closed.

[frostfist]

WHO: wriothesley, various
WHAT: 2024 catchall log
WHERE: around
WHEN: march 2024 onwards
WARNINGS: n/a; will be added in thread headers

Comments

[frostfist]

That's it though, isn't it?

[ What's it? Hold on, he'll clarify. ]

You said it yourself: we can wait until they recuperate. I may not be an expert in animals, but what I do know is that mothers don't take unnecessary risks if their children are in danger.

[ But maybe Imugis are different? It's hard to say with how little information they've collected, and he fully admits that he's walking on a slippery slope here. But he also can't sit around and let the people of Seoul suffer, not when they've suffered so much already. Maybe this all just hits too close to home, as someone who's gone forgotten and unseen, whose fate had been discarded in favor of those with more potential.

Her second point certainly doesn't make him feel any better. ]

And if there aren't enough of you to continue? You're willing to throw your life away just to chase after it?

[wheft]

You think that mothers wouldn't do anything to protect their young? They'd want to sink their teeth on the ones who'd want to harm them! That's just common sense!

[ her raised voice is starting to attract the attention of their fellow outsiders and LILITH staff however, and she pipes down, choosing to glare at him. she can't help but be reminded of the countless times they'd had to hunt the pallid whale, how they'd failed each and every time while losing so many hands on deck. her choice doesn't guarantee safety for all parties, but it is, at the end of the day, the most efficient one.

but what's even more frustrating is that the one person who she wishes would see her side refuses to do so at all. she holds her heated gaze on him before turning on her heels for the exit. ]

....I don't have time for this. I need to gather supplies.

[frostfist]

[ Common sense. If only.

There seems to be a lot less common sense these days, buried under too many layers of personal feeling and heated emotion. He's certainly displaying a lack of it right now, the tight feeling in his chest refusing to go away and only growing worse. How much of it is the rift and how much of it is wholly on him? He doesn't know.

She gets up and so does he, though he doesn't quite follow her to the exit just yet. ]

You don't have time for this but you have time to discuss efficiency and sensibility as though human lives are nothing more than numbers?

[wheft]

[ her hand stops short at reaching for the door, head ducked low. just... the sheer audacity of assuming that they're just mere numbers to her would be enough to make her combust, but instead her shoulders tremble slightly with barely concealed frustration. ]

...You think I've never considered that?

[ she swallows around the forming lump in her throat. ]

Even now with these two choices, we're fighting a losing battle for once! There will be blood on our hands either way! And I'd rather fight off one monster now than wait for plenty more that this city will never be prepared for even with our cooperation.

[ they're only like, what, forty-seven of them right now? there's only so much they can do to protect an entire city with what seems to be a genuine threat than the worm they'd faced in vegas. but she's not done yet, as she takes a deep breath and finally faces him with angry tears starting to well in her eyes, her voice cracking. ]

...I've seen people die, Wriothesley. Over and over. No matter what I did, no matter how many preparations I made beforehand, they kept dying anyway. And there was nothing I could do about it. [ nothing except to curl up in the corner of the ship and cry, with no one to spare her any sympathy except with a rare pat of her head. ] So don't you dare assume that I didn't give a shit about human lives. It's just that I've already accepted that we will be seeing numbers regardless of our decisions.

[ it's embarrassing, letting him see her break down again, and so she opens the door and leaves, not caring if the rain outside burns her on the way out.

(it doesn't. but their heated argument just now almost feels like it anyway.) ]

when you spend 5 days trying to think of a good tag but can't...falls to my knees

[frostfist]

[ There's a point in what she's saying. That's why the choice they've been presented with is so difficult; either way, they're forced to sacrifice something.

And it's not like he doesn't get where she's coming from, as someone who's always looked to the future when planning his own moves. If one of the Imugi is in fact a mother, with children on the way, there's no telling how much devastation they could wreak. But at the same time....betting everything on a nebulous future doesn't sit right with him when there's a difference they could make now.

Ishmael stalks outside and he—follows, not because he wants to try and blow holes in her argument or escalate things worse, but because he wants to confirm something. The rain, once he steps outside, is harsh, biting into his skin, but he pays it no mind. ]

So you're risking your life and the lives of those back in the city for a future that may or may not happen?

[ In contrast to the rising pitch and volume of her voice, his own seems to have dropped, carefully reined in despite the unhappy feelings roiling in the pit of his stomach, made worse by the tears brimming in her eyes. A crack of lightning fills the air, briefly illuminating the area around them. ]

And if we don't catch the Imugi? If we don't manage to kill it and it escapes again? Will the choice still have been worth it for you?

it's ok i'll set us free soon 🥹

[wheft]

[ she stops in her steps once more, clenching her fists as the cold seeps into her bones. this isn't the first time they fought, the lightning reminding her of their rather electrifying ordeal some months back and the way wriothesley had also tried to stop her from storming off and leaving him behind. but this time, there's suddenly more stakes than their ragtag group could handle. this time, civilians' lives are on the line. if their arguments can simply be solved by kissing it away, all the better.

but it's never that easy. she has a moment of clarity for a moment, and she turns to face wriothesley once more with tears streaming down her face and a wobbly lip. he has always been the calmer one between them, even with his bridled anger over the whole situation, and ishmael wishes she could be more like him -- someone who could rein it all in instead of letting her ugly emotions spill over and muddy everything between them. ]

...I'd be mad at myself, of course. [ she admits, her voice wavering. ] There are still... so many factors we don't know right now. And back then, I... I also wanted to stay behind before going back home. Avoid the inevitable. Begged for it, even.

[ she wipes at her ruddy eyes with the back of her hand. she can't get any more unkempt even if she tried, her hair even frizzing up from the worsening weather. ]

But my own experiences made me realize... that I'm simply terrible at saving people, no matter what I do. And I don't think that's going to change.

[ she just... can't see the silver lining in all this. though it could easily be blamed to the rift poisoning preventing her from thinking clearly, at the end of the day the City™️-brand she and her peers possess is unmatched.

and with one last snivel, she gives wriothesley a look of utter helplessness before walking off. she's already made up her mind, and she Will make her bed then lie in it if it all goes wrong (because it can and it will). ]

and then we start a new thread on the tdm

[frostfist]

[ For all that he enjoys a good tussle in the ring and a levelheaded philosophical debate, he's never liked actual fights, the ones that spiral out of control and end with loud voices and raised fists. He's witnessed enough violence in his life—as have most people here, he thinks.

Yet here they are anyway, hair soaked through with rain and a tumultuous ball of emotions restlessly coiling through both of them, made worse by the constant days of tracking and fighting and pushed to a boiling point by the decision that's been dropped upon them with no warning. It's not like him to needle or overstep but he's gone and done both anyway, and with the person who means the most to him out of everyone here. (What kind of asshole makes their girlfriend cry anyway?)

There's a lot he could say (and wants to say), the words bubbling up to his throat unbidden. But they get stuck there, tangling into knots and coming out jumbled. Whatever charm and eloquence he might have had before is long gone, washed away by frustration and exhaustion, and all he can do is listen and watch as Ishmael turns away. And then it's his turn to run his hand across his face and through his hair, a frustrated noise escaping into the air. If this was a kdrama, there'd be another flash of lightning before he makes the decision to chase after her, one hand reaching out to grab her arm and spin her around, an apology tumbling forth along with pleas for her not to go.

Alas, reality doesn't work that way, and instead of a passionate making-up makeout in the (acid) rain, he turns the opposite direction. Damn. Time. He'll give them both some time, maybe a few days, to cool down before he finds her again. They'll sort things out then.

(And then a few days becomes like two weeks.....F.) ]