𝚂𝚢𝚗𝚏𝚕𝚞𝚡 𝙼𝚘𝚍𝚜 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
synfluxmods) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
synflux2025-04-13 09:43 pm
synfluxmods) wrote in synflux2025-04-13 09:43 pm
KAIJU FIGHT #7
KAIJU FIGHT #7
▶ 001. EGYPTIAN DINNER.
As the days go on, more and more evidence begins to show that the kaiju is, indeed, hiding out somewhere deep within the desert, approximately in the West area around the Qattara Depression. LILITH’s crew embarks first with all of their supplies to set up a temporary base in the ruined city of El Alamein, a small city at the edge of the desert. Outsiders are requested to wait there until further instructions, and this temporary base will be a safe haven if things get too treacherous. After all, even after all of their research, who knows what this monster is capable of doing?
Once the base is set up, Outsiders will move out, either on their camel or other means they may have to arrive at the base. The days continue to grow shorter, nighttime beginning to descend as early as 3 PM. Outsiders will also be highly recommended to consume the cyber caffeine once again as its effects from the plane ride are beginning to wear off. To their surprise, when the Outsiders arrive, a large buffet of Egyptian food will be waiting for them. Koshari, shawarma, falafel and Egyptian stew will be served. All fresh and natural ingredients! Everyone settle in and dine together… it could be the last meal you have.
LILITH suggests waiting until there is more sunlight before they hunt down the kaiju. Outsiders can rest, but do not sleep! Maybe wait for the sunrise together? Find other ways to kill some time? Maybe there are new Outsiders that would like to know about the previous kaijus? As the sun begins to rise, it paints the most beautiful sunrise that maybe Outsiders have ever seen. Were some of those new colors in the sky? How romantic.
▶ 002. QUICK AS SAND.
After the sun rises, Outsiders and LILITH prepare to leave the temporary base and head further towards the Qattara Depression. The trek starts out pretty easy, but the geography soon gets more and more dangerous, leading into what seems to be a large crevice in the Earth. Captain Yamakawa gives a report once the Outsiders have reached this area:
While it’s true that the area does contain many sand crocodiles popping out and spitting embers, there is no sight of any other kaiju. Yet, all evidence points to the fact that it is here. The rift energy is immense in this location, and those exposed may be hit with nightmares, bad memory sharing or a weakness to sunlight. As characters move along, following Yamakawa’s lead on her camel, those with keen hearing will detect it before anyone else: moaning, groaning. Sounds of agony, all coming from beneath them. It gets louder, causing Yamakawa to halt. But as soon as everyone stops, they will feel the ground start to sink beneath them.
It’s quicksand!
Yamakawa and any other Outsiders who may have been traveling close with her will soon be engulfed by the sand, first taking the camels by their legs. It’s never good to panic while in quicksand, and Yamakawa remains calm as ever, but if anyone tries to pull her and others out, she will say,
As characters vanish beneath the sand, they will see that Captain Yamakawa is correct — the quicksand leads to a hidden, ruined city beneath the Qattara Depression: a perfect lair for a kaiju who is sensitive to sunlight. Outsiders slowly fall and hit the rocky ground not-so gently, heaps of sand flowing after. Rub it from your eyes and remove it from your ears to marvel at a city that time has forgotten.
In the middle of the ruins, there is a large temple. It’s time to find that kaiju!
“Angels of LILITH, we have evidence that this area is filled with many sand crocodiles. We have supplied everyone with more shotguns and ammo, but use any other means to keep yourself safe. We have received evidence that the kaiju is in this general area. Keep alert! Who knows what sorts of powers it possesses that we may not know about!”
While it’s true that the area does contain many sand crocodiles popping out and spitting embers, there is no sight of any other kaiju. Yet, all evidence points to the fact that it is here. The rift energy is immense in this location, and those exposed may be hit with nightmares, bad memory sharing or a weakness to sunlight. As characters move along, following Yamakawa’s lead on her camel, those with keen hearing will detect it before anyone else: moaning, groaning. Sounds of agony, all coming from beneath them. It gets louder, causing Yamakawa to halt. But as soon as everyone stops, they will feel the ground start to sink beneath them.
It’s quicksand!
Yamakawa and any other Outsiders who may have been traveling close with her will soon be engulfed by the sand, first taking the camels by their legs. It’s never good to panic while in quicksand, and Yamakawa remains calm as ever, but if anyone tries to pull her and others out, she will say,
“This is it… This is how we get down below. The kaiju is under us! Angels of LILITH, hold your breath… Let the sand consume you if you wish to go further with me!”
As characters vanish beneath the sand, they will see that Captain Yamakawa is correct — the quicksand leads to a hidden, ruined city beneath the Qattara Depression: a perfect lair for a kaiju who is sensitive to sunlight. Outsiders slowly fall and hit the rocky ground not-so gently, heaps of sand flowing after. Rub it from your eyes and remove it from your ears to marvel at a city that time has forgotten.
In the middle of the ruins, there is a large temple. It’s time to find that kaiju!
▶ 003. TOMB RAIDER
The inside of the ruins are dark and mostly devoid of natural sunlight. However, there does occasionally seem to be flickers of light, as the sand above them runs fluidly across where the sky would be, almost like water. Due to the lack of visibility, Outsiders will need to utilize their LILITH-provided equipment or find other methods or sources for light. Everyone will have access to a flashlight, but there will also be abandoned torches nearby should anyone really want to impersonate Indiana Jones here. Once they arrive deeper in, they will see some of the torches spark to life, operated by a mysterious technology.
It's clear that these ruins were made for the sole purpose of housing the temple at its center, which appears to also be a type of tomb. There's a certain silent reverence to it, as it naturally demands respect. Or, it's the ominous presence of the sand crocodiles slithering about in the sands. The crocodiles can be lurking under any surface of sand, and so Outsiders will be cautioned and asked to be on the lookout, not only for themselves, but their fellow teammates.
If the crocodiles weren't alarming enough, as one enters the tomb itself, they will discover several booby traps awaiting them. If one steps carelessly, they'll find themselves at the other end of a vicious trap — some are triggered by stepping on the wrong stone, or grabbing a nearby torch. Some are even activated just by making eye contact with the wrong painting on the wall. If Outsiders feel any vibrations, they will get warnings on their oculars that a boulder may be swiftly approaching! Run and seek an alcove to hide in!
For those who are savvy with dismantling traps, they will find that some of them do have workarounds if you know the right methodology behind each one. As for if they will be given the time for it, that's another story, but maybe another Outsider can do the honors of triggering it while another suppresses it?
People should also do their best not to be drawn by some of the treasure or gems that are placed into several of the rooms with tombs. Picking up even one sliver of gold, or a gem will cause the mummies to reanimate. The mummies have an ability to produce sounds that can render people unconscious, or even cause their inner eardrums to bleed. While they are slow moving, they are also incredibly persistent, and as they're already technically dead, get on the wrong side of one and you may be stuck with it following you around. Fire seems to slow them down pretty effectively, as well. Should you be stuck with an aggressive one, however, it will do everything it can to try and harvest your organs. Completely dismembering them will un-alive them again.
Outsiders will get a notice when the rift energies increase in intensity as they traverse deeper within the tomb. Unexpectedly, it isn't the end of the tomb they're being led to, but the center of it.
It's clear that these ruins were made for the sole purpose of housing the temple at its center, which appears to also be a type of tomb. There's a certain silent reverence to it, as it naturally demands respect. Or, it's the ominous presence of the sand crocodiles slithering about in the sands. The crocodiles can be lurking under any surface of sand, and so Outsiders will be cautioned and asked to be on the lookout, not only for themselves, but their fellow teammates.
If the crocodiles weren't alarming enough, as one enters the tomb itself, they will discover several booby traps awaiting them. If one steps carelessly, they'll find themselves at the other end of a vicious trap — some are triggered by stepping on the wrong stone, or grabbing a nearby torch. Some are even activated just by making eye contact with the wrong painting on the wall. If Outsiders feel any vibrations, they will get warnings on their oculars that a boulder may be swiftly approaching! Run and seek an alcove to hide in!
For those who are savvy with dismantling traps, they will find that some of them do have workarounds if you know the right methodology behind each one. As for if they will be given the time for it, that's another story, but maybe another Outsider can do the honors of triggering it while another suppresses it?
People should also do their best not to be drawn by some of the treasure or gems that are placed into several of the rooms with tombs. Picking up even one sliver of gold, or a gem will cause the mummies to reanimate. The mummies have an ability to produce sounds that can render people unconscious, or even cause their inner eardrums to bleed. While they are slow moving, they are also incredibly persistent, and as they're already technically dead, get on the wrong side of one and you may be stuck with it following you around. Fire seems to slow them down pretty effectively, as well. Should you be stuck with an aggressive one, however, it will do everything it can to try and harvest your organs. Completely dismembering them will un-alive them again.
Outsiders will get a notice when the rift energies increase in intensity as they traverse deeper within the tomb. Unexpectedly, it isn't the end of the tomb they're being led to, but the center of it.
▶ 004. HEART OF THE TOMB.
At the very center, the first thing everyone will notice is the rift. The rift effects will be strongest in this area. Thankfully, unlike the kaiju in Transylvania, everyone will still have full access to their abilities. One thing that can be noted, however, is that the rift energy may feel stronger than before, and Outsiders may feel an odd tingle that can be felt even through their suits. They may also find that if their attention strays for too long, they can feel their limbs go a little numb, so this battle will require all their focus.
While there are rift effects, hopefully that doesn't get in the way of anyone's performance. Especially as it doesn't take long for the kaiju to kick itself into gear.
This kaiju is capable of trapping people in nightmares and illusions, as well as sharing them. In addition, by looking its target in the eyes, it’s capable of causing them to feel intense fear to the point of paranoia. These effects can last even when no longer in the presence of the Kabus. The Kabus uses the disorientation caused by its abilities to render its victims incapable of fighting back, and uses its dark and inky black tendrils to trap its victims. The tendrils cannot be cut, and almost appear illusory as well.
The mummies also seem to be working in tandem with the Kabus and will gradually make their appearance in this deepest region of the tomb. However, they seem less aggressive and are far more interested in grabbing, or biting down on Outsiders to decrease their overall mobility, especially if they fall under the Kabus nightmares.
Unlike the permanent rift in Tokyo, LILITH will eventually send in help by blocking off some rift signals, enough to eventually get them shut down. Without the power of the rift, the Kabus’ power will also begin to dwindle, which hopefully all the Outsiders take full advantage of.
While there are rift effects, hopefully that doesn't get in the way of anyone's performance. Especially as it doesn't take long for the kaiju to kick itself into gear.
█ █ █ MONSTER DEBRIEF SHEET
NAME: Kabus
HEIGHT: 3 m
WEIGHT: 10 T
CLASS: Extremely Dangerous
LOCATION: Qattara, Egypt
ABILITIES: Shortens daylight, infiltrates a being's consciousness and body through their dreams to stop their heart.
WEAKNESSES: Ice, water, sunlight, any symbols that reflect "light" or "life".
EXTRA NOTES: This is a kaiju that has never been documented by LILITH before—not much information can be provided. Proceed with extreme caution.
RIFT EFFECTS: Bad memory share, weakness to sunlight, nightmares.
█ █ █ ATTACHED PHOTO: SEE ABOVE
This kaiju is capable of trapping people in nightmares and illusions, as well as sharing them. In addition, by looking its target in the eyes, it’s capable of causing them to feel intense fear to the point of paranoia. These effects can last even when no longer in the presence of the Kabus. The Kabus uses the disorientation caused by its abilities to render its victims incapable of fighting back, and uses its dark and inky black tendrils to trap its victims. The tendrils cannot be cut, and almost appear illusory as well.
The mummies also seem to be working in tandem with the Kabus and will gradually make their appearance in this deepest region of the tomb. However, they seem less aggressive and are far more interested in grabbing, or biting down on Outsiders to decrease their overall mobility, especially if they fall under the Kabus nightmares.
Unlike the permanent rift in Tokyo, LILITH will eventually send in help by blocking off some rift signals, enough to eventually get them shut down. Without the power of the rift, the Kabus’ power will also begin to dwindle, which hopefully all the Outsiders take full advantage of.
▶ 005. AFTERMATH
It's an intense fight, and Kento Nanami along with Cagalli deliver the hardest blows with 600 HP each, the monster grows weaker. It somehow knows it is about to die, though, especially when Choso's toxic blood poisons it. It's spiteful, seeking revenge for the pain it is feeling, and when it is attacked again, it lashes out, temporarily blinding Power and releasing a deafening screech to disorient Rico. The final blow is delivered by Muramasa, and when it dies, it speaks to him, something inaudible but it sounds like it is speaking in Arabic. It dissipates into sand, and LILITH encourages Outsiders to round up the sand for further evaluation. From the looks of it, though, it appears to be nothing special.
When the Kabus is eventually defeated, Outsiders will have a pocket of time in which they must make their escape before the tomb is completely buried in sand. Perhaps, without the kaiju there, the structure is no longer stable. If Outsiders don’t want to be buried in sand, they will have to make their escape swiftly.
... But not without gathering samples: Outsiders will be prompted to collect as many samples as they can. Some of these samples will be given over to the research institute, but the researchers of LILITH also feel like they could find a use in the sand and bloody bandages that the lynx left behind.
The Outsiders and LILITH crew escape successfully, moments before the underground is filled with sand. They high trek it back to the Alexandria Institute, where they are greeted with something that Outsiders have probably been craving.. along with crowds cheering, some falling to their knees in gratitude, LILITH & the Outsiders are provided the following before flying back to Neo Tokyo:
Free lodging at the most comfortable hotels with the most comfortable beds. Finally, they can rest easily and as much as they want to without the threat of the kaiju around! It takes one full day cycle for daylight and night time to return to normal, and after a long, sleep.. LILITH encourages the Outsiders to sleep as much as they would like because they deserve it.
Right when they close their eyes, though, one more message flashes across their oculars. It's been awhile since Outsiders have heard from their robotic-tentacled Commander. After all of that, he has a few words. On voice, he speaks, but then he also sends a text message:
When the Kabus is eventually defeated, Outsiders will have a pocket of time in which they must make their escape before the tomb is completely buried in sand. Perhaps, without the kaiju there, the structure is no longer stable. If Outsiders don’t want to be buried in sand, they will have to make their escape swiftly.
... But not without gathering samples: Outsiders will be prompted to collect as many samples as they can. Some of these samples will be given over to the research institute, but the researchers of LILITH also feel like they could find a use in the sand and bloody bandages that the lynx left behind.
The Outsiders and LILITH crew escape successfully, moments before the underground is filled with sand. They high trek it back to the Alexandria Institute, where they are greeted with something that Outsiders have probably been craving.. along with crowds cheering, some falling to their knees in gratitude, LILITH & the Outsiders are provided the following before flying back to Neo Tokyo:
Free lodging at the most comfortable hotels with the most comfortable beds. Finally, they can rest easily and as much as they want to without the threat of the kaiju around! It takes one full day cycle for daylight and night time to return to normal, and after a long, sleep.. LILITH encourages the Outsiders to sleep as much as they would like because they deserve it.
Right when they close their eyes, though, one more message flashes across their oculars. It's been awhile since Outsiders have heard from their robotic-tentacled Commander. After all of that, he has a few words. On voice, he speaks, but then he also sends a text message:
“... Good job. Most impressive."
...👍
...👍
- Medical staff will be on standby.
- Effects from the kaiju can last 24-48 hours to fully dissipate. (Note: This is up to players how they want to play this out. It could also come and go, so it does not affect their ability to play in any other aspect of the game in the meantime).
- As Outsiders were able to discuss and piece together some clues: they were able to rendezvous with the lynx in the desert and collect a hefty amount of samples (sand from the lynx, bloody bandages from the lynx, mummy parts.) Some of these samples will be used for medicine, while others for their suit. While Greece is still unresponsive, it may just be because of the rifts.
- LILITH will offer the energy drinks freely to those who want them. However, since it seems like some Outsiders get carried away, there will be a daily cap of two.
- The ESSENCE generator shows signs of working again, now with all aspects of the rift gone (the rift itself and the kaiju.)
- There will now be a simulation option once Neo Tokyo base reopens to mimic traps, so people can practice avoiding them. Even the ones with random screaming being used to lure people in. (They can’t believe this works).
▶ 006. AFTERWORD.
Welcome to our seventh kaiju log!
Aftermath details were gathered from reading through the chat logs of the last post and from IC discoveries and explorations that took place in which unearthed the location of the Kabus.
All tags on this log are worth 2 points and will count towards April AC.
Aftermath details were gathered from reading through the chat logs of the last post and from IC discoveries and explorations that took place in which unearthed the location of the Kabus.
All tags on this log are worth 2 points and will count towards April AC.
EVENT BREAKDOWN/RECAP (CLICK TO EXPAND)
1. EGYPTIAN DINNER: Investigative efforts and careful research has led to the Outsiders next location. They are moved out from the comfort of their temporary base and are now having their last supper before they head out to the hunt.
2. QUICK AS SAND: They encounter more foes in the desert in the form of sand crocodiles. Everyone is provided weapons and ammo to hold these creatures back and minimize initial damages to the team. However, it seems the one of their biggest mysteries get solved. It's quicksand! .... and it looks like there's a lot more to unearth beneath them.
3. TOMB RAIDER: Outsiders arrive at the entrance of the tomb. Once in it, they are prey not only to the sand crocodiles, but the various booby traps set out for them. They will also encounter mummies which seem to be reanimated or powered by the kaiju.
4. HEART OF THE TOMB: Outsiders will find the kaiju at the heart of the tomb. As the preliminary report states, the kaiju infiltrates a being's consciousness and body through their dreams to stop their heart. Outsiders will need to be wary of this fact while battling the kaiju.
5. AFTERMATH: Recap of the usual aid provided to Outsiders. As well as some thoughts and details moving forward as a result of investigative efforts and details noted from prior log.
01. b.
He had just lost Choso, he had fought with Todo, he had been pushing and pushing because he thought he was the only one left, the only one who believed in the chance of saving Megumi rather than just killing Sukuna, and the attention of the King of Curses had shifted from him to the new surge of cursed energy. Feeling the familiarity of it had given him such a surge of hope, such an immediate desire to burst into the tears he had been holding back that he had felt fragile with it, until...
Until it wasn't Gojo-sensei. Until he had seen the stitch marks on the forehead of his mentor's body, and the slowness of his brain had twisted into some form of understanding. He knew that Kenjaku had been dealt with, he knew what Yuta-senpai's technique was, and the pieces of the puzzle slammed into him like a chokehold around his neck. Watching Sukuna turn away from him, watching his attacks towards the barrier between souls get ignored...
He hadn't really had time to process how he felt about it, not in the burnout that came after the fighting, but... When he had rejoined everyone and had realised that all his senpais had been aware of the plan, that he had been the only one left out... There's a kind of hurt there, too, that makes him feel sour and bitter now as he watches this scene unfold. Even as he looks at Rika and her grief, he can't help but be angry. He can't help but feel the burn of something bitter and harsh inside of him, as he steps back and stands beside the older boy beside him.
They didn't believe in him at all, did they? With all the effort he put in to fighting Sukuna, all the things he ate, the lengths he went through, they still didn't trust that he could do it. It's probably fair, he supposes - what reason did they have to trust in him?
He had failed in every effort before.
Not able to turn his head and look over at Yuta, he breathes out sharply. ]
... You know, I really want to hit you, senpai.
no subject
Itadori-kun, you— [ 'You aren't supposed to be here.'
The words die on his tongue as realization is quick to follow, filling him with a sickening dread that adds to the already existing nausea roiling in his gut. He knows what this is, what is happening. It's hard not to when he's been made to unintentionally perceive the memories of others. Maybe it was only a matter of time before it happened with his, but of all the memories that Yuji could have seen? This has to be the worst one. The very one Yuta absolutely wouldn't want him to see.
Yet here they are.
The anger is so plain even without Yuji's statement, there in the sharp exhale, the staunch refusal to look at him. It's justified. There is nothing Yuta can do or say that will make any of this better, so he doesn't try. He stays seated on the edge of the table, feeling so small in this body far too big for him — ill-fitted, an unwelcome guest, a curse (his love has always been) — and simply says: ]
I'm sorry. Go ahead.
[ Yuta won't stop him. It would be more than deserved and he knows it. ]
no subject
It's rare for Yuji to get genuinely upset with his peers or his mentors, any of his friends, really. It takes a lot to get him from concern to upset, to prickle at the edge of his anger and bring it out of him - but this has inspired it. He can remember the horror and the hurt, he can remember the strangeness of it, the nausea in his gut, the discomfort, the horror of seeing his sensei's body mutilated in front of him...
And for what? It was barely a few minutes.
Knowing that he had been left out of that plan, that he had been deliberately in the dark, makes him feel just as disappointed and hurt. Logically, he can understand why they might make that kind of plan, and if he sits and thinks it out and rationalises it then he might be okay with it, but right now, seeing it so fresh... Hearing Rika's crying, and knowing his own grief...?
There's not that much he can do other than swallow it down and accept it for what it is. A nightmare, one that came to life, and shook him to his core.
Instead of lashing out at Yuta, he lifts his hand and wipes it across his face, breathing out. ]
I said I want to, not that I was going to.
[ Even if it would be deserved. ]
This... I don't get it.
no subject
He can only sit with that heavy knowledge, mire in the consequences of his actions, let the weight of what he's done wash over him anew as if he hasn't already been reliving it on an almost nightly basis, like he doesn't see Gojo's mutilated face in the mirror instead of his own more often than not. All of that pales in comparison to this: Yuji so visibly upset, Rika sobbing in the background as Shoko sets about the arduous task of stitching his body back together. It's fine if he's the one hurting, but not the others. Yet he knew this would hurt them and he did it anyway.
(It had been necessary, he tells himself, again and again, growing less convinced every time he does it. In hindsight, he can see all the flaws in their plans, all the ways things could have been done so much better, how this very situation could have been avoided. He failed.)
Other than that moment back home in which he prostrated himself in apology in front of the first years collectively, they haven't really spoken about any of this so to hear Yuji's confusion doesn't come entirely as a surprise. Still, he figured any of the co-conspirators would have said something in the interim, but he can't exactly blame them if they didn't.
Yuta takes a breath, folds too-large hands in his lap in a demure posture so uncharacteristic of their beloved sensei — fingers seeking out a ring on his left hand that is not there in an old nervous habit — and straightens a little. ]
How do you mean? I don't know how much the others ended up explaining, but whatever you want to know, I'll tell you.
[ He owes Yuji that much. ]
no subject
[ It's an impossible question, and he knows, rationally, there's only one answer.
They were all doing all they could to fight Sukuna, risking everything they had and throwing themselves into the fight over and over again. He had taken so many other fighters from them, from Gojo to Higuruma to Maki and Yuta himself, and with the battlefield in charcoal ruins and Todo and Yuji the ones taking charge... Of course, he would take this kind of risk. Of course, they would do whatever possible to make sure that they could keep fighting.
Using Kenjaku's technique. Using Gojo-sensei's body. Risking dying himself, for the chance of making sure Sukuna was ended...
Yuji had gone into that fight assuming he'd die. It was probably the same for Yuta and the others.
Wiping his face, he shakes his head. ]
No. Don't answer that, I already know. I know why you did it, and I'll bet Gojo-sensei came up with the idea, or said it was okay, or something like that. We were all doing whatever was needed to make sure Sukuna was killed, no matter what the risk was.
[ The nausea twists in his stomach, and he tilts his head up, unable to look at the horrors in front of him, the scene seared into his memory. ]
I wouldn't have trusted me to do it either. Not with my connection to Megumi.
no subject
He keeps his hands where they are, just listens, gets the sense Yuji really hasn't been told much of anything by the others and it's— well, he can't be frustrated. He isn't. It wasn't on them to explain for him when it had been Yuta's idea from the start. It does make his heart sit even heavier in his chest though, unfair as that may be. It doesn't help either that Yuji's final statement hints at what might be the true crux of the matter and it has his stomach sinking. He never meant to make him feel that way, to instill any such awful personal doubt, but then Yuta never meant to hurt any of them. It had just felt unavoidable. ]
It's not that I didn't trust you to do it, Itadori-kun. I just wanted to spare you the pain of having to kill your best friend if it came down to that.
[ And it seemed to have come down to that after their plan in his domain failed. There had been nothing else he could do but fall back on this deplorable plan for a chance to take that burden onto himself as his believed-to-be final act or simply die on that table. He'd (unwittingly at that time) failed Gojo when he didn't succeed in taking down Geto, made his teacher kill his only best friend, and if he could prevent a repeat of yet another friend having to do the same, then how could he not try?
Yuji told him not to answer his first question. Yuta does it anyway. ]
That's why I did all this. Although I did get Sensei's blessing, this was entirely my plan. We've always pushed the burden of being a monster onto Gojo-sensei alone and with him gone, someone had to take that spot. So I did. I didn't want that burden to fall on anyone else.
[ He is selfish in his selflessness, he knows. ]
no subject
[ Yuji ate Sukuna's fingers, he murdered people in Shibuya, he ate his own brothers, he kept doing more and more, the blood on his hands staining him in a way that he can't undo. Maybe Yuta became a monster in his own way, but Yuji was keeping up with him on that chase, he had been rushing and pushing himself to the point where he didn't know what it meant to be anything else, not really.
Shaking his head, he breathes out softly, closing his eyes. ]
It's just how things had to be. I would've done whatever it takes to save Megumi, and I knew that. I would've done anything and everything, no matter what the cost.
[ Leaning back, her rocks on his heels absently before he looks back over at Yuta. ]
I... I guess I'm saying I get it.
no subject
He knows Yuji would have done anything when they're so painfully alike in many ways but especially in what they will do for their friends; no price will ever be too high. So that quiet understanding that's extended when Yuji finally looks at him does not really come as a surprise, but it is not much of a comfort.
All of Gojo's hard edges are softened while Yuta wears his face and that only grows more pronounced as he meets Yuji's gaze, the tourmaline blue of his eyes somber yet resolute. ]
Even so, if you want to be mad, be mad. It's okay if you hate me for this.
[ Someone probably should when not even Gojo himself will. ]
I knew what I was doing when I went against everyone's wishes with this plan.
no subject
[ Yuji turns away. It's not easy to look at him, using Gojo's face, wearing his skin as if it fits him properly. He can remember how Yuta-as-Gojo helped in the fight, but he still wishes that it hadn't happened, that he hadn't shown up at all. It might be a cruel thing, a harsh thing, something nasty and violent inside of him, but... It's hard to quash the sensation, quash the feeling as he smothers all the strange bitterness inside of him.
It's impossible not to be so upset, so deep in his own emotions, but he stops himself from giving into the urge as he blinks back his tears. ]
Did anyone even think of telling me about it?
[ Gojo-sensei didn't mention it in their last conversation, Yuta didn't mention it, Maki didn't... No one thought he was good enough, or could handle it.
It explains why they were all so stressed as Gojo fought - more than expected, anyway. ]
No, it's... Whatever. Was Rika-san okay?
no subject
Mm. I put her through a lot, but Rika-chan was okay.
[ She's content so long as he lives, easy to please like that, and she'd been over her tears and heartbreak the moment he made it back to his own body. He almost wishes she'd stay upset with him a little more as would be deserved, but that is not her nature.
As for Yuji's previous question... Yuta briefly drops his gaze again and draws a quiet breath, trying to figure out how to best word the answer, see if there is a way to put it delicately or make it sound better somehow. There isn't, not really. And Yuji deserves the truth after everything. All of it. There's no reason to hide anything anymore. ]
... Because of previous resonance between Sukuna's fingers, Todo-kun was worried that your connection with Sukuna might mean you could unconsciously leak our plans to him. That's why no one told you.
[ A valid concern. Except Yuta had known better and he confesses it without delay, does not think twice about it even if it's an excuse he's been cleaving to recently as well. ]
But I knew the likelihood of that was very small. More than anything, I just didn't want to make you lose your composure before the fight.
[ He'd told Mei Mei as much, but what he hadn't told her: ]
And if I had been in your shoes, I would have wanted to stop me.... [ Because if anyone cares as much about Gojo (as a person) as Yuta does, it's Yuji. ] I'm sorry, I could have convinced them. I was being selfish. Please don't blame the others, it's on me.
no subject
He knows that. He knows, that in a few days, he'll have mourned this situation again and moved forward, he'll have forgiven Yuta for the choice that he made, that he would be able to look at him and not see the ghost of his dead teacher in his eyes. Being here, in the middle of the memory, fresh and in pain and aching...? It's hard to do anything except suffer the hurt of it, like someone shoving at his heart and leaving him breathless.
Does it hurt more, knowing Todo spoke against him, too? That he couldn't be trusted because of Sukuna? He can't decide, and he has to force himself to breathe in and out, has to force himself to bite back the strange swell of tears that bite at his eyes and make him feel weak and pathetic all over again. He really is just...
Weak, huh.
Refusing to cry, he swallows. ]
Even after all the things I've done... I would've been able to handle it, senpai.
[ Yuji flicks his eyes back over to him. He's wounded, he's hurt, he's angry - and he's ready to get out of here, get out of this memory, to disappear and go somewhere else. He doesn't want to be here any more. ]
I hope, in the future, you can trust me properly.
no subject
The words are there, true and full of protective sentiment, but they just feel like a feeble excuse when the aftermath has only hurt Yuji more than simply telling him beforehand likely ever would have. Yuta can't bring himself to say them. Especially not when Yuji looks at him on the verge of tears and says that. It's a dagger straight to the heart given that he's already been scheming behind everyone's backs and the swift rising of guilt and shame have him ready to crack and spill everything right then and there. Only he can't. It wouldn't be fair to his co-conspirator. Although he's not even sure if Geto ever wants to talk to him again after their last encounter. All of Yuta's well-intentioned plans to protect everyone and take care of Sukuna might have been dashed upon the rocks already. So what does it matter?
All he can say — repeat — is: ]
I'm sorry.
[ Tight and quiet on account of how hard it is getting to breathe with his heart being held in the vice-like grip of all too familiar sorrow and guilt. He doesn't have the right to get upset here, he knows that. But between being forced to face a friend's hurt and sit here in his teacher's skin, feeling like a vile intrusion, all that suppressed grief dragged right back up to the surface, it's a struggle not to drown in the swell of emotions.
In the background Shoko is saying something to Rika — the words distant and unintelligible as though being perceived from underwater — and he dimly has to wonder how this memory is even continuing to play out when he'd already long left the room to rejoin the fight. Either his brain is filling in the gaps or, he suspects, Rika is. She's an extension of himself, she was here, she'll have known what happened. He desperately doesn't want to be here.
Trying to save his crumbling composure or maybe simply to selfishly hide, he lifts his (Gojo's) hands to cover his face and blot out the world. It doesn't. Not entirely. The Six Eyes don't allow for that. He seems to remember that all too well — the sensory overwhelm, the throbbing in his temples. At a loss and on anguish-laden impulse, Yuta throws out a confession, an admission of a different guilt-ridden regret he's been carrying all along. ]
I should've listened to you, then maybe all of this could have been avoided.
[ He should have gone out to help Gojo when he said he would, should have knocked out Kashimo if that's what it took to get out there, disregarded what Hakari and Kusakabe were saying, listened to the one voice spurring him on. Maybe if he'd just gone with his gut in that moment they wouldn't be here. ]
cw: suicide ideation/thoughts (past/current)
Isn't it the same for him taking on the role of Sukuna's vessel? He did it to protect Megumi at first, sure, but then it became his role, his job. He carried those burdens because the idea of letting anyone else take them on was too impossible to imagine, too hard to think about; this was his struggle. If he could carry the weight of having a monster living inside of him, it meant the people around him would be safe. In the end, he would be able to die knowing that they'd be okay, and that his life had some kind of purpose.
That purpose had been stolen from him by his own stupid decisions, and he can't help, even now, sometimes wishing that he hadn't made the binding vow, that he hadn't come back to life. At least then some of the people he loved might have lived a little longer - that some of the people that died because of him might have had more of a chance at living. It's a regret that he's still working through, still managing, as hard as it is, and not one that he can speak aloud to too many people for fear of being scolded or misunderstood.
It's not as if he still wants to die. Things worked out, and he's had some time to work through those feelings, to try and manage how it feels to have survived at too high a cost. It's only... It might be easier if he had died, and then so much could have been prevented.
Yuji Itadori was a one in a million vessel, but maybe he shouldn't have been.
Either way, right now Yuji doesn't want Yuta's apologies, doesn't want anything from him. He doesn't want to deal with the strange echo of hurt and disappointment he feels, or to look into Gojo-sensei's eyes and see unfamiliar grief and pain there. He knows that if he goes to his teacher about this he'll likely be scolded for being a crybaby again, but it can't be helped, can it? How is he meant to be able to handle this, to measure out his emotions and muster the strength to get through it?
He's barely seventeen. Yuji might feel as though he has grown, as though he is an adult, but he is still a child soldier in a war he barely signed up for.
Breathing out shakily, he lifts his hand and turns away, not able to look any more - to hear Ieiri-san's words, Rika's tears, anything that Maki has to say. He just can't deal with it anymore, the grief an open maw in his heart where a monster wants to tear him to pieces and leave him bloody and bleeding.
It's easier to just go, and let Yuta find his way out of his memory. ]
It's a little bit too late for that, senpai.
[ And with that, parting words a little icier than he might have intended, Yuji is turning to walk out the door of the room, and hopefully out of the memory. ]
no subject
There's nothing he can say in response, no words or actions that can possibly soothe the deep hurt he's inflicted, so Yuta can only watch from behind his hands how the swirling colorful dance of Yuji's cursed energy disappears entirely once he walks out the door. He's left to sit there, alone in the awful memory, present to hear Rika plaintively wail between her sobs: ]
Y̷U̶U̴T̷A̶A̷.̵.̷.̵Y̷O̷U̸ ̴P̸R̶O̵M̴I̷S̵E̷D̷.̴
[ And don't come over here too soon, okay?
Something just fractures inside of himself, forcing him to clench his teeth hard so the sound of his heartbreak can't find its way out of the wrong mouth. He could tell himself that this isn't her, not truly, but this Rika inherited all her feelings and memories and it doesn't change the fact that he had agreed. He almost died and in doing so nearly broke his promise to her only a year after making it. He just can't seem to stop hurting those he cares about, can he? (There is no curse more twisted than love. His most of all.)
Crying in this body would feel like breaking something sacrosanct, defiling the memory of his teacher even further, and so he refuses to let the tears fall. He squeezes his eyes shut tight and only permits himself a gasped out plea. ]
Enough. Please.
[ Whether his anguished wish is heeded or it's because the memory is starting to shift — voices raising, commotion stirring, are the three minutes he lasted up? — it all goes quiet abruptly. When Yuta lowers his hands, they're his own again, engagement ring in its rightful place. He's back in Alexandria and Yuji is gone. The thought to go after him is dismissed before it can even fully form. That's probably the very last thing he should do.
Instead he wipes away whatever dampness lingers on his lashes and lets the numbness that usually follows whenever he relives the selfsame memory in his dreams sweep over him, purposefully taking that half a step outside of his body so that everything goes distant and muted. They're on a mission and he has no time to wallow in self-pity.
There is work to do. ]