synflux | [closed] we shape our buildings; thereafter, they shape us

[ A systematic approach would have been preferable, but there was hardly any time to confirm the exact layout of the premises and every generator to locate. There certainly hasn't been enough time to form balanced teams to distribute their efforts among these locations. Instead, the resulting countermeasures to respond to the latest threat are rather spontaneous, generator upon generator to find and disable amidst the mounting chaos.

Some indication of the remaining number would be ideal as well. The lack thereof is becoming as distracting as the inability to monitor others' whereabouts with ease, aside from resorting to the implants, repeated interruptions that risk further distraction.

Pausing to reorient himself, Yesod is forced to acknowledge that the entire combination has him on edge. It's then that he notices the same faint sound that he hasn't been able to place thus far, something separate from the very air crackling with electricity. It grows louder this time, no longer a whisper of buzzing in the background, distinctly nearby.

It lets him trace it to its source soon enough, to catch sight of the unfolding scene. ]

...Malkuth—

[ He calls out to her, taken aback by her appearance, if not her methods, as her weapon sinks into its target. ]

[ the buzzing remains present as her eyes lift, a splendid gold with more vertical pupils than she really should have, and her sharp-toothed grin might not be as reassuring as she'd hoped. they're hungry, they're hungry... spoiled, scarred meat tastes bad. fresh, clean meat tastes good.

...

what can she say...? ]

The smell of death'll just attracted more of them, you know? So I'm just taking it away.

[ not untrue. it would. it could even draw other things, but more than that she's just a little impatient and hungry. maybe it comes out in the strained cheer of her words, a sense of wanting to be left alone in their urgency... and the harsher tug of her scythe as she starts back along. ]

It's my job to protect you, so just go back to working. I'll be back before you know it!

[ Malkuth's argument sounds reasonable, but her expression contradicts reason, and so does the odd quality to her voice. It's not quite the same inappropriate brightness in moments that were far from bright — still, it reminds Yesod of those times. Then there are Malkuth's wings, not an unfamiliar sight. He has new questions to ask, though he keeps them to himself for now. Now isn't the time to seek an explanation for Malkuth's unexpected transformation.

Malkuth hauls the carcass along; Yesod follows. Malkuth may insist that it falls to her to watch over her coworkers, and she possesses abilities that they don't — evidently even beyond the equipment provided to their employees — but Yesod's misgivings aren't laid to rest. ]

We can dispose of it while I locate the next generator.

[ And he can observe Malkuth in this form. ]

... Ugh, you're so annoying.

[ the rift might make her that much more rude, but it's not like she's never scolded even yesod before. malkuth knows they're supposed to be capturing these guys rather than killing them, but maybe LILITH won't punish her too badly if it's in self defense; it's reasonable that not all of them would stay alive amidst combat, and despite malkuth's complaint she doesn't leave her coworker behind as she flies along.

no, she's still very much keeping her eyes on him and the surrounding area, blue blood staining the ground matching the darker ones on her suit. she's keeping an on eye on him, and when she speaks next it isn't as annoyed, more quiet. ]

It's different being on the field, huh?

[ Malkuth's remark glances off him — "annoying" is nowhere near the worst thing that others have called him, and it isn't especially surprising that Malkuth finds his intervention irritating, if she perceives it as questioning her ability to complete the task at hand on her own. Most likely, she could quicken her pace to give him no say in the matter, leaving him to wait for her return. Her intention must have been to protect both him and Netzach without their knowledge.

And yet, Malkuth hasn't flitted away. Yesod plans to avoid drawing attention to himself, of course, considering that his components wouldn't withstand the Yamadenki's attacks or any more direct encounters with the traps hidden around the area, but he divides his own attention between Malkuth and their surroundings, the ground to cross. ]

...It is.

[ Perhaps it feels as though they can make a difference, like this, albeit in another world. ]

It was still our employees who lost their lives, when we stood against Angela. Now... you have a single human body.

And five EGOs to make use of, so don't worry about me.

[ of all people, don't worry about her. she's strong. she can handle it. she'll bear it all again, and again, and again. they don't need to think of anything but having fun. living freely. understanding themselves, growing, the way they should've always been able to.

she will, too. when she's not... this, dropping the body by a wall and staring down at it with a sort of odd longing. hunger. ]

It's different than the Gifts our employees got from the Abnormalities. Can you please look away, Yesod? I don't need you judging me right now.

[ As far as Yesod is concerned, there were risks to keep in mind then, and there are risks to keep in mind now. It's as if Malkuth has partially fused with an Abnormality, going beyond wearing an extracted suit and wielding extracted weapons, and while it's clear that she has repeatedly made use of these abilities at her disposal (are they all capable of the same, in the future?), precisely that remains cause for concern, the toll. The look that settles over Malkuth's features tells him as much.

Yesod doesn't look away. What good would that do? If Malkuth requests it of him to escape an awareness of his predicted disapproval, acquiescing would only isolate her even further, one more painful barrier to reinforce the others.

The strangeness of his existence here feels cruel enough. The boundaries to maintain between themselves and their first incarnations are taxing enough, too, without an Abnormality's voice added to the mix. ]

...No.

[ This isn't the past repeating itself — all the more reason for his own actions to reflect that. ]

What is there to hide by now, Malkuth?

... I'm trying to save you the sight of your coworker chowing down on some mostly dead stranger, Yesod.

[ mostly dead. she'd thought the hybrid was thoroughly done, but there's still the lightest bit of breath; all the better, the fairies sigh in mind. fresh meat is the best.

malkuth crouches down and picks up a hand, somewhat reptilian and somewhat not. she feels her mouth salivating in anticipation and swallows it down, irritated. at him, at the abnormality's voice in her mind, at herself. such soft flesh amidst the scales...

she forces herself to speak. trying to sound less annoyed, however successful it isn't. ]

There's nothing to hide. It's just payment for using F-04-83. Um, Fairy Festival. I don't have to do this in the Library -- there's a natural barrier between us and the Abnormalities, just like a L Corp. -- but... here, it's a little more taxing.

[ admittedly more than a little, in some cases. but that's why she'd gone with the ZAYIN abnormality and not something far more heavy hitting: her mind can stand this for hours more, chewed at rather than torn into. ]

[ Yesod's gaze stays trained on Malkuth, tracking her movements as she reaches for the transformed stranger's limp hand. Whether or not he witnesses it, the Abnormality will demand its expected payment in exchange for the borrowed abilities in use.

F-04-83, Fairy Festival. The Abnormality Records immediately come to mind, the product of his department's work to analyze and profile the Abnormalities — and to manipulate and release information selectively, as ordered. He'd remained silent then, just as he did after Enoch and Carmen and Elijah, and paltry gestures were no better than stricter rules and regulations after the fact. ]

If you acknowledge that there is nothing to hide, are you asking me to look away for my sake or yours?

[ I don't need you judging me right now, Malkuth said, but she has already revealed what will follow.

Once, a long time ago, he'd expressed his condolences, and in the same breath, he had called Ayin careless, pinned the blame for irreversible incidents on things that didn't address the root cause, the truth of the disease incubating beneath the surface to spread among their team. What did monitoring supply room keys and the like more closely ever achieve, in the end?

The existing weight of every sin on their conscience is heavy enough. ]

[ malkuth opens her mouth to answer; her stomach complains loudly, as if the abnormality's whining had manifested in that way. her mouth shuts and she stares down at the flesh and scales, finger digging into soft. it doesn't give. the fairies sigh pleasantly in her mind.

...

it's always for his sake. everything she does is for his, for netzach's. why can't he just turn away? it's not like she's asking for much. does he even know much she's starving? clawing out her own insides for over a month, now, trying to expel every bit of rot that claims she's in the wrong; does he understand how much it hurts? hunger pangs are far beyond him, heart pangs perhaps closer in that metal form of his, but...

... but still, the words remain behind her tightly pressed smile and she swallows again, the words and saliva going with it. isn't it enough to know they're fine from afar? it is, it is. she's not starving at all. she's filled that space with so many other people now, so why does she still feel so empty more times than not? ]

... Fine. That's your choice then, Yesod. Take a seat and let me eat -- they're really, really grating.

[ she's not apologetic for the irritation that seeps in her tone because of it either, or the rift's worsening of her mood. instead, malkuth's simply going to be testing what place would be easiest to slice from with her nails and taking her serrated scythe to it.

methodical, like malkuth's notes. but impatient, like malkuth herself.

they're not nice cuts, and the hybrid's jerk in half-consciousness mingles their blood as she catches hand in the mix. but she still presses down harder on the arm, unfeeling of the pain that mimics the wretch in her chest, avoiding yesod's gaze entirely as she works to make a pile easier for her to eat that the fairies wouldn't need at all with their carnivorous smiles. ]

[ It is his choice to watch every second; he positions himself where he can do so, seated by the wall on the other side of the dying hybrid. The jagged teeth of Malkuth's scythe tear into flesh, severing tendons and nerves, gleaming with freshly-spilled blood. The fairies must be urging Malkuth not to keep them waiting. They simply devoured whatever they could of their targets, after all, and their preference might be for Malkuth to forgo cutting the meat intended as payment into manageable portions, to slice the body open and help herself to the organs within.

Yesod watches Malkuth's expression, her altered features. She gave in unwillingly, without answering his question. He watches Malkuth's hands.

When Elijah died, her remains were treated as nothing more than a specimen to dissect, a source of findings to demonstrate the need for further testing and adjustments. And then, much later, what was preserved of her was reused.

Ayin handled all of them clinically, Yesod thinks. But then, the disgust and the anger haven't wholly dissipated; perhaps that thought fails to consider that even Ayin may have found his chosen path unbearable, yet there was no alternative and no turning back. ]

[ malkuth wishes, as she chews at a slice of flesh, that she was stronger. she thinks of vergilius's remark that her mental fortitude must be strong to use five of them, and she hadn't agreed nor denied it; she had let it remain a mystery, just another unspoken thing between them. but she isn't strong enough in the end.

that's why she's sitting here, quiet except for the disgusting smack of eating, frustration and irritation at herself, at yesod, at herself again more than anything or anyone else pricks at the corners of her eyes. they don't fall, but they sting regardless. they don't fall, but her heart drops into the bottom of her empty stomach with each bit of human that goes in too.

malkuth feels the fairies pull. these aren't thick with blood like anything inside would be. why not go for those first? we're hungry, we're hungry, we took care of you, so take care of us.

she's used them for hours. she shouldn't beat herself up. but even so, maybe if she was stronger, they wouldn't be so persistent so loud, so eager to make a fool of her in front of the person she doesn't want to worry any -- that she wants to worry over instead, to show she's fine and reliable and she can handle it, even if. handling it is just this.

malkuth feels her throat tighten and she sniffles despite herself, shaking her head as she slices the hybrid's belly open finally. as easily as one might butter, picking at the natural layer of fat and membrane that holds things together as she speaks quietly. ]

... It doesn't taste as good as I thought it would, after hearing some of our guests marvel at their own culinary creations.

[ but it was also a mistake to talk, she finds, because in that quietness is a wavering tone that betrays her more dismayal mood. ]

[ The sounds of battle grow distant while Malkuth's chewing mouthful after mouthful of flesh fills the foreground until she speaks. No, even before that, it wasn't quiet — to Yesod's ears (to his components receiving and processing auditory input), Malkuth abruptly inhales sharply before she makes the next cut to access the hybrid's still-fresh innards. The telltale noise is discordant. So is Malkuth's voice before long, trembling as though her emotions are welling up to spill out of her, try as she might to restrain them.

During their time in Lobotomy Corporation, Malkuth never sounded like this. (Did Elijah, in her final moments...? Even prior to that day?)

Would it be worse to acknowledge it or to leave it alone? ]

...Malkuth.

[ The true issue is complex, unrelated to the flavor of this type of meat — raw or cooked, unseasoned or seasoned, it would change nothing.

Yesod has no handkerchief or packet of tissues to offer Malkuth, and he knows that his presence provides no more comfort to anyone now than it did when he feigned indifference. But he remembers the taste of despair, rotting from within, the lonely darkness closing over one's head. There are sins not to forget, things not to tolerate any longer. He thinks again that Malkuth shouldn't be left to choke down all of the pain by herself.

Reaching out — an attempt to steer Malkuth's attention away from the fairies' demands and her thoughts, to direct it to her humanity in spite of everything — Yesod's fingertips brush against Malkuth's cheek, thumb wiping away a smear of blood there. ]

[ malkuth pauses briefly at the call of her name, but she stills completely at the touch to her cheek, bare as it is. near to gentle, almost, in its restraint; a single act, foreign in general but especially from yesod. fixing one's clothes is a world's difference to this.

it threatens her heart, squeezes the tears from the corners of her eyes until they drip down and she wants so, so so sosososososo so badly to lean into it, strange as the motion is,

but she finds herself flinching away. flinched away, even, dragging the meal from him with warm cheeks and trembling hands. ]

Don't... Stop that. [ it sounds a contradiction, the words lost between. or does she mean it?

she's so hungry. or thirsty. she feels parched. ] I...

[ she's fine. she is. she has to be. this is proof he doesn't think she is, that she can't handle herself once more. so why can't she say so? why, instead, does her cheek burn where he'd stained himself with blood? ]

[ For a fleeting fraction of a second, while Malkuth goes still, Yesod's fingers — too convincing and disconcerting an illusion — maintain the contact. They register more than he expects, once again, presumably because the cloaking technology is designed to enable its user to blend in with ordinary humans, possibly even simulating certain sensory receptors to ensure appropriate responses to one's surroundings. Malkuth's tears, turning her lashes wet and tracking thin glistening trails down her cheeks, mix with the blood coating Yesod's thumb.

And then Malkuth recoils, as if to jerk away from a blow or a scorching flame or the bite of an unpleasantly cold surface. Yesod's hand remains outstretched a moment longer, giving it the appearance of reaching for Malkuth, beckoning to her. The sight is, without a doubt, as strange as the touch that came before it — Yesod is acutely aware of it himself.

Finally, he lowers his hand. His body lacks a heart, but something clenches where it might reside, his mind all too capable of emotion, and he recognizes this powerlessness. ]

...That was my choice as well.

[ But it has accomplished nothing positive. ]

[ his choices are stupid, she wants to say, words caught in her tight throat instead. the heel of her hand comes up to wipe at her tears before she shakes her head, chest aching, and droops as she digs into the cavity of the body. ]

... You're lucky you're a hunk of metal, [ after a moment, shaky and a little sulky, ] or I would've taken your finger off.

[ even if she wouldn't have really. dedicated to keeping her friends safe, swearing to march she'd never hurt her and wanting to promise the same to yesod now. but the contact had eased her hunger somewhat, irritatingly, annoyingly, and she presses her hands into hot blood to try and capture the warmth before. she can't ask it of him.

she can't, she won't, so she doesn't. she answers his question from before instead, once the soft tissue has slide down her throat and she's resisted the natural human urge to gag on it. ]

... My sake. I don't want one of your memories to be... this, about me.

[closed] we shape our buildings; thereafter, they shape us

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some lobotomy corporation spoilers

its cannibalism and dismemberment from here on out folks

human experimentation references... truly a projmoon thread

we really could not get more

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