synflux | [closed] we shape our buildings; thereafter, they shape us

One day you'll have to face the truth.

[ He's making a face at her. Tongue out and all. ]

Reliable's good. Strong is... optional, I suppose? I can't say I like patient people, because that idiot Han Sooyoung... Ah, shit. I said her name. [ Tongue click. ]

Man. What if this means I'm just not picky? Is that a bad thing? I wonder...

[ oh, he's into her? that's fun. malkuth can work with that come girl's night time. ]

No, I think it's just because you don't have a lot of experience! Neither do I, but I've been actively trying to figure out what I like since March said it's important to have an idea of it. For sleepovers!

[ happily said... for sleepovers. ]

Have you ever tried bungee-jumping before?

[ He's gonna pretend he didn't feel that. ]

I guess we're the same in that regard, huh. [ 'Sleepovers' has him Thinking™, so he keeps the rest of his commentary about experience. to himself. ]

I have. I like high places. Bungee-jumping, parachuting, skydiving, jumping off buildings... It's fun. There's something about the sensation of falling that's... exciting.

[ wow, they have so much in common...

... him and hsy, that is. ]

I've never tried it, but I'd like to sometime... Flying's fun enough for me right now.

[ even if she can't do it as often. given.

her drink's gone now. that was definitely downed faster. and malkuth? feels fine. totally good actually. this is definitely not a pattern. ]

Wanna hit the floor?

[ sorry the bungee jumping question was absolutely nothing she wanted to actually talk about she just wanted to ask. for her friend's sake. ]

[ Fifth date idea, then. ]

Fifth date idea, then. [ Stupid.

Kaito tugs the empty glasses away. Shakes his head. Stands up. ] Wait a minute for me.

[ The next thirty seconds are filled with (relative) silence as the dragon saunters his way across the dance floor—and up on stage after the band finishes their current tune ends. There's a bit of back and forth between Kaito and the vocalist, followed by the pair tapping their wrists together.

He slinks his way back to Malkuth and offers his hands. A new song starts up... ]

Yes. I'd like to hit the floor with you.

[ malkuth rests her head on her arms while he goes, watching after him curiously, before she rolls her eyes and sits up when he comes back. ]

You really know how to set a mood.

[ what a pleasant song... she'll take his hands and help herself up, giggling a bit when she stumbles into him. oh. there it is. that familiar floaty sensation. give her a moment, she's shaking her head. ]

Nothing too steppy, okay? I won't apologize if your feet get hurt during this one.

It's our second date. I can't slack off.

[ The way he sweeps her onto the dance floor is effortless, even if he's not-so-subtly laughing at her floaty clumsiness. ]

We can take things slow.

And if you step on my feet anyway, I'll just spin you twice.

[ Playful threatening. Kaito's hold is similar to their time in class—but this time his lower hand settles on the small of her back and presses her flush to him.

Nevermind the light color in his ears. He's almost literally glowing again. ]

You can still slack, I'm not grading you on our time out.

[ he's allowed. it's just a second date, after all.

but her cheeks flush when she's pulled close, overly aware of the hand at her back (this, too, is familiar), and one hand comes up to gently push him away. ]

A little... away, Kaito. I need to breathe.

[ they can be close, but let her decide when. her hand lingers on his chest before it moves to position. different than... the last time she was here, she remembers vaguely, but the waltz-like hold doesn't allow her to lean on him like she did with her other partner. maybe for the better. ]

[ Kaito dips in. This is the opposite of away. His lips hover millimeters from the shell of her ear, and the voice that responds to her is an octave lower and much more...

Intimate. ]

And what if I'm trying to steal the breath from your lungs, partner?

[ The instant those words spill from his lips, Kaito pulls away and sets a solid distance between them—one that he will allow Malkuth to regulate.

His hand remains at her back, but with a feather light touch now. ]

[ then her step on his foot isn't so accidental, is what's what. ]

You tease too much for your own good, partner. Though I guess you can get your practice in... I'm not gonna remember anyway.

[ this

is what makes her a bad drunk, actually. she doesn't remember anything if she goes too hard. maybe not bad, but dangerous in a way. malkuth keeps them just a step apart after a moment of looking down at their feet, then beams up like she hadn't just confessed to being a partial amnesiac. ]

Okay! This is fine for whatever little waltzy thing we're doing.

...Good.

[ Yeah, that's dangerous. That's terrible. Kaito can tell that she isn't lying. He shouldn't take advantage of this situation.

Yet as he falls into her rhythm and guides her to a gentle, floating beat, he leans in again. ]

If it's all the same to you, I stopped teasing a while ago.

I'm just too scared to be direct like you, partner. Direct and undaunted.

Really?

[ to which part? all of it, maybe. definitely. she definitely thinks he's mean for saying this knowing she won't remember it... but maybe it's easier for him then, if he really is scared. but why... ]

I just... have some regrets from my first life, as Elijah, that I don't want to continue to carry on. Or repeat. I wouldn't call myself undaunted though.

[ there's plenty that daunts her, truthfully. but she just takes her time and then stands when she's ready to head it. ]

Yeah. [ A pause to spin her. ] I'm sorry. I know this is a cruel way to admit it. I'm not that reliable.

[ There's silence as he listens, as they dance, as the band moves on from his request to resume their set. ]

You appear undaunted, to me. It's admirable. The grass is always greener on the other side, y'know?

My life is full of regrets. And yet I'm cursed to the cycle. To walk circles, repeat mistakes. So I'll get this off my chest now, the only time I can be brave and direct and honest.

And maybe I can dream that next time I won't have to hide behind the alcohol.

[ , okay thank goodness he has a hold on her for a spin because her ass would not be well. give her a moment to take the words in. ]

... It's hard to escape. But it's not impossible.

[ to leave a cycle. to break it. it's easier just to live with it, to suffer and self-prophecize. malkuth shakes off his grip to reach up and clap her hands on his cheeks, squeezing them lightly. ]

I think... I'd like to hear this when I'm sober, too. There's nothing for you to be scared of.

[ because she does like him too. he's a close friend of hers, he makes her smile easier than most others, and... ]

You're one of the people I feel less lonely around. You don't let me feel lonely, and I like that. So you shouldn't be scared. Just... whenever.

Nothing is impossible, I know. Simply difficult.

[ Kaito lifts his hands to cup over hers, tilting his head so he can nuzzle into one of her palms. Ugh. He hates that it's so much easier to just melt into her like this. No he doesn't. Rather, he hates that she won't remember this, even though it's what he was banking on in the first place.

Contradictions. Pots and kettles. Hypocrisy from Yomi to the City.

Her follow-up comes at the tail end of another song, and Kaito carefully slows to a halt so he can scoot in and hold her a little closer, again.

You're one of the people I feel less lonely around.

He's pretty sure he feels his heart skipping beats every other second. Stupid. Idiot. Stupid, lovable, beautiful idiot. He can't help but move his hands to her cheeks so he can zip in close (but not too close. No forehead touching, yet). ]

One day, I'll be brave enough to tell you everything. That you're important to me. That I almost feel like I belong when I'm with you.

...That if I were to ever lose you, I'd march back into hell and stay there this time, just so you could return and reclaim the happiness life owes you.

[ Between declarations, he's screwed his eyes shut and leaned forward to the point their foreheads did start touching. Kaito holds her there for just a second longer before drawing back to that comfortable distance. He's smiling, bright as the sun all over again, if not a bit misty eyed. ]

Someday I'll tell you how happy you make me, and you won't be allowed to forget.

... You're so unfair.

[ is what she whispers, the burn of his forehead against hers a brand that remains, unseen but felt. her heart twists and throws itself against the bone of her chest. it stays there, bruised through every lifetime, and she drops her hands from him to rub at her face.

she's not crying. but she does feel like she wants to, a little. in frustration more than anything. the other patrons are gonna side-eye him if she does get choked up, so she's doing her best to keep her voice level, even if it ends up soft. ]

At least... tell me that I'm important to you. If nothing else, that. Can't you? Or show it? I don't... want to be overlooked again.

[ he's so, so unfair. mean and a jerk. an idiot and unfair. how many times can she think that word until it loses meaning. ]

...I know. I'm sorry.

[ Whispered in turn. He smiles, but his heart wrenches and wrings the same way hers does—and not just because he feels what she feels. His next move might be a little too risky to try on the dance floor, so first he picks up one of her hands. A bit of soft guiding brings Malkuth's palm to splay over her heart before he lays his hand over hers again.

Those rough fingertips of his just barely graze over the skin her dress exposes. He seeks her gaze and holds it. ]

Maybe that desperate hug wasn't enough. Or maybe it was the catalyst.

I'll make sure that in no uncertain terms, you'll know just how special you are. You deserve that. You're...

[ 'You're the most important person I have here in his godawful world.' ]

...You're too cute, even when you look like you're about to cry.

[ Yeah, even her inebriated state isn't enough assurance for him to say that. A meaninglessly mean jerk glint illuminates his golds. ]

Okay. No more unfair confessions. I don't want to make you any sadder. Dance with me, and let's forget together.

[ her hand resists, just a moment, petulant as she is at his unfairness-- but it presses to his heart, goosebumps raising slightly when his fingers brush the her soft skin. malkuth's breathing stills, as if trying to keep it from catching with every inhale, and she sniffles despite her efforts.

it isn't like then. but she's still reminded of it anyway, even if his gaze won't leave her like that one always did. it's the same sort of gentle heartache that chews at her cheery mood. elijah always smiled anyway. malkuth tries to, too. ]

... Fine. But you owe me one. Jerk.

[ owe her something or other. unlike the waltz, she steps closer to wrap her arms around him and plop her head against his chest instead, not wanting to see her past in her present. not much of a dance position, but it's one she adopts anyway. ]

...Now who's grinning and bearing it all? [ Called out. Her awareness of his empathy is going to make their conversations more interesting...

Kaito adjusts so he can more or less do the lion's share of maneuvering them around the dance floor while she fwumps against his chest. One hand resumes its post at her back, but the other finds its way to her head, brushing and combing gently at the loosened strands while trying not to unravel that braid bun he'd worked so hard to create. ]

I don't forget my debts. But you'll have to forgive me if I eventually start spoiling the heck out of you without explaining why. Heheh.

[ yeah. interesting is a way to put it.

at least it's comforting having her hair played with. she liked the way march's hands felt too that first night, and the struggle between them for today... it eases her little by little, though she won't be rid entirely of it until she sleeps off the alcohol.

a sigh. ]

I usually do. [ just so he knows. ] And I'll try. But no promises on the forgiving thing.

[ she might be too baffled to understand why, after all. or she'll remember the way someone does parts of a dream, hazy yet clear. who knows what'll happen then. ]

Yeah. Pot, kettle, all that. [ He rubs her scalp, then pats her back. ]

Forgiving is optional. I just want to keep making you smile.

—For better reasons than this current beam. [ Chuckling. Hand lifts from her back to poke her cheek. ]

You always find a way.

[ so no worries there, mumbled with a real smile but sincere nonetheless. she'd meant it when she said that he always makes her smile during their hanami picnic. kaito won't ever fail in that regard, and malkuth sighs as she relaxes more against him. ]

I don't think I can hold onto you for the way back, by the way. [ like she really expected she'd be able to........ ] If you let me fall face first off your bike, I'll let Snow White's Apple consume you.

[ no hesitation... she'll let that thing drain his nutrients as much as it pleased, since it hates being left out of happy endings. ]

And you always make it worth the effort.

[ His hand shifts, cradling the brunette's head while keeping her nice and close. Just another moment he wants to stretch out to infinity. ]

As funny as you're making the idea sound, there's no way in hell I'm gonna let that happen. Don't worry—we're getting you home safe and sound.

[ Please. Please do not let the apple succ. ]

[closed] we shape our buildings; thereafter, they shape us

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