( closed ) life like the unplumbed sea;

[transmit]

WHO: Elysium & friends(?)
WHAT: This is now just a catch-all for everything
WHERE: Everywhere
WHEN: 2024
WARNINGS: Blanket warning for possible explorations of dark themes in general, please tread at your own risk. I will, however, endeavour to include specifics in headers if applicable.

Comments

[transmit]

Think like that and you're bound to burn yourself out.

[ A nudge of their shoulders, careful not to disrupt their rods. ]

… And yet, it is always easier said than done, believing that any amount of effort's ever enough for what's important to you. … Telling yourself that you did all you could, over and over. [ … ] Sometimes that's all you got to keep yourself going.

[ Voice wistful, scantly louder than the flowing river. Kicking back, he holds her gaze through a sidelong glance. ]

Go ahead.

[wheft]

Speaking from experience, are we?

[ a little quip before she sighs, turning her gaze towards the river. ]

Her name was Queequeg. She was my dear friend on the Pequod.

I think I already told you about the details about Ahab before, but being under her rule on that ship was stifling - as though the horrors we'd encountered in the Lake to make a living weren't enough. And Queequeg had known this this, so she'd built herself a coffin for contingency. A coffin so sturdy that it would not sink no matter how much the Waves rocked the boat in the event that she died.

So we set our sights on a Whale that Ahab had been hunting for Wings know when. It was our given right to hunt it down, after all -- it was one of the Five Calamities of the Great Lake, and by killing it, we could finally put an end to everyone's suffering, including our own. [ she scoffs. ]

We were no match for the Whale the first time. It destroyed the Pequod in one go, and before I knew it, I was barely hanging on to Queequeg's coffin.

[ the "hearse". she stares down at her hands, weather-worn from hanging onto the ropes of the coffin to the point where her palms had bled open. ]

I was the only one who survived. Or so I thought.

[transmit]

[ Ishmael looks away, and so does Elysium out of respect. That's a rhetoric question if he's ever heard one, his speaking from experience, so he simply gives her passage to segue into her tale, quiet save for the occasional cast and reel of his fishing line.

There's a lot to consider, from the story itself to the significance of her decision to share it with him now, of all times. It weighs heavily, alongside everything else that has accumulated over time—others' expectations of him, and his own expectations of himself, someone who'd never meant to be a constant in anyone's lives but ultimately became one, anyway. ]

Or so you thought. And that's where your captain not being as 'cracked up to be' comes into play, I presume.

[ and what she'd wanted to kill her for, but that part remains unsaid. Four months ago, was it? When they'd first and last spoke of her captain specifically, and a little over a month when he'd seen the flash of raw emotion she'd displayed when he'd called himself a member of her crew.

In a way, it feels both distant and recent. Elysium had never anticipated remaining long enough to hear the rest of his story, and yet his memories would always be vivid in the sense most events would feel as if they'd unfolded just the other day anyway. Despite her shifting beside him, he keeps his gaze fixed straight ahead, brows creased in thought.

It's no surprise, then. Her desperation to find Wriothesley. The way she had carried herself, so listlessly—eventually finding something to hold onto, only to lose it—was the very image of something he never wanted to become. Admirable and frightening. Enviable and detestable. Is it really a wonder why he finds her so strong? ]

So then what?

[wheft]

[ she exhales. the fact that she's able to tell someone about queequeg without breaking down is already a feat for her, tbh. she's truly come so far. ]

Long story short, I found her again. Only to loser her again the second time. I was... devastated, of course. But over time I realized that I needed to move on and let go instead of letting my obsession rule my life. It's... what she would've wanted.

[ "chart your own way. your path. that is my wish." she'd sworn she'd heard queequeg say that, long after her last breath, as ishmael pierced the heart of the whale. and wriothesley had offered to chart a course with her too, when they'd confessed to one another. ]

But until I find Wriothesley again, I can't let him go. That's why we can't give up.

[ she turns to him again, a silent determination burning in her gaze. ]

And you're going to help me. Can I count on you?

[transmit]

[ What a wonder it is to repeatedly face devastating losses and yet still find the strength to pick oneself up time and time again. He doesn't need to face her to know what expression she's wearing—he's known her long enough to grasp her convictions and her fierce determination that burns as brightly, if not more so, than her hair. Yet, he looks, because he both hears and feels that kindled and ever-growing intensity directed towards him.

The real question is whether it's something that will continue to burn bright or reduce everything in its wake to ash. Of which, he doesn't really have an answer for. Eventually: ]

… We can't. Give up, that is. [ There's a lengthier pause as he closes his eyes to inhale sharply, only to exhale a sardonic laugh. ] Because… [ … ] There's someone I've promised to be there for, too.

[ Not in as explicit or uncertain words, but… he's reeling in his line to curl his fist a little more tightly. In comparison to her resolve, there's no denying that his own pales in comparison. Still, it didn't necessarily mean he'd give it any less than his best. ]

So, I'm not exactly doing this entirely selflessly, even if Wriothesley's one of the ones I hope we find. I hope we're able to find everyone, but I do have something of a personal stake in this. [ 'something of.' a little like it's a bad thing that he does. a little like he wish he hadn't, buried under the many layers of his forced nonchalance. ]

Even if I didn't, though——for sure. Life's the last thing I'll take half-heartedly.

[ as his medication sits in his pocket, untouched. ]

[wheft]

[ damn..... she gains a moment of clarity for a hot second, and she's about to ask him who it is. malkuth, probably. she doesn't want to think about her grudge right now, not until she's fed up six days from now. ]

Selflessly or not, it doesn't matter what you're doing this for as long as we can get to them before disaster strikes.

[ whatever that may be. her mind couldn't stop cooking worst-case scenarios, but even someone like her, who thought she'd seen the worst the City has to offer, is drawing up a blank. just what kind of nefarious schemes a little backwater town like this has in store for twenty or so people that aren't being managed by a corporation?

but before she can dwell on it any longer, something tugs at her line, and she reels it in and catches... a largemouth bass. tfw im using stardew valley fish here ]

Hm. Looks like I still got it. [ there's a small smile as she shows ely her catch. ] Thanks, though. For hearing me out. Not even Wriothesley knew her name.

[transmit]

[ girl, if it were malkuth she wouldn't even be hearing about this right now. the last thing he wants to do is navigate their complicated relationship, much less remind her of it during a sensitive time……

little does she know, the entire incident ranks so low among the things he's experienced that he doesn't even consider it worth clarifying. woops. ]

Sure. I just thought it'd be extra security to let you to know.

[ meanwhile, there's me, being vague as hell with his catches even after i'd spent ten minutes researching the type of fish they'd find in transylvania. starts crying. yeah, let's go with that. bass for all ]

… But, anytime. The stars don't have to be out for me to lend you an ear. [ a smile back, and he sits up to offer her another hand. ] Let's head back so we can do exactly that. Find him before disaster strikes.