( 人斬り以蔵 ) — ᴍᴀɴsʟᴀʏᴇʀ ɪᴢᴏᴜ. (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
hitokiller) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
synflux2024-11-03 03:39 pm
hitokiller) wrote in synflux2024-11-03 03:39 pmEntry tags:
hitokiller) wrote in synflux2024-11-03 03:39 pm
december.
march 7th, 12/16-ish.
( the last stray, that is.
they've been rounding up their furry little friends for a good couple hours now, all friendly nips and tails wagging at the sight of them. izou occasionally makes his rounds in this part of the city, and it was an easy decision to assist her in sneaking them onto the base and into her room, providing them a moment of warmth from the cold. in fact, she's one of the only people for whom he'd bother going through all the hassle period.
that, and there were things on his mind lately. each cheek has a hint of pink from the frost as izou shoves his hands into the pockets of a puffy jacket, the neon glow of a nearby christmas tree in the square illuminating their faces. even now, after everything, it still feels like he's stealing glances. )
Sure you're not gonna regret it when they trash your room? Those mutts aren't exactly house-trained.
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It's okay. I told them not to make a mess and I'd take them out when I could. They said they'd do their best.
[ She says this entirely confidently. ]
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( first he's ever heard of it, brows knitting. )
If so, tell 'em to quit jumping on me soon as they see me. It's like some sorta dog-specific jumpscare.
( dogs aside, it feels good to be out at a normal time together. to not be overwhelmed with the scents and sensations of everything around him, including march. his eye glances coolly across the scarf 'round her neck and remembers warmer emotions. red against her skin. things that feel so close and yet so far.
he exhales a ragged breath as some civilian steps off the street and past them, arms locked with the metallic arm of his companion. bah. )
Wanna get a drink or somethin'? Now that we're not running around like chickens, it's just gonna keep getting colder.
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[ So she probably won't tell them that, because it's cute and Izou always makes aggravated yelps when they do it and that's also cute and March is not always the most merciful person in the world. ]
But it's not like a... one-to-one translation? [ No, sometimes it is. ] It's just the bond between cute girls and puppies!
[ Oh right, he'd just said-- ] But yeah, something warm sounds amazing right now! I'm okay with not letting us get too cold out here. [ Not actually a fan of the cold, quite frankly. ]
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Happy or no, I don't need their paws all over me. And—
( the chill can turn a perfect day into a shivering mess, izou knows.
he also knows the significance of these upcoming festivities, the front of his shoe tapping lightly against the concrete of the sidewalk before reaching out for her arm. there's more finesse to it than usual, but it's still a bit of a jerky, rough movement when coming from izou, a man who never had a need to be gentle before.
but he wants to do it.
he wants to try and be more considerate at times like these, like she always is for him. )
There's a machine around the corner, in the park. We could get potage, or maybe they have one of those... those "cafe ole" drinks, and sit for a spell.
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[ Surely not. She's cheerily linking arms with him, already leaning in closer to press the sides of their bodies together. When it's warm, it's a great idea to cuddle, and Izou has come a long way from bristling when she tried to take his hand. The product of months of trying to close that gap between them, after all. ]
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( he swallows cold air, the roadmap of her smaller body pushed against him. she really is so much smaller, and kinder, and...
damn. he could linger near the pink glow of her for so much longer. long enough 'till he couldn't stand the tender ache of something he probably didn't deserve anymore and had to say something. anything. but right now, all that comes out is: )
Long as it's you... I oughta be able to handle it.
( around the corner, then. arms locked. which... no one better be staring. it's not that he minds doing stuff like this. just. he doesn't want to feel like he's being scrutinized for it in public.
the vending machines in question take a simple swipe of the wrist, and then izou's holding out a toasty beverage in a brown can towards march. )
Y'know, I've been thinking... how we've been doin' this for a while now, and... ( don't stumble over your tongue, now. ) How do you think of me, exactly? Someone like me, after... everything we've been through.
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She does have to unwind their arms at this point to accept the can from him, even as she stays pressed close, eyes flickering from the drink to his face with a mildly perplexed air. ]
Like, how do I think of you as a person? As a boyfriend?
[ Her eyebrows scrunch up a little. ]
"Someone like you"?
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izou doesn't reach for the machine to get something for himself just yet, but he's turned towards it. )
Someone, who... can't do a damn thing without bein' selfish about it half the time. So, both... I guess.
( that same hand fidgets unnecessarily, fingertips pressing into each other like they're looking for something to grab. )
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[ The can is warm against her palms but she doesn't open it yet, instead keeping an eye on the side of his face. Someone who can't do something without being selfish about it more often than not? Isn't that human of him? Even the members of the Astral Express had their reasons for helping and a lot of it boiled down to recovering a Stellaron.
In the end, because of how they'd met, his flat assurance that he wouldn't let anyone hurt her despite barely knowing her... it's hard to view him entirely the way he sees himself. He's not perfect, no, but neither is she. She needs to point out when things aren't okay and she has to get used to telling him when they aren't for her especially, instead of sucking it up and powering through it.
But isn't that just... a sign that they're taking this seriously?
She wants to give him this big thoughtful explanation of what she thinks, but what slips out instead is a very simple-- ]
I love you.
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that he can be tough to talk to, that he comes off as pushy and a bit too loud, not really giving her a chance to say anything when he’s rambling on about something unimportant. that he should chill out a bit and be more considerate. that deep-down, there really isn't a soothing thing about him. only a deep-seated bitterness that's warped into thorns for his own protection, where march had managed to slip through without getting hurt.
eventually, he'll prick her. he knows it. he'll get all up in his head and ruin it for the both of them.
but then he hears what she actually has to say, and—
izou whips his head around immediately, kind of awe-struck and eyes wide. )
Wh... You—
( he stammers, completely caught off guard. just like before, at the river. not an inch of him is graceful, and yet—
"i love you".
his bottom lip quivers, unable to grasp at the words to even form a reply. everything about her is so unpredictable, so alien to him. so comforting that he's gradually grown afraid of ever having to let go. but no one's ever actually said a phrase like that to him before, and it activates his fight or flight response before anything else. so izou does what any self-respectable man does in a situation like this and completely forgets about the damn drink to stand his ground. even if standing his ground right now is so damn difficult with the sudden weakness in his legs. )
You... know what you're sayin', right? The weight of it. To someone who's breathin' now, but... I—
( his already straining voice cracks, izou using the machine for support now as a balled fist rests upon it almost desperately. )