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[ The day after Yuji's birthday, he seems to disappear from the base.
He's still around - his name and details are still active, he can be messaged, so he's not gone - but his usual presence disappears. He's not in the cafeteria for regular meals, he's not in the training areas, he can't be found in the kitchen. For all intents and purposes, it seems as though he stopped existing in Synflux completely. Even messages sent to him between the 21st and 22nd don't seem to get answered.
If you knock on his door loudly enough, he might appear, but for most people... He's just 'gone'.
Eventually, he seems to drag himself out of whatever disappearing act he'd put on and start to appear in small doses. Breakfast one day, but no other meals - lunch the next. His usual bubbly attitude has been quashed for now, and while he might greet people he recognises with a smile, his heart clearly isn't in it. Something has happened, and it has left him shaken, wounded - hurting.
In the evening, the quiet hours of the day, he's sat outside staring at the stars, a set, determined look on his face. He barely flinches if anyone comes to sit down beside him. The more perceptive of people - especially those who knew him Before - might see he has a handful more scars. ]
[ The first thing that Yuji feels when he wakes up is agony - pure agony.
Not the physical kind, there are no wounds on his body, no aches or paints that have him shaking or needing to go to the medical centre, but a deep well of emotional hurt that has his eyes immediately welling up with tears. He had gone to bed happy enough, content with the joy that came hand in hand with his birthday the previous day. His throat feels tight, panic thrumming through him, and he wheezes a little as he sits up. He doesn't even notice that he seems to shake the weight of his brother beside him, pushing the palm of his hands into his eyes.
The tears keep coming, but he can't breathe. It feels like someone is pressing down on him, kneeling on his chest, and he can't stop himself from making a pained, whimpering sound.
Slowly, slowly, he sinks down into the bed, the sobs coming as little hiccups, but he doesn't move to try and get closer to Choso. A small part of him thinks that he doesn't deserve that, hasn't earned anything that Choso might give him.
Gojo-sensei... Higuruma-san...
Yuji wails, the sound too loud in the silence of the room. ]
[ After Choso has - at least somewhat - managed to calm Yuji down, he moves like a man on a mission, an intensity that he can't ignore or hide.
He storms out of the Everlight area of the base and over to Revelation, pushing through with his usual, intense speed. It takes him no time at all, and then he's outside Megumi's door, standing there with shaking hands and eyes that feel a little too sore to face his best friend. The last time he had seen Megumi was horrifying, painful, and he doesn't want to think about the burden of the weight of that knowledge.
There's no way he can be the to tell Megumi, and yet...
Resting his hand on the door, he waits for a moment, not sure what to do with himself. He breathes in once, and then out, body shaking as he tries to gather himself back together again. Something inside of him knots, and he blinks back more tears before, finally, he lifts his hand.
The knock is weak, which is weird, comparatively, considering it's Yuji, but he doesn't have the heart for much more than that. ]
[ It doesn't hit Yuji straight away that Gojo-sensei might know about the things that happened, the things that had been in his 'future', once upon a time.
When he's seen Megumi, when he's allowed himself a little distance from Fushiguro, that's when the knowledge seems to click in his mind. Gojo-sensei had appeared the same here as he had when he had left the Prison Realm, stronger, something heavy on his shoulders that Yuji now recognises. That's when it dawns on him that Gojo-sensei must be from a time in what had been so far away from Yuji, months ahead, the fear and horror of Christmas now burning inside of him.
Gojo-sensei knew, and he had said nothing.
The anger he feels is mixed with the pain of his own understanding, recognising the fact that there was a good reason for a lie but being hurt all the same. Isn't he doing the same with Megumi now? Hiding the truth, because it was too painful to reveal, equally painful to keep it locked away, letting yourself suffer to keep someone else safe... He's well experienced with that, and he tries not to let himself think too much about all the secrets he's keeping.
A little while after his talk with Megumi, Yuji is making his way slowly through the base to the Brimstone area, hoping to avoid Toji-san on the way. When he gets to Gojo's door, he hovers there, lifting his hand and waiting for a moment. It's inevitable that his teacher will have noticed the fact that he's outside.
Eventually, he finally lifts his hand and slams it on the door, hard, hard enough that the frame creaks a little. ]
Sensei! Open up!
are you busy? it not, come over? door's open
[ It takes a little while for Yuji to message his friend after he wakes up, slammed with new knowledge that had left him feeling physically sick. He's not prepared to face anyone for a long time, even with the comfort of Choso and his other friends, even with the knowledge that, once again, there's nothing he can do. His entire world had shifted, and the singular mission in his mind - save Megumi, free Fushiguro from that control, to defeat Sukuna.
Nothing else in the world mattered, not during that fight. He remembers that feeling, above anything else.
Waking up back in the City had slammed him with all the developing feelings and thoughts that had been developing here, the reminders of the people he had come to care about, so of course Raidou was near the top of that list. He hadn't been able to face him, not for a little while, trying to muster his confidence and strength to make himself feel as though he was capable of it.
Not because he thinks Raidou will judge him, but because he's judging himself for his failures, for his new features, for the choices he made, the claws on his hands a sickening reminder.
If Raidou knocks, Yuji doesn't get up to answer the door: he said it was open, after all. He's curled up in bed, pillow in his arms, looking haggard and, more importantly, utterly exhausted. ]
[Nothing had been out of the ordinary the day before yesterday. Not seeing Yuji around for a day had been a little odd, but they were both busy people, like everyone in the base. Not only that, he'd been recovering from a case of hanami hay fever, meaning he spent a little more time in his room than usual, resting.
It's not long before there is a soft knock on the door, then it opening just enough for Raidou to take a look in. He's about to greet Yuji when his words stop, seeing him on the bed in such a state, and he takes a step into the room. Did he fall ill as well?]
-- Yuji, are you alright?
It's not long before there is a soft knock on the door, then it opening just enough for Raidou to take a look in. He's about to greet Yuji when his words stop, seeing him on the bed in such a state, and he takes a step into the room. Did he fall ill as well?]
-- Yuji, are you alright?
[ There's a brief surge of panic inside of him when Raidou steps inside, like he's going to be judged, somehow - but they've spoken about things like this before, the sense of duty, the need to do what has to happen, and how they can be themselves here. It doesn't make it easier for him, but it does make him feel a little bit like he might be able to survive this.
Lifting his body up a bit, he rubs at his face before he shakes his head. Admitting that he isn't okay is a big enough step for Yuji, even if he can't go into the details of all the different things he's feeling. Instead, he shuffles over to make space for his friend, hoping that he'll come and sit down - or, better, wrap his arms around him. ]
I went home.
Lifting his body up a bit, he rubs at his face before he shakes his head. Admitting that he isn't okay is a big enough step for Yuji, even if he can't go into the details of all the different things he's feeling. Instead, he shuffles over to make space for his friend, hoping that he'll come and sit down - or, better, wrap his arms around him. ]
I went home.
[Three simple words that throw Raidou immediately off. How would such a thing be possible? Why would LILITH do that to someone just to bring them back again? Was there no control over it?
He can ask all that later, but there's a moment where Raidou processes all this before quietly approaching and sitting down next to him. A hand goes to Yuji's forearm supportively- which is when Raidou notices his hands.
He doesn't know where to start.]
What... happened?
He can ask all that later, but there's a moment where Raidou processes all this before quietly approaching and sitting down next to him. A hand goes to Yuji's forearm supportively- which is when Raidou notices his hands.
He doesn't know where to start.]
What... happened?
[ He can't help the way that his arm flinches away from Raidou's touch - not because he doesn't want it, not because he isn't yearning for the comfort of the other boy, but because he's embarrassed of the way he looks. The strange skin, the claws... It would be fair if Raidou didn't want to be near him with all the things he's done and the changes that have happened.
Leaning in, he touches his forehead to Raidou's arm, squeezing his eyes shut again. His heart hurts. Everything hurts. ]
... It's been a few months, and a lot changed. I got stronger, but... I lost a lot as well. I can't...
[ Yuji shakes his head, squeezing his eyes shut, breathing out sharply. ]
I'm sorry, Johei.
Leaning in, he touches his forehead to Raidou's arm, squeezing his eyes shut again. His heart hurts. Everything hurts. ]
... It's been a few months, and a lot changed. I got stronger, but... I lost a lot as well. I can't...
[ Yuji shakes his head, squeezing his eyes shut, breathing out sharply. ]
I'm sorry, Johei.
[Raidou is overwhelmed by all this on Yuji's behalf, but on the outside, it's hard to tell. While the flinch does cause him to pull his hand away just a bit, reflexively, he doesn't shy away when Yuji leans into him. Instead, he places a hand on Yuji's upper back, drawing his head to his chest, bring his other arm around to hold him close.
He is much out of his depths in a situation like this, never sure how to react to emotional displays like this. But he knows he can do this much for someone like Yuji.]
You've nothing to be sorry about with me.
He is much out of his depths in a situation like this, never sure how to react to emotional displays like this. But he knows he can do this much for someone like Yuji.]
You've nothing to be sorry about with me.
[ It's not something that he wants to talk about, but he should, shouldn't he? He should've been able to express it, all the things that had happened, but it chokes up inside his throat and makes him blink back his tears. He trusts Raidou, there's no doubt about that, but it feels a little too painful right now. Too fresh a wound, still bleeding.
Instead of worrying about that, he shifts his body and curls himself into the boy beside him, letting himself drink in his comfort, his warmth. Swallowing, he sniffles, nuzzling into him. ]
Can you just stay here with me for a little while?
Instead of worrying about that, he shifts his body and curls himself into the boy beside him, letting himself drink in his comfort, his warmth. Swallowing, he sniffles, nuzzling into him. ]
Can you just stay here with me for a little while?
[To think that even a few months ago that Raidou Kuzunoha could be a comfort in such a way would be outlandish to anyone who knew him, even himself. Now, though, he's glad he can be here like this; if there's nothing else he can do to help, then this is what he'll do. What's done is done, though later he may have some words for LILITH.
When Yuji curls into him, Raidou lays his head gently on his,]
For as long as you want.
When Yuji curls into him, Raidou lays his head gently on his,]
For as long as you want.
[ Yuji nods, letting himself sink into the warm, familiar body, feeling a sudden sense of safety. He can take care of himself - especially now, with his powers and his claws - but there's a comfort that comes from knowing Raidou is here. He's safer with this guy at his side, and he feels himself relaxing.
It takes a long while for Yuji to talk again, his voice sounding hoarse and a little broken, and he has to swallow, pausing to breathe in and out. How long has it been... He's not sure. Is Raidou okay? Is his arm numb?
He feels foolish, but at the same time... Maybe he's earned this. Maybe he deserves the chance to let himself be sad, for the first time in a long time. So much had happened in a few short months, and he's barely had a chance to recover from it. ]
Hey, Johei... [ He leans up, touching his forehead to the other boy's jaw. ] I got stronger, but I don't know if it was worth it.
It takes a long while for Yuji to talk again, his voice sounding hoarse and a little broken, and he has to swallow, pausing to breathe in and out. How long has it been... He's not sure. Is Raidou okay? Is his arm numb?
He feels foolish, but at the same time... Maybe he's earned this. Maybe he deserves the chance to let himself be sad, for the first time in a long time. So much had happened in a few short months, and he's barely had a chance to recover from it. ]
Hey, Johei... [ He leans up, touching his forehead to the other boy's jaw. ] I got stronger, but I don't know if it was worth it.
[ choso feels the change before he even wakes; his blood reacts to it before anything else, a hiccup in the pulse, a falling stillness followed by a surge of adrenaline. awareness spreads from his heart outwards, ripples of some fell stone cast into the slow-churning lake of his consciousness growing exponentially so when yuji begins to stir, choso is already halfway to the surface.
he wakes in stages, fingers twitching to breach the placid surface, lashes fluttering to blink away the binds of softly poisonous dreams. choso, he wakes on a murmur, a sleep-soft: ]
Yuji…?
[ -that quickly dissipates as he takes in the rictus of agony that yuji has become. yuji’s weeping has him levering himself up from the fetal curl he had fallen asleep in, hair coming loose from its looser ties to hang in his eyes as he stares into the dim dark.
something cold seizes him from within. ]
Yuji!?
[ sleep is as nothing in the face of the panic that grips choso by the throat. he lurches over, hands darting out, hesitating only for a whisper of a heartbeat this time before he lays hand on yuji, warm palms on his shoulder, on his arm, gripping firm and steady.
be calm, choso. be still, choso. you must be the big brother he needs now.
his voice only shakes a little this time. ]
What happened? Are you hurt?
he wakes in stages, fingers twitching to breach the placid surface, lashes fluttering to blink away the binds of softly poisonous dreams. choso, he wakes on a murmur, a sleep-soft: ]
Yuji…?
[ -that quickly dissipates as he takes in the rictus of agony that yuji has become. yuji’s weeping has him levering himself up from the fetal curl he had fallen asleep in, hair coming loose from its looser ties to hang in his eyes as he stares into the dim dark.
something cold seizes him from within. ]
Yuji!?
[ sleep is as nothing in the face of the panic that grips choso by the throat. he lurches over, hands darting out, hesitating only for a whisper of a heartbeat this time before he lays hand on yuji, warm palms on his shoulder, on his arm, gripping firm and steady.
be calm, choso. be still, choso. you must be the big brother he needs now.
his voice only shakes a little this time. ]
What happened? Are you hurt?
[ It’s still so hard to breathe, even with the knowledge that Choso is here, with the burst of their relationship solidifying in his mind, weeks together that unfolded in a single night. He was gone for months, but for no time at all. He had something to focus on, a fight to win, and now all that he has is an empty space. The quiet happiness he’d found here is tainted with the new memories, and he doesn’t know how to cope.
Choso’s hands on his shoulders are grounding, but it doesn’t help Yuji calm down immediately. His own hands - claws now, fingers flexing with the strange new shape of them - reach up to grip at his brother’s shirt, twisting the limbs into it in the same way his grief twists his stomach. Megumi… Gojo-sensei… Higuruma-san, Tsumiki-oneechan…
How did he let this happen? How did he fail so impossibly? The Binding Vow, how could he have forgotten?
Shaking his head, all Yuji can do is cry. It reminds him of the moment where Kugisaki and Nanamin had been taken from him, curled up on the ground in Shibuya and sobbing, wishing for death to come to him. Hating himself for his cowardice, his weakness, his inability to save anyone he cared about. It continues, a story with no happy ending other than Yuji Itadori’s death, a fair price to pay to save Megumi.
Slowly, his arms wrap around Choso, desperate, begging, wanting comfort but not feeling deserving. Feeling as though a knife has been shoved into his gut and he’s bleeding his life away through his tears. He wonders if Choso can feel it, if he really is losing blood, or if Choso can sense the change in him.
Yuji tries to speak through his tears but it just seems to make it worse, little desperate gasps coming between each sobs as his lungs cry out for air. ]
I… I went home… It’s awful, Choso - it’s awful - I ruined it all - it’s all my fault!
Choso’s hands on his shoulders are grounding, but it doesn’t help Yuji calm down immediately. His own hands - claws now, fingers flexing with the strange new shape of them - reach up to grip at his brother’s shirt, twisting the limbs into it in the same way his grief twists his stomach. Megumi… Gojo-sensei… Higuruma-san, Tsumiki-oneechan…
How did he let this happen? How did he fail so impossibly? The Binding Vow, how could he have forgotten?
Shaking his head, all Yuji can do is cry. It reminds him of the moment where Kugisaki and Nanamin had been taken from him, curled up on the ground in Shibuya and sobbing, wishing for death to come to him. Hating himself for his cowardice, his weakness, his inability to save anyone he cared about. It continues, a story with no happy ending other than Yuji Itadori’s death, a fair price to pay to save Megumi.
Slowly, his arms wrap around Choso, desperate, begging, wanting comfort but not feeling deserving. Feeling as though a knife has been shoved into his gut and he’s bleeding his life away through his tears. He wonders if Choso can feel it, if he really is losing blood, or if Choso can sense the change in him.
Yuji tries to speak through his tears but it just seems to make it worse, little desperate gasps coming between each sobs as his lungs cry out for air. ]
I… I went home… It’s awful, Choso - it’s awful - I ruined it all - it’s all my fault!
NO!!!
[ he doesn’t mean it to come out a boom, a roar of a thing, but it bursts out of him anyway, so great is his intensity, his need to drive that simple truth home in a way yuji will hear, will feel. never mind the neighbors, the city, the world.
panic forgotten, choso pulls yuji to his chest, crushes him in close to curl over him, a protective shell against, against what? against the world, against LILITH, against sukuna’s distant gaze? what does choso know? nothing. he knows nothing of what pains yuji, only that his little brother hurts, weeps, laments. knows nothing of the things that await them beyond LILITH’s summons only that his brother bleeds in a way choso cannot hope to heal.
the only thing choso is certain of in this life and the next is yuji’s innocence. ]
You haven’t! What has happened? What did you see?
[ his is one voice against whatever crowd screams in yuji’s skull, but choso pushes each syllable out like he could bull through the throng, his shout against cries innumerable. (against yuji himself) ]
[ he doesn’t mean it to come out a boom, a roar of a thing, but it bursts out of him anyway, so great is his intensity, his need to drive that simple truth home in a way yuji will hear, will feel. never mind the neighbors, the city, the world.
panic forgotten, choso pulls yuji to his chest, crushes him in close to curl over him, a protective shell against, against what? against the world, against LILITH, against sukuna’s distant gaze? what does choso know? nothing. he knows nothing of what pains yuji, only that his little brother hurts, weeps, laments. knows nothing of the things that await them beyond LILITH’s summons only that his brother bleeds in a way choso cannot hope to heal.
the only thing choso is certain of in this life and the next is yuji’s innocence. ]
You haven’t! What has happened? What did you see?
[ his is one voice against whatever crowd screams in yuji’s skull, but choso pushes each syllable out like he could bull through the throng, his shout against cries innumerable. (against yuji himself) ]
Edited 2024-03-21 02:31 (UTC)
[Raidou doesn't know how to respond, quiet for a long moment. What he could infer from what little Yuji had told him so far, about Sukuna and Shibuya, was terrible enough. What else could he have gone through in whatever time he was gone for?
There might not be anything he could do, even if he knew. But like this, he couldn't even pretend to, even if he was the sort of person to do that. He's not.]
Yuji... When you're ready, will you tell me everything that happened?
[His eyes drift to those new clawed hands, not even being able to imagine what might have gone on. His natural instinct is enacting revenge against whatever or whoever could have reduced his enthusiastic, vivacious friend to this state, but it's an irrational reaction, and he knows it. Much like with the other problems that he's faced in since arriving in this time, Raidou knows that he has to be of help some other way.]
Even if it's not all at once. But I promise I'll listen, no matter what you have to say.
There might not be anything he could do, even if he knew. But like this, he couldn't even pretend to, even if he was the sort of person to do that. He's not.]
Yuji... When you're ready, will you tell me everything that happened?
[His eyes drift to those new clawed hands, not even being able to imagine what might have gone on. His natural instinct is enacting revenge against whatever or whoever could have reduced his enthusiastic, vivacious friend to this state, but it's an irrational reaction, and he knows it. Much like with the other problems that he's faced in since arriving in this time, Raidou knows that he has to be of help some other way.]
Even if it's not all at once. But I promise I'll listen, no matter what you have to say.
[ The cursed energy that's suddenly just outside his door is so strange. It feels familiar but also not, and he can't seem to make out what it is. What he does know is that it doesn't feel like a threat. Before the knock comes, Megumi is already making his way to the door, ready to investigate just what is going on. The knock finally does come, and it sounds hesitant and weak for reasons he cannot explain.
Megumi opens the door and he's surprised to find his best friend on the other end. It hadn't felt like them at all. Yuji's cursed energy is so different.
Also, the scars are nowhere to be seen. ] Yuji ...?
Megumi opens the door and he's surprised to find his best friend on the other end. It hadn't felt like them at all. Yuji's cursed energy is so different.
Also, the scars are nowhere to be seen. ] Yuji ...?
[ There's something—different about Yuji these days. Not that Wriothesley would consider himself any sort of expert on the boy, but they've worked alongside each other long enough that he thinkshe's gotten a good enough sense of the boy, a young man full of heart and energy. The boy that walks through the hallways now is....well, not that.
But they're not close enough that he can just up and ask what happened, and so he keeps his distance for a few days until he spots Yuji hunkered down outside and finally decides to head over. ]
Long day?
[ It's not so much a real question as it is a cautious hello, a veiled inquiry as to whether his presence here is allowed or not. ]
But they're not close enough that he can just up and ask what happened, and so he keeps his distance for a few days until he spots Yuji hunkered down outside and finally decides to head over. ]
Long day?
[ It's not so much a real question as it is a cautious hello, a veiled inquiry as to whether his presence here is allowed or not. ]
I... I want to. But...
[ He doesn't want Raidou to change his mind about him, to judge him. To feel as if Yuji is something that can't be forgiven, or shouldn't be cherished any longer. That's how he feels about himself, after all; utterly prepared to die to save Megumi, recognising his role in society was to fight curses - fight Sukuna - until there's nothing left of him. He had told Higuruma that he had imagined that it was his role to die in this fight, and he was ready for that.
Everything he has done over the last few weeks was for the sole purpose of freeing Megumi from Sukuna's clutches, and he had been failing every time he had tried.
Sniffling again, feeling overwhelmed by his own grief, and the tears are coming back again. He doesn't want to drown in them, but there's something about being with Raidou, something undeniable... He feels safe. Yuji feels so safe and taken care of here that it's hard to keep those barriers up, no matter how changed he feels.
He's disfigured too. He would understand if Raidou chose to leave him be, if he didn't want to see him, or date him, or kiss him now.
Leaning close, he breathes out. ]
I lost some people close to me. They died, and I couldn't save them, and it was because of my mistakes that they had to risk their lives.
[ He doesn't want Raidou to change his mind about him, to judge him. To feel as if Yuji is something that can't be forgiven, or shouldn't be cherished any longer. That's how he feels about himself, after all; utterly prepared to die to save Megumi, recognising his role in society was to fight curses - fight Sukuna - until there's nothing left of him. He had told Higuruma that he had imagined that it was his role to die in this fight, and he was ready for that.
Everything he has done over the last few weeks was for the sole purpose of freeing Megumi from Sukuna's clutches, and he had been failing every time he had tried.
Sniffling again, feeling overwhelmed by his own grief, and the tears are coming back again. He doesn't want to drown in them, but there's something about being with Raidou, something undeniable... He feels safe. Yuji feels so safe and taken care of here that it's hard to keep those barriers up, no matter how changed he feels.
He's disfigured too. He would understand if Raidou chose to leave him be, if he didn't want to see him, or date him, or kiss him now.
Leaning close, he breathes out. ]
I lost some people close to me. They died, and I couldn't save them, and it was because of my mistakes that they had to risk their lives.
[ The relief he feels when Megumi opens the door is like someone had punched him in the gut; some of the tension sags away and he breathes out. He's deliberately wearing a hoodie with long sleeves to try and hide some of the more obvious changes on his body, but there's no disguising his changed cursed energy and the way he's desperate to find Megumi and make sure he's safe.
No scars. No marks. No Sukuna.
The tension bleeds out further, and he shakes his head. ]
Are you okay?
No scars. No marks. No Sukuna.
The tension bleeds out further, and he shakes his head. ]
Are you okay?
[ The loud echo of Choso's voice startles him, to the point where he almost stops crying, lifting his head to stare at his brother with wide eyes filled with tears. It hurts a little, a frog in his throat, a rock in his stomach, and his hands are shaking as they hold on to the man above him. When people had asked him before what Choso meant to him, how they had been brothers when one is a curse and the other is a man, he hadn't been sure how to answer.
He understands now; he's a cursed object, more curse than human. They're more alike than he thought.
Letting himself be crushed into Choso, letting himself lean into the strength of his form, long limbed, powerful, but comforting and soft in the tenderness of a broken moment, he shivers, the tears still burning at his eyes. It feels volcanic, it feels agonising, as if he's been peeled back layer by layer.
Breathing out, he presses his face into Choso, mumbling, voice lost in the sheer darkness of hurt. ]
Gojo-sensei... Higuruma-san... They're gone, and Megumi... I'm not a vessel, the Vow, it... He changed.
[ Sukuna. Left him for Megumi, killed so many people, took so many lives, and it's all his fault. ]
He understands now; he's a cursed object, more curse than human. They're more alike than he thought.
Letting himself be crushed into Choso, letting himself lean into the strength of his form, long limbed, powerful, but comforting and soft in the tenderness of a broken moment, he shivers, the tears still burning at his eyes. It feels volcanic, it feels agonising, as if he's been peeled back layer by layer.
Breathing out, he presses his face into Choso, mumbling, voice lost in the sheer darkness of hurt. ]
Gojo-sensei... Higuruma-san... They're gone, and Megumi... I'm not a vessel, the Vow, it... He changed.
[ Sukuna. Left him for Megumi, killed so many people, took so many lives, and it's all his fault. ]
[ Yuji doesn't jump when Wriothesley comes and sits beside him; he felt him coming, more in tune with his understanding of people and the prickle of his senses than he might have been before. Turning his head, he deliberately shifts to tuck his hands away, the longer sleeves of his hoodie hiding them from view - an intentional movement, a disguise.
It's painfully obvious how tired he is, exhausted and feeling weak from his new experiences, and he has to force himself to nod his head before he turns back to look at the stars. It's going to take some time for him to back to his bubbly self, isn't it? ]
I was sent back home for a while.
[ And it was only overnight here. ]
It's painfully obvious how tired he is, exhausted and feeling weak from his new experiences, and he has to force himself to nod his head before he turns back to look at the stars. It's going to take some time for him to back to his bubbly self, isn't it? ]
I was sent back home for a while.
[ And it was only overnight here. ]
[ Yuji takes a little longer than he probably should to seek out Nobara, especially compared to how fast he had been to chase her down the first time he'd woken up to realise she was alive and living. He feels a little uncomfortable, a little on edge - what might she say? What will she do, when she sees his new arms, his new scars, the strangeness of it all?
He can already imagine all the questions she's going to ask, and it's a little painful to know he's not sure if he can admit it all. He's not sure if he can confess to her the things he's hiding from Megumi, the burden of knowledge too heavy to bear.
Eventually, he pushes himself out of his own room and makes his way down the hall to hers, hovering at the door for a moment.
It's embarrassing, isn't it? To think that he's so afraid to tell one of his best friends something brutally honest: how much he loathes himself, how much he blames himself for all of the things that happens, how much he longs to be punished for it.
Finally, he lifts his hand and knocks, sombre and quiet. ]
Kugisaki?
[A relatable feeling. How many people were in mortal danger at home thanks to his own failure? At a time like this, platitudes like telling someone they tried their best, or had done everything they could, rings hollow and means nothing. Of course Yuji did his best. Raidou is sure of that he would give nothing less than his all.
He takes one of those strange clawed hands in his, and looks at them; if Yuji thinks something like this is going to scare off a boy who's spent more time with demons than humans, he has another thing coming. Yuji said he'd gotten stronger, and this new form must have something to do with that.]
You must have given up so much. You all have. I'm sorry, Yuji.
[Their lives, his being. Sympathy and empathy are all Raidou can offer.]
He takes one of those strange clawed hands in his, and looks at them; if Yuji thinks something like this is going to scare off a boy who's spent more time with demons than humans, he has another thing coming. Yuji said he'd gotten stronger, and this new form must have something to do with that.]
You must have given up so much. You all have. I'm sorry, Yuji.
[Their lives, his being. Sympathy and empathy are all Raidou can offer.]
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