synflux | ( OPEN ) MAY CATCH ALL

[ It's been a few days, and that is... Unusual.

Aki isn't clingy. He's not the kind of person that needs to hear everything that's going on at every second, that demands to know all the depth and details, but at the same time... It's concerning, that it's been a handful of days, and he hasn't had an odd text, some kind of teasing little comment, some sign of Tsurumaru in front of him. He's not quite foolish enough to imagine that he's done something wrong, but he doesn't trust LILITH to have done something right, either.

Tsurumaru is still close to Denji's room, so it doesn't take much for him to make his way down the hall and stand outside of Tsuru's door, lifting his hand to rap against the door with a tap, tap, tap. ]

Tsuru...

(There's no answer.

From inside, he hears the rap-tap-tap on the door but he can't will himself to move or even muster up much strength to even respond. So dizzy and almost delirious with pain, he tries to will himself to do something. From his desk, the hummingbird drones twitter and chirp. They sound almost anxious and as if waiting for a queue, all it takes is a small shift in bed, the way he crooks his finger ever so slightly and one hummingbird takes towards the door.

It slides open and Aki will be greeted by... five hummingbirds besetting him with fluttering wings and chirping noises. One even nips at his face as if to corral him inside.

Inside, he'll be able to recognize from the pile of blankets and the kimono robe on top that Tsurumaru is in bed. He curls even tighter into himself, shifting to pull the covers over him more. He's a proud spirit. He doesn't want to be seen like this.)

Stop that -

[ The hummingbirds go for his face, and he groans, hand rising to nudge them away gently - so gently, because he knows they're important to Tsurumaru, precious little things that keep him company. Stepping into the room is familiar enough now, with all the time they've spent together, and when he looks around he tries to find where Tsurumaru is.

... The pile of blankets.

Slowly making his way over, Aki kicks his shoes off by the door and lets his jacket hang off the edge of his bed as he moves over, settling down. Tsuru shifts, hiding himself, and he sighs, hand reaching out to rest lightly on his leg, perhaps where the ankle is, careful.

Not demanding or asking, just waiting. ]

Are you sick?

(Please treat his small borb children well.

They'll give him space when he enters and go over to rest on the nightstand by the bed where all of them seem to huddle over at the corner closest to Tsurumaru. Their tails bob up and down almost in anticipation to see what will happen next.

As for Tsurumaru himself, he can't see but he can feel Aki approach. He feels the weight on the bed and...

He hisses, jerking his leg away and going tense with pain. It had been a light touch but he'd felt it surge up his entire leg. It was a burning, sharp pain and he needs a moment to recover from the shock he'd just felt. Finally, he mumbles, voice quiet and weak,)

... Don't touch me.

(Still not showing himself,)

Don't look at me, either.

Tsuru…

[ Aki’s not an idiot. He can recognise some of the signs: he’d felt something similar after he’d been given his prosthetic arm, after he’d been drowned in the surgical treatment. He can’t imagine that there was anything Tsusu needed that badly, but he’s not one to judge, selling his life force for power. A little pain isn’t much in comparison to that, is it?

Drawing his hand back, he shakes his head. ]

If you’re unwell, I’m not leaving. I don’t have to look at you to take care of you, idiot.

[ He does wish he could touch him, though, or hold him, do something more… His fingers flex a little. Tsuru might not want to be looked at, but Aki doesn’t want to feel powerless to help him. ]

Have you eaten?

(Don't call him an idiot when he already feels bad. From under the covers, he huffs and ever so slowly.... a flash of white peeks out. His hair is a mess and he looks worn and tired from what little he reveals. He still keeps part of his face covered under the sheets,)

I'm not hungry.

(Eating has been the last thing on his mind and the birds at the table chirp in what can only be interpreted as an affirmative.

But now that he's revealed himself and he's looking at Aki, he feels a pang in his chest and he winces. Without thinking, he moves his leg to touch him, just to tap him, and pulls back again. It's kind of dizzying how he simultaneously want to hold him but can't stand to be touched right now and he turns over in bed. Maybe if he doesn't look, he won't feel it anymore, he thinks, but he still does and he whines,)

Hold me.

(After he'd just told him not to.)

Careful... it hurts.

(Just try. Try to make it better. He's going mad.)

I'll be careful.

[ If touch is the problem... Aki isn't too sure what they can do about that. He frowns for a moment before he gathers as many of the blankets around Tsurumaru as he can, tucking them carefully around him before he makes his way up the bed to settle down there, to make sure he's not so close it might trigger something but not so far away his company can't be felt.

Slowly, he reaches out - deliberately, this time, with his metal hand. Maybe this will be easier. ]

I'll get you something to eat later. Try holding this hand for now and see how that feels.

[ If that doesn't work... He's not too sure what he can do.

The notion of having a pillow buffer between them does settle in his mind, but that's something to consider later. For now, this is plan A. ]

(He's tense, almost anxious for what he'll feel next. He feels more blankets piled on top of him and even that makes his skin prickle. It isn't looking good, in his mind, he knows it isn't going to be good but maybe maybe maybe just maybe it'll be okay, he wants to believe--

He inhales sharply and pulls back again.)

... I'm going to die.

(He's so miserable and the hummingbirds chirp quietly beside them. )

There has to be something that we can do.

[ Aki sighs, resisting the urge to reach up and stroke through Tsurumaru's hair, touching him so gently - because it'll just hurt him. He hovers all the same, anxiety thrumming through him gently.

Tsurumaru is in pain and Aki can't help him, and that's probably one of the worst kinds of tortures for him, who just wants to take care of people as much as he can. ]

What if we used a pillow?

No.

(He doesn't want that. It isn't just the sensitivity from the surgery driving him mad. There's this contradictory need to feel someone's touch. He feels starved for contact and Aki being here feels like such a tease.

Aki who has felt him so intimately before. Aki who made him feel so good that he just knows if he could feel him again, he'd just be better. He's silent with frustration, sulking in bed as his body aches all over with want and discomfort. He flexes his hands, digging his nails into his palms, and just... tries to think clearly.

All he can think right now is how badly he wants to be held. He wants someone to hold him. Someone warm, someone sure, someone gentle, some-- he stops his thoughts, cutting them off, taking in a long, controlled breath and exhaling evenly.)

...

(Silently enduring. Bearing all of the pain onto himself. He can do this. He can...

Ah.)

... My sword.

Your...?

[ Aki turns his head, towards where he knows the sword rests when Tsurumaru in his room. He knows from their time together in the hospital that he can feel things from his sword, or around it, so the notion of that being able to do something to aid him here, too... Nodding his head, he draws himself away from Tsurumaru's body.

It should, maybe, feel a little more odd, that he is so casual and easy about knowing the man he is entangled with is both man and sword, but it doesn't. He comes from a world with Devils and fiends and contracts, he comes from a place where this would be perfectly normal, so he doesn't question it.

Slowly, he rises up and hovers, hesitating for a moment. ]

Do you want me to hold it? If you can feel it...

[ He hesitates, gazing at Tsurumaru with a little hesitation to him. ]

I don't want to hurt you.

(His sword is right on the window ledge where it fits so neatly and perfectly. He'll have to reach over Tsurumaru but it would be easy enough to do.

Ah.

As miserable as he is, that makes him smile. For just a second, his heart beats and in such a way that it's like receiving medicine. He feels so warm.)

I know.

(He knows Aki wouldn't hurt him intentionally. He's taken care of him well.)

Just try.

Fine.

[ Aki is careful as he moves, leaning over Tsurumaru, making sure not to touch him, not to let his arm of his fingers brush over him as he reaches out and takes the sword into his hands. He's held it before, of course, when he helped pour the water out and make sure he was safe in the hospital, but it's different now.

It feels more intimate.

The sword is in his hand, then, and he's moving to sit at the end of the bed, by Tsurumaru's curled up feel, head tilted. ]

How does it feel?

(Again, he goes still and he wonders... no, he doesn't wonder at all. He simply turns his mind off, focusing instead on the way Aki comes closer, leans over him, and how painfully close he feels.

Then he feels it.

The effect is almost instant, the way his body seems to relax finally and ht realizes how tense he's been all this time. He feels like he's been working all day but truly, he as just in bed wearing himself out by riding out the pain. He lets out a long sigh and just needs to rest for a moment.

He can feel it. A strong hand supporting him, holding him carefully,)

Better.

(So much better. It's like someone holding him steady on his feet.)

Much... better...

Oh...

[ Aki settles, cross-legged on the bed, and holds the blade gently in his hands. It feels... Nice, to hold something and know that it's connected to Tsurumaru like this, and he watches him as some of that tension bleeds away. He's managed to do something, and that feels like enough, at least for right now.

Careful with the blade, aware of the nature of it, how important this is, he places it across his lap, one hand resting midway down, the other over the hilt.

Slowly, carefully, he brushes his finger it, like he would with a thumb on Tsurumaru's knuckle. ]

I'm glad.

[ Still stroking, careful, gentle, tender, filled with warmth and the desire to cherish. ]

I'll hold it as long as you need.

(His breathing slows, becoming more normal again and with each stroke, the tension bleeds away more and more. It feels warm and good and it's hard to really translate how the touch translates to his human form.

He feels like his hand is being held, like his hair is being brushed, like a reassuring hand is on his shoulder all at once and it feels so good to finally relax. After a moment, he finally manages to mumble tiredly,)

What are you thinking?

(Because he can feel it. Something.)

That I'm glad.

[ Aki can take care of him. He wonders if anyone else would be allowed to do this, or if it's just him. His eyes lift, looking over at the man in the bed in front of him, and he hesitates for a moment before he leans a little closer. What he wants to do...

Is he allowed...?

Tilting his head, his lips twitch a little. ]

I wanted to come here and take care of you, and I have, Tsuru.

[ He can't help himself. Lifting the blade up, he presses a kiss against the hilt of it without thinking. ]

(He can't see. He can only feel and that has him going still. It's the way Aki is holding the sword-- the way he's holding him. He can feel it and when he least expects it, his entire body jumps from surprise. Now that the's feeling better, he can pull the sheets down from over his head and show his face-- pale gold eyes bright and wide with surprise, face blushing red, and mouth hanging open.)

What did you just...

(No, he doesn't finish that. He can see it for himself now and it just makes him glow even brighter. )

What a surprise....

(This was...........

a first.)

[ Aki is, after it happens, a little embarrassed, lowering the blade and glancing away. His cheeks feel hot, and his hands are careful as they hold onto the sword, and he thinks... A kiss. A kiss on cool metal, warming from his hands, but...

How did it feel, to Tsurumaru?

Looking over, he hesitates ever so briefly before he licks his lips and nods his head, once. ]

... Sorry. I just wanted to kiss you.

[ And he couldn't normally, so in that case... ]

I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable.

(He can feel that heat, Aki.......

And Tsurumaru stays flushed, equally embarrassed and looks away.)

It was a first...

(He hadn't expected that at all. BUt he doesn't sound upset; only flustered.)

No one's kissed you like this before?

[ That's kind of... It feels nice, the idea that this is theirs. That he's taken this, a little gift for himself, to tuck away into his heart.

Glancing away, he licks his lips. ]

Do you want me to do it again? Or never do it again?

No one kisses swords.

(Only Aki because he's a freak, huh...... no, he thinks its endearing and he's quiet for a moment, thinking about it. Did he like it?)

Kisses are for humans. (And quietly,) ... It feels better in this form. I can do more.

(His human form. Because he can return it, ask for more, be greedy, be soft, he can do so much more in a human form.)

I wasn't just kissing the sword. I was kissing you.

[ Aki shakes his head, though, letting the sword rest down against his lap, before he smiles softly. ]

When you're feeling better, I'll kiss you for hours. As many as you like.

...

(He watches him from over the covers, pale gold eyes studying him so carefully all over again. After a moment, he shifts, reaches out with one cautious hand... His hand stops just short with Aki just enough out of reach that he can't touch.)

Come closer.

Tsuru...

[ Isn't it a little dangerous? Aki does move, though, letting him move a little closer, enough that Tsurumaru could definitely touch him if he wanted to. The idea of hurting him isn't something that Aki wants to do, but...

He wants to touch him too. ]

Take it easy.

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