synflux | closed.

[ can't a girl sit on her man's lap innocently anymore, damn. although maybe she should've thought twice before sitting on said man's lap when they're about to talk about marriage (along with lingering thoughts of a Slightly Mean Wrio in her mind), but welp. too late now. ]

I just... wanted to be on the same page as you on this. Truth be told, I wouldn't have thought about it now if it weren't for some guy meddling into our business before we even got together as a couple.

[ fuckin' elysium, man......... ]

What are your own thoughts about marriage? Assuming that you'd lived a more peaceful life on the surface. Are you open to it if... you know.

[ "you know" could imply so many things, but. yeah. she's actually a little flustered about the topic, but here it is, out in the open. ]

Edited 2024-06-05 22:22 (UTC)

[ This is a very deep conversation to have at [checks watch] 7 am in the morning. Or however early it is right now, early enough that he does blink owlishly at her at the sudden question. ]

Isn't it a little early to start talking about marriage?

[ Both literally and figuratively. But before she starts accusing him of not taking her seriously he shifts underneath her weight, lips pursing into a frown as he thinks....for a good minute or two. ]

I don't know. [ Is what he eventually settles on, a simple and vague answer. ] The only real personal experience I have with marriage is, well, my foster parents, so you can imagine I don't have any particularly pleasant associations with it.

[ Another pause. Unconsciously, his fingers start worrying at the fabric of her shirt. ]

Marriage also requires a certain amount of committment and trust that I don't know if I can give any time soon. [ Or ever, really, but he'll puzzle out that one when it comes. ] Is that a dealbreaker for you?

[ They've only been dating for like two weeks.....help. ]

[ IT REALLY HAS BEEN LIKE TWO WEEKS... but they may as well get it out of the way now before they fumble over it if that time comes. and even then, ishmael isn't sure if that time would ever come for the both of them. ]

No, it's not. Honestly, I haven't really considered it either. And the more I think about it...

[ hold on, give her a minute to look away from him as she mulls on the right words to say. ]

I don't think I'm ready for that just yet. Or even in my immediate future. Living in the City made me realize that it comes with plenty of risks that I'm not yet prepared for.

[ like the aforementioned commitment and trust, and having the settling down and, wings forbid, having children to take care of. ]

I'm sorry if I sound like I'm pressuring you right now. But basically - no, I don't plan on getting married. [ she reaches for his hand and laces their fingers together to make it final. ] Also, I just realized that we hadn't even had our first date and yet here I am, asking you this. I'm really doing this backwards...

[ aaaaaaahhh ]

[ He can't help it; he laughs. Nothing too prolonged or overwhelmingly loud, just a chuckle full of genuine mirth that rumbles on a little longer than usual. Here he is talking about marriage of all things, when he'd spent the last decade and a half not even thinking about dating.

Truly it's ass backwards but he finds he doesn't mind. ]

It's not exactly the normal progression of things, no. [ His tone is warm and fond. ] But I don't think either of us would consider ourselves normal people.

[ He, who had murdered his foster parents and spent over a decade in prison. She, who'd been gaslit and betrayed by her ship captain, and had lost everyone who ever mattered to her. Two deeply scarred people trying to explore uncharted territory together. It's only natural for them to fumble a little.

He smoothes his thumb over her fingers, content with the simple handhold. ]

I'm guessing this means no kids for you either, right?

[ Just checking. ]

[ her kneejerk reaction is to berate him for laughing at her own clumsiness, but the fact that she haven't seen or heard him laugh like this before stops her at the last minute. he sounded so cute and carefree just now, so she's going to let it slide for once.

instead, she shakes her head at that question. ]

I still have the whole world to explore. And... this world is simply not safe enough to raise a child, in my opinion. I'm sure you of all people would understand.

[ she ducks her head low almost guiltily. it's a shame, tbh. he'd be so good with kids, mostly because of everything he'd been through. ]

[ His laughter fades, some of his good humor subsiding. They haven't always seen eye to eye on things (and certainly won't in the future), but on this subject he can't disagree. ]

I do.

[ He wouldn't even bring another adult into this world if he could help it, let alone a vulnerable child deserving of so much better. ]

I don't envy anyone trying to raise a family here, with the way things are right now.

[ But that's why they're here, isn't it? To try and eliminate some of the danger and ensure a slightly happier, more hopeful future. Though he would much rather think about the present and how comfortable he is now. Her lowered head makes it easy for him to dip his head down and press a quick kiss to the top of her head. ]

Anything else we should cover while we're at it? Anniversaries? Retirement funds? Who gets what in the divorce that isn't happening?

[ Now he's just messing with her. ]

[ well, that got her to laugh a little, at least. fine, fine, she gets it. it's way too early for those things, and there's no guarantee that they'll be here long enough for any of that. she just... wanted to be sure, that's all, and knowing that wriothesley shares the same sentiments as hers for the immediate future has helped in taking off some of the minute stressors she has in mind.

and now that's left is - uh oh. ]

There's one more, but... [ her cheeks suddenly flare red. ] Just. Don't take this the wrong way, okay?

[ please don't take it against her she needs to get this out of her system before it continues to haunt her PLEASE....... ]

[ It's a good thing she's got her head bowed then so he can't see the worst of her flushed cheeks. Though maybe it would have been better with the visual cue, because the words are enough of a concern on their own.

He frowns, trying to suss out her meaning off of what little she's said. Slowly: ]

Take what the wrong way...?

[ Did he accidentally do something to piss her off?? ]

[ he didn't do anything to piss her off at all. in fact it may have achieved the opposite effect... 😭 ]

How do I put this... Um, back in that memory when you were holding that guy up by the neck and threw him down? And just threatening him like that...

[ she gulps. ]

I thought that was very attractive of you. [ she lets out a huff THERE SHE SAID IT. ] Not that you should ever put your hands around me like that, but... I'd thought you were too soft and nice to me until recently, so.

[ yeah. god. she's aware that she's yapped too much, so maybe she should crawl off his lap now that she said it hahahaha bye ]

Edited 2024-06-06 08:20 (UTC)

[

Well. That's unexpected. But not entirely unwelcome?

Though he does have to take a minute to process her words, combing through with a fine point to make sure he's understood her right. ]

So what you're saying is…..you find that side of me hot and you want me to order you around a little more in the future.

[ 🔎 ]

Not ordering me around exactly, but... you could stand to be a little mean to me every now and again. Mostly in bed.

[ because she doesn't want their usual dynamic in public to change much after this revelation but... yes. she finds that side of him very hot and just saying it out loud makes her want to walk back into the sea ngl. she lets that sink in for a moment. ]

...There's something wrong with me, isn't there. You can say it.

Edited 2024-06-06 23:05 (UTC)

[ If there's something wrong with her then there's also something wrong with him because now he's deeply pondering all the things he might be able to get away with in the future.

Fuck, but this campervan situation is sooooooo annoying.

He flashes a smile at her, overwhemingly satisfied. The kind of smile that deserves a punch to the face. ]

On the contrary, I find myself very interested in seeing your reactions in the future.

[ Leaning forward, he pitches his voice low, lips brushing the outer curve of her ear. ]

No takebacks, okay?

[ usually, he'd only say that whenever he's sure she can handle the consequences after. and normally she comes out of it just fine, but seeing that shit-eating grin on his face has made her realize that maybe there are just some things she should keep to herself instead of blabbing to her bf as usual.

at least the chill that went down her spine as he teases her felt nice. ugh, it's already begun, hasn't it? ]

...Now you're making me want to take it back. [ SIGHS, then slides off his bed. ] Well, whatever. Come on, up and at 'em.

[ but yeah, fuck this campervan situation, am i right? she really, really can't wait to be free from these vans once and for all. ]

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