synflux | (OTA + CLOSED) if i cannot move heaven

[Ishmael finds herself wandering into a memory. A memory of two men.]

[One is shorter, with pitch-black hair, and a lackadaisical grin. The other is Vergilius - a little younger, not so weary. He smiles. It's rare that he smiles.They both can look into each other's eyes. The talk continues. The unfamiliar man just got married, it seems, wanting to look into moving into a Nest for his new life. He asks a question of Vergilius- "So, what's your desire? People who've risen to a certain status always want at least one thing 'cause that's how they crawled their way up."]

[Vergilius replies, a little curious:]

...Didn't you say this was your last job?

[As much as they're familiar with each other, it seems they've barely worked with one another. The man confirms it is indeed his last job. That seems to satisfy Vergilius, who looks at him, opens his mouth-]

[And it seems he explains what his desire is. However, it can't be heard, like static. The Fixer gawks at him.]

...Seriously?

Yes.

"That's unexpected. I don't understand why everyone who gets a Color ends up having a screw loose, without exception."

[And then a pause, and a laugh.]

Well, yeah, but considering it's you, it might not be impossible...! [Another pause.] But don't take everything so seriously. That's that, and this is this.

[The memory fades, like mist in the wind. But even with this breather, it seems Vergilius is tense, like something else is coming.]

[ you know, the sinner have always wondered if they'd ever venture into the fathoms of vergilius's ego one day. who's to say that a golden bough might resonate with him in the future?

but there's no golden bough here. just an old, sepia-colored memory of vergilius and a friend. said friend was married, which makes ishmael wonder how people in the City can even think about tying the knot if they keep risking dying all the time. she'd leaned in just to hear what vergilius was whispering to the friend, but no dice.

she might find out what it is in the next segment. maybe she won't either way, the memory fades, and ishmael is stuck in the darkness. vergilius is right there, looking... sort of anxious? that's no good. she's going to approach him carefully, like one would a wild animal. ]

[He doesn't flinch, but only his eyes move to fix on her, a little too robotic.]

...Ishmael.

[He looks like he's about to say something else, but-]

[The memshare comes, like a nauseating wave. The darkness persists.]

[In the corner is a man in a mask. And the bloodlust wafting off of him is enough to make the nerve twitch, the senses go numb. The sound of a piano echoes, discordant.]

[The man speaks, with malice and hate and a foul stench of blood.]

Red Gaze, were you involved in this incident?

[Vergilius doesn't move. Doesn't look at the man. There's a certain tension here, of course, like he's ready to fight off a rabid animal. But his eyes are unmistakenly filled with sincere sorrow as he replies, quietly.]

I've been informed of what happened, and I feel sorry for it. But I'm also curious as to why you believe I was involved in that.

...You feel sorry? Quit it with this worthless speech.

[The Red Gaze stands like a ghost, pained and withered.]

Red Gaze, you once told me about the world you desired...

[Vergilius starts, as if defending himself.]

It's because of that conversation we've had in the past that I'll point out that you've got it completely wrong. That was nothing more than a dream I once had. I can't even begin to put it into practice... It's merely an ideal.

[The man in the mask, a murderer to his core, stands for a moment.]

[And then leaves, with a deeply hoarse voice, disappearing into the darkness he belongs to.]

You'd better be telling the truth.

[Even as the dream fades, Vergilius reaches up a scarred hand to clutch at his face, tormented, speaking a miserable reply that goes unheard.]

...If such a world really came to pass, even you as you are now would be at peace.

[ there's... a lot to process here, but as with all encounters in anyone's fathoms of ego, there's nothing ishmael can do to step in and stop the things that had already transpired long ago. the dissonant piano plays, a melody that shouldn't be familiar to her but everyone knows the manifestation of the first distortion in the city. but more than that, the guy in the mask...

the memory fades away, as they always do, and ishmael finds vergilius there with an unreadable look on his face. the final words he said rings in her mind. ]

Vergilius... [ she hesitates. ] Was that... the Pianist incident?

[ let's start there first. ]

[Roland. Roland. Roland. Where is he now? The Library? Somewhere else?]

[He glances at Ishmael, but even being brought to reality doesn't seem to ease his torment.]

Yes. He was. He was....the one who caused the bloodbath after that Pianist appeared.

[ the bloodbath... she tries to remember what happened back then, but it's hard when all you could think about was vengeance.

maybe that's why she felt for him. the one they call-- ]

The Black Silence. [ she can feel her blood run cold. ] I don't know much about him, other than killing a whole bunch of people since the Pianist manifested. He just disappeared, right?

Yes. His wife was murdered when the Pianist appeared. So he took it all into his own hands.

[Not just the Pianist, but so many others, sinful and innocent. Nobody could stand in his way.]

[The fact that he left Vergilius alone...]

No one knew what happened after that. Though....if I heard it correctly, he may have showed up at the Library and worked there.

The Library?!

[ and if vergilius said that he worked there, that means he wasn't booked. that he was working with the likes of malkuth and gebura. but why?

it's not like she can get answers from the guy himself though. maybe one day. they did manage to bring back the red mist here somehow, after all. ]

...I feel for him. It's really common, isn't it? Lashing out at the world because the people you love are gone just like that. [ a shaky laugh. ] He even spared you too, somehow.

...I remembered him at a moment where I lost everything, too. I know how he feels.

[But he was stopped. He didn't go through with it. The last statement makes him grimace, a little pained.]

I...didn't even think he'd remember something like that.

[ ...of course vergilius had lost everyone once. seems like everyone on the bus had gone through that. ]

This dream of yours... What was it, exactly?

...It's not for you to know.

[It isn't important for her to know.]

But I....wanted to change the world. The City. Somehow.

You wanted to change the world...

[ ... ]

For that guy?

[ 🤨🏳️‍🌈❓ ]

...

[A little groan.]

More than "that guy". Come on [A beat.] His name is Roland.

Roland...

[ roland... the black silence....... ]

But wait. The Library's gone in our timeline. Does that mean that he also went away?

[He shrugs.]

I wouldn't know. That was the last time I saw him, anyhow. The fact that he was in the Library was a surprise to me.

I see.

[ timeline shit is SOOOOO CONFUSING ugh. once again she wishes faust were here to explain all this. ]

Well, nothing we can do about that now. Except...

[ she can't help but smile - a teasing one. ]

Just be fortunate that I'm the only one who got to see your fathoms of ego. The others would never have let you live this down.

[Now he's REALLY making a face.]

Live this down, how? It's just a memory.

[TOTALLY NOT GAY YEARNING OR ANYTHING]

Just the fact that you're pretty idealistic all the way down.

[ a sardonic chuckle. ]

You know how it's practically impossible to change the City we live in.

I know it is.

[Of course he knows, but.........]

I can't...help it. I can't.

No one can. But we have to be realistic about this. Not even the Red Mist was able to do anything about it, you know.

[ but this topic is getting too grim, so she's going to nip this on the bud. ]

Anyway, I won't tell anyone what I just saw. You can count on me with that.

...You don't have to tell me twice.

[It makes him feel all the more annoyed. Of course it is. He's glad for her putting an end to it, that roiling anger below always present.]

Thanks. That...means a lot, Ishmael.

(OTA + CLOSED) if i cannot move heaven

CLOSED - WITH ISHMAEL (LIBRARY OF RUINA SPOILERS)

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