[Closed]

[the_fourteenth]

WHO: Raidou Kuzunoha & Yuji Itadori
WHAT: A surprise!
WHERE: Hanabi Izakaya
WHEN: 05/13/78
WARNINGS: N/A




In the morning, Yuji will get a text:

Are you free today? Around 5PM? Could you stop by the izakaya if so?

[If Yuji is indeed free, when he arrives at the bar, Raidou is waiting by the door. Instead of wearing his usual cook's uniform, he's wearing something a little nicer; just a button down shirt and dress slacks, all black as usual though. As always, Yuji is greeted with a bright smile.]

Hi. Thanks for coming.

Comments

[the_fourteenth]

[He listens quietly, unable to argue with those points.]

... Nanami had told me something similar.

[This is a team, and everyone wants to keep each other safe. That he owed his teammates protection as much as they owe it to him.]

It's hard for me to think otherwise. I... was trained that way, knowing the day would come when I could potentially take up my title. That I would no longer be anything but Kuzunoha Raidou, the Capital's summoner. My will for others.

[He's really trying, too. He's made a little progress, but he has a long way to go. Those insecurities from his failures at home and near-failures here continue to haunt him almost every day.

His next admission is a quiet one.]

... I just don't want you to have to worry about me.

[eyescar]

[ The reminder of Nanami is an echoing sting, like someone has taken his heart into their hands and squeezed it gently, but Yuji forces himself to keep going, to not let himself sink into that grief right now. The loss isn't fresh, so it's like picking at a scab. ]

Nanamin was always pretty sensible about this stuff.

[ Closing his eyes, Yuji hums a little, trying to pick the best words. The right ones. He's not great at comforting people, he doesn't think, but he can try. ]

I knew from the moment I became a sorcerer that I was destined to die, so I wanted to give it my all. If I could help people and protect them, then I'd have been happy with that, so I understand. Fighting for others is the reason I am surviving right now.

[ Haltingly, awkwardly, feeling that age-old hurt and pain, Yuji blinks his eyes rapidly. ]

Even if you were the strongest in the world, I'd still worry about you, Johei.

[the_fourteenth]

[Of course Yuji would still worry, the same way Raidou worries about him despite how strong Yuji is. He feels foolish, now, having said it.

He feels badly seeing Yuji struggling to hold back, and Raidou squeezes his hand and tugs him just a little closer. He thinks he has his answer now, at least.

He can't stand to see Yuji go through what he did when battling the yama-denki again. His heart aches just thinking about it. Choso warned him that it will continue no matter if Raidou was there or not.]

Perhaps back home, those were our destinies. I don't want it to be the same while here, however long it might be. We deserve the chance to live now. Don't we?

[Raidou finally turns to look at him, as of searching Yuji for an answer.]

[eyescar]

Johei... My destiny is to die.

[ Yuji lifts his head, watching for a moment. He's talked around the subject before, been honest about it, but this... This is the first time he's addressed it so explicitly, he thinks. The first time he's been plain about it. ]

Dying to kill Sukuna, or dying fighting Sukuna, that's my role. Higuruma-san and I talked about it before the fight started, that... If it was our place to die in this fight, that would be okay. I'll do that, if it means saving the people I care about.

[ Megumi, he means. As if there's anyone else left for him to care that deeply for, with all the deaths. ]

Being here is a break, and I want to use it to get stronger, and that means doing the things that I can do. And it means doing the things you can do, too, with your strength. I want you to be happy, in this place.

[ Leaning in, he touches his forehead against Raidou's. ]

Living or dying... Maybe I'll be okay with either. But no matter what, I'll keep protecting you. I want to live with you and the others, for as long as I'm able to. If you go and do it, I'll hold your hand after, but if you don't, I'll still be proud of you.

[the_fourteenth]

[It devastating to hear put so plainly like that, but it's not that Raidou doesn't understand. He would easily give his life up for those at the Capital, and as far as he knows, he already has. He wanted to think things here were different, but were they really?

He stops, taking both of Yuji's hands in his, keeping their foreheads touching. It didn't matter if they were out on the street, if people were around. His heart was hurting in this moment and Yuji is what's important here.

His eyes are squeezed shut, and he takes a shuttered breath.]

I want you to be happy, too. You deserve it.

[eyescar]

[ It could be a little mean, to say it like that, but... It's the truth all the same, isn't it?

Yuji lets himself steal closer to Raidou, lets himself be held, to allow himself to squeeze at his hands and let himself hold onto this moment, this boy, let himself feel being alive for just a little bit longer.

Closing his eyes, he smiles. ]

I'm happier here. That's good enough for someone like me.

[the_fourteenth]

Maybe you don't believe it yourself, but I do. You deserve it.

[It bears repeating, he thinks. And he'll do what he can to make that happen.]

I'm sorry to have... [To have crashed the mood after such a nice night.] I really appreciate you hearing me out. Thank you.

[eyescar]

[ Shaking his head, heedless of the public nature of them together, he tilts his head up and presses their mouths together gently. ]

I'll always listen. No matter how hard it is.