synflux | ( closed ) life like the unplumbed sea;

[ He'd expected her to cling onto his arm, but sure—if she prefers to take his hand, that works too. There's a brief pause before he tightens his grip around hers, letting the moment settle. ]

After I'd just had the best sleep of my life since getting here? No way.

[ There's a softer laugh, reminded of their time at the simulations. The operative word here is try, he's sure. Yet, her restraint is to be praised nonetheless—getting revenge on a kaiju is one thing, stopping yourself from chasing after someone you cherish is another. Every second 'wasted' is another chance you could be too late, something you'd never be able to forgive yourself for. So, really, he doesn't blame her in the slightest.

Elysium would like to do more. He really would. ]

Even I don't know how to feel about all the concern you're suddenly showing me these days. I'm not that fragile. Things like this—they're just another day. Look. If there's one thing I'm tired of, it's that these last few missions themselves haven't given us a single break. Not cool. Can't we have something relaxing for once? Or go well?

[ somehow clinging to someone's arm is too intimate compared to holding hands?? don't ask. she's done it with yuwon plenty of times even after she and wriothesley became official, so. it's not that deep. ]

Do your missions back home usually go swimmingly?

[ huffs. oh, if only every quest in retrieving the golden boughs back in the city went splendidly every time. as they say, fourth time's the charm after hilariously failing the first three attempts. ]

I'm not usually like this, you know. I just... have a very bad feeling about all this. It's the same feeling I get whenever the Waves back at the Lake are about to hit.

[ she squeezes his hand. her neuroticism truly knows no bounds sometimes, but can you really blame here when they're being forced to grasp at straws once again? ]

Edited 2024-10-02 09:25 (UTC)

No, but a guy can wish…

[ If anything, these isolated kaiju incidents far beat out what he has to deal with at home. But he sighs nevertheless, pursing his lips together. ]

… Sorry, sorry. I know it's rough for you. [ As similarly as he feels on both accounts, he keeps it to himself. ] As soon as we're done here, we can draft up a plan of action. I already have a couple of names in mind even if it's better we keep our numbers low.

[ Instinctively, he squeezes her hand back. Wriothesley might not be here, but Elysium is—even if he recognises that it isn't much of a consolation. ]

Izou and Yuwon. [ … ] How do you feel about them?

[ before she answers, they come across what they're looking for -- a river that should be teeming with fish and providing enough distraction from the foreboding feeling they're currently afflicted with right now. ]

Those two? [ she blinks. ] I can count on them. Izou's probably one of the few people I can freely talk to in Brimstone, while I've known Yuwon as long as I've known Wriothesley.

[ so. yeah. she's pretty close with those guys and can safely rely on them. ]

You're choosing them, then?

Edited (i cant read) 2024-10-03 09:11 (UTC)

[ considering their hands one last time, he releases his hold with a soft hum, gently pushing one of the rods into her grip in its stead. moving on ahead to assess the stream, he tips his head, smiles, then settles himself on the rocks as he sifts around another one of the toolboxes he'd swiped for bait. ]

'Choosing'… Well, it's more like I'll be asking.

[ does he expect them to say no? not really. after he's set up his rod, he'll reach over to set up ishmael's, too. ]

But yeah, we do need heavier hitters. If we end up coming across this 'God' that they've been talking about, it might not be so easy for us to get away.

[ mm… ]

You'll probably end up worrying about Miss Rodya too, right? There's space in my room that I can tell her about when we get back. Between Siffrin and Miss Gebura, [ and yesod and whoever else later on……… ] she'll be well taken care of.

[ she'll let elysium take care of their rods as she sits beside him on the rocks, surveying the river. the fish actually look... normal?? not like the mutated ones they can fish out in okinawa. kind of fucked up that the tasty-looking food they were initially served with was laced with bad intentions, assuming that said food were tainted. ]

...No. She can take care of herself. And she has Yuwon anyway.

[ she clenches her fist. ]

Knowing her, she's already warned people about I'm going to do. Because she'd seen me lose it in the past and she even had to carry me away before I did something reckless. [ she huddles her knees closer to her chest, propping her chin on them. ] Not that that's going to help me in the long run.

[ not if?? they end up taking him with them?? i'm in tears.

well. even if he's also thinking about it, he isn't going to say as much. and elysium, more used to fish looking a little messed up anyway, doesn't have anything to say about the fish themselves, either. the field guide he'd looked into cleared most of them as edible, so does it matter what they look like? not really.

but——stop huddling… he's just going to nudge her with his hand until she unfurrows herself from her ball. they have fish to catch, missy. ]

Do you think it'll help more to know that you did everything you could?

[ shhhhhhHHHHH

fine fine, she stops huddling and reaches over to grab her rod back from him and casts her line with an expert flick of her hand. ]

No. It won't ever be enough.

[ she tightens her grip around her rod, turning her head to him. ]

I told you a little bit about her on that call the other night, so... it's about time I give someone here a little more context.

[ make yourself comfortable, ely. ]

Think like that and you're bound to burn yourself out.

[ A nudge of their shoulders, careful not to disrupt their rods. ]

… And yet, it is always easier said than done, believing that any amount of effort's ever enough for what's important to you. … Telling yourself that you did all you could, over and over. [ … ] Sometimes that's all you got to keep yourself going.

[ Voice wistful, scantly louder than the flowing river. Kicking back, he holds her gaze through a sidelong glance. ]

Go ahead.

Speaking from experience, are we?

[ a little quip before she sighs, turning her gaze towards the river. ]

Her name was Queequeg. She was my dear friend on the Pequod.

I think I already told you about the details about Ahab before, but being under her rule on that ship was stifling - as though the horrors we'd encountered in the Lake to make a living weren't enough. And Queequeg had known this this, so she'd built herself a coffin for contingency. A coffin so sturdy that it would not sink no matter how much the Waves rocked the boat in the event that she died.

So we set our sights on a Whale that Ahab had been hunting for Wings know when. It was our given right to hunt it down, after all -- it was one of the Five Calamities of the Great Lake, and by killing it, we could finally put an end to everyone's suffering, including our own. [ she scoffs. ]

We were no match for the Whale the first time. It destroyed the Pequod in one go, and before I knew it, I was barely hanging on to Queequeg's coffin.

[ the "hearse". she stares down at her hands, weather-worn from hanging onto the ropes of the coffin to the point where her palms had bled open. ]

I was the only one who survived. Or so I thought.

Edited 2024-10-04 03:36 (UTC)

[ Ishmael looks away, and so does Elysium out of respect. That's a rhetoric question if he's ever heard one, his speaking from experience, so he simply gives her passage to segue into her tale, quiet save for the occasional cast and reel of his fishing line.

There's a lot to consider, from the story itself to the significance of her decision to share it with him now, of all times. It weighs heavily, alongside everything else that has accumulated over time—others' expectations of him, and his own expectations of himself, someone who'd never meant to be a constant in anyone's lives but ultimately became one, anyway. ]

Or so you thought. And that's where your captain not being as 'cracked up to be' comes into play, I presume.

[ and what she'd wanted to kill her for, but that part remains unsaid. Four months ago, was it? When they'd first and last spoke of her captain specifically, and a little over a month when he'd seen the flash of raw emotion she'd displayed when he'd called himself a member of her crew.

In a way, it feels both distant and recent. Elysium had never anticipated remaining long enough to hear the rest of his story, and yet his memories would always be vivid in the sense most events would feel as if they'd unfolded just the other day anyway. Despite her shifting beside him, he keeps his gaze fixed straight ahead, brows creased in thought.

It's no surprise, then. Her desperation to find Wriothesley. The way she had carried herself, so listlessly—eventually finding something to hold onto, only to lose it—was the very image of something he never wanted to become. Admirable and frightening. Enviable and detestable. Is it really a wonder why he finds her so strong? ]

So then what?

[ she exhales. the fact that she's able to tell someone about queequeg without breaking down is already a feat for her, tbh. she's truly come so far. ]

Long story short, I found her again. Only to loser her again the second time. I was... devastated, of course. But over time I realized that I needed to move on and let go instead of letting my obsession rule my life. It's... what she would've wanted.

[ "chart your own way. your path. that is my wish." she'd sworn she'd heard queequeg say that, long after her last breath, as ishmael pierced the heart of the whale. and wriothesley had offered to chart a course with her too, when they'd confessed to one another. ]

But until I find Wriothesley again, I can't let him go. That's why we can't give up.

[ she turns to him again, a silent determination burning in her gaze. ]

And you're going to help me. Can I count on you?

[ What a wonder it is to repeatedly face devastating losses and yet still find the strength to pick oneself up time and time again. He doesn't need to face her to know what expression she's wearing—he's known her long enough to grasp her convictions and her fierce determination that burns as brightly, if not more so, than her hair. Yet, he looks, because he both hears and feels that kindled and ever-growing intensity directed towards him.

The real question is whether it's something that will continue to burn bright or reduce everything in its wake to ash. Of which, he doesn't really have an answer for. Eventually: ]

… We can't. Give up, that is. [ There's a lengthier pause as he closes his eyes to inhale sharply, only to exhale a sardonic laugh. ] Because… [ … ] There's someone I've promised to be there for, too.

[ Not in as explicit or uncertain words, but… he's reeling in his line to curl his fist a little more tightly. In comparison to her resolve, there's no denying that his own pales in comparison. Still, it didn't necessarily mean he'd give it any less than his best. ]

So, I'm not exactly doing this entirely selflessly, even if Wriothesley's one of the ones I hope we find. I hope we're able to find everyone, but I do have something of a personal stake in this. [ 'something of.' a little like it's a bad thing that he does. a little like he wish he hadn't, buried under the many layers of his forced nonchalance. ]

Even if I didn't, though——for sure. Life's the last thing I'll take half-heartedly.

[ as his medication sits in his pocket, untouched. ]

[ damn..... she gains a moment of clarity for a hot second, and she's about to ask him who it is. malkuth, probably. she doesn't want to think about her grudge right now, not until she's fed up six days from now. ]

Selflessly or not, it doesn't matter what you're doing this for as long as we can get to them before disaster strikes.

[ whatever that may be. her mind couldn't stop cooking worst-case scenarios, but even someone like her, who thought she'd seen the worst the City has to offer, is drawing up a blank. just what kind of nefarious schemes a little backwater town like this has in store for twenty or so people that aren't being managed by a corporation?

but before she can dwell on it any longer, something tugs at her line, and she reels it in and catches... a largemouth bass. tfw im using stardew valley fish here ]

Hm. Looks like I still got it. [ there's a small smile as she shows ely her catch. ] Thanks, though. For hearing me out. Not even Wriothesley knew her name.

[ girl, if it were malkuth she wouldn't even be hearing about this right now. the last thing he wants to do is navigate their complicated relationship, much less remind her of it during a sensitive time……

little does she know, the entire incident ranks so low among the things he's experienced that he doesn't even consider it worth clarifying. woops. ]

Sure. I just thought it'd be extra security to let you to know.

[ meanwhile, there's me, being vague as hell with his catches even after i'd spent ten minutes researching the type of fish they'd find in transylvania. starts crying. yeah, let's go with that. bass for all ]

… But, anytime. The stars don't have to be out for me to lend you an ear. [ a smile back, and he sits up to offer her another hand. ] Let's head back so we can do exactly that. Find him before disaster strikes.

( closed ) life like the unplumbed sea;

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