ʀᴀɪᴅᴏᴜ ᴋᴜᴢᴜɴᴏʜᴀ xɪᴠ (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
the_fourteenth) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
synflux2024-05-12 11:18 am
the_fourteenth) wrote in synflux2024-05-12 11:18 am
[Closed]
WHO: Raidou Kuzunoha & Yuji Itadori
WHAT: A surprise!
WHERE: Hanabi Izakaya
WHEN: 05/13/78
WARNINGS: N/A
In the morning, Yuji will get a text:
Are you free today? Around 5PM? Could you stop by the izakaya if so?
[If Yuji is indeed free, when he arrives at the bar, Raidou is waiting by the door. Instead of wearing his usual cook's uniform, he's wearing something a little nicer; just a button down shirt and dress slacks, all black as usual though. As always, Yuji is greeted with a bright smile.]
Hi. Thanks for coming.
WHAT: A surprise!
WHERE: Hanabi Izakaya
WHEN: 05/13/78
WARNINGS: N/A
In the morning, Yuji will get a text:
Are you free today? Around 5PM? Could you stop by the izakaya if so?
[If Yuji is indeed free, when he arrives at the bar, Raidou is waiting by the door. Instead of wearing his usual cook's uniform, he's wearing something a little nicer; just a button down shirt and dress slacks, all black as usual though. As always, Yuji is greeted with a bright smile.]
Hi. Thanks for coming.
no subject
[He smiles thoughtfully to himself.]
Good food makes people happy.
[The smile doesn't stay, though, as he's got something on his mind. Raidou is quiet for a moment, before looking at Yuji again, fingers wrapping a little tighter around his.]
Can I ask you something? Your opinion on something, I mean.
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[ The hand tightens around his, though, and Yuji pauses before he nods, leaning a little closer. ]
You can ask me anything you want. I don't mind at all.
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[Probably not a question Yuji was expecting to hear. But, after how bad the side effects were from Yuji's last surgery, maybe he could understand why Raidou might be hesitating.]
They can use nanobots to make you a lot stronger. Maybe that way, the next time there's an attack...
[His shoulders hunch, and looks down at the ground.]
I can keep up with everyone that way.
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That's not the kind of thing that I can really tell you not to do.
[ Considering that he's had two, and caused problems both times, but... ]
I think if the only reason you want to get them is because you think you have to match other people, then maybe that's not why you should? If you want to be stronger, or help people, stuff like that... It feels more reasonable.
[ Again, not that he can talk, but - ]
I think you're strong, Johei. Really strong. And you have a pact with Choso, and you could make one with me, and that could help too, right? So going through something so painful...
no subject
["No one" mostly being Yuji.]
I've learned that here, in this world, I have to help people differently than I did at home. And this is one option. It's just...
[It's not like the healing upgrade, something that doesn't really have any outward physical effects. The nanobot injection would put him on a level of strength closer to Yuji's. It's a significant change.]
Things would be really different with it, maybe in a good way. I don't know.
[A wistful smile creeps in when Yuji says he's strong, and he leans against him as they walk, with a quiet sigh.]
Yes. I'm glad for that. But I wonder if it's enough.
no subject
[ Yuji frowns, crossing his arms a little as he stops to think. It's clear he's really giving it a lot of thought, using as much of his limited brain power as he can. ]
Aniki still has to come and take care of me sometimes. Megumi looks out for me, and dandelion too. That's one of the things I've been working on.
[ He's really, really trying. ]
Katsuki said... The way I feel about wanting to protect others is how they feel about me in return, so I have to take that into account and take care of myself. If this is what you want, then I'll support you, but you can think about that, too.
no subject
... Nanami had told me something similar.
[This is a team, and everyone wants to keep each other safe. That he owed his teammates protection as much as they owe it to him.]
It's hard for me to think otherwise. I... was trained that way, knowing the day would come when I could potentially take up my title. That I would no longer be anything but Kuzunoha Raidou, the Capital's summoner. My will for others.
[He's really trying, too. He's made a little progress, but he has a long way to go. Those insecurities from his failures at home and near-failures here continue to haunt him almost every day.
His next admission is a quiet one.]
... I just don't want you to have to worry about me.
no subject
Nanamin was always pretty sensible about this stuff.
[ Closing his eyes, Yuji hums a little, trying to pick the best words. The right ones. He's not great at comforting people, he doesn't think, but he can try. ]
I knew from the moment I became a sorcerer that I was destined to die, so I wanted to give it my all. If I could help people and protect them, then I'd have been happy with that, so I understand. Fighting for others is the reason I am surviving right now.
[ Haltingly, awkwardly, feeling that age-old hurt and pain, Yuji blinks his eyes rapidly. ]
Even if you were the strongest in the world, I'd still worry about you, Johei.
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He feels badly seeing Yuji struggling to hold back, and Raidou squeezes his hand and tugs him just a little closer. He thinks he has his answer now, at least.
He can't stand to see Yuji go through what he did when battling the yama-denki again. His heart aches just thinking about it. Choso warned him that it will continue no matter if Raidou was there or not.]
Perhaps back home, those were our destinies. I don't want it to be the same while here, however long it might be. We deserve the chance to live now. Don't we?
[Raidou finally turns to look at him, as of searching Yuji for an answer.]
no subject
[ Yuji lifts his head, watching for a moment. He's talked around the subject before, been honest about it, but this... This is the first time he's addressed it so explicitly, he thinks. The first time he's been plain about it. ]
Dying to kill Sukuna, or dying fighting Sukuna, that's my role. Higuruma-san and I talked about it before the fight started, that... If it was our place to die in this fight, that would be okay. I'll do that, if it means saving the people I care about.
[ Megumi, he means. As if there's anyone else left for him to care that deeply for, with all the deaths. ]
Being here is a break, and I want to use it to get stronger, and that means doing the things that I can do. And it means doing the things you can do, too, with your strength. I want you to be happy, in this place.
[ Leaning in, he touches his forehead against Raidou's. ]
Living or dying... Maybe I'll be okay with either. But no matter what, I'll keep protecting you. I want to live with you and the others, for as long as I'm able to. If you go and do it, I'll hold your hand after, but if you don't, I'll still be proud of you.
no subject
He stops, taking both of Yuji's hands in his, keeping their foreheads touching. It didn't matter if they were out on the street, if people were around. His heart was hurting in this moment and Yuji is what's important here.
His eyes are squeezed shut, and he takes a shuttered breath.]
I want you to be happy, too. You deserve it.
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Yuji lets himself steal closer to Raidou, lets himself be held, to allow himself to squeeze at his hands and let himself hold onto this moment, this boy, let himself feel being alive for just a little bit longer.
Closing his eyes, he smiles. ]
I'm happier here. That's good enough for someone like me.
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[It bears repeating, he thinks. And he'll do what he can to make that happen.]
I'm sorry to have... [To have crashed the mood after such a nice night.] I really appreciate you hearing me out. Thank you.
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I'll always listen. No matter how hard it is.