( OPEN ) feel like i'm falling down

[eyescar]

WHO: Yuji Itadori & you!
WHAT: Yuji has once again been the first guinea pig for the upgrades on offer from LILITH and is paying the price.
WHERE: Across the base
WHEN: End of the month
WARNINGS: References to brain surgery, time distortion, and other medical related things. Info about the side effects of the surgery here.

A.

[ The first moments after being released from the medical room are fine - or, Yuji thinks they're fine, at least. Megumi takes him back to his room and takes care of him, but eventually he gets a little stir-crazy and wants to go and get something to eat, and that leads him to the situation that he's in right now.

Anyone coming across Yuji in the corridor will see him walking down, but at a strangely slow pace. It's as if he's tiptoeing, and he has a face of such utter concentration on his features that it might be endearing if he wasn't also wincing, holding his arms out either side of him. It's as if he's walking along a balance beam, wobbling here and there.

It's comical, and when he realises someone is in front of him he lifts his head, slowly, as if underwater. ]

... Hi?

B.

[ Getting out of bed was probably a mistake.

Yuji had made his way to the library, a quiet place where he wouldn't have to worry too much about being bothered or poked and prodded, but everything had felt so loud. Every time he tried to sit down the pain of it was enough to have him twitching, tears prickling in his eyes, and when he lifts his hand to wipe them away it's as if someone has shoved a hot poker against his skin. It's too much, and way worse than the surgery he had last time, that for a moment he wonders if it was worth it.

(It will be, once this is over, but right now he feels as if his body is out of control).

The overstimulation leads him to crawling under one of the tables, tucking himself against it and shoving his face into his knees, looking far too much like his brother for anyone not to notice the similarities should they come across Choso hiding in the future.

He's crying off and on, but doing his best to pretend he isn't, just in case someone comes across him. ]

C.

( Wildcard me or hit me up for something and I will write you it! <3 )

Comments

@MEGUMI

[eyescar]

[ The surgery was painful, but it was nothing that Yuji couldn't handle. It's the after effects that seem to be the worst this time, and his gut is twisting painfully as he climbs out of the bed, wincing. He knows that Megumi is here to take him back to his room, but he doesn't want to be too much of a burden or anything like that, so...

Sliding out of the medical bay and into the main room, he spots his friend and lifts his hand, waving a little, expression tight. He's sore all over, and his legs threaten to wobble out from under him, but he's determined not to collapse. He can lie down when he's back in his room, right? ]

Hey, Megumi... Thanks for waiting.

[ Especially with how things are at the moment... Leaning against the wall, Yuji winces. ]

... Is it okay if we head back now?

[seaurchin]

[ The fact that the other boy had told him beforehand, rather than going ahead and showing up after days of being missing in action, is actually development on his part. Normally, Yuji hates burdening other people with what he's going through, preferring to suffer alone and not letting others support him. Megumi can't even fault him for this because he's the same, having recently done the healing surgery as well. (Okay, he can fault him, because the rules apparently apply to Yuji but not Megumi). He doesn't know what it is that cause the boy to have a change of heart, to consider the people who love him, but Megumi isn't going to complain. Though he worries and will never stop worrying, he also trusts the other boy's judgement. He doesn't like that the other boy is doing this, but he'll be there for him if it makes the process will be just a bit easier.

When he sees Yuji, he rushes over immediately, standing by his side and supporting his arm. It's actually rare that the other boy looks this weathered. He can take a lot of pain and brush it off. What makes this surgery different? ]

Yeah. Yeah. Of course. [ He wants to know what happened, how the other boy is feeling, but Yuji wants to head back, Megumi will assist him without question. He's got a bag in hand where he's prepared dinner and some snacks for the other boy. ] Let's go to your room. Can you walk?

[eyescar]

[ Yuji can’t help the way he winces when Megumi leans into him, trying to help. The contact makes his skin prickle at first, but it soon fizzes away into something different. He’s conscious of the touch to his arm, to the way that Megumi is supporting him, but… He doesn’t feel his grip at all. It’s as if no one is touching him even a little.

Shaking his head, he decides it’s best to ignore it, chest feeling a little tight. As useful as teleportation will be - and if he can get his body used to the feeling of it, the way it works, then maybe he can do it without the upgrade like sensei does - he’s not sure if this one was worth it. This upgrade felt more… Personal. Selfish. He can fight better with it, but was it necessary?

He doesn’t regret it, but he knows he’ll have a lot to answer for.

Slowly, he walks with Megumi, shaking his head and blinking back his tears. ]

I’m okay to walk. I just want to lie down. [ His hands flex a little. The room is spinning, just a bit, and he leans more into his friend as they start to head towards the Everlight base. In the back of his mind, something springs up. ] Megumi… We need to check on Choso…

[seaurchin]

[ He doesn't know what Yuji is actually experiencing right now, but this isn't normal at all. Usually, he's able to get up and keep on fighting even after being stabbed or burned or cut. The last surgery definitely wasn't easy, but Yuji was able to bounce back from it fairly quickly also. Something's so different about this one. The other boy's gait and that unfocused look isn't normal at all. Megumi keeps him steady, holding on to his arm as they stagger toward Everlight. If this keeps up, he'll consider carrying the other boy if needed. ]

What's wrong ... You think he'll be affected too? [ He hasn't learned too much about the half-curse's abilities, but he's heard that they have some connection somehow. ]

[eyescar]

Yeah… It was - he’ll feel it…

[ Choso wasn’t around the last time that Yuji had this kind of surgery, and so he hadn’t thought too much about it. Thinking about their connection even without the tracker rings. If Choso had been focusing even a little bit on Yuji, especially with the warning… How much pain would he be in?

He might have to grovel a little.

Whimpering, he sinks into Megumi with a soft sigh. ]

This is a good upgrade, but everything hurts. It feels like I need glasses or something…

[seaurchin]

[ Megumi doesn't get too many opportunities to talk or interact with Choso, so he doesn't know the extent of their apparently brotherly connection (or the circumstances around that, really). Yuji seems to have a better idea about the somewhat psychic connection they have, so Megumi believes him. If Choso was forced to feel the other boy's pain in that time, he can imagine how shocking and excruciating that might be. It's just like Yuji to be concerned about that right now rather than himself. ]

We'll find Choso and make sure he's okay. [ If that is the other boy's first priority, then it's Megumi's priority as well. Walking like this is rather slow, though. Yuji usually has a very tough disposition, but this recent surgery seems to have affected him in ways that even his unique body cannot handle. ]

He's probably in your room. I'll carry you there. [ Yuji did this for him last time, so it makes sense that he returns the favour. ]

@RAIDOU

[eyescar]

[ Yuji had been thoughtful enough to message Raidou before he had gone to get the surgery (not that they had been particularly close last time, but as his boyfriend he is top of the list) and then had gone silent for hours. The pain and the strange distortion of time had left Yuji more confused than he normally is, trying to adjust and not being sure how to do it, eventually recognising that what he wants is to go and find the person who helps settle him and comfort him when something happens.

He is desperately trying not to think about the idle comment Dr. Spim had made and the condoms that still sit in his pocket, since he had no idea what else to do with them. Give them to Choso?

At least Raidou is only in Everlight, so Yuji can stumble his way across the hall. He's tempted to attempt the teleportation, to see how it works, but the idea of accidentally getting himself stuck in his boyfriend's door is alarming, so instead he slumps against it, knocking absently. His voice is a pained whine when he speaks, wondering if he ought to have texted first.

Is Raidou working right now...? ]

Johei... Let me in, it hurts...

[the_fourteenth]

[Once Yuji told Raidou that he was going in for another upgrade surgery, he made sure to free up his schedule. They'd both been through the healing upgrades, all too familiar with how LILITH no-anesthetic procedures work. But Yuji was tough, the toughest person Raidou's ever known. He should be okay, right?

Raidou tried to stick to staying in his room so he'd be nearby in case Yuji needed anything, tough as it was to sit here waiting alone. It was best if Yuji just rested after the procedure and he could heal him up if he needed. His room was only a few yards from his boyfiend's, and he was just a text message away. What he wasn't expecting was the sudden noise outside his door, and Yuji's pained voice. He's there opening the door in a flash - hopefully it doesn't catch Yuji too-off guard.]

Yuji--

[eyescar]

[ Despite the fact that Megumi had tried to heal him a little bit, he's still so sore. It was, essentially, brain surgery that he went through, after all, so the fact that he's up and moving is testament to how his body adapts so swiftly to things, how well he can tolerate pain. Wincing a little, dragging his hand back, each touch feeling like pins digging into his skin, his eyes turn to Raidou.

Just seeing the other boy makes him feel better.

Blinking back the strange, confusing feeling inside of him, he wobbles, head tilted. ]

... That took ages. Were you out?

[the_fourteenth]

[Raidou immediately reaches out to him, but pulls his hand back when he sees Yuji wince. Achy all over, he's sure.]

No. I took the afternoon off. I was waiting to hear if you needed anything.

[He steps aside to let Yuji and go wherever he wants - a chair, the bed, or maybe he wants to stay on his feet and get his bearings.]

Are you... You said it hurts. Can I help?

[His voice is quiet. Yuji doesn't look great. He offers a hand, an offer of healing if he needs it.]

[eyescar]

Really? I've been standing here for hours...?

[ Or, he thinks he has, anyway. Frowning, Yuji steps into the room, a little unsteady, and it feels as if there's wind blowing in his ears. Even the way he walks is a little bit odd, as if he's trying to wade through a flood. ]

I should've texted or something, sorry?

[ The offer of a hand makes Yuji soften, though, some of the tension bleeding out - until he takes his boyfriend's hand, and then he's crying out, wincing as he pulls his hand back, tears welling up in his eyes and making him hold it against his chest instead. ]

Ah... It hurt...?

[the_fourteenth]

... What do you mean? I answered immediately.

[This is bad. Raidou's immediately put in mind of how Raidou had found March, disoriented and lost inside the base after her recent upgrade surgery. It must be something like that.]

It's okay. I know you were--

[No chance to finish that thought when Yuji suddenly reacts to Raidou's hand as if it were boiling hot. He blinks, frozen silent for a moment. There's an instinct in him that immediately wants to call forth one of his demons, someone with a Dia spell who could help Yuji without touching him. It's a frustrating feeling, and he's unsure of what to do.]

I'm sorry, I-- maybe you need more rest before we try that. Lie down. Please.

b

[ignoreher]

[ the library is one of her weekly stops, so it's natural that she'd be here one of these days; there could almost be a ghost with the stifled crying in here today, but malkuth isn't one to believe in them. she's aware of far worse boogie monsters. so she looks. she searches.

she finds a familiar young man curled up under a table and she hesitates, then leaves a moment just to go downstairs again and return with a blanket that she throws over the table, careful not to disturb yuji as she adjusts it and sits on the other side of his new curtain. sometimes people don't want to be seen, and she doesn't know what's bothering the normally bright boy. ]

How's that?

[ it's barely above a whisper, audible but only somewhat. ]

[eyescar]

[ Oh...

Yuji watches as the blanket descends over his table, and he tilts his head up to look around. It does feel better, not to have so much light on him, real or fake, and the hesitation he feels makes his fingers tingle. It's all a bit much, but that's what happens when you get surgery like this, isn't it? He knew about the side effects before he sat down to have it done, so...

Shifting just a little, he kicks his foot out so he can peer out the tiniest crack in the fabric, so that he can see the shape of Malkuth in front of him. ]

It's a lot better. Thank you, you didn't have to.

[ignoreher]

I don't do things because I have to, Yuji, just because I want to.

[ it'll be something important her learns about her, though she's happy to have helped... she grins at him, pulling her knees to her chest and resting her chin on them. ]

When I was younger, and sometimes even now, I'd be so done with everything around me that I'd just want to find someplace to curl up and be alone. [ her hand reaches out to gently touch the blanket. ] Darkness helped a lot in sort of quieting my mind, but I never really found an easy way to calm down by myself. I don't know if that's what's going on with you, but I'm glad it's helped anyway.

[eyescar]

I guess I understand that.

[ It's not as if he's that different, considering... He likes to help too. He likes to be useful, to feel as though he did something good or right in the world, where he can.

Rubbing his face, he sighs. ]

To be honest, it's a little like that, but at the same time... This is all totally my own fault.

[ignoreher]

One of the surgeries? A couple of my friends had a hard time after theirs, to the point one of them said I shouldn't look into it.

[ though she still might. there's some things that seem far too useful, and the pain wouldn't bother her. ]

[eyescar]

Yeah, that's it! The first one was painful, but mostly okay... This one sucks.

[ He's definitely being petulant about it. ]

I feel dizzy, and like I can't see properly.

A

[heir_conditioned]

Shoto still isn't against wandering aimlessly in halls. It gives him good time to reflect on things, get confused by his reflection on some of the things, and then bother Bakugo or Midoriya about the things he's reflected on.

However, today's walk includes someone else's and while Yuji isn't walking toward him, Shoto certainly is catching up at his leisurely pace. The arms out prevent him from doing much moving aside, and if someone is drunk then they probably should be escorted home. He hadn't planned to have a day where it included any kind of community service, but he's all in all dedicated to his cause. So when he's addressed and said hi to, Shoto replies in kind: "Hello." Shoto is walking half behind him, and a little turned toward him. "Where are you going? Straight ahead?"

[eyescar]

"I think so?"

Turning his head, Yuji looks at Shoto with a small smile, almost as if he is drunk, but... He's not stinking of it, and his eyes are clear, despite how awkwardly he seems to be moving. It's just dizziness that'll pass, right? That's what he keeps telling himself, even as he has to pause to lean against the wall to talk to someone.

This is bad, probably.

"I was trying to get to the lounge, but it's taking ages to get there."

I'm so sorry, I had this marked as done like an idiot.

[heir_conditioned]

The smile he gets doesn't lead him to believe that the man isn't drunk, that's the truth of it, but he doesn't know quite where to take it. Maybe a few more questions to make sure there isn't something more wrong with the situation than there seemed to be.

This is definitely bad.

"Good thing I came along then. What if I walked with you to the lounge? I can help you get there, if you'd like to let me."

nw!!

[eyescar]

"That might work!"

Yuji nods his head, looking around. It does seem like he's drunk, but more than anything else he just feels a little... Hazy. Time really is working weirdly for him right now, and he sighs softly.

"If it's not any trouble for you."

[heir_conditioned]

It might work. He hopes it works.

All the same the moment it becomes apparent this man is concerned for Shoto being put out by doing this he shakes his head. "It's not a problem. I like helping people, but I think in your condition which I think we're both aware of you have one of two decisions. I can take you home, or I can take you to the lounge and you explain to me what you wanted from it." Shoto bows his frame a little bit and since Yuji is settled on the wall, it makes it easier to put one of Yuji's arms over his shoulders. It's this or carrying him. Which Shoto will resort to if it looks like he can't walk reliably.

for the boys B)

[rikugan]

[ gojo typically has what one would call an unorthodox and hands off approach to teaching his students. he prefers it if they can learn from each other and, most importantly, improve upon their individual skills through their own efforts. when appropriate, he doesn't mind guiding them, but at the end of the day, he values achieving breakthroughs through hard work, perseverance and independent thinking. he trusts in them to maintain focus and grow in their strengths at their own pace.

—or, well, more accurately speaking, he had trusted them, until two of his first years decided that it would be more advantageous if they'd just skip a couple of steps and get a high risk surgery to give them extra perks. apparently, individualism and resilience are laughable in the face of advanced tech.

gojo really doesn't care what people choose to do with their bodies. he also understands why yuji and megumi made their choice, yet if they had bothered to ask him (instead of alerting him at the last minute), he would have told them that he didn't approve of it.

disregarding whatever condition his boys are in now, gojo has teleported both of them into his room and, for the first time, he regards both of them without a hint of his usual humor. leaning back against a wall, he shifts his gaze from one to the other as he slips his hands into his pants' pockets.

and then he releases a sigh. let's begin then. ]

To start off, I'm not mad. I'm not here to scold you or hold this against you because what's done is done. We can't turn back the clock. And I understand why you did it. I just expected... more from you two, but my judgment was wrong. That's a failing on my part. I should have realized that circumstances have changed and we are now in a new setting with new opportunities and those new opportunities are apparently tempting. But as tempting as they are, I thought that you would at least run it by me first. So, I'm gonna ask you a simple question to circumvent us having this conversation again: do you still consider me as your sensei?

hits you

[eyescar]

[ Yuji knows he's in trouble.

The moment Gojo-sensei collects him and Megumi and takes them off elsewhere, he knows that something is wrong, that awkward, bubbling feeling inside of him. He's always been a good boy, doing what he's told and following instructions, doing the best that he can, and that hasn't changed since he was here. The first time he got the upgrade it was because he had no hope of being able to heal otherwise (healing himself is something else), and this time...

He knows he can train his body to get stronger. That he can 'cheat' by taking advantage of other things and using his stupid, messed up body to get whatever advantage he can get against Sukuna is a gift, one of the few things that he is able to do as a vessel turned cage. If this is something that he can do to win, then isn't it something he has to do? Isn't this something that he has to try and do here, before he's sent back home?

If there's even a chance of things working out, then he'll do it.

Kneeling, staring at his lap, he frowns as Gojo speaks, until the end happens, and his eyes lift. The hurt in them is obvious, a sting, as if Gojo has reached inside of him and torn his heart out, stomped on it (and he would know, he's felt that before, hasn't he, the literal, physical feeling of it an aching hurt).

Gojo-sensei knows how to get right to the heart of someone like Yuji Itadori, and he blinks back the hurt, sad tears that make his cheeks burn. ]

You're my sensei. That hasn't changed.

[ His teacher, but not his parent, even if Yuji -

He grits his teeth.

Gojo-sensei hasn't been here. He hasn't been back, to feel the echoes of the moments after what happens to him happens. Hasn't seen and felt the hopelessness that Yuji has seen and felt in himself, pathetic and broken and unable to do... Anything. It's just a stupid upgrade, it doesn't matter, it doesn't mean anything - and yet.

It's enough to earn him this, and he feels queasy. ]