WHO: Malkuth & Others
WHAT: Various threads for April (hmu for starters if needed!!!)
WHERE: Pretty much anywhere
WHEN: Anytime during April
WARNINGS: probable violence, drinking, cannibalism, sex, spoilers for Lobotomy Corporation & Library of Ruina will be marked as needed
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[ mostly dead. she'd thought the hybrid was thoroughly done, but there's still the lightest bit of breath; all the better, the fairies sigh in mind. fresh meat is the best.
malkuth crouches down and picks up a hand, somewhat reptilian and somewhat not. she feels her mouth salivating in anticipation and swallows it down, irritated. at him, at the abnormality's voice in her mind, at herself. such soft flesh amidst the scales...
she forces herself to speak. trying to sound less annoyed, however successful it isn't. ]
There's nothing to hide. It's just payment for using F-04-83. Um, Fairy Festival. I don't have to do this in the Library -- there's a natural barrier between us and the Abnormalities, just like a L Corp. -- but... here, it's a little more taxing.
[ admittedly more than a little, in some cases. but that's why she'd gone with the ZAYIN abnormality and not something far more heavy hitting: her mind can stand this for hours more, chewed at rather than torn into. ]
some lobotomy corporation spoilers
F-04-83, Fairy Festival. The Abnormality Records immediately come to mind, the product of his department's work to analyze and profile the Abnormalities — and to manipulate and release information selectively, as ordered. He'd remained silent then, just as he did after Enoch and Carmen and Elijah, and paltry gestures were no better than stricter rules and regulations after the fact. ]
If you acknowledge that there is nothing to hide, are you asking me to look away for my sake or yours?
[ I don't need you judging me right now, Malkuth said, but she has already revealed what will follow.
Once, a long time ago, he'd expressed his condolences, and in the same breath, he had called Ayin careless, pinned the blame for irreversible incidents on things that didn't address the root cause, the truth of the disease incubating beneath the surface to spread among their team. What did monitoring supply room keys and the like more closely ever achieve, in the end?
The existing weight of every sin on their conscience is heavy enough. ]
its cannibalism and dismemberment from here on out folks
...
it's always for his sake. everything she does is for his, for netzach's. why can't he just turn away? it's not like she's asking for much. does he even know much she's starving? clawing out her own insides for over a month, now, trying to expel every bit of rot that claims she's in the wrong; does he understand how much it hurts? hunger pangs are far beyond him, heart pangs perhaps closer in that metal form of his, but...
... but still, the words remain behind her tightly pressed smile and she swallows again, the words and saliva going with it. isn't it enough to know they're fine from afar? it is, it is. she's not starving at all. she's filled that space with so many other people now, so why does she still feel so empty more times than not? ]
... Fine. That's your choice then, Yesod. Take a seat and let me eat -- they're really, really grating.
[ she's not apologetic for the irritation that seeps in her tone because of it either, or the rift's worsening of her mood. instead, malkuth's simply going to be testing what place would be easiest to slice from with her nails and taking her serrated scythe to it.
methodical, like malkuth's notes. but impatient, like malkuth herself.
they're not nice cuts, and the hybrid's jerk in half-consciousness mingles their blood as she catches hand in the mix. but she still presses down harder on the arm, unfeeling of the pain that mimics the wretch in her chest, avoiding yesod's gaze entirely as she works to make a pile easier for her to eat that the fairies wouldn't need at all with their carnivorous smiles. ]
human experimentation references... truly a projmoon thread
Yesod watches Malkuth's expression, her altered features. She gave in unwillingly, without answering his question. He watches Malkuth's hands.
When Elijah died, her remains were treated as nothing more than a specimen to dissect, a source of findings to demonstrate the need for further testing and adjustments. And then, much later, what was preserved of her was reused.
Ayin handled all of them clinically, Yesod thinks. But then, the disgust and the anger haven't wholly dissipated; perhaps that thought fails to consider that even Ayin may have found his chosen path unbearable, yet there was no alternative and no turning back. ]
we really could not get more
that's why she's sitting here, quiet except for the disgusting smack of eating, frustration and irritation at herself, at yesod, at herself again more than anything or anyone else pricks at the corners of her eyes. they don't fall, but they sting regardless. they don't fall, but her heart drops into the bottom of her empty stomach with each bit of human that goes in too.
malkuth feels the fairies pull. these aren't thick with blood like anything inside would be. why not go for those first? we're hungry, we're hungry, we took care of you, so take care of us.
she's used them for hours. she shouldn't beat herself up. but even so, maybe if she was stronger, they wouldn't be so persistent so loud, so eager to make a fool of her in front of the person she doesn't want to worry any -- that she wants to worry over instead, to show she's fine and reliable and she can handle it, even if. handling it is just this.
malkuth feels her throat tighten and she sniffles despite herself, shaking her head as she slices the hybrid's belly open finally. as easily as one might butter, picking at the natural layer of fat and membrane that holds things together as she speaks quietly. ]
... It doesn't taste as good as I thought it would, after hearing some of our guests marvel at their own culinary creations.
[ but it was also a mistake to talk, she finds, because in that quietness is a wavering tone that betrays her more dismayal mood. ]
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During their time in Lobotomy Corporation, Malkuth never sounded like this. (Did Elijah, in her final moments...? Even prior to that day?)
Would it be worse to acknowledge it or to leave it alone? ]
...Malkuth.
[ The true issue is complex, unrelated to the flavor of this type of meat — raw or cooked, unseasoned or seasoned, it would change nothing.
Yesod has no handkerchief or packet of tissues to offer Malkuth, and he knows that his presence provides no more comfort to anyone now than it did when he feigned indifference. But he remembers the taste of despair, rotting from within, the lonely darkness closing over one's head. There are sins not to forget, things not to tolerate any longer. He thinks again that Malkuth shouldn't be left to choke down all of the pain by herself.
Reaching out — an attempt to steer Malkuth's attention away from the fairies' demands and her thoughts, to direct it to her humanity in spite of everything — Yesod's fingertips brush against Malkuth's cheek, thumb wiping away a smear of blood there. ]
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it threatens her heart, squeezes the tears from the corners of her eyes until they drip down and she wants so, so so sosososososo so badly to lean into it, strange as the motion is,
but she finds herself flinching away. flinched away, even, dragging the meal from him with warm cheeks and trembling hands. ]
Don't... Stop that. [ it sounds a contradiction, the words lost between. or does she mean it?
she's so hungry. or thirsty. she feels parched. ] I...
[ she's fine. she is. she has to be. this is proof he doesn't think she is, that she can't handle herself once more. so why can't she say so? why, instead, does her cheek burn where he'd stained himself with blood? ]
no subject
And then Malkuth recoils, as if to jerk away from a blow or a scorching flame or the bite of an unpleasantly cold surface. Yesod's hand remains outstretched a moment longer, giving it the appearance of reaching for Malkuth, beckoning to her. The sight is, without a doubt, as strange as the touch that came before it — Yesod is acutely aware of it himself.
Finally, he lowers his hand. His body lacks a heart, but something clenches where it might reside, his mind all too capable of emotion, and he recognizes this powerlessness. ]
...That was my choice as well.
[ But it has accomplished nothing positive. ]
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... You're lucky you're a hunk of metal, [ after a moment, shaky and a little sulky, ] or I would've taken your finger off.
[ even if she wouldn't have really. dedicated to keeping her friends safe, swearing to march she'd never hurt her and wanting to promise the same to yesod now. but the contact had eased her hunger somewhat, irritatingly, annoyingly, and she presses her hands into hot blood to try and capture the warmth before. she can't ask it of him.
she can't, she won't, so she doesn't. she answers his question from before instead, once the soft tissue has slide down her throat and she's resisted the natural human urge to gag on it. ]
... My sake. I don't want one of your memories to be... this, about me.