synflux | ( open & closed ) all of my enemies started out friends

[ The day after Yuji's birthday, he seems to disappear from the base.

He's still around - his name and details are still active, he can be messaged, so he's not gone - but his usual presence disappears. He's not in the cafeteria for regular meals, he's not in the training areas, he can't be found in the kitchen. For all intents and purposes, it seems as though he stopped existing in Synflux completely. Even messages sent to him between the 21st and 22nd don't seem to get answered.

If you knock on his door loudly enough, he might appear, but for most people... He's just 'gone'.

Eventually, he seems to drag himself out of whatever disappearing act he'd put on and start to appear in small doses. Breakfast one day, but no other meals - lunch the next. His usual bubbly attitude has been quashed for now, and while he might greet people he recognises with a smile, his heart clearly isn't in it. Something has happened, and it has left him shaken, wounded - hurting.

In the evening, the quiet hours of the day, he's sat outside staring at the stars, a set, determined look on his face. He barely flinches if anyone comes to sit down beside him. The more perceptive of people - especially those who knew him Before - might see he has a handful more scars. ]

[ The first thing that Yuji feels when he wakes up is agony - pure agony.

Not the physical kind, there are no wounds on his body, no aches or paints that have him shaking or needing to go to the medical centre, but a deep well of emotional hurt that has his eyes immediately welling up with tears. He had gone to bed happy enough, content with the joy that came hand in hand with his birthday the previous day. His throat feels tight, panic thrumming through him, and he wheezes a little as he sits up. He doesn't even notice that he seems to shake the weight of his brother beside him, pushing the palm of his hands into his eyes.

The tears keep coming, but he can't breathe. It feels like someone is pressing down on him, kneeling on his chest, and he can't stop himself from making a pained, whimpering sound.

Slowly, slowly, he sinks down into the bed, the sobs coming as little hiccups, but he doesn't move to try and get closer to Choso. A small part of him thinks that he doesn't deserve that, hasn't earned anything that Choso might give him.

Gojo-sensei... Higuruma-san...

Yuji wails, the sound too loud in the silence of the room. ]

[ After Choso has - at least somewhat - managed to calm Yuji down, he moves like a man on a mission, an intensity that he can't ignore or hide.

He storms out of the Everlight area of the base and over to Revelation, pushing through with his usual, intense speed. It takes him no time at all, and then he's outside Megumi's door, standing there with shaking hands and eyes that feel a little too sore to face his best friend. The last time he had seen Megumi was horrifying, painful, and he doesn't want to think about the burden of the weight of that knowledge.

There's no way he can be the to tell Megumi, and yet...

Resting his hand on the door, he waits for a moment, not sure what to do with himself. He breathes in once, and then out, body shaking as he tries to gather himself back together again. Something inside of him knots, and he blinks back more tears before, finally, he lifts his hand.

The knock is weak, which is weird, comparatively, considering it's Yuji, but he doesn't have the heart for much more than that. ]

[ It doesn't hit Yuji straight away that Gojo-sensei might know about the things that happened, the things that had been in his 'future', once upon a time.

When he's seen Megumi, when he's allowed himself a little distance from Fushiguro, that's when the knowledge seems to click in his mind. Gojo-sensei had appeared the same here as he had when he had left the Prison Realm, stronger, something heavy on his shoulders that Yuji now recognises. That's when it dawns on him that Gojo-sensei must be from a time in what had been so far away from Yuji, months ahead, the fear and horror of Christmas now burning inside of him.

Gojo-sensei knew, and he had said nothing.

The anger he feels is mixed with the pain of his own understanding, recognising the fact that there was a good reason for a lie but being hurt all the same. Isn't he doing the same with Megumi now? Hiding the truth, because it was too painful to reveal, equally painful to keep it locked away, letting yourself suffer to keep someone else safe... He's well experienced with that, and he tries not to let himself think too much about all the secrets he's keeping.

A little while after his talk with Megumi, Yuji is making his way slowly through the base to the Brimstone area, hoping to avoid Toji-san on the way. When he gets to Gojo's door, he hovers there, lifting his hand and waiting for a moment. It's inevitable that his teacher will have noticed the fact that he's outside.

Eventually, he finally lifts his hand and slams it on the door, hard, hard enough that the frame creaks a little. ]

Sensei! Open up!

are you busy? it not, come over? door's open

[ It takes a little while for Yuji to message his friend after he wakes up, slammed with new knowledge that had left him feeling physically sick. He's not prepared to face anyone for a long time, even with the comfort of Choso and his other friends, even with the knowledge that, once again, there's nothing he can do. His entire world had shifted, and the singular mission in his mind - save Megumi, free Fushiguro from that control, to defeat Sukuna.

Nothing else in the world mattered, not during that fight. He remembers that feeling, above anything else.

Waking up back in the City had slammed him with all the developing feelings and thoughts that had been developing here, the reminders of the people he had come to care about, so of course Raidou was near the top of that list. He hadn't been able to face him, not for a little while, trying to muster his confidence and strength to make himself feel as though he was capable of it.

Not because he thinks Raidou will judge him, but because he's judging himself for his failures, for his new features, for the choices he made, the claws on his hands a sickening reminder.

If Raidou knocks, Yuji doesn't get up to answer the door: he said it was open, after all. He's curled up in bed, pillow in his arms, looking haggard and, more importantly, utterly exhausted. ]

[ Yuji takes a little longer than he probably should to seek out Nobara, especially compared to how fast he had been to chase her down the first time he'd woken up to realise she was alive and living. He feels a little uncomfortable, a little on edge - what might she say? What will she do, when she sees his new arms, his new scars, the strangeness of it all?

He can already imagine all the questions she's going to ask, and it's a little painful to know he's not sure if he can admit it all. He's not sure if he can confess to her the things he's hiding from Megumi, the burden of knowledge too heavy to bear.

Eventually, he pushes himself out of his own room and makes his way down the hall to hers, hovering at the door for a moment.

It's embarrassing, isn't it? To think that he's so afraid to tell one of his best friends something brutally honest: how much he loathes himself, how much he blames himself for all of the things that happens, how much he longs to be punished for it.

Finally, he lifts his hand and knocks, sombre and quiet. ]

Kugisaki?

[After the battle, and over the course of the rest of the week, Raidou isn't around too much. His physical wounds had been healed, but it's everything else that's the problem. The LILITH medics told him to take it easy since the rift side effects could last several days, and combined with how he felt about how things went during the battle, a few days to mentally recoup is more than needed.

If Yuji checks up on him during the week, he will still be greeted by Raidou at his door with a smile every time, assuring each time that he's alright. He doesn't want these flares of temper or strange impulsive moments to cause any more problems, so it's a fine enough excuse to stay in and catch up on his studies.

Cabin fever does start to set in after awhile, though, and he's feeling well enough, anyway. On the morning of the 4th, Yuji will get a text.]

Are you free this afternoon? If so, can you meet me outside the base when you are? I have something to show you.

OPEN TO ANYONE.

@CHOSO.

@MEGUMI

@GOJO

@RAIDOU

@KUGISAKI

backdated to 04/04