synflux | [closed] april showers bring may showers

[ Something about this Purple Tear strikes a chord with him. Her story sounds familiar, in a sense. There are two different types of warps that Kaito's beholden to. He can control one of them. The other inevitably throws him into worlds like these. Maybe LILITH didn't choose him all. Maybe it was 'that'. Or maybe LILITH found the 'client' operating that gate and had them send him here.

In the end, Kaito nods and takes another bite of popcorn. The giant bucket is tilted Malkuth's way to offer her some. ]

If I have to have a reason, that one wouldn't be bad. Makes more sense than actively choosing someone who hates killing.

[ A new tidbit. Or maybe not so new, if Verg's mentioned Kaito's merciful style of fighting people in conversation. ]

[ it's new. malkuth doesn't tend to bring up either of them in the company of the other, subconsciously as it is. but it isn't surprising to hear at the same time, and she takes some popcorn to chew on with a smile. it really does hit the spot... ]

Netzach hates it too. He always had, and... made some fairly unreasonable at the time demands of our Manager at L Corp. because of that. Unreasonable to the me at that point, because you can't protect everyone from dying.

[ particularly the weak or unwilling to do what they must. she doesn't say this though, lips pressing tight. ]

It's necessary. But that doesn't mean I like it -- I just understand that there's not a second option. If there is, it's one I can't accept... because if I have to kill someone to save a dozen other lives, then I will. That sort of thinking.

You can't. [ Kaito nods his agreement, leaning into her a little more firmly. ]

You can try, but it'll inevitably bring you to that conundrum. The one or the many?

[ A beat. Breaking for popcorn. ]

When I was younger, I always thought that I'd make my own third option. I craved power because I sought control. [ Golds flit to stare at her. ] I still do, even now, even when I fail to wrest control over hopeless situations.

I don't know what's objectively correct. But I don't think I want to be right anymore. I want to do right.

[ Lips quirk in a soft smile. Just a little tense. She's one of the only people in this world he feels comfortable enough exposing his ideology to.

More playfully, he asks: ]

It's only naive until I'm strong enough to dictate the terms, right?

[ it's only natural to connect the two. it's how the city worked too -- the stronger you were, the more control you seemed to have over yourself, your circumstances, your fate... even if it wasn't true at all. she points her skewer at him. ]

Careful you don't tunnel yourself, Kaito. "Doing right" has its own set of consequences, and people won't always appreciate or understand it. Take it from someone who died under that banner.

[ but it's not scolding. it's not sharp, it's not anything put against the ideology he's so carefully displayed; it's simply a soft, gentle warning and reminder. malkuth wiggles the half-scorpion with a fond smile. ]

But you're not wrong for thinking that way. A lot of things come down to "am I strong enough to change?", just remember it isn't always a matter of power. Sometimes it's a matter of will and other times bonds. As long as you want to do right by the people around you, and you listen to them instead of assuming you know best -- my own mistake -- then I know you'll be fine. There's nothing naive about hope.

[ even if some might say there is. it's naive to assume everything will go your way, that the world will unfold just because you ask -- that things will change without you lifting a finger, or just because you'd like it to. ]

And you'll make people mad no matter what, so just make sure you're make the right people mad.

[ Kaito slows to a stop while she talks. They've wandered into the middle of an empty street. It's dark, save for the street lamps. Everything here is closed or permanently shut down.

Here, he listens, staring intently as Malkuth explains. It's a different kind of fixation, but not too different. She talks, he marvels.

And she has good things to say. He wasn't scolding earlier—his own way of showing his respect for her mindset. Now she's showing hers with a little wisdom. Their walks of life don't run very parallel, but many of their tendencies do.

In the pursuit of power, of doing what's "right," it's easy to lock yourself into an echo chamber of your own thoughts.

When she finishes, Kaito lifts a hand to her face—but instead of poking her cheek or maybe even holding it, he steals an auburn lock and carefully runs it between thumb and index. His gaze and smile soften, baring that familiar fondness. ]

I suppose I'd better apologize to you in advance, then, [ he remarks, snickering. ] Just in case.

[ malkuth giggles, shaking her head gently to not dislodge his hold. ]

Apologize to me when it happens, and only if you mean it. I won't hear you out otherwise.

[ in case there's something she can't forgive, or even accept an apology for. rare as it could be. it isn't impossible, after all -- but it certainly will be rare.

her hands are full. she shifts her skewer to her other hand with care, and rests the freed one on his. ]

... I don't want you to run away just because I might have stern words for you, Kaito. Promise you'll apologize as yourself, and don't leave it to one of your clones. We're playing on even ground then.

Ugh. Apologize in the moment? And without clones? And without feeling your emotions?

[ The pitch of Kaito's reply rises by the second, growing with his smile. He flips his hand to hold hers up to his cheek. Nuzzle nuzzle. ]

It's almost as if you want me to be normal... Scandalous.

But amenable. I'll never run away from a tongue lashing, anyway. Only before the opportunity to mess up can occur.

[ Self-awareness, huh. He sticks his tongue out. ]

[ and she's pinching his cheek for it too, tugging at it painlessly before patting his face instead. good kaito. she appreciates it. ]

Thank you for trusting me tonight, by the way. Don't think I haven't noticed -- you're really obvious when you read me, and you've... been listening to what I want to say and how I want to say it this time.

[ rather than her emotions, which are often volatile and require more than a moment to process -- for herself, much less anyone else around her. it means a lot. ]

Is it scary?

Bweeeeehhhhh. Don't make me bite you. [ Am empty threat. It might even be an invitation. He even plays at snapping his teeth towards her hand. dwbi

The admission and following question prompt a pause. A chuckle passes, sheepish. ]

Yeah, well. ...You're welcome. You're the only one who gets this treatment. [ 'You're the only one I trust to be this vulnerable around.' ]

[ Golds eventually focus. ]

Yes and no. The implications of turning off my sixth sense are... well, you know. Trust, and all that.

But in a literal sense, it feels like stuffing my brainspace with cotton. Or covering my eyes, or physically inhibiting one of my senses.

I'm still not used to it.

[ how special. he could do with more people he can do this around, but-- that's asking a lot, and she isn't in the business of asking for others. if they want the same treatment, they can prove themselves worthy of it.

... or at least capable of earning it. ]

At least it's just around one person. [ for now? ] I don't think you'll ever get used to it if it stays that way, but I truly appreciate the effort.

[ it's a considerable, conscious loosening of the control he has on their time together. unable to steel himself or gauge best how to react. trusting that she's meaning what she says and letting her feel without worry that he's catching it too, without her worrying he might misunderstand or jump conclusions.

it is a really, really big thing, and she knows that. ]

It makes me feel like we're actually friends now. You know?

For now. [ That one didn't require a read. ] I feel clumsy without it, but you're worth the effort.

[ That sheepish smile illuminates again, to the point he may very well be glowing. The spare hand that's been holding onto the popcorn (somewhere along the way he dumped the soda. too damn sweet.) drops its cargo (the damn thing is large enough that it lands solidly on the asphalt next to him). Kaito steps in and wraps his arms around Malkuth in a loose embrace.

His voice tickles her hair, whispered against her crown. ]

We've always actually been friends, dummy. But now the friendship is on truly equal footing. Malkuth and Kaito, instead of Malkuth and Kaito the Ever Prepared to Reply to Everything, Asterisk.

[ He really just said *. ]

And you're...

[ Kaito trails off. Squeezes a little tighter. Shuts his eyes. ]

...A word I can't express verbally just yet. Not because I'm scared to say it, but because I'm still trying to figure it out.

Once it comes to me, I'll tell you. Because that's you.

Is that silly?

[ he really said *.

but it's not a crowding hug as sudden as it comes on. there's a marked difference between this and his room, this and her; it's one she leans against with a slight turn to keep her salad intact, staring down at his popcorn with small wonder. america sure is impressive. ]

Why would it be?

[ what's silly about an unexpressible word? what's silly about figuring something out, or wanting to wait until he understands it before speaking it out loud? it's not silly at all. ]

I'd be one to talk anyway, you know. I'm still trying to work a lot out myself.

[ America number one........

Laughter brightens the air between them. Kaito squeezes again before giving them enough distance to resume eye contact without fully letting go. That settles his hands on her ~~clavicles~~ shoulders. ]

Fair point. Even when I'm reading emotions, the words don't immediately come to mind before I process them.

[ Grinning: ] Well, we are pretty good hypocrites. I wouldn't judge you even if you did think it was silly. Not too much, anyway.

[ His tongue pokes out again, more exaggeratedly this time. ...And longer? Is his tongue just naturally longer than average?

Stupid dragon. ]

[ oh good, a perfect place to smack her scorpion skewer. he's trying it whether he wants to or not apparently. ]

The way to a woman's heart is not calling her a hypocrite, Kaito. Want me to give you a few lessons from the romance movies I've watched?

[ for free, even! she's so kind. ]

[ Kaito makes a face as the scorpion hits his tongue, but he chomps down nonetheless. It's not half bad at all. ]

Very generous of you, but I think I'll pass! I know my way to every woman's heart—and every man's! It's between the fourth and fifth rib.

[ Booooooo. He does lean in to snag another bite of scorpion, though. ]

How many romance movies have you watched since arriving, huh? More importantly, do you have recommendations?

[ pig. she's thwapping him Gently with the stick and finishing off the scorpion so she can eat her salad properly. ]

More lately than I did last month. You could say I've been trying to understand different perspectives in comparison to my own one-sided affair... so yes, I have recs. Spice or no spice? What kind of tropes do you like? Love at first sight, childhood friends, enemies to lovers...

[closed] april showers bring may showers

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