[ Silco (incorrectly) thinks that he has always used his anger as a tool. He has, but it has been a hammer to bludgeon with, instead of a knife that he can strike with. He would not admit it, of course, and won't acknowledge it either, but he is definitively weighed down by his anger and his trauma more than most people. He has been so mired in it, drowning in it for so long that he does not really know what it is to break through the surface.
It is why he is so easily manipulated by powers that understand what a double-edged beast that anger is. Sebastian had latched onto it, and tugged him down deeper under these waters, and he'd barely put up a fight. ]
You do not mean with the Kaiju, do you?
[ Next battle, however, is something he does not quite know what to make of. Unless he means Zaun, and he would use it then.
Or he wouldn't, because Silco would give up that fight immediately for one person, and one person only. And damn himself because of it. ]
[ It’s the simple answer, and he lets it linger as he takes another purposeful pause to puff at the cigarette. ]
To be honest, this ain’t a battle you’re well-suited for. I don’t even mean ‘cause you’re more just a regular guy than most of the people here. The way I see it, your strength is in person-to-person kind of interactions. Not big fuckin’ monsters. You’re not exactly gonna inspire it to action, at least with the ones we’ve seen so far.
[ He wouldn’t discount the idea of encountering less bestial ones, but that’s just a theoretical for now. If it ever happens, that’s when he’d be pushing Silco the hardest for sure, though. ]
But assuming they’re telling the truth, you’re goin’ home eventually. You have to be ready for that, from all you've told me.
[ He said, because Tezca was telling the truth. Even in Kenos, when faced with the grandiose, he was difficult to find unless it was a personal thing. He had excelled in things like manipulating the dark passageways of the Below and Kowloon, where the people were the types that Silco could cajole and manipulate. He had been dwarfed often by Sebastian's expertise, like a child playing at their parent's competency, but removed from simply being next to a literal manipulative demon, Silco instead showed his colors.
He had already thought quite a bit about the people here, something in his mind can't let it go — and when Silco can't let something go, it stays — but it was a long-term thing. Something that he wants to do and wants to shift and change with time. It is not immediate.
Neither is going home, but it truly is more pressing than anything happening here. His fingers wrapped around his daughter's dying body while enforcers hold the bridge, daring the sump rats to breach it. ]
I want nothing more than to show them every kindness [ Slurred out and at a drawl, it is no kindness he speaks of ] that they have shown us. Make sure that every one is repaid a thousand-fold.
But — [ He sighed. ] — First, I have to survive to get there, and that will be a challenge in of itself.
I have not heard of anyone reawakening, have you? Taking chances will be that much more fraught.
[ Tezcatlipoca smiles in the way he always does when Silco is expressing thoughts like this. It’s sharp and vicious, almost mean, because he supports Silco’s bitter little heart fully. As he would come to tell him to puzzle over (lol), it’s behavior like this that makes Silco his acolyte. He’s almost a slave to conflict, and all of his sharp vengefulness is practically an offering to Tezcatlipoca. After all, he’s no god of redemption. He may vaguely want Silco to be a better man, but he also deeply believes that it’s something that he has to come to on his own. Another difference between him and Quetzalcoatl. ]
And I’m sure you will. Kinda bummed that I won’t get to see it, since from the sounds of it, your world has no connection to Earth. But, hey. When you’re repayin’ that debt to ‘em, offer up a prayer or a sacrifice to me. Who knows? Maybe I’ll hear it.
[ He chuckles, since even he doesn’t know the answer there. But if nothing else, even if he can’t hear it, he imagines that Silco would take some power for it all the same. The point of ritual isn’t always to have the gods hear you—it’s a fortifying process. ]
But, nah. Haven’t. Haven’t exactly asked, though, since the explanation LILITH gave at least works for me. Couldn’t say the same for most of ya, but the idea of dividing my consciousness is routine. One part of me can be working here, another part in Mictlan, and when the work is done, we’ll merge back with the whole.
[ He puffs out some smoke with a sly smile. ]
Though, this is an area where you and I are the same kinda guy. Kinda appreciate the vacation, don’t get me wrong, since this is a big opportunity for me, but still. Too laid back here. The fact that none of the Outsiders have gotten ripped in half by a kaiju is some dumb luck.
[ He scoffed. ] There was no lack of it in Kenos either, but it was... different. The war was always there. Here, the people want to forget as much as the outsiders do. No true competition except for the Kaiju, and they've done relatively little, like you said.
[ Well, plenty of destruction, but... ]
Perhaps, perhaps there will be a change, now that there's a proper god of conflict, hm? We can't have you getting bored, or anything. [ He doesn't really understand what'd going on back home, especially given that only months ago his world had been gone, and he did not think it was LILITH who had been able to revive them.
It created more questions than solutions, but that was something Silco was used to, being subjected to powers and prominence that he truly did not understand. ] Who knows, if you do, you might just leave us. I can't imagine that LILITH would really be able to stop you if you wanted to.
[ A twitch of a smile, because Silco's as liable as Tezca.
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no subject
[ Silco (incorrectly) thinks that he has always used his anger as a tool. He has, but it has been a hammer to bludgeon with, instead of a knife that he can strike with. He would not admit it, of course, and won't acknowledge it either, but he is definitively weighed down by his anger and his trauma more than most people. He has been so mired in it, drowning in it for so long that he does not really know what it is to break through the surface.
It is why he is so easily manipulated by powers that understand what a double-edged beast that anger is. Sebastian had latched onto it, and tugged him down deeper under these waters, and he'd barely put up a fight. ]
You do not mean with the Kaiju, do you?
[ Next battle, however, is something he does not quite know what to make of. Unless he means Zaun, and he would use it then.
Or he wouldn't, because Silco would give up that fight immediately for one person, and one person only. And damn himself because of it. ]
no subject
[ It’s the simple answer, and he lets it linger as he takes another purposeful pause to puff at the cigarette. ]
To be honest, this ain’t a battle you’re well-suited for. I don’t even mean ‘cause you’re more just a regular guy than most of the people here. The way I see it, your strength is in person-to-person kind of interactions. Not big fuckin’ monsters. You’re not exactly gonna inspire it to action, at least with the ones we’ve seen so far.
[ He wouldn’t discount the idea of encountering less bestial ones, but that’s just a theoretical for now. If it ever happens, that’s when he’d be pushing Silco the hardest for sure, though. ]
But assuming they’re telling the truth, you’re goin’ home eventually. You have to be ready for that, from all you've told me.
no subject
[ He said, because Tezca was telling the truth. Even in Kenos, when faced with the grandiose, he was difficult to find unless it was a personal thing. He had excelled in things like manipulating the dark passageways of the Below and Kowloon, where the people were the types that Silco could cajole and manipulate. He had been dwarfed often by Sebastian's expertise, like a child playing at their parent's competency, but removed from simply being next to a literal manipulative demon, Silco instead showed his colors.
He had already thought quite a bit about the people here, something in his mind can't let it go — and when Silco can't let something go, it stays — but it was a long-term thing. Something that he wants to do and wants to shift and change with time. It is not immediate.
Neither is going home, but it truly is more pressing than anything happening here. His fingers wrapped around his daughter's dying body while enforcers hold the bridge, daring the sump rats to breach it. ]
I want nothing more than to show them every kindness [ Slurred out and at a drawl, it is no kindness he speaks of ] that they have shown us. Make sure that every one is repaid a thousand-fold.
But — [ He sighed. ] — First, I have to survive to get there, and that will be a challenge in of itself.
I have not heard of anyone reawakening, have you? Taking chances will be that much more fraught.
no subject
And I’m sure you will. Kinda bummed that I won’t get to see it, since from the sounds of it, your world has no connection to Earth. But, hey. When you’re repayin’ that debt to ‘em, offer up a prayer or a sacrifice to me. Who knows? Maybe I’ll hear it.
[ He chuckles, since even he doesn’t know the answer there. But if nothing else, even if he can’t hear it, he imagines that Silco would take some power for it all the same. The point of ritual isn’t always to have the gods hear you—it’s a fortifying process. ]
But, nah. Haven’t. Haven’t exactly asked, though, since the explanation LILITH gave at least works for me. Couldn’t say the same for most of ya, but the idea of dividing my consciousness is routine. One part of me can be working here, another part in Mictlan, and when the work is done, we’ll merge back with the whole.
[ He puffs out some smoke with a sly smile. ]
Though, this is an area where you and I are the same kinda guy. Kinda appreciate the vacation, don’t get me wrong, since this is a big opportunity for me, but still. Too laid back here. The fact that none of the Outsiders have gotten ripped in half by a kaiju is some dumb luck.
no subject
[ He scoffed. ] There was no lack of it in Kenos either, but it was... different. The war was always there. Here, the people want to forget as much as the outsiders do. No true competition except for the Kaiju, and they've done relatively little, like you said.
[ Well, plenty of destruction, but... ]
Perhaps, perhaps there will be a change, now that there's a proper god of conflict, hm? We can't have you getting bored, or anything. [ He doesn't really understand what'd going on back home, especially given that only months ago his world had been gone, and he did not think it was LILITH who had been able to revive them.
It created more questions than solutions, but that was something Silco was used to, being subjected to powers and prominence that he truly did not understand. ] Who knows, if you do, you might just leave us. I can't imagine that LILITH would really be able to stop you if you wanted to.
[ A twitch of a smile, because Silco's as liable as Tezca.