synflux | closed.

[ He hears her more than he sees her leave, the light pad of footsteps followed by the soft click of the door as it shuts behind her.

There hasn't been much time for an actual talk, between the sudden blare of the alarms in their oculars informing them of their next mission, the whirlwind energy of a man Wriothesley has decided he will avoid at all costs from here on out, and then having to cram themselves like sardines into an oversized van. Unfortunate, because he definitely still owes her a talk.

It's a good thing he hadn't fallen asleep yet then, because it makes it easier for him to slip out and follow her some minutes later, making sure the door to the van closes softly behind him so no one else gets woken up. Then it's just a matter of following the footsteps in the sand and then taking a seat next to Ishmael. Hopefully she doesn't mind the company. ]

Much more tolerable at night out here.

[ The fuckin heat......he's gonna die. Also did anyone tell him about sunscreen, is he crispy already. I guess he's a little redder than usual. ]

[ other than the slightest of jumps at wriothesley's voice, ishmael doesn't seem too surprised at seeing him here. in fact, she was hoping a little that they could meet like this, without the prying eyes of the other people who are on the van with them. though she couldn't ask for more than rodion's and yuwon's company, and lucy being as cute and inquisitive as she is for a teen her age, there was simply no time to pull wriothesley aside and just... be with him, even when they were still at vegas.

looks like he had fun, despite the slight sunburn. poor guy. ]

Almost makes me wish we could travel at night. But the thought of staying put under the heat of this sun is torture enough.

[ she lets out a sigh. she is SO NOT looking forward to the morning, even if she'll be behind the wheel again. the AC is simply not enough...

but right now, she extends her arms toward the flame. ] Can't sleep either?

Edited 2024-05-15 02:29 (UTC)

[ Was it fun......................

But no point thinking about the wild adventures of his youth (read: two days ago) when he finally has a moment alone with Ishmael and plenty of things he needs to say, the first of which is accompanied by a flash of smile. ]

You know you can always avail yourself of my services if you need them.

[ His magical cooling hands, specifically.

It's half-serious half-joke and he doesn't give her much time to respond before he's moving on, expression turning a little more sober. ]

I believe I also owe you an apology.

[ For avoiding her the few days before Vegas. ]

[ oh, she knows she can just ask him for his services anytime. but that's not what they're here for, and ishmael blinks at his apology. huh, now that's unexpected ]

I thought the flowers are more than enough.

[ it's a very sweet gesture. no one's gone out of their way to do that before. real flowers are rare and expensive to get in the City, after all. ]

But... apology accepted. I'm just relieved you were able to join us on this trip in time.

[ she smiles, and while she's in the mood for some idle chatter now, she's going to busy herself with tying her impossibly long hair back into a high ponytail. ]

What exactly were the symptoms, anyway? I didn't get any flus or anything like that the last time I got surgery. [ just your usual kind of pain... ]

[ The high pony......cute. Thanks for the flash of exposed neck as she sweeps all her hair up, please ignore the way his gaze shifts over and lingers on it a little too long.

What's not cute is her question, the reminder of his particular symptoms has his good humor disappearing entirely, an unhappy frown settling on his face as he closes his eyes and lets out a long-suffering sigh. ]

I'd rather not talk about it. [ Seriously, let this one thing stay dead. ] Suffice to say I ended up with some extra energy I needed to burn.

[ Extra energy that needed to be burned in a very specific way. ANYWAY. Enough about him. Briskly, he moves on. ]

Do you have a favorite flower? I'll ask for it next time.

[ Next time......... ]

[ that's so needlessly vague that ishmael is going to narrow her eyes at him for that. he's probably making a big deal out of nothing, sheesh. but fiiiine, she won't press the issue for much longer. ]

A favorite flower? I haven't really thought about it.

[ she finishes up her ponytail and plops her chin on her hand as she thinks about it. ]

I do like... white flowers, though. Like the one you gave me a while back. [ the hairclips. she will get some use out of them soon, she swears. ] I don't know what exactly you're planning for next time, but there you go.

[ but somehow, she knows. the camellias he sent her a while back won't be the last, and they won't always going to be an apology offering too.

it really is that time, isn't it. ]

[ White flowers, duly noted for next time. He's already drawing up a shortlist in his mind's eye (though not on the notepad function in their oculars), though he's quick to set that aside, attention refocusing on Ishmael as her posture relaxes.

It's about as much of an acceptance from her as he expects and yet it's still not enough, the question of just what they are hanging answered between them. His gaze never leaves her even as the fire flickers and dances in front of him, and several drawn-out seconds pass before he finally answers. ]

It depends. What do you want?

[ It's a vague question, horrifically open-ended, encompassing a lot of different things he's been meaning to ask for awhile now. But she can pick one to start with, and he'll follow behind until they reach the heart of the matter. ]

[ what a loaded question. ishmael's heart races, realizing that he just gave her an opening. not that she wouldn't need any help coming out with it in the first place, but the fact that they're here now, (hopefully) out of anyone's earshot in the middle of nowhere - it's the perfect time as any to say what she needed to say since that fateful day in kyoto.

she swallows, evading his gaze as she stares into the fire for now ]

...I've been wanting to tell you something for a while now. [ she takes a deep breath. ] I told you bits and pieces about the Pequod, right?

[ please bear with her, she's going somewhere with this. ]

[ The shift in body language is small but he responds accordingly, straightening and turning his body so he can face her more fully, offering up his full and undivided attention.

It may not have been the start he was expecting, but something tells him it'll be important for what's to come all the same. ]

You did. It was the ship you were sailing on, correct?

[ having someone listen to her like this is surreal. it'd be painful relaying everything to him without the help of the golden bough filling in the blanks with painful flashbacks, but perhaps that is for the best. ]

Mm. Back then, I wanted more excitement in my life than just slaving away in the rat race forever. So I joined a Whaling crew. It was... definitely not easy work, and I almost died plenty of times, but I had people looking after my back. People I could call my friends, even. Even when our Captain was raving mad, so long as we had each other, so long as we could continue breathing, we'd have something to look forward to at the end of the day. And we were all happy for it.

[ there were people with no dreams, after all. sometimes, just making it through another day is more than enough. ]

But then... [ she takes another deep, shuddering breath as she brings her flimsy coat closer to herself. ] Long story short, the Pequod sank. I was the only one left alive.

[ While she speaks, he tries to paint a picture in his head of the life she'd lived up until now, though the longer she talks the more muted and melancholy the colors become.

It doesn't feel quite right to drape himself across her as an additional source of warmth, especially when the tremble that runs through her body doesn't stem from the outdoor chill, so he settles for resting one hand atop hers, a small source of comfort easily accepted or pushed away. ]

What happened?

[ To the ship, the crew that manned it, the Captain that led them on their voyage. ]

[ she doesn't push him away. not now, when they've come this far. she does her best in keeping her voice as steady as she could, but much like a skiff, it can't help but waver. ]

Our Captain... She was obsessed with this Whale. The bane of all evils, she used to call it. And that it was our destiny to kill it with our own hands and end everyone's suffering. [ she shakes her head bitterly. ] In the end, we were the ones who suffered under her. She led us to our deaths, and it was only because I managed to survive by hanging onto the coffin my best mate created for herself that I...

[ she swallows again, and shakes her head. no, she's not prepared to tell him the exact details. not yet. she's not here to traumatize him, ok. ]

That's... pretty much why it's taking me so long to say anything. Why it took me so long to call you a friend. Why I'm so desperate to keep you alive. Because I thought that I was already content in staying friends with you while you're still here. But...

[ she finally turns to look at him, misty-eyed as she grabs ahold of his hand again, something that she hasn't realized she's been doing a lot more lately. ]

It's no longer like that anymore, is it?

Edited 2024-05-15 09:34 (UTC)

[ Slowly, a few of the scattered puzzle pieces she's set out begin to click together. Her reluctance to get too close to anyone. The betrayal she'd lightly glossed over that night in her room (surely it must have been this Captain of hers, who'd doomed both Ishmael and the friends she'd made aboard that ship). It's all enough to make his heart hurt, but the real gut punch happens when she finally turns towards him and the firelight flickers off her too-bright eyes.

It's tempting, to reach over and pull her into a hug and tell her that everything will be alright. But that's never been his style and he's sure she wouldn't appreciate the false promises. Instead he stays where he is, one hand over hers, gaze turning away towards the fire, its flames overly bright against the darkness that surrounds them. ]

It isn't. But are you sure this is what you want? [ Not to question her motives or the honesty of her feelings, but there's something he has to make sure of first. ] There's no guarantee I won't suffer the same fate as the crew of your ship. If something happens, will you be able to keep sailing forward without looking back?

[ Maybe it's a bit presumptuous, to think he might hold that much sway over her, but better safe than sorry. Love (like) turns people a little crazy sometimes. It might be hard to turn back at this point, but he'd rather not carve open her heart again if he can help it. ]

I'm willing to give this [ to give us ] a shot, but I don't want to be another body at the bottom of the ocean pulling you down.

[ for a moment, she hesitates - as if she hadn't considered that. but she did ruminate over it for the past couple of weeks now, and she shakes her head harder to the point of seeming petulant. ]

So that's it? You're just going to accept your death like that? [ sorry, but this is such a touchy topic for her that she forgot to be emo for this one moment. ] I never thought you were fragile, Wriothesley. You may be a little too soft around the edges sometimes, but you're strong. You've always been strong to me.

[ he has to be, if she feels this safe around him. if she's been wracking her brain over this and choosing to take the plunge anyway. ]

And... of course I considered that possibility. You could die tomorrow, for all I know. Which is exactly why I want to give this a try now. Because I'm tired of living with regrets.

[ and it's also what she would've wanted, too - to move on and chart her own path. ishmael pauses here to take another deep breath, her hand gripping his tightly like a certain rope she'd held onto like a lifeline. ]

Besides, this isn't just my choice to decide. [ she faces him head on, with fire in her eyes. ] I... want to know what you truly think about me. About us.

[ It's the heat in her voice that has his gaze snapping back towards her, the sympathy on his face morphing into something a little harder, a little more resolute. ]

I never said I had any intention of dying, or giving up so easily. But unlike you, Ishmael, I don't have the luxury of being brought back whenever something happens to me.

[ And yeah, okay, that no longer applies here, but it means he's developed a caution that's sunk deep into his bones that prevents him from jumping right into the thick of things without thinking through all the possible outcomes first. Maybe it's not a method he should be applying to relationships but it's the only way he knows how to operate now, by watching and waiting and thinking.

But they're not here to fight. He doesn't want to break whatever bond might be between them after they've both worked so hard to reach this point.

Carefully, he tugs her hand over until it's resting atop one folded knee, his free hand reaching over to lightly trace over the scars and callouses that dot her flesh, eyes drifting down as he maps out the markings on her hand. ]

I like you, Ishmael. As more than just a friend. [ Might as well get that out of the way first. ] You know I've never been in a relationship before. For a long time, my life had never been stable enough for it and then afterwards....well, I'm not so cruel as to shackle someone to a life in a gloomy underwater prison.

[ The irony of her old dreams buried at the bottom of the sea in contrast with his current dreams anchoring him there. ]

Things are...different here, but that doesn't mean I've changed. I'm not an easy person to deal with. [ Cagey, overly cautious, and deeply possessive of his personal space and privacy. ] And I know, neither are you, but I wanted to make that clear all the same.

[ But he's still circling what needs to be said instead of diving straight for the center. One hand tightens around hers as he finally looks up, while the other lifts to trail fingers through her hair and down the side of her cheek. ]

If you can accept that......then I think we can chart a course together. [ Not to make it weird using sailor terms or anything. ] I'd like to be yours, if you'll have me.

[ They always make it sound so easy and smooth in the opera but unfortunately this is the best he's got right now. ]

[ that's... a lot to take in in one go, and she's already feeling a little heady. not just from his words, but his simple touches feel even more electrifying than usual, and it is a very good thing that it's too dark out for him to see her face grow as red as the fire nearby. not that he can't feel her face burning hot just as intensely, anyway. ]

...You know, I'm still surprised you haven't dated anyone at all. [ sorry, she can't help but tease a little. ] I mean, anyone here would want you. I want you. And it feels weird to admit as someone who just discovered that it's okay to want these things, but... it's true.

[ okay, it's her turn now to close her eyes and take a deep breath. she's sure that being honest has mentally exhausted him, but she wants him to hear this regardless. ]

You drive me crazy. I can't get you out of my head. And I don't know what to do with these feelings, or how to understand them, or how to get a grip on myself again - except to be honest. [ she lifts her free hand to press his palm closer to her warm cheek, her eyes fluttering open. ] You already know this by now, but... I like you. I really like you. And I do want it to go somewhere with you.

[ and like wriothesley, ishmael is all too aware of her own flaws. even now, she's still emotionally unstable. even now, she is overly critical if she wants to, and she can be petty and spiteful if pushed. yet he saw something in her, and vice versa. for her, that is enough.

although, she too could've put it more romantically. she could've rambled a lot less, too. but the most important thing is that they've reached the truth of the matter together -- in this strange new place, and out of everyone's earshot (hopefully). ]

[ Don't worry he's Fr*nch, he'll up the romance factor in a few weeks once they extract themselves from this mission.

But right now it's only honesty hour, a moment made more poignant by the simple action of laying both their hearts bare for the other person to see. It's been a long time since he's let someone in this much, put so many of his cards on the table for someone else to see. But instead of feeling fearful or defensive or ready to bolt at any minute, there's only a strange feeling of lightheadedness, a tingling dizziness that slowly spreads through his veins as his heartbeat pounds too-loud in his ears.

Almost like that night a decade and a half ago, except this time the root of his phsyical symptoms is joy rather than a deep colorless hatred. Blood rushing to his heart and head instead of out of too many wounds covering his body. ]

Coming from the woman every man within a ten mile radius seems to have his eye on.

[ This is also said teasingly, a little disbelieving. Is he jealous? Maybe he's a little jealous. But mostly he's still dazed by the fact that she'd chosen him out of everyone else. Who is he but just an ordinary man, with nothing more than a little bit of charm to his name? ]

Let me stay in your mind then, the way you do in mine. [ As if she's the only one slowly going crazy here. ] I thought about you, you know, all those days I couldn't see you. I wished I was there next to you every time you sent me a picture.

[ He wished for a lot of other things too, but that's neither here nor there. Though since they are both here right now... ]

But mostly, I wished I could do this.

[ 'This' being him leaning forward to kiss her like he's been thinking about for the last few weeks. Wow, their first (official) makeout. ]

[ fantasy fr*nch people really do have unworldly rizz... praying for meursault always

but okay, she has so many questions about that. he's exaggerating, surely. as far as ishmael knows, only izou and kaito had brought her up that night. unless he was still jealous and just kept to himself? because it's not as though the sentiment wasn't mutual either - most of the girls that night had also expressed liking him. the fact that ishmael - a stunningly mediocre human being, an NPC in her own humdrum life until that fateful day - had somehow managed to get his attention...

well, she's not about to squander this opportunity now, now that it's been given to her on a silver platter. the kiss is chaste at first - tentative, like they're both testing the waters. but after being barred from seeing him for days after teasing her with a kiss last time, ishmael may or may not grown more than a little impatient since.

the second kiss is a bit more rough this time as she leans forward, swinging her leg over his thighs as she reclaims her rightful place on his lap. she cups his cheek in her hand as she nibbles at his lower lip, her tongue demanding entry into his mouth. they're in the desert, he is her oasis, and she is so, so thirsty and it shows. ]

[ here stands (sits) a queen finally reclaiming her lap rights—

And boy has Wriothesley never been so happy for it. There's no hesitation as he willingly opens his mouth for her, hand pulling away from her face so it can settle automatically at her waist for a little extra support. That, and he just wants to touch her more wherever he can, now that he's been given permission to.

The heat of her tongue, the weight of her in his lap...it all sends a thrill through his veins and a shiver down his spine—not of fear but of anticipation and desire. He doesn't need any surgery side-effect to respond appropriately, every erratic beat of his heart and gasped breath between their lips prompted by one thing: Ishmael and Ishmael alone.

He matches her in fervor and pace, tongue lapping against hers and teeth occasionally scraping against her lip, but somehow it doesn't feel like enough. So he pulls her closer - thank the archons it's so much cooler at night - and then takes the initiative to slip his hand underneath her shirt, fingers skimming across the bare skin underneath.

Man, why the FUCK do they have to share campervans with other people, huh? :/ ]

[ maybe because they decided to wait until their trek into the desert than confessing in somewhere private........ :/

and maybe they should've done this sooner, because the way his callused fingers trace across her skin is enough to get a soft moan from her, and she can't help but grind her hips down to meet his. this is dangerous, she thinks. she's trying so hard not to get obsessed over something again, but she's already starting to lose her mind, her affections slowly giving way to lust. and this is not the right place for it. ]

Mm, wait.

[ she reluctantly breaks off the kiss, raising a hand up to comb through his dark hair. ]

We really shouldn't go any further than this.

[ and yet she doesn't move his hand from underneath her shirt because she likes it 😳 but give her a moment to catch her breath, leaning her forehead against his as she does so. ]

[ ughhhhhhhhhhhhhghghghghghgh

He looks actively unhappy when she pulls away, a low sigh of - disappointment? frustration? - echoing between them as he holds himself back from chasing after her. Ignoring the fact that sand's going to get everywhere if they go any further than this, there's still the matter of their slumbering companions back in the van less than twenty feet away. ]

You're right.

[ The fingers combing through his hair feel nice though, as does her forehead against his. He'll take that small comfort where he can. He also will not be removing his hand until she makes him though. ]

I won't hold back next time though.

[ Next time....it's always next time with this guy. ]

[ is he really pouting? what a baby. still very cute, though. if he moves his hand further up her shirt, she won't even complain... much. they still have to consider the time and place, unfortunately :/ ]

Just don't make me wait too long again.

[ she's also whining a bit though, so is she any better than him? probably not. ]

Besides, I want to make up for lost time. [ she shifts on his lap then ducks down to rest her head against his chest, arms coming around to embrace him. ] I still feel a little bad for not staying longer in this position last time, so you're going to have to stay put for a while.

[ she will take advantage of her lap rights now, dammit. but also, she's mentally exhausted from their honest hour a little while ago. gonna let them percolate on that for a bit. ]

[ 🥺🥺🥺🥺

But wait actually, this is kind of comfortable too? With her curled up against his chest and her arms wrapped around him. That one hand of his is still staying under her shirt (sorry Ish) but the other one does at least wrap the rest of the way around, finishing up the hug on his end. ]

I think that depends on how long we're out here.

[ In this hellscape of a desert. But at least he doesn't sound as disappointed now, only a little amused. ]

And good, because I don't want to go anywhere. [ Not when he finally has her in his arms like this. ] Though we should probably head back sooner rather than later, in case someone decides they want a late night glass of water.

[ see if he uses a little bit of cryo on her skin there, she'd literally melt in her arms. but it's already cold right now, so. maybe next time. ]

I think we'll be here for... around two weeks?

[ and then it dawns on her. she can't fuck him until after the kaiju is dealt with because there is NO WAY they're gonna get actual privacy from all these bozos while they're out here in the middle of nowhere. that's so fucked up.

she's... going to try not to think about it, though. she's not the one who got cursed with horny around here. instead, she just gives him a squeeze in response. ]

Sure, in a bit. But I do want to lay down some ground rules first, just to be on the same page with you. Is that okay?

[ RIP to both of them as they're forced to wait two more weeks to bang. That delayed gratification, man....

In the interim, Wriothesley straightens, sitting at attention a little more now that she's broached the topic of ground rules. Not enough to shift her off his lap or anything, but enough to show that he's paying attention. ]

Sure. [ He knows how to talk business way better than anything personal. ] Go ahead.

closes everyone's eyes

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sighs tiredly over my tl;dr

sighs with you

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