synflux | ( CLOSED ) i was grinning like i'm winning

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( CLOSED ) i was grinning like i'm winning

WHO: Yuji Itadori & Raidou Kuzunoha
WHAT: Sleepover
WHERE: Raidou's room
WHEN: After the Events of the text mingle
WARNINGS: Vague discussion of NSFW content (thanks, Choso) and boys kissing.

[ Yuji can't say he's having a bad day, exactly, but he also can't say it's been good, given the discoveries.

The things that Choso wants to do, has done, enjoys, revealed to him just like that. Yuji had never experienced how it felt to be utterly embarrassed by a sibling before, but the experience isn't one that he really wants to repeat. For all that Choso might be happy and enjoying himself, Yuji thinks he might have been happier if he remained blind to it all. He can't fault Choso for finding something he likes, but it's mortifying, and also with Toji-san of all people...

It's a morose Yuji that's dragging himself to Raidou's room, a little bag in hand - some snacks, dinner in some bento boxes, his notebook and polaroids to organise while his boyfriend studies, all that kind of stuff. He's trying not to get flustered over it all, since they've never done this before, but he does... Want to. Waking up next to Raidou...

Shaking his head, he knocks, then peers his head inside. ]

Yo, Johei! I made it!

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I can see that. You have really nice handwriting, I’m a little jealous.

[ It’s so easy to lean into Raidou like this, to share space with him while they talk. It’s like it’s natural. ]

I wonder if they realised how special it would be to me or if they meant it as a joke.

I hope not. I know mine was... I guess they knew I liked cats, but...?

[Now that he mentions it, Yuji seems to be the only one he can think of that got a useful gift.]

I really don't understand what LILITH is thinking sometimes.

[Raidou shifts a little to see if he can get a look at Yuji better.]

I'm not making your legs fall asleep, am I?

It’s a good way to get me on their good side, like I wasn’t already.

[ Yuji is dedicated enough to fighting monsters that he’s not concerned about having to work hard here, but he knows it’s not the same for everyone.

At Raidou’s comment, he tilts his head and laughs softly. ]

No way, you’re fine. You’re not even a little bit heavy.

You're okay with them? I'm not sure what I think of them, really.

[He respected LILITH's goal, but not necessarily their methods.

At that, Raidou intentionally leans more of his weight onto him, smiling. Time to make him regret those words! Except not really. Raidou's pretty light.]

Good. Because I'm pretty comfortable like this.

I don’t know. They’ve been fine to me, but I know other people have had strange things happen.

[ He’s not really smart enough for all of this kind of thing anyway. He’s there to fight monsters, not think too hard about the nature of their kidnapping and that stuff.

He gets to be here with people he loves who are alive again. That’s enough for him.

Smiling, though, he leans in to kiss Raidou’s cheek gently. ]

You know I can throw cars, right? My cute boyfriend is easy mode.

Can I see that sometime?

[Raidou swings his legs to the side, so he sits perpendicular on Yuji's lap now, a mischievous glint in his eye.]

In the next sim, maybe. Will you throw a car during it?

[Wouldn't want any actual real-world damage, here. He knows how strong Yuji is, but he kind of wants to see that, too.]

Oh, sure?

[ Wait. Hold on. Is he missing something here…

Lifting his head, he gazes at his boyfriend before his lips spread slowly, and he grins up at him, tightening his arm a little bit. ]

Hey, Johei… Do you like that I can do that sort of thing?

[You mean his superhumanly strong boyfriend doing super hot things like chucking whole cars at monsters? Yeah he might just be into that. Called out though, he blinks and reddens, hiding his face on Yuji's shoulder. He can hear the smile in his voice, though.]

It'd be cool to see, is all.

[ A grin spreads across Yuji’s face, unable to smother it. His strength has been celebrated before, but no one’s ever told him they think it’s attractive in this way. He’s always thought it was a little bit weird, or that at least it was good for fighting, so this…

He laughs softly, trying to nose his way to give Raidou a kiss. ]

I’ll throw a car for you. Anything else you want to see?

[Look at Raidou, all blushing, using words like "cool", almost like he's a normal teen. He's getting there. He'll let his embarrassment get exposed if it means getting a kiss.

He's not sure how to answer that at first, when he has a sudden flashback to Yuji and Bakugo having their little skirmish at the onsen and he's flustered all over again. What a strange feeling of giddy embarrassment this his for him.]

I-I don't know. I just think it's pretty great, how strong you are.

[ It’s not as if Yuji is trying to tease him or anything, but there’s something endearing about seeing Raidou relax a little, show his softer side, get flustered and blush. He’s cute, Yuji has always said so, but this is an entirely new level of it. Getting to see those kinds of things that other people don’t… It feels special to him.

He says he doesn’t know but Yuji suspects otherwise. He’s not planning on teasing him too much today, all things considered, and just lets himself leave another kiss against the curve of Raidou’s jaw. He can nudge and tease later, maybe when they’re curled up in bed together and there’s no escape.

It’s totally fine - Raidou can tease him back. ]

Oh… So it’s the muscles you like. Got it, I’ll keep it in mind. [ Trying not to laugh. ] If you want me to… You can just say. I’ll probably do anything you ask.

[It's pretty obvious how unused to any of this kind of talk is (most notably by how he describes his feelings about it as "pretty great"), and if it were anyone else he'd clam up in a second. Even as he sits here like this with Yuji, it's still difficult, but he's clearly enjoying himself despite the embarrassment.

He leans his head against Yuji's, a smile on that bright red face of his.]

Mm. I guess so?

[He never really thought about it all before, but that's because he never really had a chance to.

Anything, huh. What a thing to say when they're sitting like this. A hand traces up his forearm to tenderly take hold of his bicep, around that muscle.]

Maybe it's that... you're that strong, but you're... careful. Kind. Despite it.

[That he felt safe with him like this. Raidou was a strong person himself, no matter how he might feel about that lately, more than able to take care of himself. But he never worried for himself in Yuji's presence. Someone with such power could easily lose themselves to it, but here was Yuji, sweet and caring and kind.

Sometimes now, thanks to Seimei, Raidou wants to second guess his judgements of character. Once bitten, twice shy. He would have a hard time believing, however, that Yuji's earnestness was anything but that, or so he hopes every day.]

[ Yuji doesn't necessarily want to push Raidou into something that he's not comfortable with, doesn't want to bully him into confessions that make him feel on edge, but he also likes hearing how someone feels about him. It might get him a little blushy, a touch sheepish, but it's a good feeling, too.

There are few people that compliment him like this on his strength, seeing it as something worthwhile outside a fight. It makes him want to hear more of it, to drown a little in the compliments. ]

I've always been this way, so...

[ His eyes drop to watch as Raidou lifts his hand, stroking along his arm, and he feels himself getting a little more flustered, eyes widening briefly. It's not even that intimate a touch, but it feels different, somehow, to watch that hand trail along so absently.

It feels good. Nice. ]

Even if I didn't promise my grandpa, I'd want to be like that... The whole point of me doing this was to protect people, to be as good as I could be. That was my reasoning for it all.

[ His fingers stroke absently against Raidou, his body tilts into him, as if he's a planet and Raidou is the earth, Yuji lost in his gravitational pull, drawn to him impossibly. He smiles softly, leaning up for a soft, gentle kiss, unable to resist. The notebooks are forgotten in the weight of confession and warmth, his expression filled with it as he pauses. ]

Then it's okay for me to say how good you look too?

[If he trusts Yuji like this, then he should be able to trust him with his thoughts too, right? It's only fair, and Yuji wants to hear them, as strange as an idea as that might be to someone who was always taught to keep everything internalized. There was so much he had to say, so much he wants to say all the time, but can't seem to make his words work correctly, make them match his feelings.

Raidou's a little envious of people like Yuji who seem to have an easier time of it.

When he leans in and kisses him, Raidou's hand on his arm slides down to Yuji's waist to hold him there. The other place where those nice muscles are.]

... Yeah. It's okay.

[ Yuji smiles, taking the kiss and letting himself have this - this soft moment of peace between them. He’s not embarrassed to say he likes it, the press of their mouth, the way that Raidou’s hand touches at his body - if someone likes the shape of him, his muscles, his strength… Isn’t that okay?

He can be happy with that.

Leaning up, he steals another kiss, quiet and breathless when he speaks. ]

I like how hard you try to do things well, and how much you care about people - the way you fight to make sure they’re okay. I think you have nice eyes and a handsome smile, and… You arms feel good around me. Your kisses feel good.

[ Embarrassing, but Raidou said it was okay. ]

[It's strange to hear someone say it, but... it feels really nice, too. Also bonus points for Yuji calling him "handsome" and not "pretty" as he so often would be back home.

How could he not respond with anything else but a shy smile and a kiss, letting it go on; he felt the same about Yuji's kisses, about how he held on to him, those strong arms...

Raidou shifts in his lap a little, leaning forward into him, pressing him into the chair just a bit. A hint more pf courage seeps in after Yuji's words, and he takes a moment to say a little more, just as low and breathlessly as Yuji.]

You're so sweet to me, and that smile... [That one he likes so much that it got broadcasted to all of the Outsiders.] They make me feel like... everything's really okay.

[ It's definitely attractive, feeling Raidou push him back into the chair, leaning over him; it's not that Yuji forgets how strong he is, he just doesn't think about it consciously in a situation like this, with intimacy and tenderness, and he can feel himself get a little more flustered. Both arms wrap around his boyfriend now, holding him closer as he tilts his head.

He's greedy for more, he always is when it comes to Raidou, wanting to take all the different parts of him and hold them close to himself. Yuji wants to know him, to see all the parts of him that other people don't get to see - even if he's willing to share, he wants to be a little selfless right now.

Smiling, he leaves more kisses along Raidou's jaw, chasing along to his neck to press his face there and smile. ]

It is, when we're together, right? We'll be okay. [ A soft, happy sigh. ] Especially when you're holding me. Kissing me.

Yeah... [Those kisses on his neck, the arms around him, causes the grip on Yuji's waist to tighten.] Then... guess I'll just have to keep kissing you.

[The network glitch showed how Yuji wanted to kiss again like at the onsen, which is something Raidou is more than happy to accommodate. One hand holds his neck, as he dares to kiss him a little deeper; the other on his waist gingerly sneaking its way under Yuki's shirt to hold him there instead. Just a little touch of those muscles, maybe... how can he keep resisting after all that talk?]

Keep kissing me… I don’t want you to stop. [ As honest and as frank as ever, not really able to hide those feelings - the blush on his cheeks, the way his smile widens, settling warmly around him… Yuji is happy here.

He’s just as happy to lean up into the kiss, to let one hand move around to anchor itself to the back of Raidou’s head as he pushes up into it, as he lets himself fall and drown into the well of deep want he feels. It doesn’t bother him even a little that there’s a careful, explorative hand reaching up under his clothes; he lets his own free hand drop, stroking idly against his boyfriend’s leg gently.

Yuji wants this. The kissing, the careful touching, doing things that make him happy. Isn’t that what they both wanted to do here? Be happy? This, as careful and tentative as it is, is doing that for him. ]

[Raidou really can't hold back anymore, not at that request. The enthusiasm in Yuji's kiss, the hand on his leg only makes him bolder, wanting more too. As tough as it was to convince himself to give into these feelings; it's what they both want, and they are so happy together.

The hand under his shirt makes its way upward, thumbs tracing along Yuji's abdomen, taking the shirt along with it as he goes. Seeing how far he can take it.

As nice as the hand on his leg is, he'll have to interrupt it for just a moment. He shifts again, this time to move one leg to the other side of Yuji's lap now. It's a move that even makes him pause briefly, always second guessing if it's too much-- I don’t want you to stop is what Yuji had said just moments earlier, wasn't it?

It's a moment for him to make sure that Yuji was comfortable too, that mischievous glint in Raidou's eye again.]

[ Every single thing that Raidou is doing to him is so painfully distracting that Yuji doesn’t know what to do with himself, never been adept at multitasking. He tilts into the kisses and allows himself the joy of them, of the breathless energy they inspire in him, wanting more and more. Greedy for the affection, the warmth and the feeling of it all, a thrum though him not so different from using cursed energy.

He’s never been a normal teenager. He’s never done this kind of thing. Historically, he’d never notice if someone liked him or wanted to kiss him. Yuji can see it now in the way that Raidou touches him, fingers brushing over his skin and leaving twitching shivers in their wake, making him pause to suck in air between kisses.

It’s intense. But it’s good.

When Raidou moves, Yuji shifts his hands to help guide him, to keep him steady and draw him close again. He’s not upset by it, clearly, not if the wide eyed look of excitement he gives his boyfriend is anything to go by. Both his hands drop to Raidou’s waist, holding him there as he leans in for another kiss, biting gently at his lower lip, testing and teasing.

He did say more, don’t stop, after all. He wants this. He wants to keep kissing. ]

[Raidou certainly has never done anything like this, and honestly had wondered if he ever would have. In his old life, maybe not, but things here were so different in so many strange and terrible and wonderful ways. Being here with Yuji made that old life seem even further away than ever. Maybe a little more distance from it is what he needs.

While he might not know what he's doing, operating on solely on what feels right; those quivers under his touch, those quick breaths between kisses show him he's doing the right things.

Yuji would be getting the same clues from his boyfriend. It is intense, and those hands on his waist pulling him close, those teeth nipping at his lip get sharp breaths in response. That grin slips back in between kisses as his hands slide around to his back, sliding up and under his shirt. Maybe he'd be okay with getting rid of the pesky thing already...]

[ The newness might be what makes it feel so delicious, so exciting: he's never had this, never had someone who wanted to touch him or kiss him like this, at least not as far as he was ever aware of. To have someone who wants to hold onto him and not let go, who wants to reciprocate the feelings that burn inside of him. The happiness in the swell of darkness, the bright light in his grief, the relationships and connections that keep him going...

Instinct has always guided him, has always done what he can do with whatever he has in front of him, and right now his focus is on making sure Raidou feels as gleeful as he does, stealing more of his attention and his kisses. He wants them all, a guilty need to keep him close and keep his attention.

Seeing Raidou grin, seeing him get more confident, realising that Yuji wants this too... It's good.

The shirt is being tugged, moved, shifted, and Yuji wiggles his arms up and away so that Raidou can take it off and drop it aside. The only thing he has to be embarrassed about are his scars, littering his body from all the fights, but... He doesn't think Raidou will mind too much. ]

[Raidou certainly doesn't mind, having plenty of scars from his own lifetime of battles, old and new. He's happy to get unfettered access to those muscles he likes so much now, though, getting hands on his chest immediately in order to push Yuji back into the chair again.

Though, he's starting to wonder if maybe they should move. These chairs aren't the most comfortable like this, though Raidou's barely had a chance to consider it, really. As much he hates to, he breaks the kiss for a moment. He doesn't say anything, catching his breath and licking his lips, his eyes only darting over to the bed for a long moment before looking back to Yuji. Should they...?]

[ Yuji takes his own slow, deep breaths, shifting his weight a little to keep Raidou close as he notes the change in his gaze. Turning to follow the look, wondering what’s distracting his boyfriend, he frowns before he realises. Oh, the bed is right there, and what they’re doing - making out - will probably feel better over there. He doesn’t have the experience to back that idea up, but it seems right, doesn’t it?

Thinking about how Raidou likes his strength… He grins.

Without much more hesitation, he stands, lifting Raidou with him and using the grip of his hands to carry him over to the bed - it’s not as if he weighs anything close to how much a car does. After that, it’s easy to settle down on the bed and shift back, to draw Raidou back against his body. One hand strokes up and over his back, the other stays on his waist. ]

… Where were we?

( CLOSED ) i was grinning like i'm winning

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