synflux | ( open & closed ) all of my enemies started out friends

[ Sharing this is still so daunting, so sad, and it makes Yuji heave a sigh as he tries to lock it all away again.

The grief is real. The sadness and pain and hope is real. It’s what proves that, despite all the strange things that have happened to him, he’s still human in his own way. He’s still Yuji Itadori, in spite of all his suffering and losses and pain. He can grasp that with both hands and keep it.

Raidou cuts him off, accepts it, doesn’t scold him or punish him or tell him to quit. Doesn’t force Yuji to sink into his guilt, and it makes him feel such a sweet relief, because… He understands. Raidou understands.

Nodding his head, he leans in for another soft kiss, slower, a little deeper. Pouring those positive emotions into his boyfriend and not stopping until he’s breathless. ]

I don’t want to be here without you either. I… I want to spend as much time with you as I can. To cherish you for as long as I can. You mean so much to me.

[ Another kiss, then. ]

I want to do everything with you. Anything.

[He's so overwhelmed, with the long kiss helping ground him, only stopping to catch his breath. But it only continues when Yuji says adoring things, feeling like his heart could burst at any second. Here they sit, the most vulnerable they could possibly be, Yuji still finds a way to make him melt anew.

How bittersweet it all is, knowing that their time here together could end at any time.

A finger traces lightly down Yuji's back, over his spine. If they continued to sit here like this, things could get, let's say, compromising.]

Me too. [Whatever Raidou can do to make this boy even one iota happier, to keep that smile he loves seeing so much on his face.]

[ The soft touch to his skin is grounding, calming, and Yuji comes back to himself slowly. Raidou might be glad that he’d shared how he felt, but that doesn’t mean Yuji isn’t embarrassed or saddened by it all the same. The hollow feeling will never go away forever, but he’s filled with the warmth of his affection for Raidou.

He hopes that he felt it, understood it, behind the sadness. That the way he feels for his boyfriend is blindingly obvious despite his grief.

Nuzzling in for another kiss, he sighs softly, relieved and happy as the smile curves. ]

You really are the best, Johei. Kissing you is super addicting.

[ Move on from the sadness and back to the tender warmth of a first proper relationship. ]

[Someday, maybe, Raidou will do the same on his end. Turn on the ring, and let Yuji get a glimpse of the depths that hide under the still waters of Raidou's expressions. Does he have the right to burden him with his feelings when Yuji is still drowning in his own? Or would he want help pull him above it, like Raidou is with his? He'll be thinking about this for a long while to come.

That comment gets a smile back on Raidou, too. Those smiles, the shy blushes he gets when Yuji says all those sweet things to him, those are things reserved only for Yuji.]

Yeah? That's good, because I really can't seem to get enough of them, either.

You’re gonna make me say something super lame if you keep this up.

[ Not that Yuji is complaining, really.

It’s too easy to get caught up in this, especially when they’re already in a situation that breeds intimacy, curled together in a hot spring and relaxing after suffering so much pain. Yuji avoids thinking of the mission, of the difficulties, the way they’d pushed themselves and focuses on this instead.

Raidou, curled up with him, cheeks flushed and lips kiss soft. It’s a memory to treasure.

He takes one more kiss, much slower and softer than the others, drawing it out. He can’t help but to want more, crave more, seeking the gentle pleasure of moments together like this, his heart thrumming a dangerous rhythm in his chest. He’s never wanted to kiss anyone like this before, to do stupid teenage stuff like make out or whatever.

Raidou makes him want to do a lot of silly stuff. ]

How is that different from normal? [Congrats on receiving the Raidou Joke of the Week!

A kiss like this is enough to get lost in, and Raidou doesn't notice at first how he's leaning back, making more space for Yuji against him, hand absently moving down from his neck to his chest...

When it finally breaks is when it all hits him, his face considerably flushed. As much as he's enjoying this, as nice as it would be to stay here all day-- well.]

We... ah. We should get out, yeah?

Rude…

[ He’s still smiling though. It’s small, and soft, but it’s real and it’s there.

The truth is that Yuji doesn’t really want to get out, he doesn’t want to stop kissing, or being this close, but he’s aware it’s a bad idea to stay where they are. It’ll get them into some kind of trouble, and he’s already caused Raidou enough problems today by baring his soul.

Leaning in for another quick kiss, his own cheeks red as he shifts away. He’s not going anywhere and neither is his Johei. They have time to figure out what they want to do. There’s time for them to… Maybe.

He’s embarrassed to think about it. ]

Um, do - do you want to go first again?

[Well, he certainly doesn't seem like he's in a rush, and Raidou hesitates a moment before letting out a content sigh with a nod. That's fine. Once he moves aside to do so, he playfully covers up Yuji's eyes with the palm of his hand for a moment. Then he'll get out, grab his towel, and head back to the changing room, sparing a glance over his shoulder.]

[ Yuji can’t help but splutter a little laugh, letting Raidou tease him - he wouldn’t peek, really - and giving him a moment to get out and get covered before he’s going to do the same. His arm definitely feels a little more relaxed now and he huffs a pleased sigh, stretching both above his head with a pleased hum.

Then he gets his towel and heads in to change, tugging on his clothes and practically stumbling back out into the main room. ]

Lunch now, right?

[The spring water is exactly what Raidou's muscles needed, so much tension finally released. He didn't realize how bad it had been until he got out of the water.

Raidou slips back on his hat and his robe, and slides and arm around one of Yuji's as they head back to their room. The can let the proprietors know they're out and ready to eat.]

Mm. I'm starving.

[The owners are ready shortly with food, always glad to have customers around to feed. Won't they be surprised next week when the whole base practically shows up over two days.]

[ Yuji can't help the way he leans into Raidou, sneaks into his personal space, wants to take and take, almost possessive with it despite not really having a jealous bone in his body. It just makes him... Feel good, to be near Raidou, to know he's safe, that... They're okay, together.

When they're sat, he moves his place mat as close to Raidou's as he can get, as it he'd sit in his lap to eat. ]

This was a really good idea.

[Only Yuji could get into his personal space like this, and he's more than welcome. It's nice to get to be this close to someone, to have the feeling be mutual as well. A summoner's life is a lonely one, and back home Raidou was grateful to have the few friends and allies he had. Here, he had so many friends. He had Yuji.

He nods in agreement, that light, warm smile never wavering.]

We really needed it. After all that.

[Not just physically, but everything the mission put them through. Speaking of, there was one part of that Raidou wanted to bring up, even if he really wasn't too keen on talking about that battle as a whole yet.]

Ah... I do owe your brother quite a bit. I don't think I mentioned that during this mission, we tried something. We formed a pact, as like a summoner with a demon. I wasn't sure it would work, but it did.

[Quite well, too.]

[ Yuji is happy to settle down, to shuffle close to Raidou as he prepares their plates, happily putting food on both and passing them over. There are a couple of things on there that are on Raidou's plate and not his - clearly, he's been paying attention to preferences.

When Raidou keeps talking, though... He hesitates for a moment, lowering his chopsticks and tilting his head. ]

A... Pact?

[ Is that... A title surge of jealousy? Is he jealous over Raidou, or of Choso? He can't figure out which one it is, and instead he tilts his head, letting his thoughts settle around in. A pact, between a summoner and a demon... Is a curse like a demon?

Is Yuji more curse than person, or more object than person?

The thoughts twirl around in his mind briefly before he breathes out. ]

What... Does the pact mean? What does it do?

[He nods. It's such a normal thing to Raidou, that to him, it doesn't seem like a big deal. Only in that it's the first one he's made while here, something he thought might not have been possible.]

We work together. I lend them my mag-- ah, my energy, essentially. In exchange for helping me, they get more energy to use their skills, more strength to fight. Some demons can heal, or can see things I can't, or are good at finding things I can't. Choso is an incredibly powerful fighter, so using my energy to power his blood abilities. And he backed me up.

[And it was the most Raidou felt like himself since he arrived in Neo Tokyo, fighting along a contracted ally, boosting one another to fight even better than before.

Choso had sensed the energy in Raidou, and had asked.]

... It was his idea, really. I figured we had nothing to lose in trying. And it worked.

[ He shifts a little, considering. It's normal to Raidou, but to Yuji it feels as if it's something special - a level that he can't reach, despite all the strength that he has inside of him. Are Raidou and Choso bonded now, able to feel and sense one another? If Choso can use Raidou's energy to fight...

He's pensive as he thinks, swallowing the odd, flustering feeling inside of him. Jealousy or envy, he can't tell which one it is. ]

That sounds like it's really useful. I know Choso-nii is strong, so it's good that you can do that to take care of each other. I'm sure he likes it, too.

[ Choso likes being useful, so...

He turns back to his meal, taking a slow bite. ]

I'd like to see it, one day.

[Raidou is hardly adept at reading the feelings of others, but it's obvious on someone like Yuji, even if he's not quite sure what it is st first.]

Of course.

[Yuji's mood shift makes Raidou blink at him for a moment, head slightly cocked knin thought. Was he upset? Why would he be? He thought Yuji would have loved this whole idea. Hmm.

After another moment, Raidou leans in to get in Yuji's space, peering at him from under his hat brim.]

... Next mission, do you want to try it?

[ Yuji, for all that he is good at hiding the depth of his loss and sadness, clearly isn't that good at hiding his jealousy or frustration, and he blinks as he turns back over to Raidou.

He's so close now... He blushes a little, trying to smile - it comes out a little awkward. ]

You - huh? Wha?

[ Was he that transparent... ]

... A pact? Me and you?

I can't guarantee it will work, but... [It did with Choso, so maybe there's a chance?]

As I said, there is no loss in trying.

[He stays close, smiling. Don't be envious, you silly boy.]

Think about it, hmm?

[ The smile gets him, the promise gets him, and something wells up inside of Yuji.

He's been alone for a while. The list of people he's lost keeps growing (Junpei, Nanamin, Kugisaki, Gojo-sensei, Higuruma-san, Megumi) but he doesn't want to stop making those connections, making those friends, die surrounded by people, don't die alone -

Reaching out, his arms wrap around Raidou as he almost falls into him, enough that if they're not careful they'll end up on the floor, something like tears prickling at his eyes as he sniffles.

Yuji thinks of himself as a monster, a cog in a machine, something to play a role in the world. Maybe this should solidify that for him, but instead... He feels special. Wanted. His face presses into Raidou, forehead against his jaw as he tries to squeeze, forgetting about his strength briefly. ]

I want to.

[ A sniffle. ]

I want to make a pact with you, Johei.

[Raidou's not expecting such a reaction, and just barely manages to catch Yuji as he falls onto him. That something so usual to Raidou could mean so much to Yuji... It was a little overwhelming to him too.

Raidou gently wraps his arms around Yuji, hand on the back of his head, comfortingly. Don't worry about squeezing him. Raidou's stronger than he looks. Yuji can hear the warmth, the smile on his voice.]

Yeah. I want to too. I just didn't want to make you a promise I wasn't sure I could keep.

[Maybe this really is the way he's meant to help here after all.]

But we're in this together. Right?

[ It's normal and usual for Raidou, but for Yuji... There's a meaning to it that he can't parse, that he can't express, flickering through him and making him feel warm inside out.

Knowing that Raidou is smiling for him, because of him, makes him blink back his tears, even if one slips out. The last week has been so fought, so deeply emotional that he can't keep himself under wraps, can't stop himself from leaning in and nuzzling into his boyfriend, tilting his head up to kiss him so, so tenderly. ]

We can try. That's good enough for me.

[ A breathless, happy little laugh follows. ]

We're together. We're going to be together.

[ He leans in for another kiss, a little harder, losing himself to it briefly; at the same time his hand seeks Raidou's, to where the ring is, linking their fingers and squeezing. ]

[Raidou has no words for him, nothing but fond looks between kisses, and wiping that tear away with a thumb across his cheek. What must it be like to have tears that come so easily?

He too is lost for a moment, forgetting where they are, what the outside world was up to; how could he think of those things when Yuji kisses him so strongly, so full of need? Who wouldn't want to get lost in such a feeling?

Raidou deepens the kiss, wanting more, leaning back and pulling Yuji closer with him. The temptation to push away from the table, down to the tatami floor is so tempting, the thought making him hold Yuji's hand tighter.]

[ It's impossible not to fall into it, to the need - the urge - to show Raidou how strangely important this moment is to him, how much it fills his heart with a happiness and a glee that floods him and makes him feel alive. The last few weeks (at home, flickered back by the whims of LILITH) had been so lonely, so isolating, burning with a sadness that's inescapable, but this...

This makes him feel better. He feels whole, and human, and cherished, and he feels the utter joy of knowing that Raidou likes him as much as he does in return.

Following where his boyfriend leads, he slides into his space, wraps around him, following the movement of their bodies as he lets himself deepen the kiss. His fingers squeeze, his other arm wrapping around him as best as he can, deepening the kiss and chasing the feeling.

Yuji wants to memorise this: the way Raidou feels against him, the sharpness of their kisses, the heat of his blush on his cheeks as he chases it. ]

[Raidou's emotions are running as hot as they probably ever have in his life, and on a day when they've gone from the lowest to the highest he's quite possibly ever experienced. Chasing this feeling is hard to stop, especially after knowing the grief and anguish deep with in Yuji - within them both. Was it so wrong to give into this, even just for a little bit?

Temptation wins out. Raidou hesitantly unlinks their hands, so he can use his to grab the front of Yuji's onsen robe and pull him back with him to the floor. He refuses to let the kiss break, only finally stop long enough moments later to catch his breath, looking up at Yuji wide-eyed as he does. He can't believe he did that.

What if that was too far? He doesn't regret it, but... those 1920s sensibilities sometimes rear their ugly head.

He has no words. Why can't he ever think of what to say, even when he really wants to speak? Raidou only looks up at Yuji, breathless and heart pounding. He takes a hand to cup his cheek, thumb lightly tracing along the scar that runs down his face.]

[ Yuji lets himself sink down into the kiss immediately, no hesitation, leaning down onto the floor with Raidou. He kisses him and kisses him, letting their bodies slot together as he tilts his head, lifting his hand to touch his cheek and hold him there. It's wonderful, it's perfect, and he can't help but want more and more of it, to be utterly consumed by the simple joy of kissing someone he cares this much about.

It's hard to resist temptation, to stop himself from continuing to kiss him, because they haven't broached this, have they? They've confirmed they're boyfriends, have matching rings, but moving forward... Is this the kind of thing that merits a discussion? That he should say he's okay with? Should he be the one reaching out to say that he doesn't mind, that he wants, yearning for this connection that's wrapping around him and making him feel soft?

Raidou leans back and Yuji shifts, their faces still close, and he licks his lips. Head tilting into Raidou's touch, he smiles. ]

Hey. [ Turning his head, he presses a soft, gently kiss against his palm. ] Is... Are you okay... With this?

[ The kiss... ]

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