, a man made 'a flesh standin' before a woman who's been kinder to me than... than anyone's ever been.
( he licks his lips, vulnerable and watched... but maybe not as vulnerable as march is, practically trembling before him as she shares her distress. )
But even then, you... you're cruel in yer own way, you know that? Sayin' stuff like "I'd never let that go," to a man you just consider a friend.
( the wounds have healed and the dried blood has vanished from his upper lip, march's touch now possessing the power to sustain life... to keep him alive, as it were, and really, isn't that warmth she's imparted a permanent part of him as well? or at least... it feels permanent in the moment, even if he's not sure if it'll last or what will happen if they manage to save mankind together.
what izou does know right now is how much he shook her up and hurt her, and how just looking into those eyes of hers that always seem to hold a sparkle makes him all stupid in the head with how badly he wants to comfort her through his mistake.
and so he tugs hard on her wrist, hoping to lift her into him if she lets him.
and so he leans in, too, if she'll let him, closing the gap between their faces with his teeth and his lips before izou can even think to stop himself. )
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A lot of things cut her off midsentence: the way she's pulled up and against him so suddenly, her other hand clutching at his shoulder for balance. There's no real time to gasp until two seconds after he captures her mouth, which is definitely belated, but then again, so are her thoughts.
Which consist of the following in no particular order: Would've been nice if he'd let her get a sentence out, is this friendship behavior to him, no probably not, he's so warm, this was not an accidental trip or stumble, he's kissing her--
And inanely, March remembers the mission with him, the guy she hardly knew, and how her first thought had been that he had a face like a thundercloud. That's what it feels like now, like lightning racing down her spine, and maybe there's something dangerous about it, but also something exhilarating, but these are all thoughts that happen in an instant, colliding with each other and she hadn't taken a breath before he'd yanked her in. If she had, maybe she'd be able to...
...
She does have to breathe, drawing back, and her face is a brilliant red with her heart feeling like it's lodged in her throat. Somehow, she hadn't seen that coming, had dismissed Malkuth's suggestion sincerely because it had taken so long to befriend him, now that he had comfortably settled in that role of his own free will, surely anything else wasn't going to happen.
But it's a little hard to say that with any kind of confidence now, gazing up at that lone amber eye and fighting every single urge in her body to do That Shoujo Thing and touch her lips in shocked disbelief.
She refrains. ]
I--U-um--
[ Use your words, March. ]
W-wait, I thought you... that you didn't like... when it took so long for you to even call me a friend, I--
[ Nothing is making sense to her right now, except that she definitely feels far warmer than she usually does and her lips are still tingling. Had she missed something? How long had she missed this??
Izou, please explain, she's short-circuiting a bit. ]
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his mind doesn't ponder on a thing as his mouth pries hers open, but his body, at least, does its best not to overwhelm her with how sudden his want is. best being that he isn't leaning in harder when it comes to this stupid, blinding desire to taste her, both eyes closed as the rough stubble on his jaw brushes against her chin. what he can't help is how his kissing lacks finesse, how it's as warm and as hungry as the blade that he wields, and it's only when march breaks it due to a lack of air that izou's breaths come in ragged as well.
he draws back, just as flushed. )
Well, you... you know how I feel now, don't ya? That I—
( like you. like the way she didn't back down, that she caught the end of the cord that she'd unraveled from his chest to tug on it and force him to confront her. like the groove of her body against his and how those palms had felt against his face, and honestly, as all these feelings well up in his chest again, izou feels greedy, like he ought to steal another kiss from her.
the thought of rejection, though, keeps him at bay.
he releases his grip on her wrist, wresting himself away slightly from their contact to flick any remaining drops of blood on his sword to the floor before sheathing it. a convenient excuse to try and recollect himself, because... he seriously just kissed her. just like that. what the hell?
don't mind him while he has a little freak-out of his own, because what if he just ruined it all further? it only makes sense that march is stunned. )
You... You don't have to respond me on that end, or nothin'. Not when I'm the one who's got a lot of answering to do. Feels like all I've done since we met is apologize, but. I... m'sorry. I didn't think... I didn't think, and that's the problem.
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Which is not how it tends to work in the movies, but maybe the female love interest also saw it coming or was dealing with unresolved feelings and longing or something. If anything, her mind just keeps replaying the last few minutes, over and over again, as though it's worried she's going to forget that. Of all things. As if Izou hadn't just gone from Very Good Friend to Guy Who Kissed Her Like He Needed It More Than Anything. Reconciling them into one thing feels a bit like trying to walk calmly head-first into a wall right now.
She knows how he feels now? More than she knows how she feels.
Finally, she speaks again. ]
I forgive you. I mean that. I didn't know you cared about me that much, but there's no way I could think you were lying about that.
[ Not after all of this?? ]
But I do want to--respond, I mean, I just-- [ Ah, and there's the stammering again, March lowering her eyes in thought. Being left unanswered... isn't something she could do, not to anyone she considered a friend. ]
Can you... give me some time? To... think things over. Unless you just wanted to get that out of your system and never talk about it again, but...
I wanna think about it properly. [ A pause, and then she sighs, a little aggravated at her own wording. ] About you properly.
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Never talk about this again... ? Don't make it sound like I'm gonna disappear from your sight for good this very second. From the very beginnin', I said... I promised I wouldn't let anyone touch a hair on yer head, and even if I...
( a hand on the hilt of his sheathed steel tightens, the last words takechi-sensei spoke to him on that cobble-stone street of a singularity that didn't deserve to exist coming to mind.
"i want you to use your sword as it was meant to be." )
—even if I have to kill a guy to do it, I'll keep that promise, and I won't go nowhere.
( and then more pitifully, almost fidgeting in place in front of her, izou tries to swallow a sudden nervousness.
march's heated confessions from just minutes earlier had come rushing back to him at the speed a wave crashes against a coast. but he can't run from this, just like he couldn't run the last time she confronted him, and so...
he raises his attention from the floor to her, giving her the hesitant gaze of a dog that's been scolded—a much weaker izou, tripping on himself and this vulnerability he's kept hidden from most. )
... I'll wait for you. Just ... tell me you won't go avoiding me or nothin', no matter what way you feel about it. I don't know if I could take losin' you too. Not after how... how much I enjoy just bein' around you.
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[ With absolutely no hesitation, March reaches out, hooking her finger around the one not currently clutching at the hilt of his blade. A single up-and-down motion. And, very firmly-- ]
I promise I'm not going to avoid you. You're still the same guy I like spending time with, you know? The one I've always felt safe with even though-- [ and there's a stern edge here ] I can take care of myself.
[ She doesn't need him to kill a guy! ]
That includes being able to handle whatever painful things you think might hurt my feelings. I can carry a lot more than most people think I can.
[ And do it with a smile, no less.
Another firm shake of their pinkies before she lets go. The expression on his face is heartbreaking, enough to make her want to wrap her arms around him and hug him as tightly as she can...
But the emotions are still running rampant right now, and it's probably not a good idea. Even she knows that. ]
Don't worry. Believe me, I'm not the type to run away.
[ If he can trust her. If he can't, she'll prove that much herself. ]
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and while all he ever did in life and in this second one so far is show off his faults, march's declaration that she can take care of things in the face of his offer seizes him right in the heart. that's right. this whole time, she's been headstrong, meeting every obstacle he's thrown at her. of course she can take care of herself.
but even so... his chest swells with the desire for this to last, willing himself not to flinch away from her determined gaze. )
Y-Yeah. Then... like I said, take yer time. I'm obviously not gonna... rush you or anything. And I'll...
( he'll berate himself for his weakness later. he'll deal with each wave of frustration later.
right now, all he cares about is how he's all flustered skin and thumping heartbeat over her little pledge with him.
like he still has a chance. )
Whatever you wanna know about me from now on, I'll do my best to answer ya in kind. I owe you that much, after all this.
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She's coming from this encounter a lot more frazzled and overwhelmed than she'd expected to be, but the original problem was resolved. He's willing to be more open with her, and he hadn't been before because he hadn't wanted to hurt her. It's not a light offer he's pushing forward to her, and she knows it and appreciates it, dipping her head a little with a smile. ]
Got it. Then I'll look forward to getting to know you even better. Kinda wish I could do the same, but... my options are sort of limited.
[ No backstory, stuck in the now. But she'd answer anything he wanted to know, too. ]
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but what he finds is a smile on march's face, and izou, remembering just moments ago the weight of that tightened fist against his chest and what it felt like to kiss those lips of hers cooled by the cold of the rain, tries to manage one for her in return.
he can't seem to do it, though. not right now. not while he's still trying to parse everything that just happened, and what might happen, and whatever the hell he's supposed to do now. wait, like he said, but...
what's a dead man like himself pushing these feelings on her for?
if izou were alone, he might be holding his head in frustration right about now. but the undeniable fondness he feels in her presence is still there, growing stronger by the second, and—
as the shoji screen finally breaks proper, he raises his arm with an irritated click of the tongue to shield himself from an incoming torrent of rain. )
I'm gonna give this place one more look-over, make sure there ain't anything hiding further back. Better to take cover in here until the storm passes completely anyhow.
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Yeah, good idea. I'll...
[ ... Go with him? She'd promised not to avoid him, and she doesn't intend to, even though it's not exactly going to be the easiest thing to continue As Normal. But maybe right now, they do need to take a bit of time to cool their heads.
At least she needs to get to the point that she can look directly at Izou without turning red, drawn back into the last few minutes far too easily, and who even knows how much is flying through his mind right now. ]
... Go see if I can find a good place in here for us to wait out the storm. Most of it's been cleared out, so I should be fine.