WHO: Yuji Itadori & various ( closed and open prompts ) WHAT: Yuji has Canon Updated. It isn't going well. WHERE: Across the base WHEN: March 21 onwards WARNINGS: Jujutsu Kaisen spoilers up to chapter 248.
[ The day after Yuji's birthday, he seems to disappear from the base.
He's still around - his name and details are still active, he can be messaged, so he's not gone - but his usual presence disappears. He's not in the cafeteria for regular meals, he's not in the training areas, he can't be found in the kitchen. For all intents and purposes, it seems as though he stopped existing in Synflux completely. Even messages sent to him between the 21st and 22nd don't seem to get answered.
If you knock on his door loudly enough, he might appear, but for most people... He's just 'gone'.
Eventually, he seems to drag himself out of whatever disappearing act he'd put on and start to appear in small doses. Breakfast one day, but no other meals - lunch the next. His usual bubbly attitude has been quashed for now, and while he might greet people he recognises with a smile, his heart clearly isn't in it. Something has happened, and it has left him shaken, wounded - hurting.
In the evening, the quiet hours of the day, he's sat outside staring at the stars, a set, determined look on his face. He barely flinches if anyone comes to sit down beside him. The more perceptive of people - especially those who knew him Before - might see he has a handful more scars. ]
[ There's something—different about Yuji these days. Not that Wriothesley would consider himself any sort of expert on the boy, but they've worked alongside each other long enough that he thinkshe's gotten a good enough sense of the boy, a young man full of heart and energy. The boy that walks through the hallways now is....well, not that.
But they're not close enough that he can just up and ask what happened, and so he keeps his distance for a few days until he spots Yuji hunkered down outside and finally decides to head over. ]
Long day?
[ It's not so much a real question as it is a cautious hello, a veiled inquiry as to whether his presence here is allowed or not. ]
[ Yuji doesn't jump when Wriothesley comes and sits beside him; he felt him coming, more in tune with his understanding of people and the prickle of his senses than he might have been before. Turning his head, he deliberately shifts to tuck his hands away, the longer sleeves of his hoodie hiding them from view - an intentional movement, a disguise.
It's painfully obvious how tired he is, exhausted and feeling weak from his new experiences, and he has to force himself to nod his head before he turns back to look at the stars. It's going to take some time for him to back to his bubbly self, isn't it? ]
[ Of the answers he expects that isn't one, and he blinks once in surprise before taking a seat next to Yuji a few feet away. Far enough to give the young man some space but still close enough to hear what's being said.
Also close enough to see the exhaustion still on Yuji's face, another small detail that makes his heart sink further. ]
Huh. Didn't know that was possible.
[ It doesn't sound like it had been planned either, or surely Yuji would have said something about it earlier. The mystery deepens.... ]
I take it you didn't have a good time while you were home?
[ Yuji hadn't imagined he would go home either, but here he sits, the weight of new knowledge baring down on him like an anchor hanging from his fingers. It's been barely any time here - the others had made that clear - but it has been weeks for him, changes in his life that have left him a little shattered.
He's still struggling to keep those pieces together in front of people he knows. ]
Neither did I?
[ Which is why this is so shocking. He had thought he would have to wait to find out what happened, but...
Rubbing his eyes, he looks up at his friend and shakes his head absently. ]
[ Another revelation to squirrel away at the back of his mind for later, one more to add to an ever growing pile. He has a lot of questions for LILITH and their procedures, but somehow the answers he gets when asked are never fully satisfactory. But that's a problem for future him, when he isn't so worried about Yuji.
He's quiet a few moments before he speaks up again. ]
Do you want to talk about it?
[ Yuji may have called him a friend awhile ago, but there's still a sliding scale when it comes to these things and he doesn't want to overstep. ]
[ It doesn't seem as though they're ever going to get all the answers that they want or seek, and Yuji is normally okay with that - he doesn't understand a lot of things even if he gets his answers, so he's willing to accept that. What's harder is knowing that he has so little control over it all, his heart aching a bit too much for him to deal with.
Glancing up, he hesitates for a moment before he shakes his head. ]
[ It's an expected answer, the one normal thing he's heard all evening, and it gets a simple nod of his head in return. ]
Fair enough.
[ Even if the answer only serves to make him worry more, the weight behind those simple words bearing down on his shoulders. Still, he's been through his own fair share of suffering and grief, enough to have gained some consideration for others in the same boat. ]
I hope you can find someone to talk to later though. It's not good to keep everything inside.
I spoke to my brother, and Raidou? So it's not like I'm keeping it all inside...
[ Just a lot of it. Choso knows the most, and Raidou a little more, and Gojo-sensei all of it, seeing as he was there for it all, but Yuji still doesn't look totally comfortable. The idea of sharing his feelings is a discomforting one, and he sighs softly as he rubs his face.
The claws press into his skin, and he looks away, frowning. ]
[ There's a brief flicker of a smile on Wriothesley's face, not from any particular good humor but simple sympathy, and he places on hand on Yuji's shoulder in a brief pat of compassion. ]
You are. Don't let anyone say you aren't.
[ Remembering to eat (even intermittently), talking out some of his troubles with the people closest to him, setting his own boundaries.....those are all signs of his conscientiousness. Different people respond to trauma differently and learn to cope differently. So long as Yuji isn't spiraling into self-destructive behaviors, then he's doing alright.
Though Wriothesley finds his attention caught on something else, his head tipping to one side in curiosity. ]
[ The pat does help, weirdly enough, and Yuji feels himself relaxing just a little bit under the touch. There's something calming about knowing someone is at his side, and he can handle it just that tiny bit more.
He can recover a little more here, and then head back home prepared to take on that fight again. That's how he has to think of this.
The change of topic is good enough for him, though, and the mention of his brother has him perking up just a little bit. ]
Yeah, he arrived recently! He's called Choso? I think he's been spending a lot of time in my room, but he's meant to be in Revelation.
There's not much of an image forming in his head but he does distinctly remember a convoluted discussion on the ocular network a few weeks back. He'd introduced himself as Choso eventually, right>
But just to confirm: ]
Does he go by the username 'curse'?
[ Which is a pretty interesting choice of name, all things considered. ]
[ To be fair, Yuji and Choso are like yin and yang; they're so utterly different in appearance and personality that it's understandable to imagine that they wouldn't be related at all. He's getting used to the idea that he might have to explain to people that they're actually siblings.
[It's not the day that he's gone that Bakugo misses. He doesn't see Yuji every day for one reason or another. But it's the next time he sees him that the hero realizes something happened. His eyes, his attitude, additional scars on his face, and the damn forced empty smile that he's seen on a certain someone's face more times than he wants to count. The walking embodiment of that fucking "I'm fine" that anyone sharp enough or close enough would realize is a shitty cover to mean anything but.
But despite the flare up of defensive anger, Bakugo keeps his distance. Mostly out of respect for Yuji's companions. Whatever happened to him, they would know first and want to talk to him, help him, console him. Megumi, Nobara, Nanami, Choso. Gojo. People from his world. Bakugo has loyalties to people, but in the end, he still considers people from your world, my world, their world, our world. Because he doesn't want to view this place as a permanent home. There's still so much to do back home...
Distance only lasts so long though. Despite his attitude, Bakugo's a hero with a heart. And... Yuji's friend. Seeing him missing meals, his sunshine attitude darkened, his "new" smile... It's uncomfortable for the few days it goes on. So this night, he goes to him, though has to search from the empty dorm room to finally locate Yuji outside.
Shoes on the grass, a quiet approach with his hands in his pockets, before Bakugo takes a seat next to the sorcerer. Spring still brings a chill in the air at night, the darkening purple sky above still reaching for pink towards the horizon and that fiery glow of red orange left behind by the setting sun.
Silent as he watches the skyline... before finally reaching to the side and offering his hand to the other boy to take if he wants.]
[ Yuji hadn't thought to seek out Bakugo, because it hadn't registered in his mind to sink into this particular friend with all the strange new grief he's feeling.
Bakugo is the kind of person he spends time with for fun, for sparring, for sharp words but soft moments, a tenderness that's bled between them because they understand one another. Yuji hadn't thought to burden him with this, because it didn't feel right to, not because their bond wasn't secure, but because it didn't seem fair. Why should Bakugo have to suffer just because he had? Why did his friends have to be dragged down to his level?
Feeling the other boy come and sit beside him, though, softens him just a little, the edges of his sharp pain sandpapered away. He could've been wrong, could've been too deep in his own shallow hurt, so stupid with it, but his friend is here all the same. He has no idea how he was lucky enough to earn this, how he got so lucky that he has friends who want to take care of him and help him - at his own pace.
That's a morbid relief.
Bakugo offers his hand, and Yuji hesitates, if only because his fingers are misshapen now, pinker, with claws on the end. Not human; different, Sukuna gone but something in its place. Choking back his tears, he wraps his fingers around Bakugo's and squeezes gently, letting himself take that comfort, to let himself have this moment even if, in the future, he might feel guilty for it. ]
[Because they're friends. This isn't dragging anyone down to a level that's too low for them. Bakugo remembers Midoriya out in the rain, tired, hurt, running on fumes, and still so damn determined to shoulder everything on his own. Because his friends couldn't keep up with him, because he had to keep them at arm's length lest he drag them down with him, because only he deserved this pain. Every single one of those 19 students, his classmates, his friends, came to get him that day because of a simple fact:
We're your friends.
Grief. Pain. Burden. Destiny. Future. Villain. Hero. Hope. Hunger. Rest. Victory. Defeat. And so many more words that they were willing to take on along side Midoriya to make sure he could walk the path he chose. A path similar to Yuji's. Bakugo himself told his childhood friend that his path wasn't wrong. Only the belief that he had to walk it alone. He doesn't know the details of Yuji's path, what's knocked him down and torn him up, but he knows the sorcerer's on the right path. Just that he need not do it all by himself.
A concept Bakugo's not the greatest at following himself... but he's improving.
As those misshapen fingers curl around his own, claws touching his skin, inhuman and different, Bakugo closes his hand around Yuji's in a warm, secure grip. It's not dragging down; it's reaching out and holding on. Of course he wants to know, of course he wants to beat the ever-living shit out of the shadows plaguing Yuji's life and mind and heart. But that's Yuji's call. What he can do is be here for him, whenever and however he needs.]
Hey, Gari Head. [A while. Yeah, a few days, but that's... not what happened, is it.] I'm glad to see you.
[ It's still a difficult thing for Yuji to grasp, that other people might feel the way about him that he does for them; he has been so conditioned to expect his own death that he doesn't consider those kinds of consequences. It bears down on him now, making him realise his own importance in a way that he never had before: he means something to these people. The way he wants to fight for them and protect them is the same that they want to do for him.
It's a heavy weight to carry, but it could be a weight that he can share out a little now.
Bakugo is an anchor, suddenly, in a way that his own hurt hadn't been - that had been dragging him down, weighing him, whereas this is something that helps him to stabilise and feel strong again. His eyes close for a moment as he breathes in and out, tries to stop himself from crying again, the exhaustion too real: he feels as if he's cried his own weight in tears so far. Isn't that enough? It has to be enough. He has to stop now, even if his entire body aches every time he moves.
It's not as if he's going to be broken for long; he has the strength to push himself forward and use this to help him be stronger, rather than weaker, a part of him wishes that he didn't have to. That, for once, the pain could have an end point rather than starting a new chapter. He wants to stop going through all of this - and he hopes, that once he saves Megumi, that it'll all be over. That he'll finally have some kind of peace, whatever form that takes.
Carefully, he squeezes Bakugo's hand, breathing in and out for a moment before he finds his words. ]
Me too. I'm glad you're still here.
[ He sinks a little against his friend, leaning against him. ]
[Bakugo had grown out of caring what other people thought of him and that he might care about other people. Everyone was beneath him, a stepping stone, something to either dismiss or conquer on his road to greatness. But that was a year ago. Before he came into a class where people weren't afraid of him, didn't sing him praises, challenged him, called him out, and treated him as "one of them" rather than the greatest. And you know... he actually started to give a shit about them after a while.
Just wouldn't say it because that's awkward and Bakugo doesn't want to acknowledge he's not some heartless badass strongest there is who needs no one. Turns out, he's a kid just like all the others, and friends aren't... horrible.
Yuji's never been someone who held him back or interfered with his goals. Having come from a world where everything was wrapped up in the ravages of war and a society imploding on itself, the guy came across as a reminder of just how strong someone can be, needs to be, in order to handle the bad and still shine bright. A hero. Even now, Bakugo can tell he's collecting himself, trying to keep those pieces from falling apart all over again. While he's not going to tell Yuji not to cry if he needs to... he's not going to encourage him to break down again either.
It's a good thing Yuji doesn't voice that internal thought. Bakugo would've given him a blunt "bullshit" defense. It's human to want the pain to end. He's seen heroes give up against adversity and vanish into the shadows. He despises those cowards even if he understands why they'd make such a stupid choice. From what he's seen of Yuji, "give up" doesn't seem a selectable option in his choice of actions. And Bakugo resonates with that 100%. He can't push that button for Yuji anymore than Yuji can push it for him, but he can watch him, stand by his side and be ready to go for when he does inevitably make the selection.
The squeeze gets another repeated motion, fingertips pressing against the back of his hand, no flinching at the claws or different texture along the back of the new arm(s).]
Hmph. I'm not going back without seeing you off, idiot. [Bakugo will be there making sure everyone else gets through the whatever back to their own homes before he goes back to his own. Like a big stubborn hero. There's a small bump as Yuji leans against him, but he doesn't resist it, letting him rest. A permission few people here have ever gotten.]
Urusei. They're fine. One of my classmate's Quirk allows him to harden every part of his body. [Kirishima can end up looking like a monstrous oni when fully hardened. And he'll get even stronger with it as time goes on.] He turns his hands into claws all the time.
[ Yuji remembers when he had first met Bakugo, how weird and strange he'd thought the other guy was - this loudmouth who wanted to scream and shout and argue, who seemed to use his temper instead of the better parts of him in conversations. Their stupid game at the Everlight sleepover, fighting together, spending time together between their missions... The way this guy had grown on him and become someone important to him in such a short time...
That's not unusual for Yuji; the way that he adopts people into his heart because he knows he might not have long with them, the knowledge of his own pending death warring with the world they've found themselves in as Jujutsu Sorcerers. This place was meant to be different, but if LILITH is going to send them home for brief sparks of time and then drag them back, it means he has to cling to these people as desperately as he can. Their time here is fragile, tenuous, and the idea of losing more people he cares about makes him ache.
Giving in to the urge to be sad when he has people he cares about and wants to support here is still tricky, but he's getting better at it. More people are drawing him out of his shell, getting him to admit to things, forcing him to face his own inner demons - almost literally now - and it means that he can breathe for the first time in what feels like months. Some of that weight is lifting, and he's allowed to want that, and it's okay.
Shaking his head, he closes his eyes, letting himself borrow some of Bakugo's strength. ]
Gonna be the last one here, huh? At least I'll get to give you a proper goodbye. [ Yuji doesn't want to go back without saying his farewells, not to the people who he cherishes most. It's happened once: he'll fight harder next time.
His hands flex, briefly, and he sighs a soft noise. ]
Aah, so you're used to it? I can't turn these off, though, so we're just stuck with it now.
[Conversely, Bakugo found Yuji annoying as heck when he first met him. That eternal cheerfulness, a jaw that wouldn't shut up, monstrous strength, and more brawn than brains by 90%. Someone he would've dismissed as too bothersome a person to deal with. But there had been one snag... His heart. It was impossible to deny Yuji was a good guy. The more he spent time with him, the more he realized just how much of a hero the sorcerer was. Despite everything that happened in his life... he persevered.
A year can do a lot to people. Bakugo usually tries to keep people out, finding the idea of friendships and close relationships nothing more than a distraction to his focuses and annoyances when they show up. Too bad he's human. Some people eventually wheedle themselves in by dancing around the prickly parts. And some people just smash through without giving him a chance to blink. Bakugo never intended to get close to the people here; this wasn't his world, wasn't his problem, wasn't his companions. But trying to survive with others in similar situations forges things... things he knows won't be easy to lose when the time comes.
He'll be resolute when it does, knowing there are other lives to save and things to do back home. Bakugo might be the one telling everyone else to get their asses through the whatever, but... part of him won't want to say goodbye. Maybe he'll remember them. Perhaps they'll meet again. He doesn't know. But what he does know is that they'll be going home. That they survived this place safely. And that's the important part for him. Even if some of them managed to pry open his shell and nestle into his hot heart.
As Yuji relaxes some, Bakugo silently admits he's not going to have an easy time saying farewell to him. But they both made a promise not to die on each other. Here or home. It'd better keep. Even across dimensions.]
You better. I'll find a way into your world and blast you through the wall if you don't. [However that's possible. He'll find a way! These assholes did it! Because he's going to survive, he's going to win against All for One, and he's not going to break that promise.
Bakugo looks down at Yuji's hand, thumb running over a knuckle and pressing on it a bit, just to test.] Na-!? Oy, it's not like he's running around holding my hand in Hard Mode!
[Grumpy, defensive (embarrassed) comment. Though Kirishima is certainly the kind of guy who would love hand holding, even with Hardening active.]
[ It should be strange, that Bakugo's nature - the quick to anger, bristling temper, soothed only by the moment of Yuji being in pain and hurt - eases some of the discomfort that Yuji is feeling. It makes things feel a little more normal after everything that he's been through. He had disappeared for months and woken up as if nothing had changed, and for other people it hadn't - it had just been one night. It's good, that no one else is suffering any after effects.
He's glad, that this can be a place of happiness for them rather than a place of pain and hurt. He can admit that what he has found here (the friendship, the companionship, the return of the people he loved most in the world back at his side) is better than what he had left behind. The truth is, of course, that he will have to go back eventually; he'll have to return to save what little he has left. Maybe then LILITH will let him awaken here and live out a new life as whatever kind of hero these Outsiders were meant to be.
Yuji might be ready to die, to play his part in this story, to sacrifice himself to save the others, but he finds a quiet part of himself doesn't want that any more. He has more to live for, beyond saving Megumi, if he's allowed to come back. If his life is the price he has to pay, however... That's fine as well. He can shoulder that burden for those that will live on. It's a strange dichotomy of thoughts in his mind.
Laughing a little, he pushes his weight into Bakugo in lieu of nudging him gently. ]
What, are you saying that other people don't get to hold your hand or anything? I guess I'm special.
[ If only he knew.
The skin is hard, definitely a shift from the softer, calloused skin that Yuji used to have, but the claws are the most alarming part, resting at the end and leaving him feeling a little sour when he looks at them. ]
[It had only been a night, but for those outside of Yuji's immediate circle, it had been a night plus a few days of watching their friend go about normal life in a state completely unlike himself. Building concern or worry until they finally lost patience waiting or decided to confront the matter head on. Bakugo would never offer his explosive nature as some kind of balm to a person, and yet, right now the aspect of being with him is helping.
Though pliers to the teeth is the analogy for getting Bakugo to admit an honest positivity about Neo Tokyo and their straights here (he still operates under "kidnapped" mode and due to past experiences, HATES that) it's hard to deny internally there are things he likes about the experiences and relationships he's found here. Some of that lances through with guilt, however, knowing that while he's here, the war in his world, where people are dying, his friends are threatened, his society is breaking, continues to rage. He wants to go back, wants to save as many as he can, to stop the self-destruction of everything...
But now that desire to save also includes new people. Including the one he's sitting next to.
All heroes must be ready and willing to die if it comes down to it, willing to sacrifice themselves and their power to protect and save those in need. Bakugo knows this, yet his pride and power refuses to accept that reality, to the point he feels heroes should be strong enough to never had to reach that point. Willing, yes, but have to, no. The ultimate price for someone else to live... but at what cost to the person who survives with that knowledge of their life's worth. And to those left behind.
Bakugo rocks at the push, grumbling some as he leans to the side, one hand moving to brace on the grass so he doesn't topple over. Tch, this guy's like a dog, pushy for company.]
I'm not saying anything, dammit! [No shit you're special! Stop making this even more awkward! And he has held hands with others before, though each time it's been like this - in that there's a purpose for holding hands. Not just... sitting there holding hands like a doofus. Even though Bakugo's not letting go of that hand. The claws, the hard skin, more pronounced bone, they're vastly different from Yuji's previous hands, draw curiosity, but that's for another time. They're part of Yuji now, and Yuji's Yuji. Who's doing that pouting scowl face. Tch!] It's better than not having hands.
[ Yuji's problem will always be the fact that he tries to bury how he's feeling, tucking it away and forcing himself to hide how deep the well of his sadness goes. He doesn't want other people to have to see how deeply hurt he is by his experiences, to feel sorry for him - because, as far as he's concerned, he chose to do this. He made this choice when he became Sukuna's vessel, when he lined himself up for execution, when he chose to fight to save Megumi.
He focuses on what he has to do because if he thinks about how much it hurts he won't be able to take it.
At least here, in the city, he has something to focus on. He has something he can keep his attention on, because it means that he won't crumble. There are kaiju to fight and people he cares about that he wants to spend time with, and that eases the burden on his heart, even if he might never be able to express it to them properly. He has his sensei, his brother, his friends, the people that mean the most to him - he has a home here.
It might be wrong, to lean so desperately into the happiness that he's been granted, but it's hard not to relish it and wrap his arms around it, to want to keep it. After everything he has been through, this is almost a kind of peace, the sort that he had forgotten about in the weeks of training and loss.
When Bakugo shifts, grumbles, Yuji does lean back a little; his desire for comfort will never come at the cost of his friends being discomforted. ]
Okay, okay. You know that's basically an admission, right?
[ He's only teasing, though, and Yuji sighs, letting his eyes slide shut as he basks in the softness, tenderness of the moment. It feels nice, and some of that uneasy weight disappears from him. Things could be a lot worse: he could have woken up here completely alone, bereft of anyone that he had come to care about. That would have been worse. ]
It's not the only thing that changed. I got some new powers, but I think you'll have to wait and see them on the next mission.
[In that respect, they're similar, as Bakugo only wants people to see the emotion/attitude he wants to show. Never compromising the image of a perfect, reliable, strong hero who never breaks or shows vulnerabilities like sorrow, regret, pain, struggle. To have people look down on him like he's in need, or think he's unable to be the hero he aims to be, are unacceptable injuries to his pride. He's going to be the hero he always dreamed of. He's going to win to save. And everyone's gonna know that.
To do anything less than flies in the face of his ambitions. Defeat is not in the life for the hero Dynamight aims to be.
But life has a way of humbling people, and he's learned a lot about himself in the past year. Bakugo's experiences in this place likewise continue to do that kind of work, showing him the necessity of working together, fostering relationships like teammates and friends (even if he won't verbally admit the latter), and forcing him to content with those feelings. While he refuses to call this place "home" because of his pride and determination to get back to his real home, he accepts this is his place for now.
Eventually he'll come to accept some people will want to remain here. The life here is happier for them, better, and in spite of his own logic, became a new home. Bakugo won't be able to rip that away from them. At best, he can stand by and make sure all those that wish to return can, and those who want to stay... there's plenty to do and live for here. It's not like he can say his own war-torn world isn't the pinnacle of vacation.
When Yuji retreats a slightly, Bakugo glances to the side, though he gives a small tug on the sorcerer's hand to silently tell him he can, you know... keep leaning. He naturally grumbles about showing this softer side of himself. It exists.]
Did you just go deaf? Like hell it is. [The lengths he'll go to deny stuff is amazing. Not that Yuji's wrong. Perhaps there isn't anything he can do to heal the damage in Yuji's new state, or fix things in his world, but if he can brace himself against the pain and weight the other sorcerer is dealing with and lift it, keeping it off his shoulders for a little while, then he'll brace himself and shove it up. That's part of being a hero, supporting the burden of others so they can breathe easier. Part of being a friend too.] Hmph. Gonna keep me in suspense.
[Tempering the impatience to see them now, or soon. Yuji needs time to rest, not get pushed to show his new powers, which seemed to have come at a heavy price.] Let's clear that mission in record time.
[ Fighting for the sake of others is what Yuji does, the way he has been moulded to be. Told from the first moment he had become a sorcerer that he would be executed in the end, everything he had done was for the purpose of making sure the people around him were safe, too. His grandfather had said it as well - he was good, and strong, so he should use that strength to help other people and try not to die alone.
It doesn't seem as if he's going to be able to keep all of those promises.
These are all the kinds of things that he can't express to people like Bakugo, who would argue with him fiercely. The fact that Bakugo is so determined to see him as 'human' when he feels like something else, when Shoko had told him that he was more like a cursed object than he was a human. It made sense, given the fact that he had been a vessel for so long, but that doesn't mean it made him all that happy.
The tug grabs his attention, and he leans in, sinking back against Bakugo. His friend can carry the burden of his weight, for a while, and he lets himself enjoy the relaxing of his shoulders absently.
It could be worse. He could be more monstrous, could have come back far more broken than this. ]
Yeah, yeah, like hell. I get it. [ That's Bakugo in a nutshell. He can't take it personally, because he knows this really is special. ] I think you'll probably be either super impressed or think it's kind of weird.
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OPEN TO ANYONE.
no subject
But they're not close enough that he can just up and ask what happened, and so he keeps his distance for a few days until he spots Yuji hunkered down outside and finally decides to head over. ]
Long day?
[ It's not so much a real question as it is a cautious hello, a veiled inquiry as to whether his presence here is allowed or not. ]
no subject
It's painfully obvious how tired he is, exhausted and feeling weak from his new experiences, and he has to force himself to nod his head before he turns back to look at the stars. It's going to take some time for him to back to his bubbly self, isn't it? ]
I was sent back home for a while.
[ And it was only overnight here. ]
no subject
Also close enough to see the exhaustion still on Yuji's face, another small detail that makes his heart sink further. ]
Huh. Didn't know that was possible.
[ It doesn't sound like it had been planned either, or surely Yuji would have said something about it earlier. The mystery deepens.... ]
I take it you didn't have a good time while you were home?
[ To put things lightly. ]
no subject
He's still struggling to keep those pieces together in front of people he knows. ]
Neither did I?
[ Which is why this is so shocking. He had thought he would have to wait to find out what happened, but...
Rubbing his eyes, he looks up at his friend and shakes his head absently. ]
... No. It was pretty bad.
no subject
He's quiet a few moments before he speaks up again. ]
Do you want to talk about it?
[ Yuji may have called him a friend awhile ago, but there's still a sliding scale when it comes to these things and he doesn't want to overstep. ]
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Glancing up, he hesitates for a moment before he shakes his head. ]
I... Don't know if I can. A lot happened.
[ And the grief is still fresh. ]
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Fair enough.
[ Even if the answer only serves to make him worry more, the weight behind those simple words bearing down on his shoulders. Still, he's been through his own fair share of suffering and grief, enough to have gained some consideration for others in the same boat. ]
I hope you can find someone to talk to later though. It's not good to keep everything inside.
[ But Yuji probably also knows that too. ]
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[ Just a lot of it. Choso knows the most, and Raidou a little more, and Gojo-sensei all of it, seeing as he was there for it all, but Yuji still doesn't look totally comfortable. The idea of sharing his feelings is a discomforting one, and he sighs softly as he rubs his face.
The claws press into his skin, and he looks away, frowning. ]
I'm doing my best, really.
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You are. Don't let anyone say you aren't.
[ Remembering to eat (even intermittently), talking out some of his troubles with the people closest to him, setting his own boundaries.....those are all signs of his conscientiousness. Different people respond to trauma differently and learn to cope differently. So long as Yuji isn't spiraling into self-destructive behaviors, then he's doing alright.
Though Wriothesley finds his attention caught on something else, his head tipping to one side in curiosity. ]
I didn't realize your brother was here.
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He can recover a little more here, and then head back home prepared to take on that fight again. That's how he has to think of this.
The change of topic is good enough for him, though, and the mention of his brother has him perking up just a little bit. ]
Yeah, he arrived recently! He's called Choso? I think he's been spending a lot of time in my room, but he's meant to be in Revelation.
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There's not much of an image forming in his head but he does distinctly remember a convoluted discussion on the ocular network a few weeks back. He'd introduced himself as Choso eventually, right>
But just to confirm: ]
Does he go by the username 'curse'?
[ Which is a pretty interesting choice of name, all things considered. ]
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[ To be fair, Yuji and Choso are like yin and yang; they're so utterly different in appearance and personality that it's understandable to imagine that they wouldn't be related at all. He's getting used to the idea that he might have to explain to people that they're actually siblings.
Kind of...
Shaking his head, he smiles softly. ]
I hope he wasn't being too weird.
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But despite the flare up of defensive anger, Bakugo keeps his distance. Mostly out of respect for Yuji's companions. Whatever happened to him, they would know first and want to talk to him, help him, console him. Megumi, Nobara, Nanami, Choso. Gojo. People from his world. Bakugo has loyalties to people, but in the end, he still considers people from your world, my world, their world, our world. Because he doesn't want to view this place as a permanent home. There's still so much to do back home...
Distance only lasts so long though. Despite his attitude, Bakugo's a hero with a heart. And... Yuji's friend. Seeing him missing meals, his sunshine attitude darkened, his "new" smile... It's uncomfortable for the few days it goes on. So this night, he goes to him, though has to search from the empty dorm room to finally locate Yuji outside.
Shoes on the grass, a quiet approach with his hands in his pockets, before Bakugo takes a seat next to the sorcerer. Spring still brings a chill in the air at night, the darkening purple sky above still reaching for pink towards the horizon and that fiery glow of red orange left behind by the setting sun.
Silent as he watches the skyline... before finally reaching to the side and offering his hand to the other boy to take if he wants.]
I'm here.
[-for whatever you need.]
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Bakugo is the kind of person he spends time with for fun, for sparring, for sharp words but soft moments, a tenderness that's bled between them because they understand one another. Yuji hadn't thought to burden him with this, because it didn't feel right to, not because their bond wasn't secure, but because it didn't seem fair. Why should Bakugo have to suffer just because he had? Why did his friends have to be dragged down to his level?
Feeling the other boy come and sit beside him, though, softens him just a little, the edges of his sharp pain sandpapered away. He could've been wrong, could've been too deep in his own shallow hurt, so stupid with it, but his friend is here all the same. He has no idea how he was lucky enough to earn this, how he got so lucky that he has friends who want to take care of him and help him - at his own pace.
That's a morbid relief.
Bakugo offers his hand, and Yuji hesitates, if only because his fingers are misshapen now, pinker, with claws on the end. Not human; different, Sukuna gone but something in its place. Choking back his tears, he wraps his fingers around Bakugo's and squeezes gently, letting himself take that comfort, to let himself have this moment even if, in the future, he might feel guilty for it. ]
... Hey, dandelion. It's been a while.
[ Not really, but for Yuji... ]
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We're your friends.
Grief. Pain. Burden. Destiny. Future. Villain. Hero. Hope. Hunger. Rest. Victory. Defeat. And so many more words that they were willing to take on along side Midoriya to make sure he could walk the path he chose. A path similar to Yuji's. Bakugo himself told his childhood friend that his path wasn't wrong. Only the belief that he had to walk it alone. He doesn't know the details of Yuji's path, what's knocked him down and torn him up, but he knows the sorcerer's on the right path. Just that he need not do it all by himself.
A concept Bakugo's not the greatest at following himself... but he's improving.
As those misshapen fingers curl around his own, claws touching his skin, inhuman and different, Bakugo closes his hand around Yuji's in a warm, secure grip. It's not dragging down; it's reaching out and holding on. Of course he wants to know, of course he wants to beat the ever-living shit out of the shadows plaguing Yuji's life and mind and heart. But that's Yuji's call. What he can do is be here for him, whenever and however he needs.]
Hey, Gari Head. [A while. Yeah, a few days, but that's... not what happened, is it.] I'm glad to see you.
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It's a heavy weight to carry, but it could be a weight that he can share out a little now.
Bakugo is an anchor, suddenly, in a way that his own hurt hadn't been - that had been dragging him down, weighing him, whereas this is something that helps him to stabilise and feel strong again. His eyes close for a moment as he breathes in and out, tries to stop himself from crying again, the exhaustion too real: he feels as if he's cried his own weight in tears so far. Isn't that enough? It has to be enough. He has to stop now, even if his entire body aches every time he moves.
It's not as if he's going to be broken for long; he has the strength to push himself forward and use this to help him be stronger, rather than weaker, a part of him wishes that he didn't have to. That, for once, the pain could have an end point rather than starting a new chapter. He wants to stop going through all of this - and he hopes, that once he saves Megumi, that it'll all be over. That he'll finally have some kind of peace, whatever form that takes.
Carefully, he squeezes Bakugo's hand, breathing in and out for a moment before he finds his words. ]
Me too. I'm glad you're still here.
[ He sinks a little against his friend, leaning against him. ]
Sorry about...
[ His weird hands. ]
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Just wouldn't say it because that's awkward and Bakugo doesn't want to acknowledge he's not some heartless badass strongest there is who needs no one. Turns out, he's a kid just like all the others, and friends aren't... horrible.
Yuji's never been someone who held him back or interfered with his goals. Having come from a world where everything was wrapped up in the ravages of war and a society imploding on itself, the guy came across as a reminder of just how strong someone can be, needs to be, in order to handle the bad and still shine bright. A hero. Even now, Bakugo can tell he's collecting himself, trying to keep those pieces from falling apart all over again. While he's not going to tell Yuji not to cry if he needs to... he's not going to encourage him to break down again either.
It's a good thing Yuji doesn't voice that internal thought. Bakugo would've given him a blunt "bullshit" defense. It's human to want the pain to end. He's seen heroes give up against adversity and vanish into the shadows. He despises those cowards even if he understands why they'd make such a stupid choice. From what he's seen of Yuji, "give up" doesn't seem a selectable option in his choice of actions. And Bakugo resonates with that 100%. He can't push that button for Yuji anymore than Yuji can push it for him, but he can watch him, stand by his side and be ready to go for when he does inevitably make the selection.
The squeeze gets another repeated motion, fingertips pressing against the back of his hand, no flinching at the claws or different texture along the back of the new arm(s).]
Hmph. I'm not going back without seeing you off, idiot. [Bakugo will be there making sure everyone else gets through the whatever back to their own homes before he goes back to his own. Like a big stubborn hero. There's a small bump as Yuji leans against him, but he doesn't resist it, letting him rest. A permission few people here have ever gotten.]
Urusei. They're fine. One of my classmate's Quirk allows him to harden every part of his body. [Kirishima can end up looking like a monstrous oni when fully hardened. And he'll get even stronger with it as time goes on.] He turns his hands into claws all the time.
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That's not unusual for Yuji; the way that he adopts people into his heart because he knows he might not have long with them, the knowledge of his own pending death warring with the world they've found themselves in as Jujutsu Sorcerers. This place was meant to be different, but if LILITH is going to send them home for brief sparks of time and then drag them back, it means he has to cling to these people as desperately as he can. Their time here is fragile, tenuous, and the idea of losing more people he cares about makes him ache.
Giving in to the urge to be sad when he has people he cares about and wants to support here is still tricky, but he's getting better at it. More people are drawing him out of his shell, getting him to admit to things, forcing him to face his own inner demons - almost literally now - and it means that he can breathe for the first time in what feels like months. Some of that weight is lifting, and he's allowed to want that, and it's okay.
Shaking his head, he closes his eyes, letting himself borrow some of Bakugo's strength. ]
Gonna be the last one here, huh? At least I'll get to give you a proper goodbye. [ Yuji doesn't want to go back without saying his farewells, not to the people who he cherishes most. It's happened once: he'll fight harder next time.
His hands flex, briefly, and he sighs a soft noise. ]
Aah, so you're used to it? I can't turn these off, though, so we're just stuck with it now.
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A year can do a lot to people. Bakugo usually tries to keep people out, finding the idea of friendships and close relationships nothing more than a distraction to his focuses and annoyances when they show up. Too bad he's human. Some people eventually wheedle themselves in by dancing around the prickly parts. And some people just smash through without giving him a chance to blink. Bakugo never intended to get close to the people here; this wasn't his world, wasn't his problem, wasn't his companions. But trying to survive with others in similar situations forges things... things he knows won't be easy to lose when the time comes.
He'll be resolute when it does, knowing there are other lives to save and things to do back home. Bakugo might be the one telling everyone else to get their asses through the whatever, but... part of him won't want to say goodbye. Maybe he'll remember them. Perhaps they'll meet again. He doesn't know. But what he does know is that they'll be going home. That they survived this place safely. And that's the important part for him. Even if some of them managed to pry open his shell and nestle into his hot heart.
As Yuji relaxes some, Bakugo silently admits he's not going to have an easy time saying farewell to him. But they both made a promise not to die on each other. Here or home. It'd better keep. Even across dimensions.]
You better. I'll find a way into your world and blast you through the wall if you don't. [However that's possible. He'll find a way! These assholes did it! Because he's going to survive, he's going to win against All for One, and he's not going to break that promise.
Bakugo looks down at Yuji's hand, thumb running over a knuckle and pressing on it a bit, just to test.] Na-!? Oy, it's not like he's running around holding my hand in Hard Mode!
[Grumpy, defensive (embarrassed) comment. Though Kirishima is certainly the kind of guy who would love hand holding, even with Hardening active.]
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He's glad, that this can be a place of happiness for them rather than a place of pain and hurt. He can admit that what he has found here (the friendship, the companionship, the return of the people he loved most in the world back at his side) is better than what he had left behind. The truth is, of course, that he will have to go back eventually; he'll have to return to save what little he has left. Maybe then LILITH will let him awaken here and live out a new life as whatever kind of hero these Outsiders were meant to be.
Yuji might be ready to die, to play his part in this story, to sacrifice himself to save the others, but he finds a quiet part of himself doesn't want that any more. He has more to live for, beyond saving Megumi, if he's allowed to come back. If his life is the price he has to pay, however... That's fine as well. He can shoulder that burden for those that will live on. It's a strange dichotomy of thoughts in his mind.
Laughing a little, he pushes his weight into Bakugo in lieu of nudging him gently. ]
What, are you saying that other people don't get to hold your hand or anything? I guess I'm special.
[ If only he knew.
The skin is hard, definitely a shift from the softer, calloused skin that Yuji used to have, but the claws are the most alarming part, resting at the end and leaving him feeling a little sour when he looks at them. ]
They might go away after a while. I'm not sure.
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Though pliers to the teeth is the analogy for getting Bakugo to admit an honest positivity about Neo Tokyo and their straights here (he still operates under "kidnapped" mode and due to past experiences, HATES that) it's hard to deny internally there are things he likes about the experiences and relationships he's found here. Some of that lances through with guilt, however, knowing that while he's here, the war in his world, where people are dying, his friends are threatened, his society is breaking, continues to rage. He wants to go back, wants to save as many as he can, to stop the self-destruction of everything...
But now that desire to save also includes new people. Including the one he's sitting next to.
All heroes must be ready and willing to die if it comes down to it, willing to sacrifice themselves and their power to protect and save those in need. Bakugo knows this, yet his pride and power refuses to accept that reality, to the point he feels heroes should be strong enough to never had to reach that point. Willing, yes, but have to, no. The ultimate price for someone else to live... but at what cost to the person who survives with that knowledge of their life's worth. And to those left behind.
Bakugo rocks at the push, grumbling some as he leans to the side, one hand moving to brace on the grass so he doesn't topple over. Tch, this guy's like a dog, pushy for company.]
I'm not saying anything, dammit! [No shit you're special! Stop making this even more awkward! And he has held hands with others before, though each time it's been like this - in that there's a purpose for holding hands. Not just... sitting there holding hands like a doofus. Even though Bakugo's not letting go of that hand. The claws, the hard skin, more pronounced bone, they're vastly different from Yuji's previous hands, draw curiosity, but that's for another time. They're part of Yuji now, and Yuji's Yuji. Who's doing that pouting scowl face. Tch!] It's better than not having hands.
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He focuses on what he has to do because if he thinks about how much it hurts he won't be able to take it.
At least here, in the city, he has something to focus on. He has something he can keep his attention on, because it means that he won't crumble. There are kaiju to fight and people he cares about that he wants to spend time with, and that eases the burden on his heart, even if he might never be able to express it to them properly. He has his sensei, his brother, his friends, the people that mean the most to him - he has a home here.
It might be wrong, to lean so desperately into the happiness that he's been granted, but it's hard not to relish it and wrap his arms around it, to want to keep it. After everything he has been through, this is almost a kind of peace, the sort that he had forgotten about in the weeks of training and loss.
When Bakugo shifts, grumbles, Yuji does lean back a little; his desire for comfort will never come at the cost of his friends being discomforted. ]
Okay, okay. You know that's basically an admission, right?
[ He's only teasing, though, and Yuji sighs, letting his eyes slide shut as he basks in the softness, tenderness of the moment. It feels nice, and some of that uneasy weight disappears from him. Things could be a lot worse: he could have woken up here completely alone, bereft of anyone that he had come to care about. That would have been worse. ]
It's not the only thing that changed. I got some new powers, but I think you'll have to wait and see them on the next mission.
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To do anything less than flies in the face of his ambitions. Defeat is not in the life for the hero Dynamight aims to be.
But life has a way of humbling people, and he's learned a lot about himself in the past year. Bakugo's experiences in this place likewise continue to do that kind of work, showing him the necessity of working together, fostering relationships like teammates and friends (even if he won't verbally admit the latter), and forcing him to content with those feelings. While he refuses to call this place "home" because of his pride and determination to get back to his real home, he accepts this is his place for now.
Eventually he'll come to accept some people will want to remain here. The life here is happier for them, better, and in spite of his own logic, became a new home. Bakugo won't be able to rip that away from them. At best, he can stand by and make sure all those that wish to return can, and those who want to stay... there's plenty to do and live for here. It's not like he can say his own war-torn world isn't the pinnacle of vacation.
When Yuji retreats a slightly, Bakugo glances to the side, though he gives a small tug on the sorcerer's hand to silently tell him he can, you know... keep leaning. He naturally grumbles about showing this softer side of himself. It exists.]
Did you just go deaf? Like hell it is. [The lengths he'll go to deny stuff is amazing. Not that Yuji's wrong. Perhaps there isn't anything he can do to heal the damage in Yuji's new state, or fix things in his world, but if he can brace himself against the pain and weight the other sorcerer is dealing with and lift it, keeping it off his shoulders for a little while, then he'll brace himself and shove it up. That's part of being a hero, supporting the burden of others so they can breathe easier. Part of being a friend too.] Hmph. Gonna keep me in suspense.
[Tempering the impatience to see them now, or soon. Yuji needs time to rest, not get pushed to show his new powers, which seemed to have come at a heavy price.] Let's clear that mission in record time.
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It doesn't seem as if he's going to be able to keep all of those promises.
These are all the kinds of things that he can't express to people like Bakugo, who would argue with him fiercely. The fact that Bakugo is so determined to see him as 'human' when he feels like something else, when Shoko had told him that he was more like a cursed object than he was a human. It made sense, given the fact that he had been a vessel for so long, but that doesn't mean it made him all that happy.
The tug grabs his attention, and he leans in, sinking back against Bakugo. His friend can carry the burden of his weight, for a while, and he lets himself enjoy the relaxing of his shoulders absently.
It could be worse. He could be more monstrous, could have come back far more broken than this. ]
Yeah, yeah, like hell. I get it. [ That's Bakugo in a nutshell. He can't take it personally, because he knows this really is special. ] I think you'll probably be either super impressed or think it's kind of weird.
[ Either way, it'll be an experience. ]
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