synflux | ( open & closed ) all of my enemies started out friends

[ It really is hard imagining the two of them as related in any way….though he supposes it's not always blood that makes a family. He hadn't been blood kin to any of the children he'd been raised with, but they'd been his brothers and sisters all the same.

Wriothesley waves a hand, dismissive. ]

Not at all. [ He's definitely met way weirder. ] He was very [ hm, what's the right word here ] direct, but I didn't get the impression he was a bad guy.

[ But he could be way off-base here, hard to decipher anyone's true nature based off a single conversation. At the same time, it's hard to imagine Yuji trusting someone enough to voice his concerns to if they were truly malicious in any way. ]

Was he also raised alongside you with your grandfather then?

I offered. [ It's odd that they would do so much for each other, that they would put their lives on the line to save each other, and Yuji still needs permission for this one thing. Does Megumi come off so cold and unkind that he would deny his best friend support when they need it? ]

We're ... best friends. [ He's still getting used to that. Settling into the idea that he has friends, people who are attached to him. That someone likes him enough to call him their best friend. ] You can come to me for anything.

[ Even if he does feel like his actions hurt the other boy more than help at times. ]

[ It's not as though Yuji doesn't want it, or he thinks that Megumi minds, or anything like that - it's a strange disconnect, a discomfort, because he doesn't want to burden or cause problems. He doesn't want to have some kind of nightmare and having Megumi paying the price for it.

He also doesn't want to leave.

Nodding his head, he squeezes Megumi gently, shoulders slumping a little. ]

... Okay. Let's lie down.

I knew a guy who's entire ability was based on gambling. Like a pachinko? And Panda-senpai is literally a panda, so...

[ They both know people with weird and unusual abilities, don't they? Most of his friends - Megumi, Kugisaki, the others like that - seem to have niche, cool abilities that he'd always been envious of. The more sorcerers he meets, though, the weirder it gets, as if the further away from the Tokyo school the stranger people are.

He thought people in the school were weird enough, honestly.

It's getting easier and easier to relax the longer he's next to his friend, all that pent-up tension shifting and bleeding out until Yuji's shoulders aren't hunched up to his ears any more and are, instead, hanging loose. He should've gone to see Bakugo straight away, he thinks, because if there's anyone in the world who would be able to beat some sense into him, physically or just by talking, it would be this friend right here. He just wasn't ready for that until now.

Sighing softly, he closes his eyes and tilts his head back, just a little. ]

I have to try harder to be weirder than "the guy who ate fifteen fingers" anyway, right?

[ A soft, sad laugh. How about the guy who maybe(?) ate his own brothers to get stronger? ]

I know what you're going to say, but thanks anyway, Bakugo.

[ It's a step forward that the other boy is accepting his support, at least. He could very much decide he would rather carry the whole burden alone tonight and lie in the sheets feeling miserable. He still is carrying that whole burden alone with how he's refusing to tell Megumi a thing, but Megumi knows he has his reasons for being the way he is. That's why he never pushes the other boy too far, even if his anxiety and need to make sure his friend is okay might lead to him making some selfish decisions.

There's a shift as he pulls away, but it only lasts for a second. It's so he can settle under the sheets and give the other boy's arm a tug, opening his arms to invite him in. Initiating all this is so foreign to him, as someone who tries to keep a distance between himself and others, but he's getting used to it. Best friends should be able to do something like this. ] If you want, we can do this too ...

[ Yuji still wonders about the whole 'being related' thing, but the connection he feels to Choso is one he can't deny. There's something between them, but he just can't remember what it is. Choso had said some things, but he just can't remember, and that's the most annoying thing.

Either way, it means he has someone he can rely on, and Choso has someone to take care of him as well, and that's all that matters to Yuji right now.

Nodding, he breathes out a little. ]

He is pretty to the point, I think. He doesn't get that much about things like social cues or whatever.

[ Shaking his head, he leans back, giving Wriothesley a little smile. ]

No, we only met a few months ago. He tried to kill me the first time!

[ It is tempting to go back to his own room and curl up there, but even if he does Yuji won't be alone: Choso will be there. It's probably bad, that a small part of him wishes he could cradle this grief in his chest and mourn alone, but he stops himself from giving into the urge. He has to force himself to realise that it's okay to accept the kindness and warmth of his friends, even if it aches a little.

Slowly, he crawls after Megumi, careful of his awkward hands and claws as he settles down, curling closer. It doesn't feel weird to him now, not just because it's Megumi, but because he's getting more comfortable with behind held. That's what happens when you have a leech of an older brother sharing your bed.

Closing his eyes, he breathes out. ]

Yeah... Thanks, Megumi. [ Leaning in, he presses his forehead against his friend's shoulder. ] I'll just text Choso to tell him where I am.

[ Choso's arrival has definitely been a big support, and selfishly, he's grateful for that. He shouldn't wish for Choso to be placed here by LILITH against his will, but for the other boy's sake, he's going to. From what he knows of the half-curse, this is exactly where they want to be, anyway.

There's a slight arch of the back as he feels those claws dig lightly into his back, still a little startled by the feeling. How did this even happen? Did Yuji become a curse as well? He just has so many questions and he doesn't think they will get answered. Still, it doesn't feel weird or off putting. Rather, it's warm, and he finds he likes being depended on like this. ] Yeah.

[ After a few minutes, he sighs into their embrace and starts smoothing out the other boy's pink hairs. On a whim, he leans down, pressing his lips against the other boy's forehead, almost like a stamp of his affection. He then holds him tighter, giving himself permission to express himself just this once - how genuine his care and affection is. How much he has, and it's all pouring out. ]

I don't know what I'm doing back home, but ... I hope we're together.

[ Yuji cannot express how relieved he is to have so many people here that he cares about, so many people that he's not able to watch over and protect as much as he can. Megumi, Kugisaki, Nanamin, Gojo-sensei, Choso... They're all here, and he can do whatever it takes to keep them safe. They might not appreciate it, but that isn't their role. His role is to fight curses and to save Megumi, because he had made a promise. He had sworn it.

He isn't going to give up. There's no way he can give up.

Yuji can't help the way more tears prickle at his eyes with the soft, tender affection that Megumi gives him, the press of a kiss to his forehead, the warmth of his arms... He shakes a little, trying to keep himself together, but he can't. It's impossible. He had been so close to happiness and joy, had been so ready, but it was all ripped from him in the span of a few weeks. Nanami and Kugisaki, Gojo-sensei and Megumi... They're gone, gone, and he doesn't know what to do except fight with all the strength he has left.

He'd do anything to save this boy, and it breaks his heart. He's prepared for it: he's ready to sacrifice himself for Megumi's future, and that means that nothing else matters. He's died twice; why would the third time matter?

Unable to help himself, he curls around Megumi and sniffles, trying to fight his tears but not being able to, feeling them roll down his cheeks as he shivers in his arms. ]

... Yeah. We're always going to be together, Megumi.

[ Yuji will beat the life out of Sukuna. ]

[ there's no resistance when yuji shoves his way into gojo's room.

he isn't entirely sure what he's so mad about, but he's willing to hear him out. closing the door behind them, he leans back against it, only pausing ever so slightly in his movement at the next line that comes out of itadori's mouth.

ah—

fuck. ] Hm? [ he has an unfortunate inkling that his lie's about to get busted wide open, but he ain't gonna jump the gun here either. ] What happened?

You should've said something!

[ Yuji is well aware of why Gojo didn't, and couldn't, obviously, but that doesn't make it any easier for him. It doesn't make him settle down or feel softer about it, especially when his emotions are already going haywire. He's angry, hurt, desperately sad, and taking it out on someone who can handle whatever he throws at him...

That's easy enough. ]

You died! You - you were gone! And I had to watch! And then Higuruma-san as well...

[ The people he loves keep being ripped away from him. How is he meant to cope? ]

[ ...so, that confirms it. he really did die and he didn't come back.

this isn't the time to process that — his — finality though. yuji is the current focus.

gojo can understand where yuji's anger stems from. it's completely within his right to be mad at him for keeping his fate a secret from him and the others, but he isn't going to apologize for it nor does he regret the choice he's made. ]

I wasn't going to put you through it twice. It wouldn't have achieved anything, Yuji.

[ what's done is done. ]

You weren't aware then. Megumi and Nobara still aren't. It would only be cruel of me to tell you guys, when you still had hope.

[ Yuji really does want to lash out, wants to sink into the violent anger inside of him, the urge to punch Gojo-sensei square in the chest overcoming him. He stops himself, but he's digging his nails into his hands, the pinprick feeling of blood on his palms making him frown a little.

It hurts, because his hands are messed up now. He has claws now. He feels dirty with it, less than human, and there's nothing he can do other than tolerate it. ]

It would've prepared me! If I'd have known...

[ It wouldn't have gutted him in the way that it did - the way it still is, the tears coming before he can stop himself, bubbling over. He sniffles, rubbing at his face hard, digging the heels of his palm into the space where the tears are rolling. ]

I... I'm not gonna tell them... I get it, but I'm so mad!

[ Wow. What a story. It's enough to raise Wriothesley's eyebrows up his forehead in surprise. ]

That's quite a first meeting.

[ He has absolutely no context for any of this, and honestly very little knowledge about Yuji himself other than what he's been told in bits and pieces so far, but it's hard to imagine any regular old meeting ending up with intended death from either party. ]

Did you unknowingly steal something from him?

[ Even that seems like a bit of a stretch. ]

Nah, he didn't know we were brothers then? It's complicated.

[ Yuji playing a part in killing Choso's other brothers - his brothers too? He's not sure - before they even met, so Choso wanted vengeance, and then just before he died Choso going a little crazy and stuff... It was a whole messy situation.

Trying to explain his life to people is an adventure in how much bullshit people can tolerate, most of the time. ]

Either way, we're good now. I think if anyone tried to hurt me he'd go insane, so...

Tch. A literal panda, huh. We're surrounded by weirdos.

[And yet many of those weirdos are friends and allies who use those weird things to fight with them and for them. Bakugo had never been envious of someone else's Quirk while he grew up, but it was Todoroki's pure show of power with his Quirk that for the first time cowed Bakugo into awe, wondering how the hell he was supposed to match that. He never forgot that feeling. A wretched reality check for the big fish from a small pond.

How much would it be for people like Yuji and Midoriya who came from no powers to suddenly have them...

Talking about home has always been something Bakugo tried to avoid here, as the nostalgia and homesickness clenches at him hard. Yet, in moments like these, home brings a comfort that's impossible to find elsewhere. As Yuji relaxes, and he feels it against his shoulder, Bakugo also finds a release in the other boy's presence and words. He thinks he should've reached out to Yuji earlier, no matter how many people were already there. A hero often unnecessarily interferes with other people's business simply because a hero wants to help ease someone's burden. But no... Yuji needed the time. This is fine right now.

Bakugo squeezes Yuji's hand lightly, tilting himself a little to lean against the other boy as well. The comment gets a brief scoff from the blonde, but he lets the sorcerer have his added say.]

Wow. You come back with psychic abilities too.

[Grumpy, but completely lacking any anger. There's more weight on Yuji's shoulders, he can tell, but at least the guy's letting Bakugo support him for a while. A small quiet passes between them before Bakugo turns his head and looks at Yuji's profile.]

You did what you did to protect someone. Nothing's weirder than putting your life on the line for another person. [Logically it goes against the very idea/goal of living. How much weirder can you get than that?] So thanks for being weird, Itadori.

[Hero.]

Honestly, I think Panda-senpai might be the most normal out of all of us...

[ He always seemed pretty down to earth in comparison to a lot of their peers, so... Maybe that's what happens when you're a stuffed animal brought to life by a cursed technique? Yuji can empathise a little - he got his cursed abilities from eating a finger to begin with, after all.

The problem with Yuji will always be that he will never be able to seek people out and ask for help - he's not able to share his burdens, not able to express his hurts because he doesn't want to cause more problems. It hurts to think that he has to do it alone, but he doesn't at the same time - developing, growing, trying to be better.

Trying. Failing. He's not sure if he can keep going, but he doesn't have a choice.

Sighing softly, he shakes his head, letting himself have this. Letting himself bask in Bakugo and his quiet, easy friendship. ]

Hah, you think so? I keep doing it, so I must be super weird...

[ He's long since accepted that. Still... ]

You don't need to thank me, dandelion. Silly.

He's a panda. Aren't they usually lazy?

[Roll around and eat bamboo and get a ton of pictures in the zoo? The idea of a fighting panda seems ridiculous. But something tells him this panda isn't like a normal panda... which would make him the weirdest for not even being what he biologically is. A lot about that Bakugo doesn't know, so he's just making generalizations in his head.

Bakugo's never been one to seek other people out either. He hates admitting he needs help because it makes him look vulnerable, refuses to ask for it because it makes him appear weak, and strives to handle his problems on his own because self-reliance is paramount to strength and victory. Sharing his burdens is just as chaffing as sharing his successes. But unlike Yuji's resistance to sharing his burdens stemming from a tender heart, Bakugo's stems from his pride. At least he's improving...

As he talks with Yuji now, he acknowledges the other boy is improving as well. He won't give up no matter how many times he fails, and Bakugo resonates with that drive, as he'd rather burn himself out completely in pursuit of victory than admit defeat.]

Yeah. Super fucking weird. [Which in this conversation, has turned into a a tongue in cheek compliment. Bakugo growls softly when Yuji takes the gratitude literally. Figures.] Shut up and take it.

[Yuji's done a lot for other people. He can thank him for doing that if he damn well wants.]

[ truthfully, gojo hasn't bothered to look too in-depth into how he was able to manifest here. part of him just doesn't want that reality to sink in. but he still knows enough to ascertain that nothing he can divulge to his students here will change anything back in their own world. what's happened has happened. ]

Even if you'd known, nothing would have changed. I didn't want to put that burden on you. [ especially since he couldn't predict that yuji would learn about his future. ] Just like how I wouldn't want to place that burden on Megumi's shoulders.

[ it's a good thing they're on the same page for that at least. he doesn't speak for a lengthy moment, the weight of the atmosphere between them heavy with silence. then, quietly, calmly, he lets the words out. ] I'm sorry that I failed. [ everything was riding on him, but he... really dropped the ball on that one, didn't he? ]

[ Unfortunately, Yuji had asked the doctors that question when he'd had his surgery - why had they been able to bring Nanamin here? They didn't answer, and it made him all the more annoyed, especially when they'd said they were 'proud' of him or whatever. It just sounded a little too gross for him to think too hard about.

Shaking his head, tears still bubbling over, Yuji steps forward and goes to throw his arms around Gojo. He doesn't think about stupid things about it being appropriate, or if Infinity would stop them, or anything like that: all he thinks about is his need to hold his man in his arms and confirm he's real, to press his face against him and bask in the comfort. Gojo-sensei had never stopped him before, so why would he start now, when Yuji's heart is breaking?

It's too much, and none of it is fair. ]

You didn't fail, sensei. It's my fault, if I hadn't made that Vow you'd still be alive. [ Sukuna would never have been able to swap vessels. He would never have taken Megumi and never been strong enough to fight Gojo one on one. Wouldn't have eaten those last fingers. Everything would've been so much better. ] None of this is your problem, okay? You... You really did your best. You were so cool.

[ He's sniffling and crying for real now, because, at heart, Yuji is just a teenager who has lost everyone he's ever loved. ]

[ he would never turn down a hug from any of his kids, especially not now — not in this type of situation.

wrapping his arm around yuji, he lifts a hand to tousle his hair gently. there, there. he sure is bringing the boy to tears more than once since his arrival here, huh? considering all he's been through, crying it out is good for him. it's better than swallowing his emotions and keeping everything bottled up. ]

Just let it out, Yuji. [ cry, scream, whatever he needs to do. ] I was pretty cool though, wasn't I?

[ he had fun, too, but that's prooobably not something he should share with him. ]

You couldn't have predicted what Sukuna was going to do, just like how I couldn't foresee getting trapped in Gokumonkyō. What happened to me wasn't your fault. I'd slipped up, that's all. [ he wasn't strong enough, something he's now determined to rectify. ]

So, [ it sounds like plan b with higuruma didn't pan out. ] what happened afterward?

[ It's been a long time since Yuji Itadori truly felt safe: the last few weeks at home had brought him a lot of change, grown his strength to a level he could never anticipate, but the fear was constant, never ending - the loss of Megumi, the loss of his own control, and then the loss of Gojo and Higuruma on top of it... No wonder he loved being here so much. There was happiness here, even if he couldn't let himself enjoy it too much now.

Gojo's arms are strong and warm, tender with his hand in his hair, and how can Yuji not break? He sniffles with it, crying into the solid warmth of his teacher, one of the few people in the world he can trust without a shadow of a doubt, without hesitation: he knows that Gojo will be there. He knows it, like he knows breathing.

Instinctive, real, pure. Gojo-sensei is here. ]

You were super cool, sensei...

[ Is that what matters? He sniffles again.

His grip is tight, but Gojo-sensei can take it. He's still the strongest, no matter what happens. ]

Mm... Higuruma-san and I tried to use Judgeman, but it didn't work the way we wanted, so... We tried Deadly Sentencing, but before it could happen...

[ Sukuna got him. Yuji whimpers into another sob, shaking his head. ]

Just like Nanamin. It happened again.

[After the battle, and over the course of the rest of the week, Raidou isn't around too much. His physical wounds had been healed, but it's everything else that's the problem. The LILITH medics told him to take it easy since the rift side effects could last several days, and combined with how he felt about how things went during the battle, a few days to mentally recoup is more than needed.

If Yuji checks up on him during the week, he will still be greeted by Raidou at his door with a smile every time, assuring each time that he's alright. He doesn't want these flares of temper or strange impulsive moments to cause any more problems, so it's a fine enough excuse to stay in and catch up on his studies.

Cabin fever does start to set in after awhile, though, and he's feeling well enough, anyway. On the morning of the 4th, Yuji will get a text.]

Are you free this afternoon? If so, can you meet me outside the base when you are? I have something to show you.

[ Yuji is doing his best not to be overbearing, but it’s hard, especially with how much he cares about Raidou and how close the two of them had come to a point of no return, something he cannot undo. Yuji is far too familiar with death, greeting it like a rival or a nemesis, but he wants to avoid it for as long as possible.

He checks in as often as he dares, offering quiet companionship and tenderness as much as he can, trying to be there for his partner as much as possible, but he doesn’t push. He knows how that feels more than anything and he’s aware of his own folly - he can’t exactly blame Raidou for something he does himself.

The message brightens his day all the same though. ]

i’m good now
shall i come out?

Meet me there in ten minutes.

[That will give him enough to get out there before Yuji. When he comes outside, Raidou is there, leaned against his motorcycle, holding a spare helmet in his hands.]

Hey. Nice day for a ride, don't you think?

( open & closed ) all of my enemies started out friends

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backdated to 04/04

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