[ Following a conversation with Ishmael, Kaito finds himself slinking down the hall to Malkuth's room. Her aura's present—and active, suggesting she's awake. So, he waits. And waits.
...He waits some more.
A solid forty minutes pass before Kaito realizes he should have just sent the girl a message. Idiot.
Over voice: ]
Hey. It's Kaito. Got some time for a morning chat? I'm outside.
[ chair's fine, her desk is covered with various books from the library here and her own personal book, thick and paged with various colored bookmarks. malkuth takes to sitting on her bed instead, smiling. ]
[ Her typically infectious smile doesn't quite reach Kaito. He offers a small beam in turn, but it never reaches his eyes. Still, he does a good job at not looking overtly worried as he sets his gaze to hers. ]
Could you tell me about these 'threat levels' that exist where you're from?
I was speaking to Ishmael earlier this morning, and she compared you to a WAW-level threat. She wouldn't elaborate.
[ she rests back against her hands, looking up at the ceiling for a moment before she straightens again and exhales. explanation mode: concise, somewhat cheerful in that managerial way, and thorough. ]
When working Abnormalities, beings in our world that can resemble everything from a human to a pad of paper, one has to be mindful of the threat level they're given! The higher it is, the more dangerous the Abnormality is too -- in the sense of its destructive force, how difficult it is to suppress, and how many lives might be lost during suppression. An ALEPH-level Abnormality would be reserved for employees that were thoroughly trained in various suppression techniques, as well as being well-equipped with appropriate gear born from other Abnormalities, but that's a whole other discussion... and a number of them might still die.
[ one that she's not going to get into at the moment. instead, she'll stand and go to her book. flipping through it, there's a few things a quick reader can gather: recipes, likes and dislikes of certain individuals she's met, notes about LILITH and Neo Tokyo... titles like "Book of ___" with differing names penned down, more of a sorted list than anything,
until she settles on a familiar looking sight, at least to him. the happy teddy bear's arms resemble the very same she'd used in their battle simulation. ]
This is an HE-level threat, formally known as T-04-06 and informally known as the Happy Teddy Bear. In the scale of things, it's about midway and, if it was the sort that breached containment, would be an intermediate difficulty to suppress with maybe one, at max two deaths. The lowest threat is ZAYIN, then it's TETH, followed by HE, WAW, and ALEPH in that order. T-04-06 was known to hug employees to death that worked with it twice in a row, so we'd instruct them to work with that Abnormality in shifts.
[ her hand lingers on the poor thing, lonely and wanting to be remembered, before she shuts the book again. ]
So in other words, for Ishmael, I'm a threat that can't be taken out alone or without proper planning, and more than a handful would die trying. I'm almost surprised she clocked me that fast! Usually you have to observe them for a bit before you can work out just how dangerous they are, so I guess she's just going off of my current workplace more than anything.
[ though
ishmael isn't wrong to consider her dangerous. she can employ a WAW-level Abnormality. it drains her in a way that sucks, but it wouldn't take much to kill the other, Fixer or not. ]
[ Abnormalities. Suppression. Death everywhere. The cold, methodical names of said Abnormalities. Those bear arms... Kaito takes it all in, but above everything else, he pays close attention to how Malkuth carries herself throughout the explanation. It's as if he's listening to a factory manager explain the ins and outs of a warehouse's facilities.
Just what the hell is the City? What are Malkuth and Ishmael? Would he also be an Abnormality to be suppressed if he stepped into their world?
...It's a lot. But Kaito's a good listener, and he makes note of every little detail to ruminate over later. More questions will surely arise in time. For now, however, he props his head in one hand while lifting the other up to Malkuth's face.
A scarred, callused fingertip presses against the tip of her nose. Booped. ]
[ she jerks back in surprise, taking the book with her this time. physical touch isn't
something that is kind, isn't hurtful or intending harm in some way, even if she knows they're friends. they aren't touchy as coworkers in the Library either. ]
Not at all. I'm not even a threat to Ishmael, honestly -- according to her, my workplace is gone. But I want to help people, Kaito. Not hurt them. That's all we ever wanted to do, from the very start... even if our paths went astray in the middle, that's all.
[ So the Malkuth button makes her drift back a foot and a half. Noted.
Kaito's expression hasn't changed much throughout the explanation; level, a little stoic, but framed by sharp golds and curiosity. That inquisitive gaze persists even now. ]
Ishmael stated in no uncertain terms that I should drop our friendship and stay far away from you. She's made it very clear that the relationship between you two is complicated at best.
You don't have to share those details with me. And, if there's any worry at all now that I've said all that, I'm not going anywhere. I'd rather have to distance myself from either of you.
Tell me as much or as little as you want, whenever you feel like it. I'll be here to listen.
[ her grip tightens, gaze matching his as she gauges the truth of his words -- she doesn't have an empathetic power that lets her know for sure, but she likes to trust others. she wants to think well of them. malkuth doesn't favor lying, is straightforward and go-getter about most things...
... so she decides he's telling the truth and lets out an exhale. it's okay if he did go, though. it isn't like people abandoning her is anything new. that isn't what she says, though, and... while she still speaks similarly to her other explanation, it's a bit softer. not so much explaining to a new hire as she is just
a friend. ]
The Library is a place where guests, after signing their name on an invitation which states that they understand the risks and rewards of accepting, come to fight those of us within for books. It can be a book that might bring them wealth, knowledge, power... to retrieve a loved one -- anything they desire, they can take it from us: as long as they win, because if they don't then they get added to our collection in the form of the very books they sought to obtain.
[ she opens her book again, staring at the list of books she'd sorted so far. there's many names... many pieces of history, spread across so many pages. little doodles scatter across the pages as she carefully flips each one, committing them to memory again. ]
They don't stand a chance, though. Because no one who works at the Library can die, and we're more than capable of handling whatever is thrown at us as the Library's power grows. It's caused a lot of people pain, and to outsiders we're nothing more than another Wing taking advantage of those desires. [ she doesn't blame them. ] Ishmael knew someone who we received, is all. And the Library itself was on grand scale of threats even the point of time I come from too.
[ This explanation is much harder to take on the chin. It was always Library this, Librarian that, books upon stories upon tales... But this is the truth of the Library? The truth of Malkuth's occupation? (Or what it used to be; he remembers that detail about what Ishmael had said.)
His reaction is obvious—worn on his sleeve like the scars sat beneath it. Golds bore holes into the floor by their feet, but they don't linger for long. When Kaito lifts his gaze, trepidation sits stagnant where curiosity and wonder once flowed. Lips quiver for a beat before he finally lets the word stumble from within: ]
Why?
What was the point of hoarding all that knowledge?
...How far did you and the other Librarians stray from the path of helping people, Malkuth?
If you can believe it, that's not us straying. That's us getting back on track.
[ even if it doesn't sound like it. her gaze remains at the list of names. the sacrifices made... the blood spilled... the lives taken, from day one at l. corp until now. ]
But it's not knowledge we're hoarding. It goes back a little farther... but to put it simply, a certain incident caused the incomplete scattering of Light across the City we live in. It... was a disaster, and the people who lived there felt it more keenly than I ever did -- if you ask Ishmael about the White Nights and the Dark Days, I'm certain she's got some words about it.
The Library's goal is to collect the Light that's currently residing in the people of the City and release it properly this time. The original thought was that by doing so, the curtains of the City would be raised and the people within could live more freely -- they'd believe in themselves, and do good. Or as our head researcher put it, the sickness of their mind would be cured.
Essentially, it's more physical manifestation of hope.
[ always, always to help people. the only ones who could. but good intentions... she won't look at kaito, friend a word too precious to lose. did he still want to stick around? would he distance himself? she's only telling him so much because he asked her, because she wants to be friends -- because they are, said so himself, there's no reason to lie or hide it or... anything.
but maybe she should have? old doubts creep up in the back of her mind and linger. ]
[ Malkuth's not lying to him. Even if he doesn't get it, even if the story becomes increasingly convoluted with every detail shed, he knows she's at least telling him the truth. She wouldn't be able to lie if she tried.
Kaito lowers his head for a moment, steadying his breath. Reel yourself back, big guy. That initial response was a little more emotional than he liked, so he makes sure to compose himself properly before continuing. The issue is obviously too nuanced for him to keep jumping to conclusions.
Eventually, he sits up properly, leaning in the direction of the brunette's gaze. Look at me, he doesn't say. ]
Alright. Maybe I got in my own feelings for a moment there. I have some opinions on power, and knowledge, and the amassing of either or both. But that's neither here nor there. Not right now, anyway.
[ A beat. Softer: ] If the Library was supposed to represent hope, then when did you and the others stray? What happened?
And... just how many lives had to be sacrificed to make things right?
[ it's her room. she can't leave. he has to. her eyes draw back to him, a little wary even as she smiles. small as it is. ]
The story's a lot longer, and a lot more difficult to explain. I'm living my third life right now. Really, I could count this, [ a brief gesture with her hand, ] as my fourth, but only because I once again woke up someplace new, under new management, doing something different.
[ and back to elijah, is she. ]
I won't continue on that, but is there... anything else you'd like to know? About me.
[ Kaito does a lot of thinking. Every little detail he can observe goes into the brainspace. He'd be a good people-reader even without the empathy, but with it... ]
Okay.
[ No longing looks, no disappointment in his tone. Instead, he moves on—just as she wishes. ]
If I had to put it on paper, I'm either on my third, fourth, or million-something-th life.
[ Kaito looks up, offering a sympathetic smile. ]
It's also complicated.
Which life is your favorite so far, and why is it the one where I'm present?
[ odd to meet another person with other lives, and her surprise says as much -- but she laughs a little, relaxing as she shuts her book. is this how people feel when she surprises them with her hobby question? ]
Because I'm free to do what I'd like, even if it's not where I'd like to be free. It'd be nice to design buildings for the people I want to design them for...
[ the shape the world she wants to shape. but that isn't possible for her now, but maybe the malkuth back home... can. someday, it's possible. ]
I like my third life a lot, actually. I'm a lot closer to my coworkers in it-- well, some of them anyway. We didn't really get to have the chance in our other ones.
[ Kaito clocks her surprise, offering a sympathetic smile in turn. It's not the first secret he would have offered, but he's decided that he's not going to be so tight-lipped about all his secrets anyway. Ren already knows about his heritage. Malkuth can have some knowledge about his deaths. ]
No mention of me at all? Disappointing. [ A stern look—followed by a wink. ] I didn't realize you were also an architect. Got any idea what kind of buildings you'd want to design off the top?
I personally can't say I know too much about living multiple lives... In my case, it's just been living through multiple deaths.
[ not the wink she's turning her face to better hide her laugh. busying herself with her book instead. he'll get too big of a head otherwise..!!! ]
We have more in common than I thought, Kaito. I haven't yet, but I know I want them to be colorful.
[ ... she'll step back closer after a moment, because she has been sketching some thoughts since starting her schooling; they're more residential looking, with a rainbow of different shades that rival the neon city they live in now. vibrant, lively, eyecatching. ]
Like this! And to be honest, I know how it feels to die over and over again too -- we're not allowed to die in the Library, after all. But we've gotten better at avoiding that.
[ Kaito notes the sketches. Bright and colorful. Vibrant's a good word for them. Kaito's smile eventually dims as the topic shifts to death. His eyes remain set on the sketches. ]
Did you hate it? Being bound to life? I didn't get much of a say in the matter. Everything occurred over the course of a few hours.
No. I'm thankful for it now, actually -- it sucks, it hurt every time, but as long as I stood up again, I could do what I needed.
[ for the Light. for everyone. ]
The times I hated... were my first and second lives. I didn't get a say in either of those revivals, but at least in this life -- better yet, let's say this form -- I agreed, even if it was reluctantly, to that deal. It hasn't been a blessing, but I don't consider it a curse either.
[ just
something necessary, from the way she speaks, and malkuth pokes kaito's cheek with a finger. ]
It really sucks for you though, huh? Did your deaths happen in that time too?
Thankful, huh. [ In a way, they're still the same. Their deaths pushed them forward, one way or another. When Malkuth pokes his cheek, he just turns into the digit and puffs out a pout. ]
Don't make me eat it, [ he warns, jokingly. ]
It's... not the kind of thing that's believable, I feel. Even if you and I have probably both seen some crazy stuff, I don't know if you'd take my word for it.
...Mine all happened because I was going somewhere. Every step I took was a death incurred. Or, well. The memory of a death, relived. Countless times. [ A lie. He's logged each and every single instance.
Sheepish laughter follows. ]
I'm not sure if I'm still me, honestly. Sometimes I feel like the Kaito who came out of that is just a dead man going through the motions.
[ A long pause follows, during which Kaito leans into her palm. Despite being an empath, he struggles to define the feelings rushing through him in the moment.
So he decides not to, and simply enjoys the warmth of Malkuth's hand over his cheek. Golds lid shut, but are quick to flutter open again so he can look up at her. ]
Yes.
Given the choice, I would walk that path again, every single time.
[ she's made mistakes. but those mistakes made her who she was today. her hand draws back, a phantom weight against her palm lingering as she pushes her book shut and away enough to sit on her desk. ]
Can you do me a favor, Kaito? It's super easy, and I'd be thankful forever.
I have two people who are very important to me here. They're my coworkers, but... we're close enough that I'd be able to call them my friends, if they were at the same point of time as me. The thing is, they aren't -- so if it's not too much to ask, can you keep an eye on them? Be their friend? They don't have anything to do with the Library and all its mess.
[ Kaito mulls over her words. Careful consideration goes into the analysis of her request. He's already seen evidence of time and space choosing not to align those who should be together. Minato is a the first person he thinks of there.
Tap, tap, tap drum his fingers against his chin. Eventually, he nods. ]
I'll see what becomes of us as I meet them.
But you should be aware that I will name-drop you, or even drag you into a conversation. If the factors line up, that is.
Knowing that, do you still want to make this request?
but after a moment, she seems to have another thought and sighs. ]
Fine. I don't want people to connect us, is the thing... to know that we're coworkers -- I can handle myself if worse comes to worst, but they... can't. Not yet. But if we all happen to hang out together, then it's fine.
[ Kaito laughs, nodding his head to the next set of proposals. ]
It sounds like the timelines are really treating you poorly if you don't think they'd be your friends. I can oblige this request. No singling you out, but if it's in the open then it's open game.
Are you worried no one will reach out to them if I don't?
she's thinking.... sorry......... at their current state....? maybe... yeah. yeah, no, it's fine. ]
... They'll be fine making friends on their own, it's more just making sure they stay safe. [ and now, now her tone turns warm. ] Yesod is a little blunt, but he always means well -- he's an honest guy, and he's always wanted to do what's best for everyone involved. Netzach is the same, even if he seems like he doesn't care about anything anymore... there's really no one who's more ready to give someone a hand than that guy, lazy as he can be. If you like me, you'll have no trouble liking them; that I can promise.
[ mm. what else. oh. ]
It's not that I don't think we'd be friends. In fact, I hope we become friends someday! There's just some others here that don't think well of my workplace and it's better if we stay apart.
[ and it's a little lonely being the only person with so many memories of their time together, as the library filled up with people and their noise. maybe a bit of it is for herself. but it's definitely mostly for them. march is definitely not going to agree to those terms so easily either. ]
...Sounds like they're good people with a bad rap. Sounds familiar, even.
[ Kaito straightens up, a little lighter on his... well, not his feet, but y'know. More lighthearted. ]
I accept your request. I'll make an effort to try and reach Yesod and Netzach. And whether or not we become friends, you can consider them under my protection. I'll do my best to make sure no undue harm comes their way.
[ A beat. Kaito trains his gaze on Malkuth's. ]
In exchange, you can't completely isolate yourself from them, you hear? I won't try and instigate any interactions, but it sounds an awful lot like you're taking an intentional step back when I can hear the desire to be close bleeding out of your words. My apologies for presuming... but that's what my gut says.
I'm gonna try and be their friend, but you're my friend first and foremost. I'm looking out for you too, y'know?
[ ... ughhh. she's throwing herself back onto her bed with a sigh, fine, fine, he wins. ]
You have yourself a deal, Kaito. It doesn't sound like you'd let me get away with trying that anyway.
[ his gut is monstrous... sheesh. she'll turn her face to smile at him -- really thankful, she's glad she's got another pair of eyes on them. ]
That's all I wanted to ask you, so... are you done here too? Or do you wanna take up more of my time somehow? I wasn't really doing anything important.
[ Stop making it sound so formal, stupid half-god. Kaito pushes off the chair—but it's not to get away. Rather, he closes in on Malkuth's bed, looming over the brunette... and then he sits down, making himself comfy by her side.
A fond smile beams down from on high. ]
Are you subtly inviting me to monopolize your free time, Malkuth?
I don't usually get to hold anything over anyone, so this is pretty fun! I do have some errands that need to be done this week though, so whether you come or not I'm going out at some point.
[ Kaito huffs, approaching full-pout. But a smile follows. ]
It is, isn't it?
I'll go with you. It's not as if I'm nearly as busy as I used to be back home. Besides, I also have some business in the city. Paperwork to sign, wood to procure...
[ Kaito boops her nose on the come-up. Keeping it even. ]
I'm starting a food truck, so I've gotta pay for the business permit and the materials to build a cart.
It's quite literally just a wooden cart with enough cooking workspace for me to make and sell meals. A novel thing, really... but something I sorely miss from home.
[ ooooh how scary. absolutely terrified of it. can't you tell, she's shaking in her boots at his words. no, she's absolutely doubtful from the ]
Mmhmm.
[ she gives, unimpressed, to the way she flops back down on her bed to reach under for a notebook. ]
Well, you'll have a regular right off the bat with me! I'm not missing my chance to finally have you make something for me, Kaito. You were so-- where is it? Stingy about talking about yourself when we first met-- oh, here it is, [ her notebook, a little whale pen coming with it as she sits up to flip through, ] that I've been curious.
[ she's just not the kind of person who goes up and demands people feed her, is all. not yet. mark of comfort. ]
Kaito leans over to try and peek at what she's searching for only to reel back when she sits back up. That pen is cute.
Stingy is less cute, but the way she smiles while she says it is... Nevermind. Kaito just shrugs. Shrugs! ]
Look, I was a different man back in January. I'd only been in town for a day or two. I'm generally a wary person. Imagine how that mindset reacts to a ball of sunshine waltzing in trying to take pictures. 'Course I was a little stingy! Hmph!
...But I appreciate your future patronage. Rest assured, you'll like what I have to offer. Chef's honor.
Well, the last chef I knew was fairly honorable, even if her ingredients wasn't to mosts' tastes... She believed in experimental integrity and the like.
[ she can give greta credit there. chef's honor. let's see... film, paint, mat, cookbook... actually stopping by a secondhand store would be good too, or maybe a bookstore in genuine if she can find one. how many things can she get kaito to hold for her. ]
I hope there's another festival like that soon. It was a lot of fun going around with such an expert guide.
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malkuth.
...He waits some more.
A solid forty minutes pass before Kaito realizes he should have just sent the girl a message. Idiot.
Over voice: ]
Hey. It's Kaito.
Got some time for a morning chat?
I'm outside.
no subject
wow. he really is right there. ]
Why didn't you just knock?
[ she has no issues pounding on people's doors why doesn't everyone do that. also he can come in if he wants, she'll gesture in. ]
no subject
I dunno. Distracted.
[ Kaito shrugs before marching in and taking a seat on the closest chair or stool or what have you. ]
I wanted to ask you some things. About your home.
And about you, I guess.
no subject
Sure, shoot. Where do you wanna start?
no subject
Could you tell me about these 'threat levels' that exist where you're from?
I was speaking to Ishmael earlier this morning, and she compared you to a WAW-level threat. She wouldn't elaborate.
no subject
[ she rests back against her hands, looking up at the ceiling for a moment before she straightens again and exhales. explanation mode: concise, somewhat cheerful in that managerial way, and thorough. ]
When working Abnormalities, beings in our world that can resemble everything from a human to a pad of paper, one has to be mindful of the threat level they're given! The higher it is, the more dangerous the Abnormality is too -- in the sense of its destructive force, how difficult it is to suppress, and how many lives might be lost during suppression. An ALEPH-level Abnormality would be reserved for employees that were thoroughly trained in various suppression techniques, as well as being well-equipped with appropriate gear born from other Abnormalities, but that's a whole other discussion... and a number of them might still die.
[ one that she's not going to get into at the moment. instead, she'll stand and go to her book. flipping through it, there's a few things a quick reader can gather: recipes, likes and dislikes of certain individuals she's met, notes about LILITH and Neo Tokyo... titles like "Book of ___" with differing names penned down, more of a sorted list than anything,
until she settles on a familiar looking sight, at least to him. the happy teddy bear's arms resemble the very same she'd used in their battle simulation. ]
This is an HE-level threat, formally known as T-04-06 and informally known as the Happy Teddy Bear. In the scale of things, it's about midway and, if it was the sort that breached containment, would be an intermediate difficulty to suppress with maybe one, at max two deaths. The lowest threat is ZAYIN, then it's TETH, followed by HE, WAW, and ALEPH in that order. T-04-06 was known to hug employees to death that worked with it twice in a row, so we'd instruct them to work with that Abnormality in shifts.
[ her hand lingers on the poor thing, lonely and wanting to be remembered, before she shuts the book again. ]
So in other words, for Ishmael, I'm a threat that can't be taken out alone or without proper planning, and more than a handful would die trying. I'm almost surprised she clocked me that fast! Usually you have to observe them for a bit before you can work out just how dangerous they are, so I guess she's just going off of my current workplace more than anything.
[ though
ishmael isn't wrong to consider her dangerous. she can employ a WAW-level Abnormality. it drains her in a way that sucks, but it wouldn't take much to kill the other, Fixer or not. ]
no subject
Just what the hell is the City? What are Malkuth and Ishmael? Would he also be an Abnormality to be suppressed if he stepped into their world?
...It's a lot. But Kaito's a good listener, and he makes note of every little detail to ruminate over later. More questions will surely arise in time. For now, however, he props his head in one hand while lifting the other up to Malkuth's face.
A scarred, callused fingertip presses against the tip of her nose. Booped. ]
Are you a threat to me?
I don't think so. But I want to hear it from you.
no subject
something that is kind, isn't hurtful or intending harm in some way, even if she knows they're friends. they aren't touchy as coworkers in the Library either. ]
Not at all. I'm not even a threat to Ishmael, honestly -- according to her, my workplace is gone. But I want to help people, Kaito. Not hurt them. That's all we ever wanted to do, from the very start... even if our paths went astray in the middle, that's all.
no subject
Kaito's expression hasn't changed much throughout the explanation; level, a little stoic, but framed by sharp golds and curiosity. That inquisitive gaze persists even now. ]
Ishmael stated in no uncertain terms that I should drop our friendship and stay far away from you. She's made it very clear that the relationship between you two is complicated at best.
You don't have to share those details with me. And, if there's any worry at all now that I've said all that, I'm not going anywhere. I'd rather have to distance myself from either of you.
Tell me as much or as little as you want, whenever you feel like it. I'll be here to listen.
no subject
... so she decides he's telling the truth and lets out an exhale. it's okay if he did go, though. it isn't like people abandoning her is anything new. that isn't what she says, though, and... while she still speaks similarly to her other explanation, it's a bit softer. not so much explaining to a new hire as she is just
a friend. ]
The Library is a place where guests, after signing their name on an invitation which states that they understand the risks and rewards of accepting, come to fight those of us within for books. It can be a book that might bring them wealth, knowledge, power... to retrieve a loved one -- anything they desire, they can take it from us: as long as they win, because if they don't then they get added to our collection in the form of the very books they sought to obtain.
[ she opens her book again, staring at the list of books she'd sorted so far. there's many names... many pieces of history, spread across so many pages. little doodles scatter across the pages as she carefully flips each one, committing them to memory again. ]
They don't stand a chance, though. Because no one who works at the Library can die, and we're more than capable of handling whatever is thrown at us as the Library's power grows. It's caused a lot of people pain, and to outsiders we're nothing more than another Wing taking advantage of those desires. [ she doesn't blame them. ] Ishmael knew someone who we received, is all. And the Library itself was on grand scale of threats even the point of time I come from too.
no subject
His reaction is obvious—worn on his sleeve like the scars sat beneath it. Golds bore holes into the floor by their feet, but they don't linger for long. When Kaito lifts his gaze, trepidation sits stagnant where curiosity and wonder once flowed. Lips quiver for a beat before he finally lets the word stumble from within: ]
Why?
What was the point of hoarding all that knowledge?
...How far did you and the other Librarians stray from the path of helping people, Malkuth?
no subject
[ even if it doesn't sound like it. her gaze remains at the list of names. the sacrifices made... the blood spilled... the lives taken, from day one at l. corp until now. ]
But it's not knowledge we're hoarding. It goes back a little farther... but to put it simply, a certain incident caused the incomplete scattering of Light across the City we live in. It... was a disaster, and the people who lived there felt it more keenly than I ever did -- if you ask Ishmael about the White Nights and the Dark Days, I'm certain she's got some words about it.
The Library's goal is to collect the Light that's currently residing in the people of the City and release it properly this time. The original thought was that by doing so, the curtains of the City would be raised and the people within could live more freely -- they'd believe in themselves, and do good. Or as our head researcher put it, the sickness of their mind would be cured.
Essentially, it's more physical manifestation of hope.
[ always, always to help people. the only ones who could. but good intentions... she won't look at kaito, friend a word too precious to lose. did he still want to stick around? would he distance himself? she's only telling him so much because he asked her, because she wants to be friends -- because they are, said so himself, there's no reason to lie or hide it or... anything.
but maybe she should have? old doubts creep up in the back of her mind and linger. ]
no subject
Kaito lowers his head for a moment, steadying his breath. Reel yourself back, big guy. That initial response was a little more emotional than he liked, so he makes sure to compose himself properly before continuing. The issue is obviously too nuanced for him to keep jumping to conclusions.
Eventually, he sits up properly, leaning in the direction of the brunette's gaze. Look at me, he doesn't say. ]
Alright. Maybe I got in my own feelings for a moment there. I have some opinions on power, and knowledge, and the amassing of either or both. But that's neither here nor there. Not right now, anyway.
[ A beat. Softer: ] If the Library was supposed to represent hope, then when did you and the others stray? What happened?
And... just how many lives had to be sacrificed to make things right?
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[ it's her room. she can't leave. he has to. her eyes draw back to him, a little wary even as she smiles. small as it is. ]
The story's a lot longer, and a lot more difficult to explain. I'm living my third life right now. Really, I could count this, [ a brief gesture with her hand, ] as my fourth, but only because I once again woke up someplace new, under new management, doing something different.
[ and back to elijah, is she. ]
I won't continue on that, but is there... anything else you'd like to know? About me.
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Okay.
[ No longing looks, no disappointment in his tone. Instead, he moves on—just as she wishes. ]
If I had to put it on paper, I'm either on my third, fourth, or million-something-th life.
[ Kaito looks up, offering a sympathetic smile. ]
It's also complicated.
Which life is your favorite so far, and why is it the one where I'm present?
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Because I'm free to do what I'd like, even if it's not where I'd like to be free. It'd be nice to design buildings for the people I want to design them for...
[ the shape the world she wants to shape. but that isn't possible for her now, but maybe the malkuth back home... can. someday, it's possible. ]
I like my third life a lot, actually. I'm a lot closer to my coworkers in it-- well, some of them anyway. We didn't really get to have the chance in our other ones.
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No mention of me at all? Disappointing. [ A stern look—followed by a wink. ] I didn't realize you were also an architect. Got any idea what kind of buildings you'd want to design off the top?
I personally can't say I know too much about living multiple lives... In my case, it's just been living through multiple deaths.
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We have more in common than I thought, Kaito. I haven't yet, but I know I want them to be colorful.
[ ... she'll step back closer after a moment, because she has been sketching some thoughts since starting her schooling; they're more residential looking, with a rainbow of different shades that rival the neon city they live in now. vibrant, lively, eyecatching. ]
Like this! And to be honest, I know how it feels to die over and over again too -- we're not allowed to die in the Library, after all. But we've gotten better at avoiding that.
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Did you hate it? Being bound to life? I didn't get much of a say in the matter. Everything occurred over the course of a few hours.
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[ for the Light. for everyone. ]
The times I hated... were my first and second lives. I didn't get a say in either of those revivals, but at least in this life -- better yet, let's say this form -- I agreed, even if it was reluctantly, to that deal. It hasn't been a blessing, but I don't consider it a curse either.
[ just
something necessary, from the way she speaks, and malkuth pokes kaito's cheek with a finger. ]
It really sucks for you though, huh? Did your deaths happen in that time too?
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Don't make me eat it, [ he warns, jokingly. ]
It's... not the kind of thing that's believable, I feel. Even if you and I have probably both seen some crazy stuff, I don't know if you'd take my word for it.
...Mine all happened because I was going somewhere. Every step I took was a death incurred. Or, well. The memory of a death, relived. Countless times. [ A lie. He's logged each and every single instance.
Sheepish laughter follows. ]
I'm not sure if I'm still me, honestly. Sometimes I feel like the Kaito who came out of that is just a dead man going through the motions.
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[ as her hand comes to lay against his warm cheek instead, as if to prove it to him.
... but she gets it. she doesn't feel that way, but she understands. ]
Was it worth it?
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So he decides not to, and simply enjoys the warmth of Malkuth's hand over his cheek. Golds lid shut, but are quick to flutter open again so he can look up at her. ]
Yes.
Given the choice, I would walk that path again, every single time.
If I didn't, I wouldn't be me.
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[ she's made mistakes. but those mistakes made her who she was today. her hand draws back, a phantom weight against her palm lingering as she pushes her book shut and away enough to sit on her desk. ]
Can you do me a favor, Kaito? It's super easy, and I'd be thankful forever.
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I can at the very least hear it out. No promises.
[ Just gotta be honest. ]
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I have two people who are very important to me here. They're my coworkers, but... we're close enough that I'd be able to call them my friends, if they were at the same point of time as me. The thing is, they aren't -- so if it's not too much to ask, can you keep an eye on them? Be their friend? They don't have anything to do with the Library and all its mess.
[ just enough distance is fine. it's okay. ]
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Tap, tap, tap drum his fingers against his chin. Eventually, he nods. ]
I'll see what becomes of us as I meet them.
But you should be aware that I will name-drop you, or even drag you into a conversation. If the factors line up, that is.
Knowing that, do you still want to make this request?
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[ immediate.
but after a moment, she seems to have another thought and sighs. ]
Fine. I don't want people to connect us, is the thing... to know that we're coworkers -- I can handle myself if worse comes to worst, but they... can't. Not yet. But if we all happen to hang out together, then it's fine.
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[ Kaito laughs, nodding his head to the next set of proposals. ]
It sounds like the timelines are really treating you poorly if you don't think they'd be your friends. I can oblige this request. No singling you out, but if it's in the open then it's open game.
Are you worried no one will reach out to them if I don't?
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[ ..........
she's thinking.... sorry......... at their current state....? maybe... yeah. yeah, no, it's fine. ]
... They'll be fine making friends on their own, it's more just making sure they stay safe.
[ and now, now her tone turns warm. ] Yesod is a little blunt, but he always means well -- he's an honest guy, and he's always wanted to do what's best for everyone involved. Netzach is the same, even if he seems like he doesn't care about anything anymore... there's really no one who's more ready to give someone a hand than that guy, lazy as he can be. If you like me, you'll have no trouble liking them; that I can promise.
[ mm. what else. oh. ]
It's not that I don't think we'd be friends. In fact, I hope we become friends someday! There's just some others here that don't think well of my workplace and it's better if we stay apart.
[ and it's a little lonely being the only person with so many memories of their time together, as the library filled up with people and their noise. maybe a bit of it is for herself. but it's definitely mostly for them. march is definitely not going to agree to those terms so easily either. ]
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[ Kaito straightens up, a little lighter on his... well, not his feet, but y'know. More lighthearted. ]
I accept your request. I'll make an effort to try and reach Yesod and Netzach. And whether or not we become friends, you can consider them under my protection. I'll do my best to make sure no undue harm comes their way.
[ A beat. Kaito trains his gaze on Malkuth's. ]
In exchange, you can't completely isolate yourself from them, you hear? I won't try and instigate any interactions, but it sounds an awful lot like you're taking an intentional step back when I can hear the desire to be close bleeding out of your words. My apologies for presuming... but that's what my gut says.
I'm gonna try and be their friend, but you're my friend first and foremost. I'm looking out for you too, y'know?
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You have yourself a deal, Kaito. It doesn't sound like you'd let me get away with trying that anyway.
[ his gut is monstrous... sheesh. she'll turn her face to smile at him -- really thankful, she's glad she's got another pair of eyes on them. ]
That's all I wanted to ask you, so... are you done here too? Or do you wanna take up more of my time somehow? I wasn't really doing anything important.
[ if he'd like
want to do something ]
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[ Stop making it sound so formal, stupid half-god. Kaito pushes off the chair—but it's not to get away. Rather, he closes in on Malkuth's bed, looming over the brunette... and then he sits down, making himself comfy by her side.
A fond smile beams down from on high. ]
Are you subtly inviting me to monopolize your free time, Malkuth?
For the record, I wouldn't mind hanging out.
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I don't think a single person I know would call me subtle, so that's totally your imagination.
[ she is the least subtle person in the world. this will become very obvious someday. ]
Staying inside is pretty boring... do you wanna go around town with me? It'll be our first of three.
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[ A beat. He tilts his head. ]
First of three what?
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Dates.
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[ Oh. Oh, now he remembers. ]
Yoooooou're gonna hold that one over my head, aren't you?
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I don't usually get to hold anything over anyone, so this is pretty fun! I do have some errands that need to be done this week though, so whether you come or not I'm going out at some point.
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It is, isn't it?
I'll go with you. It's not as if I'm nearly as busy as I used to be back home. Besides, I also have some business in the city. Paperwork to sign, wood to procure...
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[ now she's interested. she's sitting up interested. hello. ]
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I'm starting a food truck, so I've gotta pay for the business permit and the materials to build a cart.
It's quite literally just a wooden cart with enough cooking workspace for me to make and sell meals. A novel thing, really... but something I sorely miss from home.
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Wow, how grown up of you. It's almost like you're an adult.
[ she's teasing. ]
I'm just buying some film and hobby supplies... What're you cooking? Ramen?
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[ That's a threat! Threat!!! ]
I don't think I'm going to have a set menu. I'll just think of a dish I like, and that'll be what I make for the day.
If the food's any good, I'll have regulars coming in every day to see what I'll kick up next.
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Mmhmm.
[ she gives, unimpressed, to the way she flops back down on her bed to reach under for a notebook. ]
Well, you'll have a regular right off the bat with me! I'm not missing my chance to finally have you make something for me, Kaito. You were so-- where is it? Stingy about talking about yourself when we first met-- oh, here it is, [ her notebook, a little whale pen coming with it as she sits up to flip through, ] that I've been curious.
[ she's just not the kind of person who goes up and demands people feed her, is all. not yet. mark of comfort. ]
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Kaito leans over to try and peek at what she's searching for only to reel back when she sits back up. That pen is cute.
Stingy is less cute, but the way she smiles while she says it is... Nevermind. Kaito just shrugs. Shrugs! ]
Look, I was a different man back in January. I'd only been in town for a day or two. I'm generally a wary person. Imagine how that mindset reacts to a ball of sunshine waltzing in trying to take pictures. 'Course I was a little stingy! Hmph!
...But I appreciate your future patronage. Rest assured, you'll like what I have to offer. Chef's honor.
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[ she can give greta credit there. chef's honor. let's see... film, paint, mat, cookbook... actually stopping by a secondhand store would be good too, or maybe a bookstore in genuine if she can find one. how many things can she get kaito to hold for her. ]
I hope there's another festival like that soon. It was a lot of fun going around with such an expert guide.