synflux | SEMI-OPEN / WITH BLOODSHED AND BARE HANDS

( noctis' surprise does more to answer kaladin's question than his actual no. it shows that little care is taken in lucis to safeguard its people from the effects of loss. like on roshar, feelings are left to become septic like a gut wound and rot—but there are more treatments for a punctured intestine than an instability in the brain. )

It doesn't, ( he decides after taking stock of how his mood is now, ) not for me. I'll always wonder if I'm doing the right thing.

All I know is I was in a worse headspace ten minutes ago, Noctis, and that was before coming into your room to talk with you. If I had to make a hard choice now, and I shared my indecision with you knowing you understood how that felt, I think I'd be better equipped to handle whatever came my way.

( that... might be the goal. not to problem solve, but to prepare. if planning defensive formations and attack campaigns are military musts, why can the same ideas not be applied to how thoughts are approached? anxiety is anticipating an uncertain event or outcome; strategizing can help minimize its effects. make ready the nerves to receive the results.

his frown deepens, then smooths out entirely.

noctis' eyes can't meet his yet, and kaladin's task to accomplish before they leave to spar is to encourage them to focus on him. it won't do to become distracted, even by a breakthrough in his own thinking. )

What about you? Why do you think talking might be helpful?

[ So the indecision stays, even for someone like Kaladin. He's seemed not only reserved and competent but passionate, sure of himself and his choices because they've been driven by emotion. By morals. But...

Isn't that how Noctis himself comes across? Removed, unaffected, moral, unflappable. But he's here, talking with him, feeling like he's balancing on a tightrope. It's terrifying and it's asking a lot of both of them, but for once he's not alone with that feeling. ]

You're asking me? When I'm the one that's brand new at this? [ There's a scoff in that tone but it's self-directed, half an attempt to deflect from sincerity and half a true dig at his own hesitation. ]

Maybe... because now I really know there's at least one guy here who isn't a psycho. Feels like I can trust you more.

Because whether any of this works or not I know you're trying to help.

( trust is a weight often put on him, but recently everyone's doubted him. they've had valid reasons to when he can barely hold a spear. there's something about it being noctis, still something of a stranger to him, and in another world that makes it easier. to train, to do kata. storms, he even managed to rescue hunter from monsters terrorizing him and the city.

he knows there'll be consequences to how okay he feels at the moment; something always goes wrong. the closer he gets to his comrades here, the harder future choices will become. will his words be as reliable to noctis then? )

A sense of community, ( kaladin says more than asks. maybe that'll make them feel less insane, though what they potentially both suffer from—melancholia and anxiety at least, and a growing sense of nothing—would be described as just that. )

Between us, I think that's doable. It won't be easy, and I'm no expert... I'm sure we won't always see eye-to-eye. But it doesn't have to work—I think that suggests there's some cure, like a bandage for a cut. It just has to... free up some capacity. To feel... okay. A bit more secure. A bit less lonely.

Ah... I don't even know if I see eye-to-eye with you on the... the overall any of it.

[ Truthfully. Sure, he feels less alone. He feels safer with him. He feels all the selfish comforts that soothe him, that keep him the "protected", but how can he be the one to decide if that will in turn help everyone else who's counting on him? Will it keep him focused? Or will it make him soft to finally feel "a bit less lonely"?

The thought has him pressing lips together, brow knitting as he hangs his head. ]

... are you still ready to train? Because that's the "community" I need right now. We can postpone if you want but I've said all I feel like saying.

( at noctis' uncertainty, kaladin sniffs. it might as well be a laugh, paired with a quick upward quirk of one corner of his mouth, which seems genuine. he couldn't possibly deride his comrade for doubt he's experienced before.

it's relatable. )

Kelek's breath, you're stubborn. That's okay. We'll keep at it, Noctis. ( to prove he heard noctis, he adds: ) But no more today. Training's about all I had planned for the afternoon.

( his friend still looks tired. he's sure he does, too, which may be why he was given an excuse to get out of their sparring session. he refuses to use it, instead readily acquiescing to the idea of exercise. working up a sweat after talking his storming mouth off.

feeling reinvigorated, kaladin pulls himself to his feet from his position on the floor, offering a hand down to noctis. )

I'm ready... but, uh... will your cat be fine on its own? I might've startled it.

( might've............ )

[ It's strange.

Kaladin's acquiescence makes him feel secure enough with him to open up further, but teeth find his tongue as he attempts not to worry at his hands and he stays silent. The anxiety is still there but fading as the topic shifts, allowing him to breathe. ]

I'm the stubborn one? I don't show up and you hunt me down in person instead of sending me a text...

[ That hand appears before him and he immediately glances up, questioning only for the barest of moments before he's reaching out to take it. He hoists himself up, an awareness and appreciation for the strength in his arm noted in the back of his mind as his throat's cleared and his gaze redirected towards the door. ]

–Chauncey? [ mentally adds another point to Kaladin's tally because he asked... ]

Yeah, you scared her for sure. But she'll be okay – she came from a rougher situation. Like us, I guess.

[ ... ah, Noctis, what a lame thing to say... The mood felt right for it and now he's gone too far, abruptly stepping around Kaladin to investigate one of the clothes piles on the ground. ] Okay, out while I change. I can meet you over there?

I did what I thought would get a response. Are you telling me a text would've woken you up?

( especially an intense nap possibly brought on by a bout of melancholia? no, kaladin's glad he stood there pounding away until noctis got up to answer the door.

he holds noctis' hand with the assumption he'll pull up on his own but keeps his arm steady to help that happen. no effort is required on his part, which bodes well for training. it feels like it's been a while since he's gone toe to toe with someone who's as ready to teach him as they are to learn from him. )

... "Chauncey"? ( briefly considers apologizing to the space beneath the bed, but he's intruded long enough. ) There's no excuse for her, then. If she's like us, I expect her to join us for all future talks.

( even though she DISGUSTS HIM

with that, kaladin nods at noctis' plan and narrowly avoids slamming his forehead into the door frame on exiting. it's easy to forget the base wasn't designed for him, but the gymnasium is plenty big, and if that's not enough space, the simulation room gives them unlimited access to entire worlds to practice in.

not yet accustomed to the odd sensations virtual reality gives him after the mission has ended, he opts to start them out in the sprawling gym. it's there that he waits for noctis, arms crossed, inspecting the thin shock-absorbing mat beneath his feet, which seems even on the floor. )

[ Telling Kaladin that no, a text absolutely would not have roused him and would've been extremely easy to ignore even if it had, is a course of action he decides against. Instead his reply is a noncommittal hum as he nabs a clean shirt that he fully expects will soon be sweaty and stretched. Annoying... maybe he should just wear this. ]

Yeah, yeah... I'll make sure to tell her; cats are always easy to order around. [ Kaladin's almost out the door when he catches himself, leaning back to call out over his shoulder: ] That's sarcasm!

[ He and Kaladin are from different worlds, both literally and socially. But today they found something unlikely to unite them, thanks to Kaladin's own insistence and care, and it brings to light what else they share – an unfamiliarity with "Earth". Something that should be small isn't at all when references have alienated them both, and he makes a quiet promise to himself that he won't intentionally add more of that feeling into his life here. ]

[ It takes him less than a minute to get dressed but nevertheless it's a full ten before he appears in the gym, one arm hooked beneath the other to stretch it across his chest as he approaches. ]

Hey. [ With arms crossed and his back straight, Kaladin almost seems like a different man to the one who was so gentle with him in his room such a short while before. ]

You didn't eat a heavy lunch, did you?

( noctis is already doing warm-ups when he walks in, and when kaladin picks up on that, he raises a brow. this is a better sight than the one he saw when he was answered at the door to room sixteen.

his friend looks ready to face the day.

in a pair of loose black sweatpants and an oversized t-shirt, the radiant looks far less prepared for a brawl. he should probably invest in a sleek outfit like noctis' to train in—especially considering they'll soon be in their form-fitting plugsuits fighting kaiju. )

Uh... I did. Sebastian made stew. ( and it'd probably simmered in a pot all night because it was one of the best flavour profiles he's ever tasted. ) Why?

Why? [ The question comes out paired with raised brows as he positions himself before him, leaving a comfortable distance between himself and Kaladin. ]

Because I don't feel like watching you puke when I work you hard, that's why. Tell me you at least had some time to digest... otherwise maybe we should start with training instead of the spar.

Maybe because you're so huge it doesn't matter...

Yeah, whatever. Try a couple of hours before you woke up. ( snorting, kaladin uncrosses his arms to catch his spear as it coalesces out of mist, eyes bleeding white-blue as the ability activates—they'll stay that way, though dim without his weapon in hand, for a few days. and the effect lasts longer all the time. )

Get ready to put your spheres where your mouth is, lucky bag. I want to see what you can do.

( condensation beads off a spear tip that's purposely blunted with a thought. if it should strike noctis during their spar, it'll no longer do much more than bruise. )

Let's go find you a weapon. Seok Dang keeps spares around here somewhere...

Ahh, admitting you eat lunch hours before noon doesn't make you look better.

[ It's a comfort, being able to now trade harmless barbs with him. It makes things feel normal, safely unchanged after a serious conversation he feared would convince his only real ally here to treat him differently. ]

My spheres– [ He cuts himself off when Kaladin's eyes suddenly lighten, lips parting for a quiet sound of surprise as his gaze shifts from their brightened form to the spear in his hand. ]

I have weapons, [ he adds quickly, clearly trying to dismiss that concern for his newfound interest. ]

This is Syl, right?

( does he have daggers hidden somewhere? kaladin feels he would've noticed them with how tight noctis' clothing is, but no odd wrinkles or shapes stand out to him. on closer inspection, his doubt mounts until only one conclusion can be drawn: noctis summons his weapons, too.

it's something he didn't expect to have in common with him, blinking through his own surprise as he looks down at the sylspear. )

Yes. This is Syl. ( he holds her up, though not out. ) She's able to transform... I don't know why she can't do anything else. Being suppressed must feel awful... like she's in a prison or something.

Meeting someone new will cheer her up, though.

[ Noctis, oblivious to Kaladin's train of thought but not to the eyes of an "enemy" combatant on him, erroneously assumes Kaladin is sizing him up for their impending fight. Well, maybe he'll judge based on size alone and underestimate him; that'll only lead to a greater sense of satisfaction when he gets to knock him on his ass for the first time.

Would Syl understand? He can only hope. ]

Maybe... You said you feel like she can hear us though, right? Maybe "prison" is you jumping to the worst case first. [ Maybe it's like lucid dreaming during a long peaceful nap... hands find his hips as he admires the beautiful spear, head tilting. ]

Hey, Syl. My voice isn't gonna' be familiar since his settings are still weird, but it's Noctis.

I'm gonna' have to beat Kaladin up a little but don't hold it against me. He just has it coming... you probably get it, since you deal with him all the time.

Jumping to the best case is no better, Noctis. I'd feel it if it were harming her, I think, but... ( he'd rather worry than act carefree. if they discover later this suppressive force is torturing her, he'll feel worse—callous.

noctis helps by distracting him from it. no one else has tried to speak with syl, and kaladin's charmed by it in a way he hadn't expected to be. his expression, which had begun to cloud over, lightens with a resigned little smile.

it's... sweet. )

... Hey, you're acting a little too confident right now. Posturing in front of the lady?

Not that she hasn't watched me take a few licks training with the swordmaster. Let's see, she'd probably say something like... "Never mind how I feel about it, Noctis, just as long as Kaladin's finally having fun for once. Can you believe he didn't laugh when I put a rat in his boot? Oh, look, something shiny. Got to go!"

[ The accusation of posturing is one he's heard before but never in front of or for the benefit of women specifically. Should he be proud or ashamed? ]

He didn't laugh? Talk about zero sense of humor. [ Somehow, as socially inexperienced as he is, he knows to not further push Kaladin's perception of Syl's condition. He's heard him and more will likely just cause an anxiety he relates to to further spin out of control.

So he pivots. Acknowledges Kaladin's little roleplay as reality, in spite of the fact that he has no idea what a rat is. ]

Guess some people can't handle pranks. [ Finally Noctis is taking a step back to allow ample room for the sword that crystallizes from hilt to blade in his hand, hardly as full of life and energy as Syl but not short of history... or magical force. ]

Oi... She doesn't feel it when she crosses weapons with someone else, right?

Get better jokes and maybe I'll laugh. ( challenging them both despite syl being silent even in her spear state.

his smile only holds until noctis produces his weapon—not from mist but from crystals. they splinter out from a central point, refracting light and casting small spots of colour all around. once they remain suspended for a short time, they disappear as kaladin's mist had.

noctis doesn't have a nahel bond. he would've told him if he had a spren, too. their manifestations, however, are similar despite this. perhaps their worlds are closer than he originally thought. )

She can't feel it, Noctis. She can sense our actions, even watch and warn me of incoming attacks, but nothing you do will hurt her. ( and he'll remember noctis asked.

to start them off, kaladin slides into a ready stance, spear held defensively in a sure grip. )

I'm interested in your weapon. And your ability to summon it. Where does that come from? Is it energy?

[ The sword feels heavy in his hand as he rolls his wrist and tests how it feels cutting through the air. Not an unused weapon but an untested one, denser than the engine blade he's far more accustomed to. Using one of his new Royal Arms – and for a sparring match, no less – would normally be last on his list, but this place hasn't provided many other options. ]

Good. 'Cause I don't want something like that holding me back.

[ He adopts no such similar stance, blade instead flipped from a forward grip to a backhanded grip as he steps forward to slowly circle him, eyes focused but body flexible. ]

You wanna' talk, or fight? 'Cause we can earn more answers from each other.

Only thing I wanna' know now is if you're ready.

( rooted to the spot, he watches noctis revolve around him. he's limbered up since kaladin found him sleeping not half an hour ago, and his language has changed just as surely as his posture. )

You're confident, ( he observes, using words noctis has undoubtedly heard before.

unlike gladiolus amicitia, however, kaladin doesn't follow it up with an accusation that that same confidence will get noctis into trouble. or that he hasn't earned the right to challenge him so flippantly, but that it's still preferable to his earlier "whining." that it's more befitting for a king to act boldly and decisively if there's talent to back it up. empty goading to provoke a reaction. )

Good. Show me the best you've got, Noctis, and I'll shut up for as long as you want.

( no, kaladin smiles, then gets serious.

widening his stance cuts him down by a few inches, the bend in his knees preparatory, and there's a shift he performs with the sylspear: she's spun, her shaft's end coming up to rest in the pit of his arm while her middle lays along his forearm and wrist. a loose hold, but one with trained intent. )

Come.

Is that a promise?

[ Noctis has had less training with spears but it'd be a mistake to assume he's had none. Kaladin adopts a position he's seen his wiser and more cautious teachers use, one a tiny child often needed to rely on just to keep from becoming immediately disarmed but that a more reckless and far stronger youth rarely took advantage of. Kaladin knows what he's doing.

Was there ever any doubt?

It's hardly the same young man as the one languishing in bed before that now observes Kaladin, lips twisting into an upward curve that betrays his excitement before he suddenly lunges forward, sword drawn up in an underhanded sweep towards Kaladin's midsection on his unguarded side. ]

( noctis strikes with furious intent, but kaladin can't see the advancement as anything more than playful. they aren't here to hurt each other; would passersby believe that when they're using real weapons?

he's been blocked from side-stepping this one, because if he did, the sword would follow. he's being guided into a test of strength, which kaladin meets by lifting the spear tip into an upward arc with his palm. with his opposite hand, briefly exposing more of his midsection, he catches his spear shaft and comes down hard from overhead to shove the sword down and backward.

their clash doesn't produce sparks, for syl isn't made of the right stuff to produce any; however, the remaining motes of crystal and mist from their summonings are a satisfying stand-in. )

Don't you dare have fun, ( kaladin grins, shoving the back of the shaft forward in a defensive blow intended to knock noctis back into spearhead range. )

Edited 2025-03-02 13:42 (UTC)

[ Kaladin's strong, but that's no surprise. What is more surprising is his speed and reaction time, even now when they're both playing and testing the waters with one another. It gives him confidence and hope that he won't be spending the majority of this spar holding back in a clash of weapons against someone far less talented, an uncharitable thought he keeps to himself. He might be shy and full of self-doubt, but ego's always been accessible where his special interests are concerned... and fighting is certainly that. ]

Who the hell is having fun? You better wipe that grin off your face before I do it for you– [ Never mind that he's wearing a matching expression, one which refuses to be worn down as they trade blow for blow. Even tasting the butt of that spear in a jab at his side or being forced into aerial flips which strain a smaller body not just to dodge but even to strike at a much larger opponent doesn't change that.

Within minutes that grin has shifted but only into something more open, lips parted for hard breaths and forehead glistening with sweat as they break to again circle one another. ]

You know... you're not actually that bad after all...

SEMI-OPEN / WITH BLOODSHED AND BARE HANDS

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