synflux | [closed] we shape our buildings; thereafter, they shape us

Don't do that. It's okay now. I'm better now.

[ He speaks in the same instant that he feels her emotions recede. He looks up, and it's tough to tell whether that's hurt or pity of his own softening his gaze. At the very least, he tightens his hold on her hand again. A bit of relief washes over when she grazes her fingers through his hair. It's so hard to stay focused and not just lean into her touch and ignore it all. ]

If I had been born a girl, I'd have changed my last name to Fortune. [ Terrible pun. Miss Fortune. Stop playing League. He quirks a tiny smile. It doesn't reach his eyes, but it makes the attempt. ]

Everyone has their trauma, their skeletons, their burdens. Those are some of mine. Whether I share them or not, at the end of the day I'll still have to carry them around. That's reality for us.

[ Another push to smile. His golds still look so grim, so sad. ]

Just do me a favor. Don't try to adjust for me, okay? It's one thing to feel sympathy, but I don't need to be handled like porcelain. I'm tougher than I look, y'know?

And... I'll try not to read your emotions all the time. It's difficult, it's habit, but I try not to pry too often these days.

[ -- oh, she's embarrassed to be caught. of course she was. and scolded, but she gets it. ]

... Thanks. But I'm not trying to handle you like you're fragile, Kaito, I promise. A girl's gotta have her secrets, you know?

[ and malkuth's fine with putting her heart second. she's done before. her petting hand retracts to make something of a pillow for her head, laying down on her arm too. ]

In return, please don't just smile, like you're doing now. If you're gonna be honest with me, then do it all the time. I want to be someone you can frown around too.

[ He stays smiling for a while, but eventually Kaito looks down at their hands. His features level out, but his voice remains bright. ]

I can't promise that. I'm not like you. I can't be like you.

I'll always have something to hide. It's just who I am.

[ Golds flit up. There's another smile; but while it remains small, it finds its way to his eyes. ]

And that's as honest as I can get. Give me some time. I'll get there eventually. Or don't. I won't hold it against you if that's a breaking point, y'know?

I won't call it a breaking point, but it'll make me sad in a year.

[ she'll sit up again, just so she can finish off her first glass and slide it away. the second one now. ]

I know more than anyone that it takes time, and if it never happens, it just doesn't. It doesn't make me any less of your friend or vice versa. As long as you try, even a little bit, to let me share in more than just your smiles... then I'll be satisfied.

[ Kaito pulls himself a little closer, resting his chin on their joined hands. After a moment, he turns... Not to kiss the top of hers, but to graze his cheek against her knuckles.

Satisfied, he finally sits upright. ]

Understood. I'll use my twelve month trial period wisely.

[ ...

great! awesome they understand each other now! wow, look at that social link up! she's taking her hand back, her knuckles feel like they've been scorched and the live band is soooooooooo interesting! the music? great! the vibe? smooth! love it! ]

Thanks for, um, trusting me with that. I won't tell anyone. Obviously.

[ thank goodness she has a second drink to wash down her. heart. that's in her throat. back down you go, girl! rattle in her chest instead! ]

You're really cat-like, Kaito. No wonder you get along with the strays.

[ Kaito chuckles, watching her try and play it off. He murmurs, just loud enough for her to catch: ]

Cute. [ He pours himself another glass and knocks it back. ]

You're welcome. I can't think of anyone else on this godforsaken Earth who I would want to trust with that fragility of mine, y'know?

[ A beat. He looks up, eyes regaining their mischievous glimmer. ]

I am. And look at what you've done to me. You've still got hope with the cats.

Edited 2024-04-11 05:10 (UTC)

[ keep calling her that and she's putting his name on a wanted list.

anyway, let her lay her head back down. she'll lift it to sip her drink every now and then. this is only so she hide her face somewhat, even if it means he has a nice view of her neck and down. shoulders... ]

I'll give 'em another shot the next time me and March go to the onsen. It's really nice to just melt into the hot water, especially after a long day... She wants to hold a get-together with the other ladies, so I'm pretty psyched for it.

[ He catches that too. The intent, anyway.

Kaito doesn't bother being subtle about soaking in those shoulders. Gotdayum, girl. Your clavicles.

...I wish that was a joke. He likes clavicles. ]

I haven't been there since January. I should go back and visit the cats. [ A beat. ] Hm. Is anyone arranging a hangout for the guys? I wonder if we can do something like that too...

[ she can feel his stare. she's making a note to never wear anything sleeveless again. this was a mistake. she knew she should've worn the granny dress. modesty is best, after all. you don't wear anything that shows too much skin in the city. mostly because it seems to be a slightly colder climate, but still.

he can like her clavicles all he wants it's just making malkuth turn redder. look at that skin go. look at her drink go, too. ]

I haven't heard anything, but I'm not a guy.

[ so she has nooooooo idea. ]

It's sort of just an informal thing, but I've really been working on my girl talk so I can keep up with everyone else! [ -- oh. she's sitting up. ] Kaito, what's your type?

[ This is revenge for the morning. Or something.

Kaito nods along, emptying the bottle with his next pour. He goes about drinking slowly. ]

I'll look around, then. Maybe it'll fall on me to organize it.

[ In the meantime, he reloads his shotgun and also straightens. ]

Including you or besides you?

Is there a difference?

[ someone like her... that's what that means. ]

The former will have me go on for about five minutes describing how attractive you are. The latter will not.

[ I thought we established that you aren't direct, Kaito... ]

Keep your thoughts to yourself.

[ wow, the dress really made a difference. she's gonna avoid wearing one around him for the next year. wait, she still has dance classes. oh sunk cost fallacy, we're really into it now. definitely nothing sleeveless next time... something more modest, but still cute... ]

Besides me then.

Breaking my heart over here, Malkutie.

[ Sorry. It has to become canon now. ]

...Mmm...

It starts in the eyes, I think. I'm weak for eyes. March's especially, if I have to think of everyone on base. Oh, and Vergilius...

Mentally... I guess someone who's willing to push their way in, if that makes sense? I'm not that quick to warm to people, usually. Our situation demands a bit more congeniality from my end than I'm usually willing to provide.

Back home, I'm much better at keeping to myself outside of work.

So... nice eyes, overly friendly or forward... what else?

[ diligent and hard working... if it's not besides her, though it sounds like he simply liked her current looks. ]

I don't know.

[ Kaito looks down. He's more contemplative than sad. ]

I never really dated. Fell in love with one girl, lost her to someone I used to hate, then never committed to any relationships. I guess a lot of the features that I like in friends overlap with what I like in people romantically?

[ He glances back up at her. ]

In all honesty, this would be where I go into my five minute tangent about all the parts of you that I think are attractive.

I'm not drunk enough to handle that, so stuff it.

[ ... though it's just because she's embarrassed. another longer sip of her drink, gaze turned down. ]

I kinda know what I'm into. Reliable and strong, not so much in physical strength -- though I do like that too, it's just not like, make or break -- but in a... mm. mental? emotional? way. The sort of person you know you can trust to be a pillar against all odds sort of thing. Someone who always looks forward, unwavering in their pursuits, that don't throw in the towel just because it seems too hard or impossible...

Actions over words. People who're kind, but it comes out quietly. If that makes sense.

[ kicking feet... mm. though she seems a little distant too. reserved more like, smile small. ]

... They're things I admire in friends too, so I guess that's just natural. You like what you like for a reason.

One day you'll have to face the truth.

[ He's making a face at her. Tongue out and all. ]

Reliable's good. Strong is... optional, I suppose? I can't say I like patient people, because that idiot Han Sooyoung... Ah, shit. I said her name. [ Tongue click. ]

Man. What if this means I'm just not picky? Is that a bad thing? I wonder...

[ oh, he's into her? that's fun. malkuth can work with that come girl's night time. ]

No, I think it's just because you don't have a lot of experience! Neither do I, but I've been actively trying to figure out what I like since March said it's important to have an idea of it. For sleepovers!

[ happily said... for sleepovers. ]

Have you ever tried bungee-jumping before?

[ He's gonna pretend he didn't feel that. ]

I guess we're the same in that regard, huh. [ 'Sleepovers' has him Thinking™, so he keeps the rest of his commentary about experience. to himself. ]

I have. I like high places. Bungee-jumping, parachuting, skydiving, jumping off buildings... It's fun. There's something about the sensation of falling that's... exciting.

[ wow, they have so much in common...

... him and hsy, that is. ]

I've never tried it, but I'd like to sometime... Flying's fun enough for me right now.

[ even if she can't do it as often. given.

her drink's gone now. that was definitely downed faster. and malkuth? feels fine. totally good actually. this is definitely not a pattern. ]

Wanna hit the floor?

[ sorry the bungee jumping question was absolutely nothing she wanted to actually talk about she just wanted to ask. for her friend's sake. ]

[ Fifth date idea, then. ]

Fifth date idea, then. [ Stupid.

Kaito tugs the empty glasses away. Shakes his head. Stands up. ] Wait a minute for me.

[ The next thirty seconds are filled with (relative) silence as the dragon saunters his way across the dance floor—and up on stage after the band finishes their current tune ends. There's a bit of back and forth between Kaito and the vocalist, followed by the pair tapping their wrists together.

He slinks his way back to Malkuth and offers his hands. A new song starts up... ]

Yes. I'd like to hit the floor with you.

[ malkuth rests her head on her arms while he goes, watching after him curiously, before she rolls her eyes and sits up when he comes back. ]

You really know how to set a mood.

[ what a pleasant song... she'll take his hands and help herself up, giggling a bit when she stumbles into him. oh. there it is. that familiar floaty sensation. give her a moment, she's shaking her head. ]

Nothing too steppy, okay? I won't apologize if your feet get hurt during this one.

It's our second date. I can't slack off.

[ The way he sweeps her onto the dance floor is effortless, even if he's not-so-subtly laughing at her floaty clumsiness. ]

We can take things slow.

And if you step on my feet anyway, I'll just spin you twice.

[ Playful threatening. Kaito's hold is similar to their time in class—but this time his lower hand settles on the small of her back and presses her flush to him.

Nevermind the light color in his ears. He's almost literally glowing again. ]

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