WHO: Yuji Itadori & various ( closed and open prompts ) WHAT: Yuji has Canon Updated. It isn't going well. WHERE: Across the base WHEN: March 21 onwards WARNINGS: Jujutsu Kaisen spoilers up to chapter 248.
[ Yuji hadn't thought to seek out Bakugo, because it hadn't registered in his mind to sink into this particular friend with all the strange new grief he's feeling.
Bakugo is the kind of person he spends time with for fun, for sparring, for sharp words but soft moments, a tenderness that's bled between them because they understand one another. Yuji hadn't thought to burden him with this, because it didn't feel right to, not because their bond wasn't secure, but because it didn't seem fair. Why should Bakugo have to suffer just because he had? Why did his friends have to be dragged down to his level?
Feeling the other boy come and sit beside him, though, softens him just a little, the edges of his sharp pain sandpapered away. He could've been wrong, could've been too deep in his own shallow hurt, so stupid with it, but his friend is here all the same. He has no idea how he was lucky enough to earn this, how he got so lucky that he has friends who want to take care of him and help him - at his own pace.
That's a morbid relief.
Bakugo offers his hand, and Yuji hesitates, if only because his fingers are misshapen now, pinker, with claws on the end. Not human; different, Sukuna gone but something in its place. Choking back his tears, he wraps his fingers around Bakugo's and squeezes gently, letting himself take that comfort, to let himself have this moment even if, in the future, he might feel guilty for it. ]
[Because they're friends. This isn't dragging anyone down to a level that's too low for them. Bakugo remembers Midoriya out in the rain, tired, hurt, running on fumes, and still so damn determined to shoulder everything on his own. Because his friends couldn't keep up with him, because he had to keep them at arm's length lest he drag them down with him, because only he deserved this pain. Every single one of those 19 students, his classmates, his friends, came to get him that day because of a simple fact:
We're your friends.
Grief. Pain. Burden. Destiny. Future. Villain. Hero. Hope. Hunger. Rest. Victory. Defeat. And so many more words that they were willing to take on along side Midoriya to make sure he could walk the path he chose. A path similar to Yuji's. Bakugo himself told his childhood friend that his path wasn't wrong. Only the belief that he had to walk it alone. He doesn't know the details of Yuji's path, what's knocked him down and torn him up, but he knows the sorcerer's on the right path. Just that he need not do it all by himself.
A concept Bakugo's not the greatest at following himself... but he's improving.
As those misshapen fingers curl around his own, claws touching his skin, inhuman and different, Bakugo closes his hand around Yuji's in a warm, secure grip. It's not dragging down; it's reaching out and holding on. Of course he wants to know, of course he wants to beat the ever-living shit out of the shadows plaguing Yuji's life and mind and heart. But that's Yuji's call. What he can do is be here for him, whenever and however he needs.]
Hey, Gari Head. [A while. Yeah, a few days, but that's... not what happened, is it.] I'm glad to see you.
[ It's still a difficult thing for Yuji to grasp, that other people might feel the way about him that he does for them; he has been so conditioned to expect his own death that he doesn't consider those kinds of consequences. It bears down on him now, making him realise his own importance in a way that he never had before: he means something to these people. The way he wants to fight for them and protect them is the same that they want to do for him.
It's a heavy weight to carry, but it could be a weight that he can share out a little now.
Bakugo is an anchor, suddenly, in a way that his own hurt hadn't been - that had been dragging him down, weighing him, whereas this is something that helps him to stabilise and feel strong again. His eyes close for a moment as he breathes in and out, tries to stop himself from crying again, the exhaustion too real: he feels as if he's cried his own weight in tears so far. Isn't that enough? It has to be enough. He has to stop now, even if his entire body aches every time he moves.
It's not as if he's going to be broken for long; he has the strength to push himself forward and use this to help him be stronger, rather than weaker, a part of him wishes that he didn't have to. That, for once, the pain could have an end point rather than starting a new chapter. He wants to stop going through all of this - and he hopes, that once he saves Megumi, that it'll all be over. That he'll finally have some kind of peace, whatever form that takes.
Carefully, he squeezes Bakugo's hand, breathing in and out for a moment before he finds his words. ]
Me too. I'm glad you're still here.
[ He sinks a little against his friend, leaning against him. ]
[Bakugo had grown out of caring what other people thought of him and that he might care about other people. Everyone was beneath him, a stepping stone, something to either dismiss or conquer on his road to greatness. But that was a year ago. Before he came into a class where people weren't afraid of him, didn't sing him praises, challenged him, called him out, and treated him as "one of them" rather than the greatest. And you know... he actually started to give a shit about them after a while.
Just wouldn't say it because that's awkward and Bakugo doesn't want to acknowledge he's not some heartless badass strongest there is who needs no one. Turns out, he's a kid just like all the others, and friends aren't... horrible.
Yuji's never been someone who held him back or interfered with his goals. Having come from a world where everything was wrapped up in the ravages of war and a society imploding on itself, the guy came across as a reminder of just how strong someone can be, needs to be, in order to handle the bad and still shine bright. A hero. Even now, Bakugo can tell he's collecting himself, trying to keep those pieces from falling apart all over again. While he's not going to tell Yuji not to cry if he needs to... he's not going to encourage him to break down again either.
It's a good thing Yuji doesn't voice that internal thought. Bakugo would've given him a blunt "bullshit" defense. It's human to want the pain to end. He's seen heroes give up against adversity and vanish into the shadows. He despises those cowards even if he understands why they'd make such a stupid choice. From what he's seen of Yuji, "give up" doesn't seem a selectable option in his choice of actions. And Bakugo resonates with that 100%. He can't push that button for Yuji anymore than Yuji can push it for him, but he can watch him, stand by his side and be ready to go for when he does inevitably make the selection.
The squeeze gets another repeated motion, fingertips pressing against the back of his hand, no flinching at the claws or different texture along the back of the new arm(s).]
Hmph. I'm not going back without seeing you off, idiot. [Bakugo will be there making sure everyone else gets through the whatever back to their own homes before he goes back to his own. Like a big stubborn hero. There's a small bump as Yuji leans against him, but he doesn't resist it, letting him rest. A permission few people here have ever gotten.]
Urusei. They're fine. One of my classmate's Quirk allows him to harden every part of his body. [Kirishima can end up looking like a monstrous oni when fully hardened. And he'll get even stronger with it as time goes on.] He turns his hands into claws all the time.
[ Yuji remembers when he had first met Bakugo, how weird and strange he'd thought the other guy was - this loudmouth who wanted to scream and shout and argue, who seemed to use his temper instead of the better parts of him in conversations. Their stupid game at the Everlight sleepover, fighting together, spending time together between their missions... The way this guy had grown on him and become someone important to him in such a short time...
That's not unusual for Yuji; the way that he adopts people into his heart because he knows he might not have long with them, the knowledge of his own pending death warring with the world they've found themselves in as Jujutsu Sorcerers. This place was meant to be different, but if LILITH is going to send them home for brief sparks of time and then drag them back, it means he has to cling to these people as desperately as he can. Their time here is fragile, tenuous, and the idea of losing more people he cares about makes him ache.
Giving in to the urge to be sad when he has people he cares about and wants to support here is still tricky, but he's getting better at it. More people are drawing him out of his shell, getting him to admit to things, forcing him to face his own inner demons - almost literally now - and it means that he can breathe for the first time in what feels like months. Some of that weight is lifting, and he's allowed to want that, and it's okay.
Shaking his head, he closes his eyes, letting himself borrow some of Bakugo's strength. ]
Gonna be the last one here, huh? At least I'll get to give you a proper goodbye. [ Yuji doesn't want to go back without saying his farewells, not to the people who he cherishes most. It's happened once: he'll fight harder next time.
His hands flex, briefly, and he sighs a soft noise. ]
Aah, so you're used to it? I can't turn these off, though, so we're just stuck with it now.
[Conversely, Bakugo found Yuji annoying as heck when he first met him. That eternal cheerfulness, a jaw that wouldn't shut up, monstrous strength, and more brawn than brains by 90%. Someone he would've dismissed as too bothersome a person to deal with. But there had been one snag... His heart. It was impossible to deny Yuji was a good guy. The more he spent time with him, the more he realized just how much of a hero the sorcerer was. Despite everything that happened in his life... he persevered.
A year can do a lot to people. Bakugo usually tries to keep people out, finding the idea of friendships and close relationships nothing more than a distraction to his focuses and annoyances when they show up. Too bad he's human. Some people eventually wheedle themselves in by dancing around the prickly parts. And some people just smash through without giving him a chance to blink. Bakugo never intended to get close to the people here; this wasn't his world, wasn't his problem, wasn't his companions. But trying to survive with others in similar situations forges things... things he knows won't be easy to lose when the time comes.
He'll be resolute when it does, knowing there are other lives to save and things to do back home. Bakugo might be the one telling everyone else to get their asses through the whatever, but... part of him won't want to say goodbye. Maybe he'll remember them. Perhaps they'll meet again. He doesn't know. But what he does know is that they'll be going home. That they survived this place safely. And that's the important part for him. Even if some of them managed to pry open his shell and nestle into his hot heart.
As Yuji relaxes some, Bakugo silently admits he's not going to have an easy time saying farewell to him. But they both made a promise not to die on each other. Here or home. It'd better keep. Even across dimensions.]
You better. I'll find a way into your world and blast you through the wall if you don't. [However that's possible. He'll find a way! These assholes did it! Because he's going to survive, he's going to win against All for One, and he's not going to break that promise.
Bakugo looks down at Yuji's hand, thumb running over a knuckle and pressing on it a bit, just to test.] Na-!? Oy, it's not like he's running around holding my hand in Hard Mode!
[Grumpy, defensive (embarrassed) comment. Though Kirishima is certainly the kind of guy who would love hand holding, even with Hardening active.]
[ It should be strange, that Bakugo's nature - the quick to anger, bristling temper, soothed only by the moment of Yuji being in pain and hurt - eases some of the discomfort that Yuji is feeling. It makes things feel a little more normal after everything that he's been through. He had disappeared for months and woken up as if nothing had changed, and for other people it hadn't - it had just been one night. It's good, that no one else is suffering any after effects.
He's glad, that this can be a place of happiness for them rather than a place of pain and hurt. He can admit that what he has found here (the friendship, the companionship, the return of the people he loved most in the world back at his side) is better than what he had left behind. The truth is, of course, that he will have to go back eventually; he'll have to return to save what little he has left. Maybe then LILITH will let him awaken here and live out a new life as whatever kind of hero these Outsiders were meant to be.
Yuji might be ready to die, to play his part in this story, to sacrifice himself to save the others, but he finds a quiet part of himself doesn't want that any more. He has more to live for, beyond saving Megumi, if he's allowed to come back. If his life is the price he has to pay, however... That's fine as well. He can shoulder that burden for those that will live on. It's a strange dichotomy of thoughts in his mind.
Laughing a little, he pushes his weight into Bakugo in lieu of nudging him gently. ]
What, are you saying that other people don't get to hold your hand or anything? I guess I'm special.
[ If only he knew.
The skin is hard, definitely a shift from the softer, calloused skin that Yuji used to have, but the claws are the most alarming part, resting at the end and leaving him feeling a little sour when he looks at them. ]
[It had only been a night, but for those outside of Yuji's immediate circle, it had been a night plus a few days of watching their friend go about normal life in a state completely unlike himself. Building concern or worry until they finally lost patience waiting or decided to confront the matter head on. Bakugo would never offer his explosive nature as some kind of balm to a person, and yet, right now the aspect of being with him is helping.
Though pliers to the teeth is the analogy for getting Bakugo to admit an honest positivity about Neo Tokyo and their straights here (he still operates under "kidnapped" mode and due to past experiences, HATES that) it's hard to deny internally there are things he likes about the experiences and relationships he's found here. Some of that lances through with guilt, however, knowing that while he's here, the war in his world, where people are dying, his friends are threatened, his society is breaking, continues to rage. He wants to go back, wants to save as many as he can, to stop the self-destruction of everything...
But now that desire to save also includes new people. Including the one he's sitting next to.
All heroes must be ready and willing to die if it comes down to it, willing to sacrifice themselves and their power to protect and save those in need. Bakugo knows this, yet his pride and power refuses to accept that reality, to the point he feels heroes should be strong enough to never had to reach that point. Willing, yes, but have to, no. The ultimate price for someone else to live... but at what cost to the person who survives with that knowledge of their life's worth. And to those left behind.
Bakugo rocks at the push, grumbling some as he leans to the side, one hand moving to brace on the grass so he doesn't topple over. Tch, this guy's like a dog, pushy for company.]
I'm not saying anything, dammit! [No shit you're special! Stop making this even more awkward! And he has held hands with others before, though each time it's been like this - in that there's a purpose for holding hands. Not just... sitting there holding hands like a doofus. Even though Bakugo's not letting go of that hand. The claws, the hard skin, more pronounced bone, they're vastly different from Yuji's previous hands, draw curiosity, but that's for another time. They're part of Yuji now, and Yuji's Yuji. Who's doing that pouting scowl face. Tch!] It's better than not having hands.
[ Yuji's problem will always be the fact that he tries to bury how he's feeling, tucking it away and forcing himself to hide how deep the well of his sadness goes. He doesn't want other people to have to see how deeply hurt he is by his experiences, to feel sorry for him - because, as far as he's concerned, he chose to do this. He made this choice when he became Sukuna's vessel, when he lined himself up for execution, when he chose to fight to save Megumi.
He focuses on what he has to do because if he thinks about how much it hurts he won't be able to take it.
At least here, in the city, he has something to focus on. He has something he can keep his attention on, because it means that he won't crumble. There are kaiju to fight and people he cares about that he wants to spend time with, and that eases the burden on his heart, even if he might never be able to express it to them properly. He has his sensei, his brother, his friends, the people that mean the most to him - he has a home here.
It might be wrong, to lean so desperately into the happiness that he's been granted, but it's hard not to relish it and wrap his arms around it, to want to keep it. After everything he has been through, this is almost a kind of peace, the sort that he had forgotten about in the weeks of training and loss.
When Bakugo shifts, grumbles, Yuji does lean back a little; his desire for comfort will never come at the cost of his friends being discomforted. ]
Okay, okay. You know that's basically an admission, right?
[ He's only teasing, though, and Yuji sighs, letting his eyes slide shut as he basks in the softness, tenderness of the moment. It feels nice, and some of that uneasy weight disappears from him. Things could be a lot worse: he could have woken up here completely alone, bereft of anyone that he had come to care about. That would have been worse. ]
It's not the only thing that changed. I got some new powers, but I think you'll have to wait and see them on the next mission.
[In that respect, they're similar, as Bakugo only wants people to see the emotion/attitude he wants to show. Never compromising the image of a perfect, reliable, strong hero who never breaks or shows vulnerabilities like sorrow, regret, pain, struggle. To have people look down on him like he's in need, or think he's unable to be the hero he aims to be, are unacceptable injuries to his pride. He's going to be the hero he always dreamed of. He's going to win to save. And everyone's gonna know that.
To do anything less than flies in the face of his ambitions. Defeat is not in the life for the hero Dynamight aims to be.
But life has a way of humbling people, and he's learned a lot about himself in the past year. Bakugo's experiences in this place likewise continue to do that kind of work, showing him the necessity of working together, fostering relationships like teammates and friends (even if he won't verbally admit the latter), and forcing him to content with those feelings. While he refuses to call this place "home" because of his pride and determination to get back to his real home, he accepts this is his place for now.
Eventually he'll come to accept some people will want to remain here. The life here is happier for them, better, and in spite of his own logic, became a new home. Bakugo won't be able to rip that away from them. At best, he can stand by and make sure all those that wish to return can, and those who want to stay... there's plenty to do and live for here. It's not like he can say his own war-torn world isn't the pinnacle of vacation.
When Yuji retreats a slightly, Bakugo glances to the side, though he gives a small tug on the sorcerer's hand to silently tell him he can, you know... keep leaning. He naturally grumbles about showing this softer side of himself. It exists.]
Did you just go deaf? Like hell it is. [The lengths he'll go to deny stuff is amazing. Not that Yuji's wrong. Perhaps there isn't anything he can do to heal the damage in Yuji's new state, or fix things in his world, but if he can brace himself against the pain and weight the other sorcerer is dealing with and lift it, keeping it off his shoulders for a little while, then he'll brace himself and shove it up. That's part of being a hero, supporting the burden of others so they can breathe easier. Part of being a friend too.] Hmph. Gonna keep me in suspense.
[Tempering the impatience to see them now, or soon. Yuji needs time to rest, not get pushed to show his new powers, which seemed to have come at a heavy price.] Let's clear that mission in record time.
[ Fighting for the sake of others is what Yuji does, the way he has been moulded to be. Told from the first moment he had become a sorcerer that he would be executed in the end, everything he had done was for the purpose of making sure the people around him were safe, too. His grandfather had said it as well - he was good, and strong, so he should use that strength to help other people and try not to die alone.
It doesn't seem as if he's going to be able to keep all of those promises.
These are all the kinds of things that he can't express to people like Bakugo, who would argue with him fiercely. The fact that Bakugo is so determined to see him as 'human' when he feels like something else, when Shoko had told him that he was more like a cursed object than he was a human. It made sense, given the fact that he had been a vessel for so long, but that doesn't mean it made him all that happy.
The tug grabs his attention, and he leans in, sinking back against Bakugo. His friend can carry the burden of his weight, for a while, and he lets himself enjoy the relaxing of his shoulders absently.
It could be worse. He could be more monstrous, could have come back far more broken than this. ]
Yeah, yeah, like hell. I get it. [ That's Bakugo in a nutshell. He can't take it personally, because he knows this really is special. ] I think you'll probably be either super impressed or think it's kind of weird.
[There will never be a moment when Bakugo chastises Yuji for fighting for the sake of others. It's as heroic as any hero in his own world. Yet he draws the line when that heroism becomes blind effort with zero regard for the self. Just because you aim not to die alone doesn't mean you should run towards that goal too fast. He's seen the same drive in Izuku and All Might, and doesn't want someone he cares for to do it. There has to be another way other than death.
Bakugo can and will never see Yuji as anything other than human. No matter what some asshole says, even some fucking stitch-headed bastard walking in with "proof" of some creation, he'll stick with his trust in Yuji's humanity. He can house a curse, grow demon-looking arms, have his DNA rewritten to be... fuck knows what. Even tell the hero to his face that he's not human. Bakugo still won't give up on him. Yuji's Yuji. A person. Not some "thing" for someone's purpose.
Damn right he'll argue.
As Yuji leans back into him, Bakugo looks up at the stars above them, taking comfort in feeling the other boy's shoulders relax. Life's been shit to a lot of people, hasn't it...]
Tch. Don't make me say what you already know. [Okay well, Yuji knowing something might be a stretch. But Bakugo's stubborn. Just gonna face the stars until the faint heat on his face goes away.]
There's a guy in my world with a centipede for a head and another asshole can shoot glue out of his face. Gonna have to try hard to be weird, Gari Head.
[Odds are he'll finds it fascinating, because Bakugo's a closeted nerd about powers.]
I knew a guy who's entire ability was based on gambling. Like a pachinko? And Panda-senpai is literally a panda, so...
[ They both know people with weird and unusual abilities, don't they? Most of his friends - Megumi, Kugisaki, the others like that - seem to have niche, cool abilities that he'd always been envious of. The more sorcerers he meets, though, the weirder it gets, as if the further away from the Tokyo school the stranger people are.
He thought people in the school were weird enough, honestly.
It's getting easier and easier to relax the longer he's next to his friend, all that pent-up tension shifting and bleeding out until Yuji's shoulders aren't hunched up to his ears any more and are, instead, hanging loose. He should've gone to see Bakugo straight away, he thinks, because if there's anyone in the world who would be able to beat some sense into him, physically or just by talking, it would be this friend right here. He just wasn't ready for that until now.
Sighing softly, he closes his eyes and tilts his head back, just a little. ]
I have to try harder to be weirder than "the guy who ate fifteen fingers" anyway, right?
[ A soft, sad laugh. How about the guy who maybe(?) ate his own brothers to get stronger? ]
I know what you're going to say, but thanks anyway, Bakugo.
Tch. A literal panda, huh. We're surrounded by weirdos.
[And yet many of those weirdos are friends and allies who use those weird things to fight with them and for them. Bakugo had never been envious of someone else's Quirk while he grew up, but it was Todoroki's pure show of power with his Quirk that for the first time cowed Bakugo into awe, wondering how the hell he was supposed to match that. He never forgot that feeling. A wretched reality check for the big fish from a small pond.
How much would it be for people like Yuji and Midoriya who came from no powers to suddenly have them...
Talking about home has always been something Bakugo tried to avoid here, as the nostalgia and homesickness clenches at him hard. Yet, in moments like these, home brings a comfort that's impossible to find elsewhere. As Yuji relaxes, and he feels it against his shoulder, Bakugo also finds a release in the other boy's presence and words. He thinks he should've reached out to Yuji earlier, no matter how many people were already there. A hero often unnecessarily interferes with other people's business simply because a hero wants to help ease someone's burden. But no... Yuji needed the time. This is fine right now.
Bakugo squeezes Yuji's hand lightly, tilting himself a little to lean against the other boy as well. The comment gets a brief scoff from the blonde, but he lets the sorcerer have his added say.]
Wow. You come back with psychic abilities too.
[Grumpy, but completely lacking any anger. There's more weight on Yuji's shoulders, he can tell, but at least the guy's letting Bakugo support him for a while. A small quiet passes between them before Bakugo turns his head and looks at Yuji's profile.]
You did what you did to protect someone. Nothing's weirder than putting your life on the line for another person. [Logically it goes against the very idea/goal of living. How much weirder can you get than that?] So thanks for being weird, Itadori.
Honestly, I think Panda-senpai might be the most normal out of all of us...
[ He always seemed pretty down to earth in comparison to a lot of their peers, so... Maybe that's what happens when you're a stuffed animal brought to life by a cursed technique? Yuji can empathise a little - he got his cursed abilities from eating a finger to begin with, after all.
The problem with Yuji will always be that he will never be able to seek people out and ask for help - he's not able to share his burdens, not able to express his hurts because he doesn't want to cause more problems. It hurts to think that he has to do it alone, but he doesn't at the same time - developing, growing, trying to be better.
Trying. Failing. He's not sure if he can keep going, but he doesn't have a choice.
Sighing softly, he shakes his head, letting himself have this. Letting himself bask in Bakugo and his quiet, easy friendship. ]
Hah, you think so? I keep doing it, so I must be super weird...
[Roll around and eat bamboo and get a ton of pictures in the zoo? The idea of a fighting panda seems ridiculous. But something tells him this panda isn't like a normal panda... which would make him the weirdest for not even being what he biologically is. A lot about that Bakugo doesn't know, so he's just making generalizations in his head.
Bakugo's never been one to seek other people out either. He hates admitting he needs help because it makes him look vulnerable, refuses to ask for it because it makes him appear weak, and strives to handle his problems on his own because self-reliance is paramount to strength and victory. Sharing his burdens is just as chaffing as sharing his successes. But unlike Yuji's resistance to sharing his burdens stemming from a tender heart, Bakugo's stems from his pride. At least he's improving...
As he talks with Yuji now, he acknowledges the other boy is improving as well. He won't give up no matter how many times he fails, and Bakugo resonates with that drive, as he'd rather burn himself out completely in pursuit of victory than admit defeat.]
Yeah. Super fucking weird. [Which in this conversation, has turned into a a tongue in cheek compliment. Bakugo growls softly when Yuji takes the gratitude literally. Figures.] Shut up and take it.
[Yuji's done a lot for other people. He can thank him for doing that if he damn well wants.]
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Bakugo is the kind of person he spends time with for fun, for sparring, for sharp words but soft moments, a tenderness that's bled between them because they understand one another. Yuji hadn't thought to burden him with this, because it didn't feel right to, not because their bond wasn't secure, but because it didn't seem fair. Why should Bakugo have to suffer just because he had? Why did his friends have to be dragged down to his level?
Feeling the other boy come and sit beside him, though, softens him just a little, the edges of his sharp pain sandpapered away. He could've been wrong, could've been too deep in his own shallow hurt, so stupid with it, but his friend is here all the same. He has no idea how he was lucky enough to earn this, how he got so lucky that he has friends who want to take care of him and help him - at his own pace.
That's a morbid relief.
Bakugo offers his hand, and Yuji hesitates, if only because his fingers are misshapen now, pinker, with claws on the end. Not human; different, Sukuna gone but something in its place. Choking back his tears, he wraps his fingers around Bakugo's and squeezes gently, letting himself take that comfort, to let himself have this moment even if, in the future, he might feel guilty for it. ]
... Hey, dandelion. It's been a while.
[ Not really, but for Yuji... ]
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We're your friends.
Grief. Pain. Burden. Destiny. Future. Villain. Hero. Hope. Hunger. Rest. Victory. Defeat. And so many more words that they were willing to take on along side Midoriya to make sure he could walk the path he chose. A path similar to Yuji's. Bakugo himself told his childhood friend that his path wasn't wrong. Only the belief that he had to walk it alone. He doesn't know the details of Yuji's path, what's knocked him down and torn him up, but he knows the sorcerer's on the right path. Just that he need not do it all by himself.
A concept Bakugo's not the greatest at following himself... but he's improving.
As those misshapen fingers curl around his own, claws touching his skin, inhuman and different, Bakugo closes his hand around Yuji's in a warm, secure grip. It's not dragging down; it's reaching out and holding on. Of course he wants to know, of course he wants to beat the ever-living shit out of the shadows plaguing Yuji's life and mind and heart. But that's Yuji's call. What he can do is be here for him, whenever and however he needs.]
Hey, Gari Head. [A while. Yeah, a few days, but that's... not what happened, is it.] I'm glad to see you.
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It's a heavy weight to carry, but it could be a weight that he can share out a little now.
Bakugo is an anchor, suddenly, in a way that his own hurt hadn't been - that had been dragging him down, weighing him, whereas this is something that helps him to stabilise and feel strong again. His eyes close for a moment as he breathes in and out, tries to stop himself from crying again, the exhaustion too real: he feels as if he's cried his own weight in tears so far. Isn't that enough? It has to be enough. He has to stop now, even if his entire body aches every time he moves.
It's not as if he's going to be broken for long; he has the strength to push himself forward and use this to help him be stronger, rather than weaker, a part of him wishes that he didn't have to. That, for once, the pain could have an end point rather than starting a new chapter. He wants to stop going through all of this - and he hopes, that once he saves Megumi, that it'll all be over. That he'll finally have some kind of peace, whatever form that takes.
Carefully, he squeezes Bakugo's hand, breathing in and out for a moment before he finds his words. ]
Me too. I'm glad you're still here.
[ He sinks a little against his friend, leaning against him. ]
Sorry about...
[ His weird hands. ]
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Just wouldn't say it because that's awkward and Bakugo doesn't want to acknowledge he's not some heartless badass strongest there is who needs no one. Turns out, he's a kid just like all the others, and friends aren't... horrible.
Yuji's never been someone who held him back or interfered with his goals. Having come from a world where everything was wrapped up in the ravages of war and a society imploding on itself, the guy came across as a reminder of just how strong someone can be, needs to be, in order to handle the bad and still shine bright. A hero. Even now, Bakugo can tell he's collecting himself, trying to keep those pieces from falling apart all over again. While he's not going to tell Yuji not to cry if he needs to... he's not going to encourage him to break down again either.
It's a good thing Yuji doesn't voice that internal thought. Bakugo would've given him a blunt "bullshit" defense. It's human to want the pain to end. He's seen heroes give up against adversity and vanish into the shadows. He despises those cowards even if he understands why they'd make such a stupid choice. From what he's seen of Yuji, "give up" doesn't seem a selectable option in his choice of actions. And Bakugo resonates with that 100%. He can't push that button for Yuji anymore than Yuji can push it for him, but he can watch him, stand by his side and be ready to go for when he does inevitably make the selection.
The squeeze gets another repeated motion, fingertips pressing against the back of his hand, no flinching at the claws or different texture along the back of the new arm(s).]
Hmph. I'm not going back without seeing you off, idiot. [Bakugo will be there making sure everyone else gets through the whatever back to their own homes before he goes back to his own. Like a big stubborn hero. There's a small bump as Yuji leans against him, but he doesn't resist it, letting him rest. A permission few people here have ever gotten.]
Urusei. They're fine. One of my classmate's Quirk allows him to harden every part of his body. [Kirishima can end up looking like a monstrous oni when fully hardened. And he'll get even stronger with it as time goes on.] He turns his hands into claws all the time.
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That's not unusual for Yuji; the way that he adopts people into his heart because he knows he might not have long with them, the knowledge of his own pending death warring with the world they've found themselves in as Jujutsu Sorcerers. This place was meant to be different, but if LILITH is going to send them home for brief sparks of time and then drag them back, it means he has to cling to these people as desperately as he can. Their time here is fragile, tenuous, and the idea of losing more people he cares about makes him ache.
Giving in to the urge to be sad when he has people he cares about and wants to support here is still tricky, but he's getting better at it. More people are drawing him out of his shell, getting him to admit to things, forcing him to face his own inner demons - almost literally now - and it means that he can breathe for the first time in what feels like months. Some of that weight is lifting, and he's allowed to want that, and it's okay.
Shaking his head, he closes his eyes, letting himself borrow some of Bakugo's strength. ]
Gonna be the last one here, huh? At least I'll get to give you a proper goodbye. [ Yuji doesn't want to go back without saying his farewells, not to the people who he cherishes most. It's happened once: he'll fight harder next time.
His hands flex, briefly, and he sighs a soft noise. ]
Aah, so you're used to it? I can't turn these off, though, so we're just stuck with it now.
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A year can do a lot to people. Bakugo usually tries to keep people out, finding the idea of friendships and close relationships nothing more than a distraction to his focuses and annoyances when they show up. Too bad he's human. Some people eventually wheedle themselves in by dancing around the prickly parts. And some people just smash through without giving him a chance to blink. Bakugo never intended to get close to the people here; this wasn't his world, wasn't his problem, wasn't his companions. But trying to survive with others in similar situations forges things... things he knows won't be easy to lose when the time comes.
He'll be resolute when it does, knowing there are other lives to save and things to do back home. Bakugo might be the one telling everyone else to get their asses through the whatever, but... part of him won't want to say goodbye. Maybe he'll remember them. Perhaps they'll meet again. He doesn't know. But what he does know is that they'll be going home. That they survived this place safely. And that's the important part for him. Even if some of them managed to pry open his shell and nestle into his hot heart.
As Yuji relaxes some, Bakugo silently admits he's not going to have an easy time saying farewell to him. But they both made a promise not to die on each other. Here or home. It'd better keep. Even across dimensions.]
You better. I'll find a way into your world and blast you through the wall if you don't. [However that's possible. He'll find a way! These assholes did it! Because he's going to survive, he's going to win against All for One, and he's not going to break that promise.
Bakugo looks down at Yuji's hand, thumb running over a knuckle and pressing on it a bit, just to test.] Na-!? Oy, it's not like he's running around holding my hand in Hard Mode!
[Grumpy, defensive (embarrassed) comment. Though Kirishima is certainly the kind of guy who would love hand holding, even with Hardening active.]
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He's glad, that this can be a place of happiness for them rather than a place of pain and hurt. He can admit that what he has found here (the friendship, the companionship, the return of the people he loved most in the world back at his side) is better than what he had left behind. The truth is, of course, that he will have to go back eventually; he'll have to return to save what little he has left. Maybe then LILITH will let him awaken here and live out a new life as whatever kind of hero these Outsiders were meant to be.
Yuji might be ready to die, to play his part in this story, to sacrifice himself to save the others, but he finds a quiet part of himself doesn't want that any more. He has more to live for, beyond saving Megumi, if he's allowed to come back. If his life is the price he has to pay, however... That's fine as well. He can shoulder that burden for those that will live on. It's a strange dichotomy of thoughts in his mind.
Laughing a little, he pushes his weight into Bakugo in lieu of nudging him gently. ]
What, are you saying that other people don't get to hold your hand or anything? I guess I'm special.
[ If only he knew.
The skin is hard, definitely a shift from the softer, calloused skin that Yuji used to have, but the claws are the most alarming part, resting at the end and leaving him feeling a little sour when he looks at them. ]
They might go away after a while. I'm not sure.
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Though pliers to the teeth is the analogy for getting Bakugo to admit an honest positivity about Neo Tokyo and their straights here (he still operates under "kidnapped" mode and due to past experiences, HATES that) it's hard to deny internally there are things he likes about the experiences and relationships he's found here. Some of that lances through with guilt, however, knowing that while he's here, the war in his world, where people are dying, his friends are threatened, his society is breaking, continues to rage. He wants to go back, wants to save as many as he can, to stop the self-destruction of everything...
But now that desire to save also includes new people. Including the one he's sitting next to.
All heroes must be ready and willing to die if it comes down to it, willing to sacrifice themselves and their power to protect and save those in need. Bakugo knows this, yet his pride and power refuses to accept that reality, to the point he feels heroes should be strong enough to never had to reach that point. Willing, yes, but have to, no. The ultimate price for someone else to live... but at what cost to the person who survives with that knowledge of their life's worth. And to those left behind.
Bakugo rocks at the push, grumbling some as he leans to the side, one hand moving to brace on the grass so he doesn't topple over. Tch, this guy's like a dog, pushy for company.]
I'm not saying anything, dammit! [No shit you're special! Stop making this even more awkward! And he has held hands with others before, though each time it's been like this - in that there's a purpose for holding hands. Not just... sitting there holding hands like a doofus. Even though Bakugo's not letting go of that hand. The claws, the hard skin, more pronounced bone, they're vastly different from Yuji's previous hands, draw curiosity, but that's for another time. They're part of Yuji now, and Yuji's Yuji. Who's doing that pouting scowl face. Tch!] It's better than not having hands.
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He focuses on what he has to do because if he thinks about how much it hurts he won't be able to take it.
At least here, in the city, he has something to focus on. He has something he can keep his attention on, because it means that he won't crumble. There are kaiju to fight and people he cares about that he wants to spend time with, and that eases the burden on his heart, even if he might never be able to express it to them properly. He has his sensei, his brother, his friends, the people that mean the most to him - he has a home here.
It might be wrong, to lean so desperately into the happiness that he's been granted, but it's hard not to relish it and wrap his arms around it, to want to keep it. After everything he has been through, this is almost a kind of peace, the sort that he had forgotten about in the weeks of training and loss.
When Bakugo shifts, grumbles, Yuji does lean back a little; his desire for comfort will never come at the cost of his friends being discomforted. ]
Okay, okay. You know that's basically an admission, right?
[ He's only teasing, though, and Yuji sighs, letting his eyes slide shut as he basks in the softness, tenderness of the moment. It feels nice, and some of that uneasy weight disappears from him. Things could be a lot worse: he could have woken up here completely alone, bereft of anyone that he had come to care about. That would have been worse. ]
It's not the only thing that changed. I got some new powers, but I think you'll have to wait and see them on the next mission.
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To do anything less than flies in the face of his ambitions. Defeat is not in the life for the hero Dynamight aims to be.
But life has a way of humbling people, and he's learned a lot about himself in the past year. Bakugo's experiences in this place likewise continue to do that kind of work, showing him the necessity of working together, fostering relationships like teammates and friends (even if he won't verbally admit the latter), and forcing him to content with those feelings. While he refuses to call this place "home" because of his pride and determination to get back to his real home, he accepts this is his place for now.
Eventually he'll come to accept some people will want to remain here. The life here is happier for them, better, and in spite of his own logic, became a new home. Bakugo won't be able to rip that away from them. At best, he can stand by and make sure all those that wish to return can, and those who want to stay... there's plenty to do and live for here. It's not like he can say his own war-torn world isn't the pinnacle of vacation.
When Yuji retreats a slightly, Bakugo glances to the side, though he gives a small tug on the sorcerer's hand to silently tell him he can, you know... keep leaning. He naturally grumbles about showing this softer side of himself. It exists.]
Did you just go deaf? Like hell it is. [The lengths he'll go to deny stuff is amazing. Not that Yuji's wrong. Perhaps there isn't anything he can do to heal the damage in Yuji's new state, or fix things in his world, but if he can brace himself against the pain and weight the other sorcerer is dealing with and lift it, keeping it off his shoulders for a little while, then he'll brace himself and shove it up. That's part of being a hero, supporting the burden of others so they can breathe easier. Part of being a friend too.] Hmph. Gonna keep me in suspense.
[Tempering the impatience to see them now, or soon. Yuji needs time to rest, not get pushed to show his new powers, which seemed to have come at a heavy price.] Let's clear that mission in record time.
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It doesn't seem as if he's going to be able to keep all of those promises.
These are all the kinds of things that he can't express to people like Bakugo, who would argue with him fiercely. The fact that Bakugo is so determined to see him as 'human' when he feels like something else, when Shoko had told him that he was more like a cursed object than he was a human. It made sense, given the fact that he had been a vessel for so long, but that doesn't mean it made him all that happy.
The tug grabs his attention, and he leans in, sinking back against Bakugo. His friend can carry the burden of his weight, for a while, and he lets himself enjoy the relaxing of his shoulders absently.
It could be worse. He could be more monstrous, could have come back far more broken than this. ]
Yeah, yeah, like hell. I get it. [ That's Bakugo in a nutshell. He can't take it personally, because he knows this really is special. ] I think you'll probably be either super impressed or think it's kind of weird.
[ Either way, it'll be an experience. ]
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Bakugo can and will never see Yuji as anything other than human. No matter what some asshole says, even some fucking stitch-headed bastard walking in with "proof" of some creation, he'll stick with his trust in Yuji's humanity. He can house a curse, grow demon-looking arms, have his DNA rewritten to be... fuck knows what. Even tell the hero to his face that he's not human. Bakugo still won't give up on him. Yuji's Yuji. A person. Not some "thing" for someone's purpose.
Damn right he'll argue.
As Yuji leans back into him, Bakugo looks up at the stars above them, taking comfort in feeling the other boy's shoulders relax. Life's been shit to a lot of people, hasn't it...]
Tch. Don't make me say what you already know. [Okay well, Yuji knowing something might be a stretch. But Bakugo's stubborn. Just gonna face the stars until the faint heat on his face goes away.]
There's a guy in my world with a centipede for a head and another asshole can shoot glue out of his face. Gonna have to try hard to be weird, Gari Head.
[Odds are he'll finds it fascinating, because Bakugo's a closeted nerd about powers.]
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[ They both know people with weird and unusual abilities, don't they? Most of his friends - Megumi, Kugisaki, the others like that - seem to have niche, cool abilities that he'd always been envious of. The more sorcerers he meets, though, the weirder it gets, as if the further away from the Tokyo school the stranger people are.
He thought people in the school were weird enough, honestly.
It's getting easier and easier to relax the longer he's next to his friend, all that pent-up tension shifting and bleeding out until Yuji's shoulders aren't hunched up to his ears any more and are, instead, hanging loose. He should've gone to see Bakugo straight away, he thinks, because if there's anyone in the world who would be able to beat some sense into him, physically or just by talking, it would be this friend right here. He just wasn't ready for that until now.
Sighing softly, he closes his eyes and tilts his head back, just a little. ]
I have to try harder to be weirder than "the guy who ate fifteen fingers" anyway, right?
[ A soft, sad laugh. How about the guy who maybe(?) ate his own brothers to get stronger? ]
I know what you're going to say, but thanks anyway, Bakugo.
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[And yet many of those weirdos are friends and allies who use those weird things to fight with them and for them. Bakugo had never been envious of someone else's Quirk while he grew up, but it was Todoroki's pure show of power with his Quirk that for the first time cowed Bakugo into awe, wondering how the hell he was supposed to match that. He never forgot that feeling. A wretched reality check for the big fish from a small pond.
How much would it be for people like Yuji and Midoriya who came from no powers to suddenly have them...
Talking about home has always been something Bakugo tried to avoid here, as the nostalgia and homesickness clenches at him hard. Yet, in moments like these, home brings a comfort that's impossible to find elsewhere. As Yuji relaxes, and he feels it against his shoulder, Bakugo also finds a release in the other boy's presence and words. He thinks he should've reached out to Yuji earlier, no matter how many people were already there. A hero often unnecessarily interferes with other people's business simply because a hero wants to help ease someone's burden. But no... Yuji needed the time. This is fine right now.
Bakugo squeezes Yuji's hand lightly, tilting himself a little to lean against the other boy as well. The comment gets a brief scoff from the blonde, but he lets the sorcerer have his added say.]
Wow. You come back with psychic abilities too.
[Grumpy, but completely lacking any anger. There's more weight on Yuji's shoulders, he can tell, but at least the guy's letting Bakugo support him for a while. A small quiet passes between them before Bakugo turns his head and looks at Yuji's profile.]
You did what you did to protect someone. Nothing's weirder than putting your life on the line for another person. [Logically it goes against the very idea/goal of living. How much weirder can you get than that?] So thanks for being weird, Itadori.
[Hero.]
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[ He always seemed pretty down to earth in comparison to a lot of their peers, so... Maybe that's what happens when you're a stuffed animal brought to life by a cursed technique? Yuji can empathise a little - he got his cursed abilities from eating a finger to begin with, after all.
The problem with Yuji will always be that he will never be able to seek people out and ask for help - he's not able to share his burdens, not able to express his hurts because he doesn't want to cause more problems. It hurts to think that he has to do it alone, but he doesn't at the same time - developing, growing, trying to be better.
Trying. Failing. He's not sure if he can keep going, but he doesn't have a choice.
Sighing softly, he shakes his head, letting himself have this. Letting himself bask in Bakugo and his quiet, easy friendship. ]
Hah, you think so? I keep doing it, so I must be super weird...
[ He's long since accepted that. Still... ]
You don't need to thank me, dandelion. Silly.
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[Roll around and eat bamboo and get a ton of pictures in the zoo? The idea of a fighting panda seems ridiculous. But something tells him this panda isn't like a normal panda... which would make him the weirdest for not even being what he biologically is. A lot about that Bakugo doesn't know, so he's just making generalizations in his head.
Bakugo's never been one to seek other people out either. He hates admitting he needs help because it makes him look vulnerable, refuses to ask for it because it makes him appear weak, and strives to handle his problems on his own because self-reliance is paramount to strength and victory. Sharing his burdens is just as chaffing as sharing his successes. But unlike Yuji's resistance to sharing his burdens stemming from a tender heart, Bakugo's stems from his pride. At least he's improving...
As he talks with Yuji now, he acknowledges the other boy is improving as well. He won't give up no matter how many times he fails, and Bakugo resonates with that drive, as he'd rather burn himself out completely in pursuit of victory than admit defeat.]
Yeah. Super fucking weird. [Which in this conversation, has turned into a a tongue in cheek compliment. Bakugo growls softly when Yuji takes the gratitude literally. Figures.] Shut up and take it.
[Yuji's done a lot for other people. He can thank him for doing that if he damn well wants.]