DOWNTIME MINGLE #7

[synfluxmods]

DOWNTIME MINGLE #7

CONTENT WARNINGS: suggestive topics

▶ 001. WINNER'S CIRCLE.

Although the base has been destroyed, not all hope is lost. Many still view the defeat of the recent kaiju as a significant win, especially knowing how much more powerful it became. Considering the ominous timing of the rift as well, it seems like LILITH predicts everyone is a bit on edge, and as a result, when they come into the main hall that day they will see that it is actually decorated quite nicely. While it’s not a professional venue by any means, it certainly does have its own charms. It’s a step up from the usual pizza party, at least.


There will be plenty of fresh food prepared for everyone, and not a single questionable meat in sight. It’s either they’ve upped their lab meat game, or they’ve managed some success in their endeavors on duplicating some of the food processes from Transylvania. The one thing that hasn’t changed, however, is the bulletin board in which they’ve posted—

GOOD JOB:
MACARONS (K.O.)
GOJIRA (K.O.)
RUBBER DUCKY & QUEENOFKUR (600)
POKER & BAD DADDY (678)

While no one can say where these trends and rumors begin, maybe it’s only natural that people’s eyes are drawn to those they consider strong. Or is it that everyone else is YOWAI weak in comparison? Whatever the catchphrases are, it seems the new thing on the streets of Neo Tokyo is the emerging trend of people either wearing sunglasses or blindfolds.

It seems to be some sort of fashion statement, but it may be doing more harm than good. The blindfolds are often tech visors that citizens wear to amplify the screens they see directly from their retinas, but it doesn’t mean that’s always the case. Some people even consider it a personal form of training for them to live and breathe with blindfolds on. Unsurprisingly, hoverboard accidents have increased by 24% and the city is looking for ways to address this new craze.

There’s a yearly event that’s rolled back into town and somehow they have their new mascot, MISTER ZILLA. It’s in the form of a certified cute and extra cuddly looking kaiju that is strikingly similar to one that people may see on base day-to-day. But that has to be a coincidence, right? Maybe it’s just one more thing that’s been released by a particularly loose-lipped researcher who's been pulling one too many all-nighters.

Maybe people in attendance will end up seeing him a lot more. He’s also given out in the form of a keychain to all attendees. Perhaps he will give GIBUBU a run for their money?

Speaking of kaiju and research, a very popular brand called CHALK-MATE has hit the shelves. Supposedly it’s a food shaped like a stick of chalk that once eaten increases one's overall ability to concentrate; it even claims to make people read a little faster. … Is that a myth? There’s only one way to find out what this little treat actually does.

The only thing is that it definitely tastes a bit like chalk, too. Oddly enough, the flavors come in just “DOCTOR” and “PHD.”

CHALK-MATE, however, seems like it’s especially popular amongst avid readers. Particularly of the romance genre, also known as NOVELTOK. The fans on these platforms have been especially into a new series based on a Goddess of Death who is in constant search of love, only to be met with horrible romanceable options that leaves every reader both salivating and scratching their head. Supposedly, it’s not a book appropriate for children…

A new alcoholic drink, GLITTER, has gotten popular in Neo Tokyo’s nightlife scene. The drink’s iridescent shades of purple, blue, and green have made it a hit despite its high price tag and the condition that needs to be met in order to request one: customers must first play a game of dice with the bartender. Should the customer roll a higher number than the bartender, they will take the order and make the drink; if they roll less than the bartender, they must forfeit the cost of the drink and pay the next seven rounds of drinks, even for people who aren’t in their party. High risks begets high rewards, as they say.

▶ 002. BASE-LESS EXPECTATIONS.

Fortunately, with the success of the last battle with the Imugi and Gigakame, many companies have come forth in support of a few rebuild projects. They state they are very interested in providing funding, granted, it’s not without placing their names down as part of the construction efforts. They’re especially interested in getting some sway down in Kyoto, as that would be a new place for them to not only pitch their businesses and potentially attract those pockets of civilization out there that they haven’t been able to connect with, but it’s a good cause as any in theory, right? We don’t talk about all that free real estate, either.

As such, Outsiders are being encouraged to submit their proposals on how to build up on the city of Kyoto and what attractions would lure the citizens to take on the city. While safety protocols are naturally being put into place, as with any new build, they are also open to any additional ideas to secure the perimeter, as well as to make this a more colorful and unique place amongst the wreckage that sweeps the abandoned areas outside the immediate cities.

The only thing is… bureaucracy strikes again. The forms must be filled out in a specific fashion, and Outsiders will be expected to go through a similar trial like when gaining clearance to travel. They will be required to sign documents, and even rushed to the temporary “city hall” in order to drop it off on the dot. They may even expect some people to warp back to Tokyo just to submit a page or two of a signed waiver.

With city plans still emerging, there are positions open for Outsiders to apply and run as local government. While the government of Neo Tokyo have already designated a mayor for the city, there are positions open for people to be in charge of other areas such as healthcare, food, energy, culture, justice, treasury, and infrastructure. LILITH is placing no restrictions on Outsiders who want to contribute their time and expertise to the new city as long as they continue to carry out their missions to defeat the kaiju. Those who wish to apply are free to do so at city hall, but they will need to rally votes and support from civilians and other Outsiders alike to be elected.

Speaking of trouble and real estate, while a lot of vacant land is available, Outsiders have been summoned to confirm all the plots of lands are free of kaiju before any real scoping can be done. Outsiders will be tasked to go out and survey the areas and stave off any large or mutated creatures that may exist in the expanse of wilderness that borders the area around Kyoto. For anyone interested in assisting with the scoping efforts, they will be encouraged to travel in pairs. The permanent rift that’s opened in Tokyo has been making many strange waves all across the country. Kaiju have been acting far more erratically, almost as if they can feel the pulses from this rift, regardless of the distance. Or perhaps, it’s all connected somehow? LILITH researchers think it’s better to remain on-guard because of this, especially when traveling through uncharted territory.

Outsiders are also welcome to explore the region. They will find several old temples that may appear dilapidated, but very much recognizable all the same. Such as the Todai-ji Daibutsuden in the neighboring Nara, or even closer sights like the string of tori that line the Fushimi Inari Shrine. There is even a setting in the oculars in which a general tour guide audio can be heard. However, Synthia is still on the fritz and there is no telling what she says is completely accurate. She also can’t control her language functions, volumes, or the fact that she may also be linking random people’s calls and text messages to one another.

There’s no way that negatively impacts any travel plans, right?

(Note: Please fill out the thread below and submit ideas for buildings and businesses in Kyoto! If players wish to have their characters take a role in managing the city, you are free to coordinate this with other players with the same goals for their characters (or handwave it if your character will be taking a smaller role). Mods will not be choosing any characters officially. )

▶ 003. KAIJUCON.

This is the yearly event everyone has been looking forward to— KAIJUCON is here. This event not only acts as a large research symposium for those who work in kaiju-related research fields, it’s also a place where the most enthusiastic members of the kaiju community come together to share their mutual fascination with the creatures. The event makes it clear that this is in no way meant in any support of the kaiju or the devastation that’s hit humanity, but of coming to be a better understanding of them. Or that was its original purpose.

Now it’s become a larger, more commercialized event where vendors from all over come to pitch their safety gear, offer classes in case of a city-wide emergency, and even have several large and popular exhibitions for kaiju. As much as people may fear kaiju, it seems that kaiju themselves as a concept have been popular for decades before even the first rift opened.

As a result, there are sections of KAIJUCON for the most… zealous kaiju researchers in which they can enter virtual reality scapes and pretend to be kaiju. This form of live action roleplaying has become wildly popular in the city, and has become a hobby to relieve stress for some.

On the flip side, it seems this also has opened up a whole group of people who come up with their own KAIJUSONAS and who attend the event dressed up as their idealized version of kaiju. Fortunately, as LILITH does have its fair share of research and information to trade, it’s the perfect opportunity to grab additional funds to fix up the areas of the base … and of course, how could they not ask the Outsiders to join in?

Instead of the usual team building exercises, they will be expected to help at various booths at KAIJUCON. Whether these are panels in which they teach and share all the intimate details of kaiju anatomy, or where they join in the highly coveted title of BEST KAIJUSONA.

As Outsiders within LILITH, all characters will be approached to speak at panels. Characters previously deemed as HEAVY HITTERS or characters who have dealt a K.O. to a kaiju will be particularly popular at the convention, with fans flocking to them with requests for pictures and autographs. While at panels, a Q&A session will often be held, and Outsiders may have to deal with questions ranging from sensible to ... uncomfortable.

Once their shift is over, they’re more than welcome to take a look around!

(Note: You are all free to presume everything you’d expect at a convention to be there! Including, but not limited to, merchandise, snack carts, panels, and more! Outsiders with inhuman forms do not need to wear their cloaking devices. As a note, Outsiders are public figures known by their alter egos/usernames. However, the fact that they are from a different dimension remains classified information to the public. )

▶ 004. CROSSED WIRES.

While rebuilding of both the Tokyo Base and Kyoto are coming along, certain other departments seem to be struggling. SYNTHIA in particular is still broken, and try as the LILITH engineers might, repairs are slow going.

While SYNTHIA is down, there are all sorts of communication errors:

- Messages being sent to the wrong recipient, or to the base at large
- Thoughts transcribing themselves as texts and being sent without approval
- Text messages glitching during the sending process and sending as illegible symbols and strings of letters
- Text messages never sending, or sending dozens of times repeatedly
- SYNTHIA generating inaccurate information about Outsiders and sending them during the numerous reboot processes (think Google AI summaries)
- Blocked users suddenly becoming unblocked, and best of friends suddenly blocking each other

If asked, researchers will apologize for the errors and suggest that Outsiders meet in person to discuss any important topics. There's no better way to grow relationships than to spend time in person after all, right? Towards the end of the month, the errors will slow until they are finally fixed.

(Note: Feel free to use this as a general text glitch event in either your top levels for this event or in inboxes and individual player logs! We've listed out some suggestions of what characters might experience but feel free to come up with your own fun ideas as long as they aren't gamebreaking.)

▶ 005. AFTERWORD.

Welcome to our fourth downtime mingle!

As stated in the prompt itself, players are welcome to suggest buildings and business to be found in Kyoto by replying to the header below. Please submit all suggestions by March 31.

The texting glitches will last to the end of the month, at which point SYNTHIA will be repaired and all systems will go back to normal.

All tags on this log are worth 2 points.

EVENT BREAKDOWN/RECAP (CLICK TO EXPAND)

1. WINNER'S CIRCLE: The heavy hitters/KO winners of the last kaiju fight receive their sponsorships, including cute plushies, stylish sunglasses and blindfolds, and edible chalk enhancements among other things.

2. BASE-LESS ACCUSATIONS: ICly, Outsiders are tasked with assisting in rebuilding projects across Kyoto, which include scoping out land, suggesting what new businesses and buildings to construct, and general exploration. OOCly, players are welcome to suggest new businesses and buildings to add to the Kyoto area.

3. KAIJUCON: The annual convention centered around kaiju-related research and inventions. Outsiders can find all sorts of kaiju-related merchandise and gear for sale, as well dress up and meet other kaiju enthusiasts.

4. CROSSED WIRES: With SYNTHIA still broken, communications within LILITH are breaking down. Outsiders will experience a string of troubles when trying to message others. This will be fixed by the end of the month.

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Comments

[blastedass]

why the hell were you worried in the first place?

didn't trust me?

[nutkick]

don’t say it like that, katsuki. it’s not about trust.

it started when i watched this movie about a high schooler hooking up with a collage student …

[ of course it was a damn movie. ]

[blastedass]

you know movies aren't based on real life, ripcord pecs.

[nutkick]

lots of movies are based on real life.

… are you saying this doesn’t happen at all? the hooking up?

[blastedass]

i'm saying you shouldn't watch a fucking movie and then plaster it on OUR lives like an example.

[nutkick]

you are kinda asking for too much with this one …
where else im gonna learn about relationships?

[blastedass]

watching other people, asking your friends, reading relationships books.

[nutkick]

[ he ain’t reading shit. ]

im not asking my friends how to get you all flustered.
it’s none of their business.

[blastedass]

[he asked how!]

this isn't about flustered.

this is about you thinking i would've fucking dumped you just cause of some dumb thing like age.

[it irritates him denji thought some fucking stranger in a movie was possibly emulating how katsuki was going to treat him.]

[nutkick]

[ aah, katsuki is upset for real here. ugh. he feels bad now. ]

im sorry …
it was never my intention to upset you.

i trust you. i really do.
i will be more careful next time.

[blastedass]

[not too upset, but still feeling a little peeved about it. it's not like he doesn't understand what denji's asking but... seriously? two years? that's enough to make him wonder if katsuki's gonna dump him!?]

i don't want you to be careful.

if you don't trust me about something, tell me, so i can show you how stupid it was not to.

i'll crush any and every doubt any time it rears its ugly head!

[nutkick]

[ i mean, is it surprising? this guy had a series of shitty consequences in his life, one after another, and it hits harder whenever he's happy with something. even when he knows bakugou genuinely cares for him, there is no doubt about that, but after dealing with so many twists and turns, it is hard to walk into anything with blind confidence. he will have those days. at times he will be too tired to push those thoughts. even if they will get triggered by a dumb movie about a girl hooking up with an older hot dude. despite that all, despite how damaged he is, despite that voice reminding him every single day he doesn't deserve any of this — denji still fights to be happy. he's not into this relationship for shallow reasons; he honestly loves this boy. he might be skipping a lot of steps ahead, diving straight into things, without addressing his bleeding wounds— but he's trying.

nghhh, again with the 'you don't trust me'. this kinda hurts. ]

yeah, i will tell you.
it was just a thought. didn't get stuck in my head for too long. i didn't think it was a big deal, and i kinda knew already you didn't either ...

[blastedass]

[it's because denji fights that bakugou cracks his knuckles and bears down each time the other boy comes up with another doubt. what kind of boyfriend would he be if he allowed the guy he loves to wallow in uncertainty? dammit, he'll destroy every doubt anytime they show up! might piss him off, but his anger's one more evidence of how much he cares.

(akin to what koda's mom told her son, "become a man who gets angry when someone laughs at those you care about.")

in bakugou's case, it's denji's doubt. he knows there'll be times, when denji can't bring himself to trust him. examples from his past, scars from his history, chains he can't break his boyfriend free of. what he can do is prove to denji, over and over again, he doesn't have to doubt him.]

just don't walk into a fucking time portal and come out a 80-year old man.

then you'd be my grandfather.

[nutkick]

[ he smiles a bit, even when it's somewhat bittersweet. he knows bakugou cares, and he appreciates it, but he still feels like shit over this. he didn't want to spread any doubts out in the open, or even humor them in the first place, more content to hush them out on his own. he's done fine so far by masking them (he thinks?), but today was a slip. how the hell did he think that was an acceptable question to drop?

ugh. he will shake it off. gotta go out and clear his head. ]

if it makes you feel any better, i don't think i would ever grow too old.

[ the whip devil hybrid? is an 81 years old who kept the youthful glow. devils do care about appearance (the same way yoru was pissed when the aging devil ruined her beautiful face). surely, pochita wouldn't want to run around with an 80-year-old body ... those knees won't survive a single fight. ]

but, fine.
i'll try to learn about relationships from somewhere else.

[blastedass]

[conversely, bakugou doesn't want denji to deal with his doubts on his own. because denji sucks at doing so. talking to himself, providing his own evidence, all he does is push the issue back into the closet for another day, while it sits inside and whispers at him. compared to airing said doubt and having someone else of their own volition crush it to pieces. maybe it'll go back to the closet and rebuild itself for another run, but this time, denji won't have only his own thoughts to shield against it.

you can convince yourself of something, but it feels so much better, and stronger, if someone else agrees with and shares your conviction. bakugou scoffs at denji's send back, amused over the idea. hopefully neither of them will have to deal with either growing ancient all of a sudden.]

guess you'll be the one dealing with my aging then.

[though considering all might was still running around at 55+ and star and stripe was peaking even at 42+, to say nothing of grand torino still a capable hero well past 60, heroes aren't going down to age either.]

i love you, but i don't want to be your only source of relationship advice.

i wasn't even considering one a year ago.

[his way of admitting he's not an expert... and he's leaning just like denji.]

[nutkick]

[ for someone who hadn't the opportunity to learn any other coping mechanism outside of repressing it due to his upbringing, lack of parental figures, education, and healthy connections, and being so damn alone — yeah, he sucks at it. and while he can't stop those thoughts, denji knows they are ugly and hurtful. not only to himself but to anyone who gives a shit about him. if there were a way to express them without fucking everything up, he would. he's open to suggestions. the half-devil will follow all the steps without any shame if it helps him communicate better. ]

if i depended solely on your relationship advice, i would've stopped buying you flowers ages ago.

[ a lighthearted jab, but he knows what bakugou means. ]

i appreciate it. i really do.
i know you want to help.

[ there is no 'but', denji won't push away his boyfriend's effort to reach out to him; instead, he will take his hand. he has no idea how to do this, but he owes it to him to at least try. ]

some days are really bad.
i don't want you to see me like that.
but, i promise i'll stop hiding.

[blastedass]

[bakugou knows about repressing and stuffing down feelings. he prefers to deal with his struggles on his own, burdening no one with them and earning his own self-reliant pride for overcoming his trials all by himself. but there are times when even he's not strong enough to handle it alone. and bakugou came from a strong background, with family and friends and plenty of healthy influences that unfortunately led to, well, this dumpster on fire. what denji's struggling through, he can't fix or even stop. so he's ready to handle it whenever those pains arrive.]

ha ha, you're hilarious.

[and true. denji's right not to listen to his grumpy unromantic view of romance. he secretly appreciates it.]

whenever you have bad days, let me know.
you're not alone anymore, denji.
if i can't accept you at your worst,
i don't deserve you at your best.

[he's a hypocrite saying that, and he knows it, but...]

[nutkick]

[ even when he wants to, this is really hard. really hard. where to begin? a lot has happened. denji can't even brain how to do this. ugh, he promised his boyfriend to try. he will just have to figure it out along the way.

okay, but bakugou is killing him softly right now. this might be his first time seeing the hero be more assertive with him, and denji found himself toying with his fingers nervously. ] you gonna make me cry.

[ not in a bad way. this is new, though. actions over words - that's the base of their relationship from the start, but with nothing to distract them from their thoughts, everything is suddenly more vulnerable. whether bakugou is being a hypocrite or not, denji doesn't care. he knew there were no lies behind his confessions, and that's all that matters. ]

you can talk to me, too.
i know we have our separate friends, and maybe sometimes you feel more comfortable opening up to them, and that's fine.

but ... i'm here.

[blastedass]

[he'd like to kill his doubts and self-loathing, not denji. but even with all his strength, bakugou's aware that's a pipe dream. he'll be slaughtering those things for as long as they're here. and in that case... crack his knuckles and bring it on.]

you're such a sap.

[don't cry on him, dammit! momentarily stuck between wondering if denji's feeling touched or sad. he said some blunt things to him right now.

and then he gets smacked with something else and it's bakugou who's rubbing the side of his head, tongue clicking in a bit of embarrassment and frustration.]

i don't... like you seeing me when i'm weak.
and you've been through so much worse than i have.

[yes, those are excuses, but he feels guilty burdening denji with things like that. as much as he loves the other boy, can either of them really relate to some of the most important aspects of each other's lives? hero, student, well off, poor, orphan, family, homeless, security. it's a shallow excuse and frustrating, but...]

you think so much of me, i don't want to let you down.

[there are others he's comfortable opening up to, but denji's someone he never wants to see him and think 'he can't' about anything. even now, those thoughts hit him as mean. as if denji's the weak one who can't handle bakugou at his low points.]

[nutkick]

[ the answer is: touched and sad, two overwhelming emotions. he wasn't so serious about his declaration, but denji is about to shed some actual tears right now. because — this hurts. his boyfriend thinks he's so miserable that he's not allowed to have a bad day around him. he's unable to comfort him or take care of him because he thinks denji can't handle it.

it was always an ugly thought in his mind, but it is now coming out as their reality. he takes a few minutes before replying. ]

i'll never see you as weak. no matter what.
i just hope you believe me when i say that.

[ there is a lot on his mind, too many thoughts, too many assumptions, struggling between getting upset or understanding. they've been together for a while now- ... he knows bakugou enough not to be too offended by it, and he loves him too much to allow it to simmer in his heart for too long. ]

i know i've been through a lot, but that doesn't mean your frustrations are less important.
like i said, it's fine to talk to a friend, but if that friend is the one comforting you all the time, holding you, and reassuring you ...
it's kinda sad that i can't be that person for you.

[blastedass]

[does it offer any balm to know they're discussing this now? something bakugou would normally want to wrangle on his own rather than hurt denji with. and yet, he pushes himself forward for the very same reason. admitting those thoughts clenches his chest, slapping him in the face with how unfair a sleight it is.

miserable? ... maybe. somewhere in his mind, bakugou began to chafe beneath his boyfriend's repeated life traumas. at the very start, he determined to never be someone who brought denji pain, to never be someone who abandoned or betrayed him, to do everything he could to avoid becoming another named failure lying behind denji's ongoing bloody path.

it ended up crystalizing into this desire. to always be strong, reliable, brave, comforting, so denji never had to suffer or hurt if bakugou was with him. he never wanted to be a struggle or a burden the half-devil had to contend with. yeah, to never be a bad day in denji's life. it's not that he doesn't think denji can handle it... it's that he never wanted him to. to take on the ugly burden of comforting him or trying to wrangle him from dark thoughts and emotional struggles.

as if that would somehow add more to the half-devil's own miserable life. an unfair assumption and fault he unconsciously laid on his boyfriend's shoulders. and only now seeing it.]

i do.
but i'm not as strong or as perfect as you think i am.
i just
never wanted you to see that.

[he's going to have a lot to think about in the immediate future, things to evaluate and consider, how he's treating denji. he knows his boyfriend's strong, and he's made it through so much. but bakugou has to be willing to trust that, rather than simply acknowledge it. the road paved with good intentions...]

you've comforted me a lot as well, denji.
you were there for me in seoul. in vegas. when i came back from my world.
but...
yeah, i need to be more open with you as well.
because you're strong enough to handle me at my worst.

[he's going to have to apologize to denji when they're in person. doing so over the ocular feels cheap.]

[nutkick]

[ again, it was so easy to take this the wrong way, to see himself as a burden to bakugou instead of the hero trying to protect him (in his own way). the first thing that attracted him to that boy was the way he treated him like an equal, in a way he had never experienced before. even aki walked into his life with malice, beating him up in an alley and spitting on him like he was nothing but trash — in contrast, bakugou sat by his side, shared a meal, and -somehow- reassured him he was not alone in this. from day one. from the first fucking encounter. he didn't look down on him.

how can they be equals if they're both hiding shit from one another? yes, both. denji is no saint in this. he can number a few outsiders who heard more about his shitty past over his boyfriend. as much as he'd like to hide behind the excuse of 'he never asked!' — that's not true, is it? the half-devil is also cowering behind an image, and while he's not seeking perfection, he's certainly seeking 'human'.

the rubs at his weary eyes before a tear could slip out ... but it's not bakugou's fault. he just felt so stupid. he knew that boy was more comfortable sharing his fears with others yet made no effort to reach out. he knew he was purposely keeping his past from bakugou and expecting them to have a normal, loving relationship. in the end, the hero is right. the movies offered him nothing but shallow thrills, yet he missed out on what makes a relationship right. he was seeking a quick fix over facing the deeply rooted concerns.

he's so lost on what to do moving ahead. ]

i don't want perfection.
i want you.
... please let me take care of you.

[ with that, he does pull himself together. things are messy; he's a bit shaken by how he should and shouldn't be, but feeling sorry for himself isn't the image of strength bakugou needs. ugh, he's glad they're opening up, yet he hoped it wasn't accompanied by uncertainty. he didn't even know how he would face him later on. fuck. he needs to catch a breather, clear his head, and shake this off. time to get up, grab his jacket, and head out ... ]

i can handle anything as long as you're safe.
i'll prove it to you, okay?
we'll be fine.

[blastedass]

[he never wanted to treat denji as anything but an equal. and yet, caring for someone so much he made a mistake in treating him differently, is a stealthy corruption of his original actions. scared to make denji cry? adverse to pushing his problems on the other boy? loathe to let denji see him at his lowest and risk breaking the half-devil's pristine image of him? yes to all of these and more. bakugou didn't want to be like anyone else in denji's life, but honestly, none of those people fit into one mold. there are good and bad in each experience the half-devil's had with each person, whether friend, foe, or filth.

he can't stay a crystal clear perfect picture in his boyfriend's life. not without blatantly lying, hiding, and refusing him. bakugou doesn't want to know every secret denji has, and denji doesn't need to be the only anchor in bakugou's life for struggling and comfort. but he should know more and be more. the half-devil is his boyfriend. he's always treated denjis' doubts with aggression, vowing to smash any that appear in his mind and prove why they aren't a threat each time. sucks to know he's part of the reason denji has some of those doubts in the first place.

bakugou flops back on the futon and gazes at the ceiling. more cracks to tend to, more hurts to heal, more weaknesses to improve on. guess relationships are a lot like a body. always growing, good and bad. sometimes bakugou ended up being comforted by the few people he permits it from simply because they were there at the moment and denji wasn't. it'd be stupid to come back to their room and dig up those put-to-rest pains so denji could have his turn at it. does that mean he wants denji around when he's struggling? no. instinctively he doesn't want anyone around. but when he does struggle... he should call his boyfriend first.]

all right.

[simple, but a deeper promise. bakugou's not gonna head out or do something. he'll stay in the room and brood for now. going out would risk running into someone and he doesn't want others knowing he and denji are having relationships struggles.]

i never doubted your strength.
but i never wanted to give you a reason you might.

[nutkick]

[ simple but reassuring. bakugou wouldn't say anything he didn't mean, so denji does find some comfort in it. in the end, he honestly, sincerely had no issues if they both had a kind shoulder to lean on. he wouldn't want his boyfriend to go through a hard time on his own, and if a friend happened to be around to help him, denji would want that. it's a selfish request to demand otherwise, and he would never go to that extreme. it's a mere matter of learning, and they didn't need to hide one part of them from the other. they both chose to do it to protect one another, out of care, but they shouldn't live in that fear either.

denji is focusing on himself here. on what he can do to be better. to fix something that he didn't realize he was doing wrong for so long. if he's upset over anything, it's mainly his own misgivings. did he think bakugou had done anything wrong? well, not really. it's hard to explain that odd mix of emotions between being hurt and understanding he had a major part in it. i mean, he did tell him the girl he'd be taking care of was murdered brutally, with her head served in a fucking sushi plate, how would anyone even begin to consider sharing their bad day after that? it just hurts that he unintentionally made the person he loves think his frustration and anxieties are not as important in contrast.

right. fresh air — it helps. denji isn't worried if he runs into someone else. he already had that resting, dull, tired stare to begin with. nothing would warrant a 'are you okay?'. he's good. ]

i know. i trust you.
and if i'm having doubts, it's in how i'm handling things and nothing on you.

i want to be better ...

[ that's the endgame. that's the reason why this conversation might be a bit uncomfortable. if he didn't care, he wouldn't react. but no. denji didn't want to dismiss it anymore. they both had to think about it, yet the half-devil didn't plan to keep their little break last for too long. ]

want some fancy tea?

[ and it's best to do it in person, too. ]

[blastedass]

[bakugou's always been someone who sucked up his pain and struggles. from a four year old boy with no quirk beating up some bullies who picked on his friends, paying no mind to his own scuffs and the tears at the corner of his eyes. never cried, never whimpered, only told those dummies to get out of here because he was strong! only when he got home and in the privacy of his bathroom did he sniffle and tense over the pain. (no worries, mom came in and patched him up.) when he got older, anything possibly indicating his weakness or vulnerability was swiftly thrown into "never show" jail. his love for his boyfriend slipped into the same stream, coupled with denji's own hard life, leading to bakugou doing his damnest not to drop his own problems onto his boyfriend's shoulders or into his lap. now... it's going to be a struggle to try and unlearn such a habit.

maybe denji will meet someone out in the halls who can help him parse through some of the feelings pounding through his head. bakugou's not sure he can do anything for it right now. this is one of those moments where he can promise to do better, but until the next time he can prove it, words are naught but words.]

don't dump it all on yourself.
i have places to grow and improve in "us" as well.
if you feel uncomfortable about something, tell me.
i'd rather talk about it than ignore it.

[because they both want to be better. simple as that. the "us" they have together is worth the effort. because they do care. like any healthy couple, making "them" work despite the thorns under the roses.]

sure. the flower kind?

[the one where a flower "blooms" in the teacup.]